Chapter 1:

In Another World My Satyr Wife Gets Hungry

Hooves, Horns & Wine: Escaping With My Satyr To Another World


Before them stretched a valley unlike anything they had ever seen.

Giant trees grew with spiral-shaped branches, bearing leaves as big as sails. A river delta wound through the valley, glittering like liquid crystal in the bright sunlight. Somewhere not far off, a faint salty breeze hinted at an unseen ocean with wisps of mist floating skyward.

On the broad meadows, huge lizard-like creatures grazed, their muscular bodies covered in shimmering scales shifting from green to turquoise. From time to time, they flicked out long tongues to snatch up fist-sized insects buzzing around their horns, letting out trilling noises that sounded like laughter.

And far in the distance, snow-capped mountains loomed. Tiny specks circled between the peaks, although those “tiny specks” had to be enormous creatures if they were visible from so far away. From cracks in the rocky slopes, white steam billowed like hidden geysers.

Beneath Lucius and Melissa’s feet, the ground was soft and blanketed in lush grass. Strange plants grew everywhere, tall stalks topped with blossoms shimmering in a metallic color. Even the air itself seemed to hum faintly. Lucius inhaled deeply. It was cool, fresh and oddly calming.

Ahead, nestled in a hollow of the valley, lay a village, connected to them by a narrow cobblestone road. Smoke curled lazily from crooked rooftops covered in wooden shingles. Narrow alleys wound among timber-framed houses. Towering above them all was a single stone building with two great towers, each topped by fluttering banners bearing a symbol: a gauntleted fist flanked by two crossed swords on a white field.

Where the road split toward the village, wooden carts trundled past, drawn by all manner of creatures.

Humans in simple clothes, looking like they could’ve stepped out of Lucius’s world. Reptilian folk in shining armor. Elven people with sharp ears. And even beastfolk covered head to toe in fur, reminiscent of Melissa, but with wilder, more entirely animal features.

Lucius had once imagined his life would be simple. A small house near the forest. A quiet job. Time to read his books. Instead, he now stood on the brink of a completely new world, beside a woman who had horns, hooves, and the lower body of a goat.

Melissa.

The maenad from the realm of Dionysus, whom he’d accidentally summoned. The woman he’d fallen hopelessly in love with, the same woman he’d stolen from her very god.

And who was now glaring at him, her long ears twitching impatiently.

“Lucius. Are you even listening to me?”

His grey-blue eyes blinked. The wind whispered through his tousled, brown hair.

“Huh? Uh… yeah. Of course,” he answered.

Melissa pointed toward the village.

“So… what do you think?” she asked. “Shall we go check it out? Maybe there’s an inn. A bath. Or food that doesn’t taste like honey. I swear, if I have to taste honey one more time, I’ll scream.” She stuck her tongue out dramatically.

Lucius followed her gaze. The village looked small, but bustling with life.

“Besides,” he said, “we should probably find out where the heck we even are… and whether there are any obsessive gods lurking around here, like in your world.”

Melissa broke into laughter, tossing her hair back. Then she slung an arm around his shoulders with a big grin running across her face.

“I’ve got no clue, Lucius. But I figure… it’ll be fun finding out together.”

And so, the two of them started down the gentle slope, following the road toward the unknown village.They strolled through the town, their eyes darting around, brimming with curiosity. Everywhere there was something interesting to see. Market stalls displayed wares of every kind: clothes, jewelry, exotic ingredients, potions in dazzling colors, wooden crafts, fine fabrics and even armor and weapons.

Lucius paused in front of a stall filled with colorful vials, instantly reminded of his very first summoning in his old basement. A vendor was demonstrating a formula right at that moment. He took a sip from a tiny flask, raised his hand, and shouted:

Animor Ignar!

A fist-sized orb of pure light formed above his palm, humming and glowing so brightly that Lucius had to squint.

“Incredible…” he murmured. “They actually have real magic here.”

But Melissa waved it off. “Pffft, just cheap parlor tricks. I used to borrow a few potions from Dionysos’s chamber. That was real magic! You should’ve seen Silenos’s face when I ...”

Suddenly, she froze. Her nose twitched, sniffing the air, and her eyes flew open.

“What is that scent?!”

Before Lucius could say a word, she bounced away between the market stalls, coming to a sudden halt at a crossroads. Lucius hurried after her.

“What did you smell that made you run off like that? Is there...”

“A FOOD MARKET!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands and rubbing them together, a devilish glint in her eyes. 

“Ohhh, I’m gonna eat my way through this entire new world!” She whirled to face him. “And just imagine how much better the wine might taste here! Come on, we can’t waste time!”

But just as she lunged toward the nearest food stall, Lucius grabbed her shoulder.

“Hold up! How exactly do you plan to pay for all that? We literally just arrived in this world. The first thing we shouldn’t do is become famous as thieves.”

Melissa’s ears drooped in dismay. She held her stomach.

“…But I haven’t eaten in forever.”

Her stomach growled loudly and Lucius’s stomach promptly joined in, rumbling in sympathy. He gave a sheepish smile.

“Okay… I could use some food too. But I’m sure there’s a way without stealing. Maybe the inn needs someone to wash dishes or something?”

Melissa’s look of disappointment turned to utter horror at his suggestion.

