Alice: Let Me Help

Ugh, so bright. Did I forget to close the blinds last night? And when did I get a TV in my room? Wait… where am I? Oh right, I fell asleep on the couch waiting for Jason. He must’ve gotten home super late if I passed out here. Hm, what time is it… wait, where’s my phone?

I scoured the room, tossing blankets and pillows aside in a frantic search for my phone. When I finally found it, I clicked the power button: once, twice, over and over. Nothing. It was dead. I had no idea what time it was or if I was late for class. But then I paused. The sunlight pouring through the window was unusually bright for this early in the morning.

Wait, it's way too late to be eight right now. Oh no. Don’t tell me—

I’M LATE AGAIN!

I sprang up from the couch and started to rush over to my bathroom. While stumbling, I noticed a blanket wrapped around my legs. I kicked my leg, shaking the blanket off my leg and bolted towards my room. As I entered my room, I stepped on a sock, causing me to trip and fall.

THUMP

Face first onto the carpet, ouch. What a great way to start the day. At least my floor isn’t hardwood. Wait, if it’s late and I was still asleep, that means Jason hasn't woken up either! Perfect, I mean it’s not perfect, but this is my chance to help him out.

“So what happened here?” Jason said as he tried to hold his laughter.

I looked behind me, still laying on the floor, “Oh, what? You’re awake?“

“After that loud thump who wouldn’t be,” he said with a smug grin, “Anyways, what’s with all the noise.”

I immediately stood up and rushed over to him, leaning into his face. “Do you know what time it is?” I asked, my voice filled with concern.

He took a step back and looked over to the side before answering me. “Uh, it’s like ten. What about it?”

“Exactly!” I quickly leaned back. “We’re going to be late again,” I said, turning around and rushing into the bathroom. “We have to get ready as soon as possible!”

“You do know that it’s Wednesday right?”

…

I slowly opened up my door and peeked my head out. “I did not…” My voice filled with shame and embarrassment.

Jason let out a giggle, intentionally louder than it needed to be. “So there’s no need to rush then. We got like an hour thirty before we leave so I can make us a quick breakfast while you get ready. You down for that?”

“No.” I quickly replied, “Allow me to make it.” This was the perfect chance for me to pay him back. For a second I think I saw a glimpse of panic in his face. Jason looked concerned. I might’ve said it too aggressively since I was excited. 

Did I say something wrong? Or was it the way I said it?

He was still quiet, motionless even. “Hey, are you okay?”

He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure how to say whatever was on his mind. Then, without a word, he looked off to the side, deliberately avoiding my eyes. “Y-yeah.” When he turned back to me, his whole demeanor had changed. “Just not sure that’s safe? You cooking and all.”

As I narrowed my gaze, I shot him an annoyed look. “Of course it’s safe.” Puffing out my chest, I planted my hands on my hips. “I’m somewhat of a chef myself,” I proudly said.

“I-I really don’t mind making breakfast though.” Jason’s voice was a bit shaky, as if he was unsure about making breakfast.

If he’s unsure on whether or not he wants to cook, then I’ll happily do it. This is my time to shine.

“Please, don’t worry about it. Today I’ll cook something good for you. Just give me like ten minutes to get ready.”

“U-uh okay then. But just let me know if you need help.” He seemed so adamant on helping me.

Does he think I’m so useless that I can’t make breakfast? No matter. Today I will prove him WRONG!

I proved him right…

It was supposed to be simple and easy: just some sunny side up eggs, toast, and bacon. But I somehow managed to burn the bacon and accidentally scrambled the eggs. I plated the mess I made and shamefully placed it in front of Jason.

“Oh… Hey, at least the toast isn’t burnt,” he said while offering a small and uncertain smile.

I looked down at the food, plagued with shame. “You can thank the toaster for that…”

There was an awkward silence where I could only feel the weight of my shame. As if I had just lost to a newborn in an arm wrestle.

“At least you tried,” he said, clearly trying to cheer me up but not sure if he’s helping.

“Trying doesn’t always equal success.”

