Doesn't want to die

She doesn't understand.

Why?

What made her deserve this fate? Why did they hate her so much? Even sending assassins after her like this.

She didn't understand.

After being reincarnated into this other world, she thought her life would change.

She could be happy, unlike the life full of suffering she experienced on Earth. 

 On Earth, her life was nothing short of hell.

The hatred she received, the pain she got from her own parents. She felt as if she lived only to be beaten and cursed. She kept being patient and patient. Praying and praying. She endured and bore all that suffering with patience, convinced that none of this would last much longer with each passing second. Everything would surely end eventually.

She had long stopped rebelling, stopped trying to fix the situation with her own hands. Just waiting and waiting. Staying silent, because she knew that only by accepting everything without doing anything, the suffering she received would slightly lessen.

Unfortunately, until her last breath, she still suffered. The happiness she longed for never came. 

Then she died, at the hands of her own parents. It was an utterly insignificant ending, completely meaningless. In the end, she never understood why she was born. She never understood why she lived in this world.

However, the consciousness she thought would vanish completely slowly began to recover.

She felt her body's movements stiff and hard to control. Unfamiliar sight. Unfamiliar sensations. Everything she saw appeared strange.

Could it be?

She suddenly remembered something. Filled with anxiety and hope, she began to consider what scenarios might have happened to her.

She felt she might have reincarnated.

Is this truly reincarnation? Has she really been born again? What world is this? Is this still Earth or another world?

Various questions filled her. But one thing was certain.

If all this wasn't a dream, maybe...

And slowly, she became more convinced this wasn't a dream. This was reality. She had truly been reborn and was currently just born as a baby.

The clothing and language used by the people around her made her feel this wasn't Earth. This was truly reincarnation. And not just reincarnation, but this was another world.

This was the reward. She was sure… that this was the return for all the patience she had during her life on Earth. The prayer she most often offered had been granted in the most unexpected way. God hadn’t abandoned her. He had listened to all her prayers, and that’s why she was in this situation.

Once again, this was another world. Her parents weren’t in this world. No one from Earth knew about her here.

Because of that… maybe… just maybe…

What she was searching and longing for…

But it turned out this world was crueler to her, more than she could have imagined.

In the end, it was all the same.

Is this really the end? Am I going to die? Once again, without achieving anything?

Her feelings cooled. Once again, Why?

She didn’t understand.

What was the meaning of her life?

Why did she go through all this, even though she didn’t feel she had done anything wrong.

I don’t understand. I don’t understand. I don’t understand.

She refused to accept it all as it was.

She didn’t want to die.

But what she wanted least of all was… to not understand the meaning of her life.

The hatred of the people in her previous world made no sense.

But in this new world, it made even less sense.

She didn’t understand why her family hated her so much, even in this world.

She didn’t understand why the servants in her residence so enjoyed making her suffer.

She didn’t understand why everything she did seemed irritating to those around her.

She didn’t understand why even when she stayed silent, seemed irritate those around her.

She didn’t understand why all the mistakes she didn’t make were always blamed on her.

She didn’t understand why her older brother deliberately blamed her for things she didn’t do.

She didn’t understand why they were happy to see her suffer.

She didn’t understand why her father looked at her with a cold, piercing gaze.

Why?

Why? Why? Why?

Unconsciously, tears streamed from her eyes.

She was frustrated.

She had now given up on finding happiness from the people around her.

She gave up on getting anything from them, even from her new family in this world.

She just wanted them to stop bothering her.

She just wanted them to stop cursing at her.

She just wanted them to stop blaming her. She just wanted them to leave her alone.

She just… wanted to be alone.

Why was it so hard to get something so small?

Why did they send an assassin when she tried to stay away from them?

Didn’t they hate her?

She didn’t remember doing anything that would make her deserve to be hated that much.

Thinking that she might truly die a second time without ever knowing the meaning of her life made something in her heart tremble.

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.

She knew she didn’t have many choices.

No, at this moment she wasn’t making any choice at all.

She moved her body with great difficulty. Trying to get away from her assassins, who looked at her with amusement and disgust.

But she didn’t care. The fact that they hadn’t killed her right away was something she accepted with deep gratitude.

Then, as if realizing what she was trying to do, the assassins quickly took action.

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t care what happens next. Even if my body is broken, even if both my legs and arms are shattered, I don’t want to die now.

She kept moving her body, trying to reach the cliff in front of her as fast as she could.

“Gaaaahh!!”

But just as she had expected, her speed couldn’t possibly match that of the assassins.

A sharp pain pierced her back, stabbed by something sharp.

She bit her lip, holding back the unbearable pain that could have easily made her lose consciousness.

Ignoring the pain, she crawled again toward her goal.

She kept crawling. 

Every movement she made felt like torture.

She knew blood was pouring from her body, but she completely ignored it.

Unfortunately, she stopped right at the edge of the cliff.

She tried to hold on to her consciousness, but her vision slowly faded.

She felt this was the end, right as another sharp stab struck her body from behind.

She had failed. She had died again.

Once more, she realized that her life truly had no meaning.

I… don’t want to die…

Just as her consciousness was about to vanish completely, a burst of light exploded from her body.

She felt it was merely the moment of death … then she completely lost consciousness.