Chapter 8: Swear Before the Buddha

In a quiet corner of the Thai house,

Phiengwad instructed the servants to bring herbal medicine and wound-cleaning supplies. Once everything was ready, she gestured for them to leave, leaving only her and La-Orchan in the room.

With gentle care, Phiengwad cleaned La-Orchan's wound. The closeness and tenderness of her touch made La-Orchan’s heart race, the sound of its beating almost audible.

"You must be more careful next time, La-Orchan," Phiengwad said, her tone carrying a hint of scolding but filled with affection.

"It’s just a small prick, P'Phiengwad. You’re worrying too much," La-Orchan replied lightly.

Phiengwad looked up, her gaze meeting La-Orchan’s, her lips curling into a soft smile. "For me, whether it’s a small wound or a large one, if it’s you, La-Orchan, it matters more than anything else."

La-Orchan chuckled. "If I’m so important to you, perhaps I should be your lover, then."

Phiengwad paused for a moment, her voice gentle but her eyes serious as she asked, "Then, would you like to try being my lover?"

La-Orchan froze, startled by the unexpected sincerity in Phiengwad’s demeanor. "P'Phiengwad, your words are as sweet as honey. If you were a man, I might think you were courting me."

Phiengwad’s smile softened. "And if I’m not a man, but a woman, would that stop me from courting you?"

Their eyes locked, as if the world around them had come to a standstill. The pull between them was undeniable. Slowly, their faces drew closer until their lips met in a soft, tender kiss—a kiss that was both sweet and profound.

It was their first kiss. Though La-Orchan felt a wave of confusion, she couldn’t deny the deep longing stirring within her.

.

.

Not far away,

La-Orduen watched the scene unfold, her heart aching with raw pain. The torment was evident in her beautiful eyes as she silently questioned herself: Would La-Orchan, her twin sister, take everything from her?

Since childhood, she had always been the one to sacrifice—giving up her favorite toys and sweets to La-Orchan. Whether it was a beautiful garment or any cherished possession, she relinquished it because her younger twin had always been frail and delicate, her health too fragile to endure disappointment.

Their parents had constantly reminded her,

“La-Orduen, you are the elder sister. You must make sacrifices for your sibling.”

Even the necklace their mother had left behind as a keepsake before her passing had been taken by La-Orchan. And now, was she expected to surrender the woman she had fallen in love with at first sight—Phiengwad—as well?

"Were you born just to take everything from me, La-Orchan?" she whispered to herself, her voice trembling with anguish.

…

Late that night, at the Thai house of Lord Noradit,

La-Orchan sat staring at her reflection in the mirror inside her bedroom. The memory of the kiss she shared with Phiengwad lingered vividly in her mind. The gentle smile, the sweet words, and the warm gaze Phiengwad had given her made La-Orchan, who had never known love before, unconsciously raise her hand to touch her own lips.

Her heart raced like never before.

"Could it be... that I’ve fallen in love with another woman?"

La-Orchan murmured to herself. Confusion and turmoil flooded her mind, the weight of societal norms and restrictions cutting deeply into her heart.

All her life, she had heard the same teachings in Ayutthaya society: a woman was meant to be with a man. The idea of a woman loving another woman was forbidden, a grave sin in the eyes of many. What would happen if her father, a high-ranking nobleman, found out? What if the people in the city learned of this? The gossip, the condemnation—how harsh would it be?

No one in this land could possibly approve of two women being together. Even Phiengwad herself might not feel the same way.

So why had Phiengwad kissed her at all?

.

.

Suddenly, the door to La-Orchan’s room swung open, revealing La-Orduen stepping inside with a radiant smile on her beautiful face.

"I knew you weren’t asleep yet, La-Orchan," she said warmly.

La-Orchan flinched slightly, quickly composing herself. "Is there something you need, P'La-Orduen?"

