First Death: The Beginning

I have always been in love with magic.

Card tricks, sleight of hand, illusions, even mentalism and future predictions. I love everything about it.

My mother constantly warned me that I’d be better off doing what I was good at, not what I loved. The only problem with that was I was never good at anything.

I definitely wasn’t a good son to her. Just a constant source of shame and embarrassment.

The final straw was when I stole all her gold jewellery and sold it at a pawn shop so that I could buy myself a crystal ball.

I tried to explain to her that It was a legit mystical item with incredible arcane capabilities.

She just slapped me and cried.

Apparently, she was planning on selling that jewellery to afford the price of rent and her medical bills. My actions resulted in her becoming destitute.

One night, she hopped on a bus heading to the countryside, without me. She must have planned to move back in with her parents or something.

All I know is that I woke up one morning and she was gone.

That was a month ago. I sit here now in my dark, cold apartment. I’m down to my last packet of instant noodles and the eviction notices by the front door are piled up waist high.

But at least I still have my crystal ball. All the magic available in the world right at my fingertips. I’ve just got to figure out how to use it.

I don’t want it to work. I need it to. This is all I have left.

If I can’t learn the arcane arts, then I can’t earn any money, and I’ll have no choice but to be homeless.

The truth is, despite my love, I’m hopeless at card tricks. There is nothing sleight about my sleight of hand and I couldn’t even predict the rain on an overcast day.

I mustn’t lose hope just yet though. I know deep in my soul that I was destined for magic.

Why else would I have been born with this passion, this hunger for it?

Out the corner of my eye, I see the L.E.D clock upon the kitchen countertop.

5 am.

I guess I won’t achieve anything without proper rest. It’ll be afternoon by the time I wake up, but I suppose I don’t have anything planned that I need to wake up for.

Just this. My pursuit of greatness.

I take one last look at my crystal ball, carelessly placed on the floor besides a high-rise window overlooking the city. Its grey cloth cover hangs separately over the back of a wooden chair.

One day I’ll rule the world. I’ll be somebody I swear it.

Even if it kills me.

I feel fatigue suddenly wash over my entire body. I guess it’s time for sleep whether I want to or not.

As I fall into a deep slumber, I sense a disturbance in my soul. An almighty premonition.

I think, tomorrow will be a foggy day.

***

Wait. Why am I floating?

Everything around me is a black void. The hairs on my arms and legs are stood upright yet, I can’t feel the sensation of temperature or air pressure.

It’s like I’m numb to the entire universe.

Suddenly a powerful voice addresses me.

“Child. I have the answers you seek.”

Who is speaking to me right now?

The voice sounds feminine but it’s not like I can hear it properly with my ears. Instead, the words seem to be manifesting directly into my mind. An intense flash of heat in my brain against the cold numbness of existence.

“You can never hope to control magic. It is an impossibility far beyond your comprehension.”

No. That can’t be right. I love magic. There’s no point in being alive without it.

Apparently, the strange voice can read my mind as it replies to my thoughts.

“Well, you’re certainly devoted I’ll give you that. However, the fact remains that you could never be able to gain any influence over my power. You’ll never control magic…

But you can become it.”

Huh? What does she mean become magic?

Does it even matter at this point?

I know that I have no reason to trust this voice but somehow, I know it’s telling the truth. If there is truly a way for me to become magic, then I’ll do whatever it takes.

“Very well then child. The truth is that I need you also. It’s time for a new familiar to be born in my world. In all honesty it’s rather a large overexertion in mana and effort to bring you over from all the way over there but hey, I’ve got a good feeling about you. Consider it a long-term investment.”

Suddenly, I can sense the presence of my body again. There's the feeling of blood circulating, my skin against the air and temperature.

A stifling heat that keeps rising far higher than it should.

“Usually, it’d be a pain to kill you in a different space and time, but it seems, in your foolishness, you’ve already taken care of that for me. That’s fine though. I like my pets a little on the dumb side after all. It makes them cuter.”

Wait a minute. Kill me? I thought she was going to help me!

The heat is almost unbearable now. I wouldn’t be surprised if my skin started to peel off my bones.

“Okay. I guess I’ll be seeing you soon-ish. Do me a favour, try and die with some dignity will you? Crying makes me awfully squeamish.”

***

I’m back in my apartment. What a strange dream that was, it felt so real.

My sight is limited by a grey mist smothering the air. No way. Looks like I predicted right for a change, it is foggy after all.

Hang on a second. Fog shouldn’t be inside. Also, why does it smell so bitter and acrid? I can’t stop coughing.

The heat from my dream hasn’t stopped either and everything looks like it’s being illuminated in an orange light.

Oh, my goodness. It isn’t fog. It’s smoke. I look beside me at my crystal ball, now a blazing inferno.

Crap. I forgot to put the cover on it before I fell asleep. The midday sun must have shone directly onto it and caused this raging fire. It’s not just the crystal ball, everywhere I look the room is covered in flame. I can’t escape.

Did the voice in my dream somehow know that this was going to happen? Why didn’t it warn me?

Not only did I fail in my pursuit of magic, but I’ve also killed myself with it.

They say that there are no do-overs in life but if I had another chance? If I could be born again? I know I’d do things better next time.

I look to the sky, coughing and spluttering on the burning smoke. If God or some other higher power exists then please, help me. Just this once.

In the back of my mind, I can hear a woman’s voice, faintly calling out to me.

Then the world went dark.