Worst Day Of My (Former) Life

"I'm breaking up with you."

"What?" my voice cracked in disbelief.

My girlfriend, whom I had only dated for the past four months, sat in front of me across the table on our brunch date, and uttered the words I wasn't prepared for. Because up until this moment, everything seemed fine.

Ever since I was little, I wanted to share a life with someone. At first, it was a best friend I wanted, because sharing your interests with another is the best feeling in the world. As I grew up, so did that desire to connect. To care deeply about someone and know they feel the same way about you is a beautiful thing. Once I turned twelve, I was already imagining what the menu for my wedding would be and what music I'd play for the reception.

Sadly, I was pitifully unfortunate in the finding a best friend or a girlfriend department... at least one that would stick around long enough. I couldn't tell if it was a personality thing or bad timing, because I didn't think I was bad-looking or awkward beyond belief.

I never had the Abercrombie bod or the Ryan Gosling charm, but as a classmate who was a fashion-design major at my college once said, "With the right outfit, you're about an eight and a half on a good day."

Now and then, I'd strike up the courage that I've built up from the past month to ask a girl out. When they say yes, which is a fair amount because of the number of times I've done this, the date that follows goes well for the most part.

The date itself is always the one thing I'm most certain of, thanks to the meticulous planning I undertake to find the right place and ensure maximum enjoyment for both of us. And you bet your ass I come prepared with multiple failsafes and backup plans for any scenario that might occur.

And no, I'm not a ladies' man, I'm just that desperate. What else is a hopeless romantic to do but scour the earth until they can find the one they're meant to be with?

My current girlfriend was the classic cute girl behind the counter at the local cafe. Ever since she started working there, I couldn't stop looking at her. My heart would fluster when our eyes would meet, and her laugh would knock me out before my order was ready. You know, like all the pop-rock, love songs would be sung about thousands of times. Pretty soon, I was no longer going to the cafe for the coffee.

After a month of several one-minute conversations, I would wait for my order, and I gathered all the courage I had to ask her out on a date. Of course, I had been planning this for weeks with various failed attempts to find the perfect moment or cool one-liner I would hit her with. And could you believe it- she said yes.

"I just don't think it's going to work out between us."

My flashback was brought to a halt by the grim reality that lay before me.

"What's- why? Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"It's not what you do, it's..." my not-so-much-girlfriend stammered.

"It's what? Is it how I dress or how I talk?"

"I'm sorry, Damien. I have to go."

Slightly embarrassed, my ex grabbed her things and stood from the table, in a hurry to leave. Just before she was about to walk away from my life for good, I reached for her hand to get her attention. It wasn't forceful, but her head spun back quickly.

"I'm not asking for you to stay, but if you can just tell me what it was that I did, it might bring me some closure. Please," I begged.

She hesitated for a breath of a moment, as if she was sparing me from an insult not to hurt my feelings. "It's just... You were always trying so hard to be everything I needed... I felt suffocated."

What?

"I just wanted to make you happy," I replied.

"When you look at me with those eyes, like I was the answer to your life... it was too much. I just wanted a boyfriend, not to be someone's purpose."

"I'm sorry. I didn't intend to pressure you with anything. I can turn it down. We can take it slower. Just tell me what to do and I'll fix it. And if it's me, I'll do it."

"You're not broken, Damien, you just can't expect others to fill the hole in your heart."

"Isn't that what love is?"

"Not for me. Love is mutual, for one thing. And it's not the answer to everything."

She pulls away slowly and begins to meander to the exit of the restaurant. Before she left earshot, I said something a bit cold but blunt that I couldn't filter out in time. "You're wrong."

By the time my food arrived, it no longer seemed appetizing. I left cash on the table, enough for the bill and tip, and stormed out of there.

Once I got to my apartment, I gathered my backpacking gear and headed to the nature reserve outside of town.

The wind picked up and struck my face with cold waves of force, knocking me off my train of thought, but really it was the scene of the breakup replaying in my mind like an inescapable nightmare. My feet came to a stop as I arrived at my destination. A hidden scenic overlook at the edge of the town that borders a dense forest. When I need fresh air or want a break from the world, I retreat to this favorite spot of mine, where I unwind by hiking the trails within the woods and enjoying the wilderness.

