Chapter - 8 (Living With Dying)

1

The following morning, I had awoken to more texts from Sakura as usual. She had spent the previous night talking about the operation with her parents, as well as spending time with them.

I had hoped that we might spend some time together, but her next message squashed that idea.

"I'll be seeing Kyoko for most of the day, and I have some things to do before tomorrow so I won't be able to see you today :( hope you slept well. Miss you."

Well, that’s a bummer.

But I could understand that she'd want to spend time with her family and friends, it wasn't fair if I got to take all of her free time.

"I miss you too. Have fun with Kyoko today."

I wondered if I should say more, but decided to leave my reply at that.

Despite our unique relationship, I didn't want to come off as clingy or needy.

I may not have a ton of experience in this department, but that probably wouldn't go over well.

I thought about what I would do for the day, debating on if I should text someone to make plans. Instead, I found myself at my desk, a pile of books in front of me.

It had been a while since I had time to myself, between the looping and the past few days with Sakura.

Hours passed by as I read, checking my phone every so often in hopes that another message from Sakura would come. I wondered if I should send a message first, but the thought that it might distract her from spending time with Kyoko which turned me off from the idea.

I was making my way through the third book in the pile when my phone finally vibrated.

Quickly putting the book down, I looked to see that it was from Sakura.

"Just got back home, sorry I didn't talk to you earlier. Today was such a busy day, and I've still got some more to do but I really missed you. Are you busy?"

Maybe it wouldn't have come off as clingy then.

"Nope, just taking a break from some reading."

I hit send, placing the phone back on the desk.

Before I could even begin to do a light stretch, my phone started to vibrate once again. Instead of another message, this time she was calling.

"Hello?"

Instantly the sound of her voice filled my ear, more pleasant than any music.

"Hi, I'm not interrupting your reading, am I?"

If only you knew I've been waiting for you all day.

"Not at all, I was actually thinking of finishing for the day anyway. What's up?"

I tried to think of what could be so important that she had to call, in fact it was the first time we had ever spoken on the phone.

"Like I said, I just really missed you today."

I felt a sudden tightness in my chest as she spoke, hearing those words compared to just seeing them on a screen impacting me to the point that I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat or two.

Her tone sounded a little sad, and I wondered if there was more to it.

"I missed you too. It's weird, after all the time we've spent together the past few days and it's still not enough."

Wait did I really just say that?

There was a pause before Sakura spoke again, and I wondered if I had said too much.

"I feel the same way, I'm glad I'm not the only one."

"Is everything okay?"

Please don't tell me something bad has happened, not after everything.

"Of course, I just wanted to hear your voice before tomorrow. You will be there, right?"

I nodded, before realizing she couldn't see that.

"I will be, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Thank you, you don't know how much that means to me. My family won't be able to make it, and I couldn't ask Kyoko to come since she still doesn't know about the disease."

I couldn't imagine what her reaction would be if she knew the truth. We had barely managed to skirt by the issue at the party.

"Shall I meet you tomorrow at your house so we can go together?"

Even if it was only for a little bit longer, any time I could spend with Sakura I'd gladly take it.

"That sounds perfect, can you be here by 10 in the morning?"

That would give us enough time to get to the lab, and maybe delay for a bit.

"I can do that."

"Okay great, I can't wait to see you. I've gotta get started on some things so I'll talk to you later."

It's over so soon?

I had so much more I wanted to say, hell I just wanted to keep hearing her voice.

"I'll be looking forward to it. Love you."

I could have sworn I could hear her smile as she replied back for the final time on that call.

"I love you too."

The call ended, though I kept holding the phone up for a moment afterwards.

So tomorrow is the big day.

I wondered if I should bring her something in the morning, or go grab something for when she got out of the surgery. If I didn't have to be at her house until 10, I could probably grab something on the way over if I woke up early enough.

I went down to make myself something to eat, still wanting to stay up just a little bit longer to talk to Sakura some more. It was strange having the house to myself.

I had grown accustomed to the sound of the TV being on when I came downstairs. I turned it on as I ate, the background noise instilling a sense of normality.

After finishing, I quickly did the dishes and cleaned up the mess I had made from cooking. That had managed to kill an hour from the time I had come downstairs, but still nothing from Sakura.

I sent her a quick text telling her I was going to get to sleep early, and laid down in bed.

“Please no weird dreams tonight, that's all I ask.”

-

-

-

"I'm so sorry, I really thought this would work out. I never imagined it would end like this."

Rio comforted me as I sat in an uncomfortable hospital chair, unable to speak as tears fell like a waterfall.

It didn't work?!

I floated above the scene, watching as Sakura's parents came out of the room I was seated in front of, arms wrapped around each other in support.

“No No No NO NO NO!”

It wasn't supposed to go this way. This was supposed to be her chance at a normal life.

Why even give me the chance to save her if it was just going to end this way?!

Was this a way for fate to laugh at me?

I felt myself rising upward, and the dream changed.

