Chapter 2:

Attempt #1-2: Bastet's Flawless Plan

My Polytheistic Dating Experience: That Time The Gods Hijacked My Love Life


After clearing up the misunderstanding with Hephaestus, Bastet and Eros got to work testing out the app.

"Okay, let's open it up."

The app opens into a crimson-themed interface, bordered with hammers and anvils.

"Red? Ugh, I guess some style points had to be lost if we were leaving this up to Heph", Bastet sighed.

"He made an entire app for us free of charge and you're taking issue with the colour of the UI?"

"Style over functionality any day. This red is way too gaudy. At least he kept the logo aesthetic."

The... artistically unique cat's face plastered atop a crude love heart remained at the top of the app.

"There's nothing we can do about it now. Let's have a look at some of the features."

Eros scrolls across the top bar to see the various menu options, each denoted by a logo. A logo with a sword plunged into fire appears on the far right.

"Hm, what's this one?"

Bastet paws at the screen, revealing a selection of various forges, firepits and furnaces, each with their stock availability, price and location presented in neat text beside them.

"Hot Kilns In Your Area!? Why does it feel like we've opened up some sort of malicious pop-up..."

"That's the price we have to pay for outsourcing, I suppose."

"It looks like he put more effort into this part of the app than the rest of it."

"That's advertising for you. Anyway, let's see how the other options function."

Closing out of 'Hot Kilns In Your Area', Bastet peruses the catalogue of other options. An admittedly limited catalogue.

"Okay, I think this one here is the one we want. The one that installs it into his phone."

Tapping it, a text input menu appears. Eros chimes in.

"We should enter it in Japanese just in case."

"Got it."

komiya satoshi

"Um..."

"What? That's Japanese name order, isn't it?"

"I meant as in using Japanese text."

Bastet flicks through the different keyboard settings on her tablet.

"Does it look like I have a Japanese keyboard option? It's Demotic Egyptian, demotic Greek, Latin alphabet or nothing. I can't believe humans chose that cruddy Latin alphabet as the most popular one, anyway. What was wrong with hieroglyphs?"

"I think a similar logographic writing system to hieroglyphs is quite popular with humanity at the moment."

"Yeah, let's not get into that."

"We might need to use it if we want to communicate with the Satoshi boy. It's particularly popular with children his age."

"You think we could try hieroglyphs?"

"No."

"You suck."

"Do you want my help or not?"

"...Maybe. Look, we don't need Japanese text anyway, this'll work."

Bastet enters the name, and a map appears, which gradually zooms in on a number of pins spread across Japan.

"See?"

"Be thankful we weren't looking for him 200 years ago. And please, at least use capital letters for his name..."

"Well, we're not, so shut up. And grammar is overrated. You mind checking whereabouts the kid is? I haven't a clue where anything is in this country. It's got nothing on Egypt's pleasing square-ness. This place doesn't even have The Nile to show you where all the biggest settlements are."

She errantly wiggles her finger across the map, checking the different pins.

Eros wanders over to the electronic scroll strewn across the coffee table that Bastet was using to observe Satoshi. He pinches the screen to access 'free-camera mode' and moves outside the school to read the sign.

"Osekkai High School, Shizuoka."

"Where did you learn to read Japanese?"

"There are representations of me across the world, I think it's only fair that I learn the languages of the people that still remember me, even outside of Greece."

"Yeah, well, we're not all as lucky as you to keep our fame."

"There are some people in Japan that still recognise you."

"Really?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, it's as a result of your name being attributed to... if I remember correctly, an electrical outlet that makes people magnetic."

Bastet's glee sinks, her ears drooping.

"Great. Just great. I think I'm better off just being remembered in Egypt if that's the international exposure I get. Shizuoka, you said? I've found him."

"That's him. Satoshi Komiya, age 17. So, are you re-"

Her finger was already pushed down on the install button.

"What? I didn't see any reason to wait now that we've found him."

"There was always the option to trial the app's functions first."

"Screw that, apps are supposed to be intuitive, I'm sure we'll figure it out as we go."

"If you say so. The next step is to await the installation and then we can begin our contact."

"Hehe, I can't wait to see the look on this kid's face when he finds out he's talking to two deities. He'll probably think he's the special chosen one or something and do exactly as we say."


-june-
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Yanagi
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