Her twin paused for a moment, as if hesitating to voice what was on her mind. Her gaze dropped, and she let out a long sigh.

"I’m not sure if I should say this... but if I don’t, the feelings bottled up inside me might make me burst. I trust only you, my dear sister. Because if anyone else were to hear this, they would see it as sinful, something that defies the norms of society. But I cannot suppress my heart to conform to rules created by who knows whom."

La-Orchan listened, confusion clouding her mind as her heart began to race. She couldn’t even guess what her twin was about to say.

"Sister, whatever is on your mind, you can tell me," La-Orchan urged gently.

La-Orduen sighed again, as though gathering her courage. "We both know that one day, we will be married off to men chosen by our Father. That is the path for noble Ayutthaya women like us; it cannot be escaped."

Her voice was steady, devoid of any tremor, but her words felt like sharp daggers piercing La-Orchan’s heart. She froze momentarily, her beautiful eyes dimming slightly, for she knew the truth in those words was undeniable.

She, too, understood that one day she would be wed according to her father’s wishes. Yet, her heart could no longer accept that reality. Her heart no longer yearned for a union with a man. Instead, it beat faster with every thought of "Phiengwad," the most graceful and gentle woman she had ever met.

La-Orchan found herself lost in thought, sinking deeper into her own mind, oblivious to the concerned gaze of her sister watching her.

"La-Orchan," the soft call of La-Orduen startled her slightly, making her quickly turn to meet her sister’s gaze.

"Yes," she replied quietly.

"What’s wrong? You seem lost in thought," La-Orduen asked gently.

"It’s nothing, P'La-Orduen. Please, go on," La-Orchan said, forcing a faint smile and trying to hide the turmoil in her heart.

La-Orduen observed her sister for a moment before continuing. "Though I know that marrying a man and settling down is inevitable, I have never met a man who makes me feel like I could entrust my life to him... until..."

She paused deliberately, letting the silence prompt a question from the other.

"P'La-Orduen, have you fallen in love with someone?"

La-Orchan asked, her voice steady but her heart filled with unease.

La-Orduen lifted her gaze, her eyes reflecting determination as she spoke firmly.

"It’s not a man, La-Orchan... but P’Phiengwad."

.

.

The answer sent a shiver through La-Orchan’s body. Shock and confusion overwhelmed her. She had never expected La-Orduen to harbor feelings for Phiengwad.

"I know it must be hard for you to understand, La-Orchan," La-Orduen continued. "I don’t even know how P’Phiengwad feels about me. The love between women is forbidden, condemned by society. No one would accept it. But I cannot stop my heart. If P’Phiengwad finds out about my feelings, I’m so afraid she would despise me."

La-Orchan remained silent, the words of her twin sister, La-Orduen, binding her like an invisible chain. She, too, had feelings for Phiengwad, but now, those feelings were overwhelmed by guilt for falling in love with the same woman as her sister.

Conflicting emotions surged within her chest. Why had fate decreed this? she thought. Loving another woman was already difficult enough. Why must she also fall for the same person her twin sister loved?

La-Orduen glanced at her younger sister, her eyes gleaming with a sense of triumph, as if she believed she was on the verge of victory.

"I decided to tell you, La-Orchan, because you are my only sister. We are twins, closer than any other siblings... I trust you, my dear La-Orchan."

The word "trust" struck La-Orchan like a blow to her heart. The feelings she had for Phiengwad, which she had tried so hard to conceal, now transformed into a deep sense of guilt, as if she were betraying her own twin.

Seeing her sister’s reaction, La-Orduen quickly spoke again.

"And there’s something else I want to ask you for help with, my beloved sister..."

.

.

“La-Orchan, will you swear before the sacred Buddha that you will not reveal the secret I have shared with you?”

La-Orduen’s voice echoed through the ancient temple, where the sacred green stone Buddha resided. It was the very place where the two sisters had first met Phiengwad. The moonlight streamed through the old wooden windows, casting its glow upon the Buddha’s serene face, as if watching over the two sisters kneeling before it.