I was in a church now, flowers decorated along each row of seats. Kyoko was running around in a dress, trying to get everyone set up in time.

What is this?

I watched as Sakura's mother walked down the aisle, taking a seat in the front row.

This must be a wedding, but for who?

Before I could wonder for too long, I watched myself head to the alter, dressed in a tux.

Wait, this is my wedding? So that must mean...

Before long, the rest of the wedding party had taken their place. Suddenly a familiar tune began to play, and everyone stood up and looked towards the entrance as Sakura and her father walked down the aisle.

We're getting married? So this means tomorrow really works out? Wait we're getting MARRIED?

Before I could see anymore, the sound of my alarm woke me up.

I really should have set it for a little latter.

Cursing myself, I got out of bed and turned off the alarm. I had plenty of time to go get something for Sakura, but all that was on my mind was the wedding portion of my dream.

Sure, the first part stuck with me too. But I decided to not dwell on it, there had already been so much negativity lately that I simply wanted to focus on the good.

Even if the good is something like a wedding.

Did I care about her? Absolutely.

Did I love her? Of course.

But the idea of getting married was such an out of this world concept for me. By just imagining it made me realize that the dream had taken hold in my mind.

I checked my phone, seeing a response from Sakura after I had fallen asleep.

"I understand, I did want to talk to you more but we have the walk together in the morning so I can wait until then. I hope you have sweet dreams, and that they involve me."

Oh they definitely involved you.

I wondered if I should tell her about them, but decided to hold off until after this was all over.

I had no idea what she would say if I mentioned how we were getting married in my dreams, plus there’s no way I could tell her that I had seen the operation ending terribly.

Getting cleaned up, I headed downstairs to have some coffee before I left for the day.

It was still too early for my mom to be out, so it was quiet. This time, however, I was grateful for the silence. I had so many things on my mind, and talking through them would have taken up all the time I had set aside for myself.

Stepping out of the house, I headed off for my first destination.

I had thankfully looked up the times for my stops before going to sleep, so I made it to the store just as they were opening.

After browsing for a bit, I found the first gift for Sakura. Accepting the offer to have it wrapped, I paid for the item and placed it into my bag.

Heading down the street, I walked into the second shop.

The selection here was a little sparse, though as was to be expected since they had just opened. I picked out what I hoped Sakura would like, taking it to the counter.

Handing over some more money, I was all set to head to Sakura's house.

A few minutes before 10 A.M., I knocked on her front door. I wasn't sure who would be answering, so I held the second gift behind me.

Thankfully, the person who came to the door was the person I was waiting to see.

"You're a little early. Just couldn't wait to see me huh?"

Sakura smiled as she leapt forward to hug me, and I had to quickly move my hand from behind my back so she didn't crush the gift.

Pulling back, she finally noticed what I was holding.

"Are those for me? They're lovely."

I nodded, handing the bouquet of Cherry Blossom flowers to her.

"I wasn't sure what flowers to get you, so I figured getting the ones that you're named after seemed like a safe bet."

Though they aren't as lovely as you.

Smiling, she took the flowers and gave them a small sniff.

"These are my favourite, so you did wonderfully. Not that I'd expect any less from my wonderful boyfriend."

Now it was my turn to smile, the simple praise being it's own reward.

Sakura stepped inside to place the flowers in a vase, before closing the door.

"Well we have some time to kill before we need to be at the lab, do you mind if we stop somewhere along the way?"

I nodded, figuring we would. We made our way to a park, one that we had never come to before.

Finding a spot on a bench, we sat down together as Sakura reached over to take my hand. She looked over to me before speaking up.

I hadn't really noticed until now, but she had clearly had some things on her mind this morning.

"There's something I want to say before we go to the lab."

2

"If I told you I was really afraid of dying, what would you do?"

For some reason, her question from our night in the hotel stuck in my mind as we sat on that bench. I looked over to Sakura, who had yet to say what was on her mind.

Caressing her hand, she finally looked over to me.

"This may sound a little crazy, but considering what you went through maybe it would sound so crazy."

Sakura took a deep breath before continuing.

"Lately I've started having these weird dreams after the day I was supposed to die, where it feels like I'm seeing different possibilities. I dreamed that you had tried to tell me what was going on, but I ran away from you. Then, I dreamed that none of this had ever happened… and that I was gone that day when you saved me. You were so depressed that you couldn’t attend my funeral… but after reading my diary which passed down by my mom when you finally decided to visit, you had finally gotten along with Kyoko and that made me a little happy to see."

Her voice wavered, her grip on my hand tightening.

"Then, last night… I saw us getting married, you looked so handsome in your tux. But then I also saw you looking so miserable that the procedure didn't work. I know I kinda barged into your life, and put you through a lot because of that. But I just wanted to say, despite all the bumps along the way, I'm so happy to have you in my life."

"What's wrong?"

Her question startled me, and I realized that a tear was falling down my cheek.

We had the same dreams?

Is this because of the syndrome?