It's not big enough to be a national park, but calling it a nature reserve is an understatement. Looking out from the start of the trailhead, you couldn't tell that this was near anywhere humanity had touched.

It might've been the outdoorsy side of me, but I felt more alive than I did out in the "real" world. There was freedom, chaos, adventure, and no rules or borders to control my destiny. Like a game, standing here, this world was calling to me to begin my story. However, the reality was that this was an empty forest, and back home in society was "the real world."

Then it hit me. My ex, this pain, my dull college experience, this plan to live a boring life with a job I don't even want, and every failed attempt I've pursued to find "the one." All of it leads nowhere. I was so sick of it. My jaw clenched so hard my teeth were about to give in and crack.

"I'm done with this world! I quit! Isn't there more to this? I could bear it all if I just had one thing! One wish is all I ask!" I futilely pleaded to the heavens. "Someone, somewhere out there... who loves me. Please, just one chance."

The air hung in silence awkwardly. Even though I was alone, that monologue made me cringe with embarrassment. It gave off the same feeling when trying to fly as a kid by jumping off the ground as hard as possible.

But that's how childishly naive I am. Sure, a partner won't fix all my problems, but going through the shitshow that is life is better done with someone than alone.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changed, and my senses seemed to notice.

Woah.

An immediate uneasiness filled my stomach like butterflies as I lifted my head toward the sky. Clouds started to gather unnaturally fast, followed by the whistling of the wind. I was at a high altitude, nowhere near a mountain peak, but close enough to see the weather shift rapidly. Knowing the dangers of mountainous climates, I booked it back towards the road.

The howling wind, doing its best now to slow me down, shook the trees surrounding me. The closest shelter was a convenience store, just a short distance away. I sprinted like a madman as I could no longer hear my footsteps from the rising storm. Something was bothering me, though… where's the rain or thunder?

BOOM!

Gravity seemed to have stepped away for a second, for I was flying through the air from what felt like an explosion. What I felt next was the hard pavement slamming into my face. My body was cold and aching, yet my face was now burning hot. Skin had been scraped off my face, and I was scared to learn how much. My ears were deafened, now only hearing a high-pitched hum drowning out every other sound.

"Aghhh," I groaned.

With the air knocked out of my lungs, I started to hyperventilate. My desperate reaction was followed by more pain. This sensation jabbed at me from the inside with rhythm. My ribs were broken in. I don't know how many, but it was enough to make each breath hurt.

Trying to stand up, I slowly turned around to see what had struck me. To my surprise, I saw a black crater broken into the road. A humongous lightning strike must have just missed me, and its impact had somehow sent me flying through the air.

Wait, that doesn't sound right.

Lightning- doing that? It felt and looks more like a missile landed here. My mind quickly tried to prioritize the severity of the situation over the realism of lightning bolt physics.

I was now on my knees, facing upright, attempting to reach into my pocket to make a call for help. Just as I did, my hearing began to return, along with a crescendoing roar coming down the road.

Ahead of me, where the road corners away from sight, a large truck raced right at me. Too late to prevent anything, the truck blared its horn, braking and swerving as hard as it could. My body moved faster than I could think.

"GAH!"

My feet sprang me headfirst into dirt on the side of the road, away from danger, now greeting me with another wave of unimaginable pain. A giant "whoosh" flew behind me, and the truck's droning horn faded. I escaped death yet again. 

Not today, "truck-kun."

Flipping around to face the sky with my frail arms, I gave myself a second to recuperate. The event that had just occurred was too much in such a short time for my mind to catch up. Everything about this felt personal somehow. It was just unfair. What did I do to deserve this? Life was fading from me, and my vision started to blur.

"I can't die yet. I haven't done anything. I haven't… lived," I grunted, fighting to stay conscious.

Contradicting what I had pleaded earlier before this incident, I wasn't ready to leave this life. Sure, it was empty and unhappy, but it was life. My life - my depressing, lonely, unfulfilling life. It was mine and unfinished, nonetheless. Now that the forces of nature were attempting to take it from me, I fought for a hope that could lead to happiness. 

If I tried again, I knew I could do it. I can find true love and make a difference in this world.

Little did I know that fate wasn't finished with me yet. The wind came to a halt, and the sky brought forth another attack of blinding light straight down to me. I flung my arms in front of my face to block what I had left of a body.

CRACK- BOOM!

And then… There was nothing but white.