La-Orduen clasped La-Orchan’s hands, guiding her to sit down. Her gaze was filled with expectation, yet there was an undertone of pressure within it.

“Will you swear?” she repeated.

La-Orchan hesitated, her large, round eyes reflecting uncertainty. Swearing an oath before the sacred Buddha was no trivial matter—it was a promise that could not be broken. But when she looked at her beloved sister and felt the weight of the trust placed upon her, she could only nod in agreement.

“Yes, I swear,” La-Orchan said, her voice sincere.

The moment she heard the response, La-Orduen’s lips curved into a smile, a hint of cunning flickering in her eyes. She leaned closer to her twin and spoke in a soft, sweet tone.

“In that case... may I ask you to swear one more thing?”

La-Orchan lifted her gaze, her heart growing heavy at the unspoken request. Before she could voice her thoughts, La-Orduen quickly continued, her words sharp and unyielding, leaving no room for objection.

“Swear before the sacred Buddha that you will help me win P’Phiengwad’s heart. If anyone, be it man or woman, seeks to court P’Phiengwad, you will help me eliminate them. And swear that you will never betray me.”

The request rang loudly in La-Orchan’s heart, cutting like a blade. How could she swear such an oath when she herself had fallen in love with Phiengwad as well?

.

.

The tension between the twin sisters grew more intense as La-Orduen gazed at La-Orchan with pleading eyes, tears brimming in her gaze.

"Will you? Consider it a favor for me, your ill-fated elder sister,"

La-Orduen said in a gentle tone, laced with an underlying pressure. Even though she could see the pale face of her younger sister and the tears welling in her wide, round eyes, she continued to smile, clasping La-Orchan’s hands as if oblivious to the pain searing through her sibling’s heart.

Seeing La-Orchan’s hesitation, La-Orduen spoke again, her voice tinged with sadness, as if to remind her sister of the sacrifices she had made over the years.

"La-Orchan, do you remember? When we were young, you were born frail, while I was stronger. Father and Mother always told me to protect and care for you, to sacrifice for you. Whatever you wanted, even if it was something I cherished, you had to have it. Even Mother’s keepsake necklace—the only one she left behind—when you asked for it, I gave it to you."

La-Orchan clenched her hands tightly, feeling the storm of inner conflict raging within her. The love she had for her sister clashed with the love she held for Phiengwad. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but how could she reconcile her feelings?

"I’ve never asked anything of you, La-Orchan," La-Orduen pressed, her voice soft yet urgent. "Can’t you do this one thing for me?"

She squeezed her sister’s hands tightly, as though urging her to make a decision.

.

.

“La-Orchan,” La-Orduen urged her twin sister once more, her voice pressing with urgency.

At last, cornered with no way out, La-Orchan surrendered to a fate that seemed preordained by forces beyond her control.

“Yes,”

La-Orchan replied softly, as though the very word drained the life from her. She slowly closed her eyes and pressed her hands together in a wai before the sacred Buddha. Her trembling voice broke the silence as she vowed an oath that would bind her heart for eternity.

“I, La-Orchan, swear before the sacred Buddha that I will help P'La-Orduen win the love of P’Phiengwad. If I learn of any man or woman seeking to court P’Phiengwad, I will assist her in removing them. And I will never betray P'La-Orduen.”

She paused for a moment, the pain cutting deep into her heart. Yet there was no turning back. Forcing herself to continue, her voice cracked under the weight of her despair.

“If I, La-Orchan, fail to uphold this vow or act against it in any way, may I suffer both physical and emotional torment until my last breath.”

As the final words left her lips, La-Orchan’s heart felt as though it had shattered into pieces, sinking into the abyss of despair. The tears she had held back began to well up, though they did not fall. The weight of her emotions was too much to bear.

She no longer had the right to love Phiengwad.

…