I quickly wiped it away.

"Yes, you may have come into my life like a wrecking ball, but I don't regret any of it. I am who I am today because of you, despite what you might say that I made the choice to change. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be the same person I was before we meet."

Sakura laughed, and I noticed her eyes were watering as well.

"I had some of the same dreams, and I won't lie some of them scared me. The idea of losing you... it hurts."

I had to pause, choking on my words.

"When I told you that night we saw the fireworks, that I want you to live, I really meant it with every fiber of my being. If I could give my life for you to be able to live, I would."

Sakura gave me a sad smile at that.

"And then I'd have to be miserable that I didn't have you in my life."

She leaned over, resting her head on my shoulder. The scent of her shampoo filled the air, her silky smooth brown hair feeling wonderful against my skin.

"I'm sure neither of us would have imagined things would end up like this, all those months ago when we met in the hospital. But I wouldn't change anything that happened."

Neither would I.

All the times she had teased me in the past, the fight in the rain; I wouldn't have changed any of it if I knew it would lead to this.

"You know, you looked really beautiful in your wedding dress."

I could feel her face warming on my arm.

"You know it's bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding, right?"

Sakura lifted her head up, pressing her lips against my cheek.

"But thank you."

I smiled, turning to her.

"I notice that you never said you weren't interested in marriage."

Sakura blushed even more.

"Well, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else, no matter how much time I have left. Besides, my parents like you and I can't imagine they'd be surprised if we did end up getting married.'"

Sakura looked down at her phone, checking the time.

"We still have some time before it's supposed to start, do you mind if we head there now? There's something I want to look into beforehand."

Now what does she have in mind?

I nodded, standing up and offering my hand to her. Sakura smiled, taking my hand before letting out a yelp of surprise as I pulled her into a hug.

"I think I'm starting to understand what you meant in the hospital, there's something really nice about feeling someone else's warmth."

We made our way to the lab. Rio was waiting out front for us.

"Hey you guys are a little early."

I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Something tells me you knew we would be."

She gave a sly smile.

"Maybe I did. Well come on in, you guys can relax until it's time to start."

We followed her in, Rio pointed out seats for us to use.

"Actually, can I talk to you in private for a second?"

Sakura looked over to me, and I nodded.

"I'll be waiting here, go have your girl talk."

Sakura laughed, and the two of them left the room.

So, this is really happening. It was still hard to believe that there might be a way for Sakura to live a full life. The thought that we could enjoy a life together to the fullest filled me with more joy than I thought was possible.

But at the same time, that lingering fear from my dream stuck with me.

What if after everything, it all ended up being for nothing?

Was it better to not do this, and just enjoy the time we had together?

The whirlpool of emotions surged in me, and I felt ashamed with myself.

It's not my choice, it's hers. I was ultimately along for the ride.

Despite any fears I had, it would be selfish for me to tell her not to do this. She had made up her mind to give this operation a shot, I had to support her with everything I could.

Before long, I could hear the two girls’ voices coming back. Rio had a look of surprise on her face, and I could only imagine what Sakura had said to her.

"I'll give you two some time to talk, when you're ready just let me know."

Sakura nodded, and I was merely confused at everything unsaid.

Sakura took a seat next to me, looking a little bashful. Wanting to lighten the mood, I opened up my bag and took out the gift I had bought.

"I got this for you, I figured I should give it you now."

Handing the small package over to her, Sakura smiled.

"You didn't have to get me something else. Can I open it?"

I nodded, and she eagerly ripped open the wrapping.

"Oh, it's beautiful."

Inside the small jewelry box sat a necklace with a Cherry Blossom Pendant, the rose gold of the metal was accented by the pink stone in the middle of the flower.

"So, you like it then?"

It was the first gift I'd ever bought for a girl, and I had spent hours trying to decide what to get her. I hoped it wouldn't have been too cheesy, just going with something that had to do with her name.

"I love it."

Sakura smiled warmly as she took the necklace from the box, undoing the clasp.

"Will you do the honors?"

She handed the necklace to me, turning her back to me as she lifted her hair from her neck so I could place it on her.

If only you knew how cute you looked right now.

I placed the necklace around her neck, the clasp locking together. Before she could put her hair back down, I quickly kissed the back of her neck.

"Hey! Give me a little warning from next time."

Sakura scolded me, her teasing tone making me laugh.

"So that means there would be a next time then?"

She turned to me, her pure smile melting my soul.

"For as long as possible, yes."

She held out her hand.

"Can I see your phone?"

I was a little puzzled at what she had planned, but I handed over my phone. It's not like there's anything sketchy on it, if that's what she's looking for.

She pulled up my phone book, moving down to my mother’s number before pausing.

"There's something I wanted to do, but it wouldn't feel right if we didn't at least ask first."

"Ask what? What do you have in mind?"

Was she planning to tell my mom about her disease?

What did that have to do with asking her something?

"Don't be mad, but I may have mentioned the dreams I had to Rio-san. And she may have mentioned that one of the doctors is a registered minister. So..."