“You were just worried about getting late to class. Trying to do everything all at once is never a good idea, especially if you have no one to help you.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Anyways, why did you want to make breakfast?”

“Well it’s just that you’re always helping me out so I wanted to do this for you.” I muttered under my breath.

His expression softened into a warm smile. “Oh, thank you then. I’ll eat it all. But next time leave the cooking to me okay?”

Seeing his smile made my chest tighten. I looked away, heat rising in my face. “N-no, I… I can’t just do nothing.” I whispered, voice trembling. “I just… I needed to do something for you too.”

“Oh…”

Why did I say that?! That sounds so corny and stupid and like stupid! Someone kill me now!

“And why is that?” he answered, his voice was a bit shaky.

“Just cause…” I looked down at my lap. “I want to cook something special for you.”

Why do I keep talking?! I probably sound like an idiot right now. He’s probably giving me such a disgusted look.

The shame was crushing. I was sure he’d be disgusted with me, ready to look down on me like I was something small and pathetic. Who wouldn’t be, after hearing something that embarrassing? The fear pinned me down, made it hard to even lift my head. But I couldn’t sit there staring at my lap forever. Slowly, I looked up, bracing for a condescending stare. But that’s not what I saw. His expression… It wasn't disgust. It was something closer to joy. Like I’d just handed a starving man a feast. I didn’t get it, I had miserably failed at such an easy task. Yet he was happy?

This doesn’t make any sense.

“Thank you.” It was only two words. Nothing more, nothing less. But the way he said it made my heart flutter. His kind and gentle smile helped strengthen this feeling. It felt like stepping into sunlight after days of rain. “But don’t think you have to do anything for me.”

I jumped out of my seat, barely noticing I was only a few inches away from his face. “Don’t say that! You’ve done so much for me, this is the least I can do for you. So please, just let me do this for you.” He didn’t answer right away, and in the silence, I suddenly felt the heat rush to my face. I was way too close. I sat down again in a hurry, heart pounding. “J-just let me pay you back. I swear I won’t mess up again.”

It was quiet. All I could do was look down at my lap, waiting for Jason to answer. Jason eventually let out a small sigh, as if he was accepting defeat. “Fine, just don’t burn down the kitchen.”

My face lit up. I guess the excitement drowned out the embarrassment, because I met his gaze without hesitation. “No promises,” I said with a grin.

After we finished eating, Jason offered to do the dishes. I told him not to, it felt wrong to make him clean up after I’d already served him burnt bacon. Once I finished, we headed to class. For once, we weren’t late. Class went surprisingly well and I was able to understand most of the material. Jason said that if I ever had trouble, I could just ask him for help—he’d be happy to “dumb it down” for me, apparently. I think he was trying to be nice, but he said it with such a smug look on his face that it was hard to tell. The smirk didn’t exactly scream sincere. Still... I guess it’s the thought that counts?

On the way to our next class, we ran into Luca. He asked if we wanted to meet up later in case we needed help with the homework. I was about to say something, but Jason spoke up first. “Nah, we’re good. Thanks though.” he said, a little too quickly. Technically, we didn’t have that class today, so it made sense to decline. But still, I felt a little bad. Luca looked like he genuinely wanted to help but that didn’t matter to Jason. Jason just kept walking like it was nothing. I shrugged it off. Maybe he isn’t in the studying mood. After all, he barely studies on his own so why would a loner like him would want to do it with someone else.

After my last two classes, Jason and I met up at a cafe to get some work done. Surprisingly, I managed to finish everything in one sitting. On top of that, I did it without getting too confused or lost. Jason decided to head home after completing his work. He asked if I was hungry and offered to make food. I told him no, but that was a total lie. I was starving. That crappy breakfast, if you could even call it that, was definitely not enough to last me the day.

But I need to hold out a little longer. Jason usually doesn’t cook unless he’s making something for the both of us. So I know for sure there won’t be food ready tonight. I’m going to use this chance to make dinner for him tonight. And this time, I won’t fail.

I’ll stop by a bookstore for a cookbook, then swing by a grocery store for ingredients.