Dishwashing?! Maybe I need to remind you what I told you when we first met: I’m a Satyr, a Maenad! I’m not made for things like that!”

Lucius lifted his hands placatingly. “Hey, relax. I’ll do the job. We’ll figure out something else for you.”

She lifted a skeptical eyebrow, crossing her arms, tapping one hoof impatiently on the cobblestones. “Oh really? And what exactly am I supposed to do in the meantime? Tie myself to a tree and chew leaves while you scrub plates?”

Lucius shrugged. “Well… you could, uh… perform music? Or dance? Maenads are famous for their dances, right? Maybe people would toss you some coins.”

Melissa’s eyes went wide. “I’m not some jester! I’m a daughter of the forest, a servant of revelry and ecstasy!”

Lucius grinned. “Right now, you’re mostly very hungry.”

Melissa pulled a face, but then thoughtfully ran her fingers along her chin. Her ears flicked slightly as she considered.

But before they could settle on a plan, a voice cleared its throat behind them.

When they turned around, a tall man stood there. Weathered face, piercing grey-blue eyes that somehow managed to look both steely and kind. His dark, slightly wavy hair fell in loose strands past his shoulders, and a rugged beard framed his striking features.

Without saying a word, he pressed a steaming, wonderfully fragrant meat skewer into each of their hands.

“You two look hungry. Come on, let me treat you to something,” he said, his voice calm and measured.

While Melissa immediately set upon her skewer with sparkling eyes, Lucius blinked at his own skewer, then up at the stranger.

The man wore battered clothes in earthy tones: a leather tunic, a cloak, sturdy boots. All of it looking like it had weathered countless days and nights of wind and rain. A plain sword hung at his side. Even as he stood still, there was a constant watchfulness in the way he held himself.

“And what do we owe this generous gift to?” Lucius asked warily, still not touching his skewer while Melissa was already gnawing off the last scraps.

The stranger gave a gentle smile. In his eyes glimmered a touch of melancholy, as if he carried some hidden burden, but also a quiet resolve.

“Don’t worry. I mean you no harm. But perhaps we could find a place to talk privately?”

He gestured down the street. Lucius glanced questioningly at Melissa, but she only shrugged, as if to say: Why not?

Finally, Lucius nodded to the man and took a cautious bite of his skewer, which turned out to be so juicy, smoky, and savory that his worries momentarily melted away.

They followed the man toward the inn. As they walked, he said casually:

“By the way… you can call me Marcthain.”

When they reached the inn, it was already bustling with life.

All sorts of figures filled the place. Some sitting alone, brooding over their mugs of beer, others gathered in boisterous groups, arguing loudly. Behind the counter, the rotund innkeeper was busy keeping up with the flood of orders being shouted at him by his hardworking servers.

One of the servers had a body covered in sleek, black fur. Her face and ears were feline, and she possessed a long tail like that of a cat. She wore short trousers ending mid-thigh, a white linen shirt, and a wide apron over it all. With feline agility entirely fitting for her appearance, she darted between tables, delivering food and drinks to the guests.

“Hey, Liviana!” Marcthain called out as soon as she came into view.

Her furry, pointed ears twitched, and in a flash, she zipped over to the bearded man who towered above her.

“Mar!” she exclaimed brightly. “So you finally changed your mind? You’ve just made me the happiest little kitty in the city!”

But he interrupted her, looking slightly awkward.

“That’s… not why I’m here today.”

Her tail drooped for a moment in disappointment, but perked right back up when she noticed Lucius and Melissa standing behind him.

“Are those friends of yours?” she asked curiously.

“Something like that,” he said, clearing his throat. “Is the room upstairs still vacant?”

She nodded wordlessly, still eyeing the two newcomers with her head tilted inquisitively.

“Make sure we’re not disturbed,” Marcthain added, tossing her a coin, which she caught effortlessly. Then he motioned for Lucius and Melissa to follow him.

When they arrived in the guest room, he closed the door at once and simply stared at them for a moment. Lucius swallowed nervously, while Melissa plopped herself down on the freshly-made bed and began bouncing on it playfully.

“So…” Marcthain began slowly. “Which world are you from?”

Melissa immediately stopped bouncing. She and Lucius exchanged a serious glance, then both turned their gaze back to the man.

“How do you know we’re from another world?” Lucius finally asked.

“I saw it,” Marcthain replied, folding his arms across his chest.

“I happened to be returning from the foothills when I saw a brilliant flash of light between the trees near the forest’s edge. And when I got there, I witnessed two worn-out figures leaping out of a shimmering portal. You two.”

His eyes moved steadily back and forth between them.

“Now. I want to know who you are and which world you come from.”

Lucius let out a long, heavy sigh.

“You can call me Lucius. And this is Melissa, my betrothed. And we are from... two different worlds.”

Once more, Lucius and Melissa’s eyes met, and in both pairs glimmered a spark of nostalgia. But also, unmistakably, pain.

“I’m all ears,” said Marcthain, as if patiently waiting for their explanation.

Lucius took a deep breath.

“Basically… we angered a god. And if there’s one piece of advice I could give you in any world, it’s this: Never. Anger. A god.“

And so he told him about the night they fled. 

Corty
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