Night

Why is life hard for people who try their best to just live. How does other people make it seem so easy, how can people still cling unto hope even if they are faced with cold hard facts that there is no hope and giving up is the only option. 
Is it the unfathomable human spirit?
or is it the incomprehensible stupidity of self-preservation?
Romanticizing suffering,
Being martyrs for their own personal crusades.
People admiring others, whether they're right or wrong.
Chasing something or someone that will never be yours and yours to begin with.

"Yeah" I sighed to myself, trying to scramble the thoughts in my head.
I recalled everything that happened today.

I failed the test again even if I tried my best.

My mother scolded me; my father beats me up.

My classmates beat me up for being a wimp.

The girls avoid me, thinking I attract trouble.

I am just a victim of my own failures, just a domino effect,

Maybe if I had passed the test, none of it would’ve happened.
Maybe if my best was actually good enough…
But my best is just mediocre at best. And there’s nothing I can do about it now.

I tried. But trying doesn’t mean succeeding.

I suffered. But suffering doesn’t mean I’ll be rewarded.

Maybe I went through all of this, to realize one thing.

Life happens.

and it is up to me to pick up something from the cards that was dealt to me that day and add that to my deck.

Maybe if I were just a little stronger, people would look up to me,
Maybe if I were just a little smarter, people would respect me,
and maybe
If I were just a little bit faster,

I can outrun the nightmares in my head.

These thoughts linger, as I close my eyes.