Slowly everything dawned on me.

Wait… WHAT?

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Sakura nodded shyly.

"I already spoke to my parents while I was with Rio-san. While they would want a real wedding one day, they said if this is what I really want to do then they'd agree. If it makes you feel better, just think of this as practice for the real thing."

If it was possible, my jaw would have hit the floor like one of those old cartoons.

Wait she wants to get married?

Aren't we too young? Before I could respond, Sakura continued.

"If you don't want to do this, I'd understand. It's not as though we'd have an official document or anything, so you don’t have to worry about our legal age to marry right now. It would just be something our families and us to know about. But I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how I truly feel about you."

She smiled, looking down as if a little afraid to have even brought it up after I hadn't said anything.

"I just thought it might be nice to know that while I'm in surgery, I have someone who means more than the world to me waiting outside. Not that you don't mean that much to me already. Maybe it was silly to even bring it up, let's just forget about it."

I took the phone from her hand, pressing the call button. It rang twice before my mother picked up.

"Hi dear, is everything okay? This is out of the ordinary for you."

Sakura looked at me, surprised but not saying anything.

"Yes, and I know. There's something I need to ask you. What do you think about Sakura?"

There was a short pause, and I could feel Sakura's gaze piercing through me. I put the phone on speaker, and waited for my mother to respond.

"She's absolutely wonderful, I had a great time meeting her the other day. I was so very happy to meet her, she's a perfect friend for you and an even better girlfriend. Is everything okay?"

I took a deep breath, ready for what was to come.

"Everything is good. So, what would you say if I told you that I wanted to marry her?"

I braced myself for the storm.

"W-Wait, so soon? Well, if it's what you truly want, I can't say no. You're not going to tell me that I can expect to be a grandmother next, are you?"

I wasn't sure who was more red in that moment.

"No, I can't exactly say what made me bring this up in the first place, and eventually one day we'd want to do things properly. But this is something we both want to do today, but not without your blessing."

Sakura smiled, finally hearing my answer.

"Well, I'm sure you would have a good reason for doing this, but I expect we'll have to have a talk with your father about this later. It might be a good idea to have your bride there to explain things too, since he does still want to meet her."

"I promise we'll explain everything, and thank you. You don't know how much this means to me and her."

Sakura placed her hand in mine, and we smiled at one another.

"I'll be looking forward to that conversation. Does her parents know about this?"

Sakura chimed in.

"Hi, sorry. Yes they do, they both agreed to it."

"Oh! Hello Sakura. Well, if her parents said yes, then I'd feel bad saying no. Just let me know when the two of you will be by for that talk."

Sakura and I both spoke up at the same time.

"Thank you."

I could have sworn I could hear my mother smiling on the other end of the call.

"Yes you're both welcome. I'll talk to you two later."

Hanging up the phone, Sakura and I simply looked at one another.

"So, are you really sure about this?"

I nodded.

"I understand why you brought it up, and we'll have plenty of time to do things properly in the future."

Sakura smiled, and had a smug look on her face.

"Isn't there something you should be asking me?"

Oh duh. I got up, getting down on one knee.

"I know I should probably have a ring to do this, but Sakura Yamauchi, will you marry me?"

I'm really doing this, aren't I?

I knew that our way of doing things was completely out of the ordinary, but I also knew that there was no one else I'd want to devote my life to.

"Of course I will."

Tears of joy fell down both of our faces as we embraced.

"If I had known that this would be happening today, I would have dressed a little nicer I guess."

Sakura laughed.

"Well, that can always be fixed when we have the real deal in the future."

Rio must have been waiting outside of the room, because we heard a small knock on the door before she entered into the room.

"Shall we get started then?"

Sakura and I nodded, following her through the building to a different room.

Inside, one of the members of the surgery team was finishing setting up some chairs. Before I could wonder who they were for, the door behind us opened and Sakuta and Mai walked in.

"We heard that the two of you were planning to get married before us, so we had to be here. I hope it's okay for us to be here."

Sakura and I nodded with a giggle, greeting them. The two of them took their seats next to Rio, and Sakura and I made our way in front of the minister.

"As we are under a bit of a time crunch, we'll have to make this a little brief, if that's okay with the two of you."

Sakura and I nodded.

"Dear friends, we gather today to see these two united into one. If anyone would wish to object, now would be the time to do so."

I half expected Kyoko to come rushing in, yelling how this was too soon. But no one spoke up, and the minister continued.

"As this is a bit sudden, but do the two of you have vows to share with one another?"

I looked to Sakura, unsure of who would speak first. Before I could start, Sakura began.

"It may not have been the typical way that most people do things, but every step along the path we've taken together has been something I treasure. The good times, the bad times, I wouldn't give any of it up. I already wrote it in my diary, but I want to say it in my own words today. Actually, I’ve been curious about you since way before we met at the hospital. You see... I looked up to you. You're really an amazing person. It seemed to me like we two were Yin & Yang. To be honest, there were many times I thought I was in love with you starting from the night at the hotel. I mean, my heart skipped a beat whenever we hugged, and kissed…”

I couldn’t believe the words I was hearing from her. I just stood there and continued to listen.