My first stop was a bookstore.

Hmm, all of these look so tasty. My mouth is watering just by looking at these pictures. Ughhh, I’m so hungry. Never mind that, I need to find a good one.

I kept searching and eventually spotted two books on the bottom shelf, so I squatted down to take a closer look.

This one has more Asian dishes with some American dishes. But this one has more European dishes. I wonder which one Jason would like more. From what he makes it seems like he likes Asian dishes more. But that means he already knows how to make Asian food, so do I really need to get this one? At the same time I kind of do like Asian food more and it also has some American dishes so it wouldn’t be too bad. But trying something new could be fun. What if I end up not liking European dishes? Would that mean I just wasted money? I hate trying new things but at the same time this is for Jason so should I just get this book then.

“Whatchu lookin at?” an unfamiliar voice asks.

I turned over and noticed a girl’s face right beside mine. This made me fall over. She stood over me with a curious look. She looked kind of familiar.

Oh yeah, she's from my psychology class.

I responded quickly, my voice trembling, “Oh uh books.”

Her hand reached out to me, palm open, as if silently asking for permission. I hesitated for a moment, then slowly reached for it. Before I could even fully close the distance, she took my hand and pulled me to my feet.

“Sorry for startling you just now,” she said while scratching the back of her head and letting out a soft laugh.

“I-it’s fine.” I nervously answered.

As she squats down and picks up the books I had dropped she said, “Here let me get those books for you.” She stood up with the books in her hands. She took a look at the cover and the back. “Cooking huh...”

“Y-yeah.”

“Here,” she held out the books waiting for me to grab them. I took them off her hands and held them close to my chest. “You learning how to cook or something?”

My eyes dart towards the floor, “I… um… it’s for a friend. So yeah, I guess”

She let off a playful smirk. “This friend of yours, are you close with him?”

“Yeah, I guess… we’re roommates.” I said while hugging my books a little tighter.

She covered her mouth with her hand and gave me a suspicious look while saying, “Living with a boy huh. How dirty… ”

My face immediately turns red, “W-what n-no it’s not like that. I swear.” I quickly denied.

“Don’t get too worked up now, I was only kidding.”

…

“Oh okay.”

“I’m Aiko by the way, Aiko Umehara. I’m in your psychology class. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Alice. Nice meeting you too.” I muttered.

“I recognized you from class and just wanted to talk for a bit. You seemed nice enough to approach, so here I am.”

“Oh thanks. But you know, it’s not nice to tease someone you just met like that.”

“Sorry,” she said. But a slight glint in her eye told me it wasn’t too sincere. “Tell you what, you said you’re trying to learn how to cook right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“How about I teach you a thing or two? My way of an apology. It’ll be fun, promise. Think of it as my way of apologizing. That way you can totally impress your totally platonic roommate.”

I blinked at her offer. There was no way I lucked out this much. “W-what really?”

“Yeah, why not.” she said grinning. “You’re fun to mess with.”

“Huh what?” Did I hear that right?

“Nothing,” she quickly replied.

“Why would you do that though, for someone you just met?”

She shrugged her shoulders and let out a playful smile, “Who knows, seems like it would be fun I guess.”

“Oh okay. I have to—”

“But before I help you out, be real with me for a second, what’s your relationship with your roommate?”

I looked down before answering her, “W-we’re just friends.”

I glanced up just enough to catch her face . That smirk, that sparkle in her eye. Yeah, something’s off.. She seemed too amused by that answer.

“Yeah this will definitely be fun.” she said. “You have any ingredients at home?”

“Not yet, I was planning on shopping for some after picking up a book.”

“How about I tag along, I can help you decide what to make.”

“Really?! That’d be great.”

“Alright let’s get going then.”

Before we left, we had to decide on a cookbook. I brought up the book with European recipes. She told me that it wasn’t needed since that was her specialty. She said “As long as you have me around you won’t need that book.” So I ended up getting the one with more Asian recipes. After that we headed over to the grocery store where Aiko would help me pick out ingredients.