“My allure had always depended on others… it’s through them that I felt like I did exist. Relationships shape us, give us meaning. I’ve always believed that and you know it too. But you… you’ve always stood apart. Without needing anyone, you found your own strength, your own brilliance. I envied that. That day when you told me that you wanted me to live… when you told me what all you went through just to save me… you gave me something I’d never had: the ability to see myself as someone unique. For the first time in my life, I felt like “me”. Before, I was just another face in the crowd, an ordinary high schooler with a life cut short. But you, someone who didn’t need any connection or love, chose me… a simple, unremarkable girl. You saw me when I couldn’t even see myself.”

“Perhaps I've spent 17 years waiting to be needed by you. Just like how cherry blossoms wait for spring. I hope that I can make you as happy as you've made me, and that our future shines as bright as the smiles that we've shared. I may not know what will come in the future, but I know that I love you more and more each day. But our relationship can't be described through simple terms like love or friendship, right? So I’ve decided what I need to say today…. I Want To Eat Your Pancreas… Haruki.”

I didn’t know that I wanted to smile or cry. Her every single word touched my heart. Tears of happiness formed in my eyes as I smiled.

It was my time to take the vows. So, I tried my best to make her understand how I truly felt for her.

"Sakura… before we met, I used to live my life in solitude, finding peace in countless books I buried myself in. If someone had told me back before we met, that I'd find myself where I am now, I would have just told them to go talk nonsense somewhere else. I used to not have any interest in others. But it would feel wrong to say that you changed me… because you would say that I chose to change myself. I was the one who chose to pick up your abandoned Living With Dying diary. I had chosen to go out with you and spend so much time together by making so many memories that I could never forget… and I was the one who had chosen to save you with all my determination and whatever I had to offer. Now I choose to walk alongside with you forever.”

I could feel Sakura’s eyes becoming misty as she put both her palms over her mouth.

“You say that I’m an amazing person… but I’ve to say you’re the one who’s truly amazing. I probably wanted to become like you since the very beginning. Able to acknowledge others, acknowledged by others, able to love others and loved by others… a person like that. Because of your help, I've become a better person. I've made so many friends, laughed and cried and felt so many things that I never imagined I would because of another person. We may be completely polar opposites in so many ways, but there's no one else I'd want to spend my life with. Maybe I've also spent my 17 years waiting to be needed by you."

I could hear her sniffling and her small panting through her mouth.

“I guess I should end this vow with something like “I’d like to take a leaf out of your book…” but as you already said that it would be a shame to describe our relationship in such mere simple words. But now my mind is clear and I finally have the answer to our relationship… I Want To Eat Your Pancreas too… Sakura.”

I could have sworn I could hear her crying from behind us, but I had enough sense to not turn around.

The minister finally smiled.

"That was… so beautiful. If the bride and groom would face each other now and take each other’s hands."

Sakura and I turned, a faint flush upon her cheeks and she smiled at me. Tears in both of our eyes.

"Do you Haruki Shiga take Sakura Yamauchi as your bride, to live life together in the bond of matrimony?"

"I do."

"Do you swear to take care of her in good times and in poor, through sickness and in health?"

Ah the irony.

"I do."

"Do you promise to be faithful, cherishing your wife until the end of your journey?"

"I do."

I was glad he had changed things up, it was one less reminder of what had brought us here today in the first place.

"Do you Sakura Yamauchi take Haruki Shiga as your husband, to live life together in the bond of matrimony?"

"I do."

The minister went through the same steps with Sakura, each she said “yes” I felt happier and happier.

"By the power vested in me, in front of these friends gathered here today, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Sakura smiled as we stepped closer, my hand rising up to caress her cheek as our lips pressed together.

Behind us, I could hear the three friends that had come to support us clapping.

3

"We will begin the surgery prep in twenty minutes, we will come to get you when it is time."

The minister headed out of the room, quickly congratulating us on his way. Even if we didn't have paperwork saying we were married, I knew deep down that I didn't regret this.

Sakura is going to pull through this, and one day we'll have the real deal. Rio and Mai were wiping their eyes, confirming my thought earlier.

"For an on-the-spot wedding… those vows were beyond lovely."

Mai spoke up, handing a tissue to her fiancé. Sakuta shed a tear but didn’t let us notice.

“You guys really had to make it so emotional huh? Damn…”

"Thank you, it was a little tough being put on the spot like that but I just spoke from the heart."

Sakura leaned on me, and I wrapped my arm around her. Then Sakuta got close to Mai and teased her.

"You have some stiff competition now, I'm curious to see what you'll say when it's our wedding."

Mai then stepped on his foot, and a smug look on her face.

"I know, but I know just the guy to talk to for advice."

Sakuta then smirked at her and sighed.

“Hah… We also might’ve gotten married along with Haruki and Sakura, don’t you think love?”

Then Mai let go of his foot and murmured in such a way that only he could hear.

“In time my dear hubby… have some patience, dummy.”

They both giggled.

Then, Sakuta reached out his hand, shaking mine. He and I walked together as Mai and Rio congratulated Sakura.

"I'm very proud of you, if I didn't know the story of you two share, I would have thought that you've been together for ages."

Did it really come off that way?

I smiled warmly at him, then walked over with him as Sakura showed the girls the necklace I had given her.

"So how are you holding up with all of this?"

Sakuta leaned against the wall.

"Well, the wedding was a surprise definitely, but I was even more surprised that both her parents and my mom were okay with it."

Sakuta shook his head.

"I meant with the procedure. Though I was a bit surprised to get the call from Futaba asking us to come and become witnesses to a wedding. That’s when we found out about Sakura’s condition. I can understand why you kept it a secret, so don’t need to apologise to me or Mai-san."

I looked down for a moment.

"I'm… terrified. She means the world to me, no even more than that. After everything I went through, it just scares me that this chance to save her could be the very thing that..."

I trailed off, unable to say the rest.

Sakuta nodded.

"Have you told her that?"

I shook my head.

"I didn't want her to worry about me when she's going in, I'd rather just be happy than bring her down."

"Can I be honest with you?"

I slowly nodded.

"You should tell her. I'm praying that this goes well, I really am. But I think it's better to not have any regrets. I don't think she'd be worried but I think she'd be touched that you care so much about her."

I looked up to him, his warm smile pushing away the fear for a moment.

"Remember our talk on the beach? You may feel sorry and have doubts along the way. But honesty and positivity go a long way in a relationship. And now the two of you are in the deepest relationship there is."

"I guess you do have a point."

Sakuta smiled again.

"Great, well then I think you know what you need to do then."

He walked over to the girls, whispering to Mai. She looked over to me, and then nodded to Sakuta.

Taking Rio with her, the three of them stepped out of the room.

Sakura and I slowly made our way to each other.

"So that really just happened huh? It almost feels like a dream doesn't it?"

I nodded, working up the nerve to tell her how I felt.

"Sakura, there's something I want to say before you go into surgery. Honestly, I'm terrified. You mean so much more to me than I could ever put into words, that when I had that dream of the surgery going badly… I was completely shaken. I can't say I don't want you to go through with it, because if it works then that means I'd get to spend my life with you. But the thought of losing you, it just..."

I couldn't say anymore, feeling as though I would break down in front of her if I did. Sakura gently placed her arms around me.

"I'm scared too. It feels like my whole life has led me to this moment, the thought that we might not get more than this just stabs my heart. But you don't know how much it means to hear you say that. I said it before, but I truly am blessed to have someone care about me this much. But once I'm out of this surgery, we will have our whole lives to spend together."

The dam inside me finally broke, and tears fell uninterrupted.

"It's almost time for me to go in, I really wish we had longer. But I promise I'll see you soon."

Sakura started to pull back but I didn't want to let go just yet. I leaned in, kissing her as we both smiled.

Sakuta and Mai had offered to stick around once Sakura went into surgery, but I waved them off.

I had a lot on my mind, between the events of the past few days, the quick wedding ceremony, and all the emotions currently swirling inside from all of it.

Rio popped in and out of the waiting room, checking on me every so often. She wasn't a doctor, so she wasn't going into the operating room. But she managed to pass along updates when the doctors would rotate out.

I can't believe we really did that.

True, it wasn't a real ceremony with rings but it was still hard to believe.

Sakura really doesn't mind spending the rest of her life with me, huh?

I could only imagine what Kyoko would say once she heard the news. We had managed to become a little friendlier in the past few days, but I could easily see her raising a fuss over the wedding.

"Just to be sure, you don't have any interest in making me your girlfriend right?"

Back then, I wasn't really sure how I felt about Sakura. I had begun to enjoy spending time with her, but it was hard to pin down just how she saw me.

Somewhere along the way, I know I had gone from just being "Classmate That Knows Her Secret" to something that could be considered friends.

"There was moments where I really felt as though I was falling for you."

But when had she truly fallen past the point of no return?

Maybe there wasn’t just one moment, simply a slow build over her feelings over each time that burst through the walls she had set up for herself.

I know for myself that was exactly what had happened. Sure, I may have been interested that day on the beach. But back then, I still never quite knew if she was ever being serious or if it was just another joke.

Perhaps it was the night we spent in the hotel playing truth or dare that started me down this path. Up until then, all I had to go on was the times we had spent together, as well as her looks. I can admit that I did find her attractive, though coming out and admitting it was not an easy task.

But as I learned more about who she was, what she was like growing up, I could feel myself becoming more and more interested in this girl who had forced her way into my life.

Part of it was wanting become more like her, but also wanting to be closer to her infectious personality.

Rio popped back in the room with another update.

"So far so good. The doctors are saying it should only be a few more hours until it's over. How are you holding up?"

I leaned back, feeling a bit stiff from sitting down for so long.

"I'm hanging in there, still a little nervous about everything.

It's still hard to believe we went through with that."

Rio took a seat next to me, smiling.

"Young love is very interesting to witness. For an on-the-spot wedding, you both did an incredible job."

She leaned back in the chair, stretching out and yawning.

"Thank you for making all of this possible, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be sitting here right now."

I thought back to the first time we encountered each other at that net cafe, not realizing just how much that moment would change my life.

"But of course, it was beneficial for both of us. I got to have more research for my work, and you got to save someone you care so deeply about."

Rio pulled a can of coffee from her lab coat pocket, cracking it open and taking a sip.

"Have you worked with many others that had the syndrome?"

I knew from our previous talks that she had some experience, but I never knew just how many times she had.

"There were a few cases here and there after we all graduated high school but mostly Sakuta dealt with it during his First Year of his University days.

After he solved the adolescence syndrome of Miori Mitou as well as dealt with his own personal problems, it has gotten pretty rare not gonna lie. I've spent a lot of time just doing research, and writing papers and articles on my past experiences. That’s all."

Rio took another drink, sighing in relief at the caffeine entering her system.

"To be honest, your case was the first one I've dealt with in a long while. It was a nice change of pace from browsing online, reading old forums and message boards. It's hard to tell what's true and what's make believe on there."

I nodded, not spending much time online myself but I could only imagine what she had to dig through just to find something useful for her research.

I asked if Sakura had mentioned anything about dreams when the two had disappeared earlier, but Rio shook her head.

Quickly catching her up, Rio puzzled over this new information.

"As far as I'm aware, she isn't dealing with her own syndrome. In regards to your situation, this may simply be more lingering effects. How and why it's affected her may be due to the tight bond between you two."

Rio leaned back, deep in thought.

"The human mind is a mystery, even after decades and even centuries of research. There's still so much we don't understand."

I nodded, completely out of my depth at this point.

"It may be that the bond the two of you share, the same bond that led to you awakening the syndrome, carried over and affected her too."

"So if it was with someone else, and we had a close enough bond, the same thing could happen?"

Rio shook her head.

"I don't believe so. I'll want to ask both of you a lot of questions for my research. But it is a fact that our brain waves can be sensed with technology, so perhaps that has something to do with the fact that she had the same dreams as you. In a sense, the remnants of your syndrome got transmitted to her. At least, that's my theory."

Rio stood up, stretching out.

"I'll be back once I hear anything else, though I'll also be spending some time writing out what you've told me. Thank you for that."

With a smile, she was gone.

I started to close my eyes, figuring I could catch a short nap, when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Checking who was calling, I braced myself as I answered the phone.

"Hey dad."

I could only imagine he was calling because he had heard the news from my mother.

"So, I heard some interesting news today. You went and got married?"

Oh boy here we go.

"Yes, but it wasn't an official ceremony or anything. No paperwork or rings."

He gave a small grunt at that.

"But it's something that you wanted to do?"

"Yes, she means a lot to me."

No matter what, I'd have gone through with it.

"That's good to hear, I'm proud of you son. You'll have to bring her around sometime, I'd love to meet her. Your mother has told me all about her."

"We're both looking forward to it, she was really hoping to meet you the last time she came over."

My dad let out a small chuckle.

"Are the two of you busy today? Maybe you can bring her by."

"Today probably wouldn't be a good day, she's in surgery at the moment."

I couldn't think of a good lie, he would have seen through it. Saying the minimum truth would have to be enough.

"Is everything okay? If you want to talk, I'm always here for you."

Maybe one day, when things are better for her.

"Thanks, but I can't really say much more. But yes, everything is okay."

"Well when you can say more, I'll be here to listen."

That'll be sooner than you expect.

"Thanks dad, I appreciate it."

This was the longest conversation we had in a while, so I wasn't really sure what else to say; our relationship had become a little strained over the years due to my solitary lifestyle.

"I better get back to work, just wanted to hear how things were going with you."

Maybe he feels the strain of this too.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

The call ended, and I let out a sigh of relief.

To be honest, the call was a nice break from the waiting. If things were different between us, I would have gladly talked for longer.

I had no idea how long the operation would take, so any distraction to pass the time was a welcome respite.

Checking my phone, I could see that it had already been two hours since Sakura had gone into the operating room. Wishing I had planned ahead and brought something to read, I began to pace around the room.

My impatience and nervousness were starting the get the better of me.

By the time Rio showed back up, I almost pounced toward her but thankfully I had enough sense to hold back from doing so.

"Any updates?"

I hoped my voice didn't betray how I felt at the moment.

Rio leaned against the wall, arms crossed.

"They're still going, all I can say is that nothing bad has happened. If you wanted to step out and get some fresh air, take a walk, you can."

I quickly shook my head. No matter what, I would be here until the operation was over.

"In that case, do you want to come with me? Beats staying in this room all by yourself."

Rio walked towards one of the doors leading out of the room, beckoning to me to follow her.

We ended up back in the main lab, taking a seat at the desk I had seen her working at before. I noticed she had a scattering of papers that had my name on them.

"I could use an extra set of eyes going over everything you told me, if I missed anything or if you have anything else to add."

I grabbed a few pieces of the paperwork and got to work. From what I grabbed, it seemed to be a general time line of the days’ events with notes scribbled on the side. I decided to skim through, paying more attention to the parts that had the added notes.

-

-

-

Day 0

The subject experiences a high level of shock and trauma, triggering the Adolescence Syndrome at the end of the day.

-

Day 1

Subject realises that he’s in a time loop and tries to interpret the phenomenon. Then he notices that he has another version of him living the same day like he did the original day. Subject tried to make contact with him but failed.

(Probably due to the prevention of creating a Paradox)

-

Day 2

I met the subject at a net cafe, he appears to be experiencing a very trivial and intriguing case of A.S.

(his case has some similarities to past cases, however the same solutions used will not work here).

The subject mentioned seeing visions of events that have not happened yet. Subject didn’t have any dreams regarding these current events and didn’t post it in #Dreaming on SNS.

(possible outcomes?)

-

Day 3

Due to the nature of the subjects A.S., any memories of the past day are forgotten except by him. Subject even has another version of himself who lives the day normally like he was supposed to.

(Reference the Laplace's Demon & Doppelgänger Case files for similarities)

The subject ran into a friend of the person who was a catalyst for the A.S.

(Perhaps they could be useful in solving this case)

-

Day 4

The friend that the subject ran into appears to have retained memories from the previous day. They plan to save the person who was the catalyst for triggering the A.S. into motion.

(As with the Schrödinger's cat case, perhaps sleep is part of the reason why everyone else's memories are reset except for Sakuta Azusagawa who was awake with the subject the entire night)

I was tempted to ask about the cases that were referenced throughout the paperwork; even though my case of A.S. was hopefully finished now, I still found it all quite interesting.

-

-

I handed the papers over to Rio.

"It looks like you got it all, I can't think of anything that you missed."

Rio nodded absent mindedly, busy pouring over her own stack of papers. Finally looking up, she took of her glasses.

"Thank you for the help. It was a little tough to come up with all of this, having no memory of each day and having to essentially start from scratch."

I nodded, understanding how annoying that must have been for her.

"So, what happens now?"

Rio took off her glasses and looked over to me.

"Now I write it all up, scan in some of the documents, and add it to the rest of my work. Nothing too exciting."

Rio checked the time, getting up from her desk.

"I should check up on how the procedure is going, do you want to come with?"

I nodded, though the answer was obvious before she even asked. Of course I wanted to know, even a small update saying everything was good was enough to tide me over.

We made our way back to the waiting area, and soon enough one of the doctors came out. But one look at his face sent me into a small panic.

He attempted to pull Rio out of the room, but she shook her head.

"I'll just end up telling him anyway, might as well just say it here."

The doctor was clearly in a hurry, so he didn't even bother trying to argue with her.

"Everything has been going well, except now the patient has lost more blood than we had anticipated. Without any stocks here, we need a donor fast. We've been trying to contact the nearby hospitals and clinics to get some."

If I wasn't seated, I felt as though my legs would have collapsed underneath me.

After everything, such a small detail could lead to the end?

I barely even heard what they said next, it was only when Rio got in my face that I realized she was talking to me.

"Hey we need you, don't fall apart on me now."

The doctor was still in the room, a look of worry for me on his face.

"What can I do?"

My voice was barely a whisper, the fear of losing Sakura taking hold over me once more.

"Do you know your blood type?"

I thought back to my time at the hospital, when I had gone to get my appendix removed.

"It's O negative."

Immediately the doctor and Rio were helping me out of my seat. Rio leaned in and whispered to me.

"Then, you can still save her."

I found myself laying on a table, the doctor swabbing my arm to prepare it for the needle. My head rolled to the side, partly out of not wanting to see what came next, and partly of the lingering shock.

I realized now that I was in the same operating room as Sakura.

Her face was peaceful, as though she was simply just taking a nap at the moment. She looked a little paler than usual, most likely from the blood loss and whatever drugs were pumping into her system for the procedure. I felt a small pinch, but I still didn't look back to my arm.

All I could do in the moment was focus on Sakura, wishing and praying to whatever gods were listening to save her. Even if I had to give my life for her, I wanted her to live.

I could hear the doctors in the room, but it sounded as though they were far away.

In that moment, I was only aware of Sakura. But before long, I could feel my eyelids becoming heavier and heavier.

Maybe it was a combination of the blood being sent from my body to her, the raw emotional toll of the days’ events, and the experiences of my adolescence syndrome, but I found it hard to stay conscious.

I fought it for as long as I could, but in the end I failed.