Oh No, Oh Yes

“Dude…”

This was the sixth time Taku called him.

It’s not like his voice was muffled. It was loud and clear, annoyingly so. It was funny to ignore him at first. Teri needed to be serious after all. He was the one at the front. If they encountered any enemies, whatever they were, he would be the first to take a crack at it. It was the same the other way around. If a monster encountered them, Teri would be the first one to get attacked—worse, to get his ass kicked.

“Dude.”

Teri took a deep breath as he kept walking with Taku’s shadow creeping behind him.

“Dude.”

The starting area had four exits.

“Dude…”

There was a door on the northern side of the room, an open corridor to the west, a door on the southern side, and a large, menacing path in the east. Both of them decided to check the path in the east first, believing it to be the safest. They also did it for the memes. Taku said so.

Teri didn’t ask what the meme was. He was not sure what a meme was exactly.

Maybe… Taku was just messing with him.

“Dude…”

They were four meters into the corridor now. The scent of roses and ink was stronger here, too pleasant and overpowering. The echoes of the roses back in the middle of the starting area seemed louder.

He didn’t feel any wind. But the air in this corridor contained a weird thought. It seemed to suggest that something was watching and that they should walk properly, their heads facing forward and their backs straight. Its whispers seemed to be accompanied by a faint… slow… deranged out of tune and rhythm… sound of school bells. It forced him to be aware of his own breathing, to fear it might be his last

“Dude—”

“Yeeeees?” Teri sweetly dragged his words as if Taku wasn’t about to drive him insane. He stopped counting after the eight, believing that he’d crash out if it got to ten. The ikemen graffiti splattered along the stone walls of the corridor seemed to look at them, their eyes gleaming as if they were mocking him. “Notice anything important?”

“So, I’ve been thinking. Cats have an average of six to eight nipples, right? Does that mean an anatomically correct cat girl should have at least three pairs of boobs? Like, what would their bras look like? It’s hard to imagine. And the weight. Oh! The weight—”

“Bro…”

It wasn’t important.

Teri kept walking forward.

Taku kept himself in Teri’s shadow.

“I know right! Like can a humanoid, essentially us, even handle the weight of having six to eight fully-developed boobs?” Taku’s nose was flaring. His eyes burned with curiosity. “I THINK NOT! But yeah… now that I’m thinking about it, maybe that’s why cat girls in popular media only have a pair. Boobs are great, after all. Not only does it make it so that catgirls in popular media can be attractive to us humans, it’s also much less to think about.”

Developed. Teri faced forward, his body a statue and his face frigid as ice. He filled his lungs with air smelling of Taku’s sweat and body spray and let his breath escape through his gritting teeth, almost like a whisper.

His urge to turn and punch Taku was too strong and must be killed. But Teri would also be lying if he said that he didn’t appreciate it.

It wasn’t the cat girls.

Teri didn’t hate them, but he didn’t like the idea of them either. He had seen people dressed as cat girls in one of the establishments they protected. It was a one-time thing. Masato and Taro enjoyed them, and they wouldn’t stop talking about where the tail went when they visited him in the hospital.

Remembering it brought a bad taste in Teri’s mouth.

Taku made Teri almost want to pull his hair out while screaming like a banshee. But what Teri appreciated, after all, was being reminded that Taku would rather talk about something stupid than stab him in the back. With everything that had happened and everything he’d been thrown into, having another man at his back was a big ask.

“Hold up, Teri.” Taku clapped his shoulder, stopping him. Then, he took out a spool of rope from his makeshift backpack. Attached on one of its ends was a rock. “The corridor is wide, so it shouldn’t be booby-trapped. But that also means that there could be monsters on the other side. So, here’s what I’m gonna do.” He pointed Teri toward the corner. “I’m gonna throw this rock into that corner. It will call the attention of the others on the other side—if they’re there— and we’re gonna jump on them. I’m ready to throw it whenever, so you give the signal.”

“Got it.”

Teri took his stance with a deep breath, becoming unnerved and aware of how his lungs filled itself with air. Then he exhaled, shifting his focus past the graffiti of pretty boys handing him flowers, gripping his shield and weapon tight.

It felt awesome that he managed to fashion himself a tough rectangular shield out of those chests. Though he was more proud of his weapon. It was an improvised “tool” made by him, yours truly. Cheap. Easily made. A whack to the head would surely send someone to the ICU or straight to heaven depending on how good the hit was. He grinned ever so slightly at the thought of feeling it digging into flesh.

He was finally relaxed.

Good.

The monsters beyond the corner, if there were, would die a painful death.

“Go, Taku.”

Taku nodded, took three little steps forward, and chucked the rock into the corner. The rock slapped and bounced against two stone walls before hitting the ground. As expected the rocks’ sharp clicking sound reverberated throughout the corridor even before it made its landing. Nothing happened. There was nothing waiting for them around the corner

Taku winked at Teri, smiling and proud of what he just did.

This bitch. Teri helped Taku make that contraption since he didn’t know how to properly tie a knot. He made their backpacks too. But still. He was not bad enough to deny a win from his friend.

Taku licked his lips. He dragged the rock back, respooled the rope, and shoved it in his backpack in one fine, stylish motion. Taku pumped the air the moment he realized his little stunt worked. And once his friend snapped back to reality, Teri raised his shield and pushed past the accursed corner.

The corridor, after making that left turn, didn’t take them far.

They encountered a pair of towering metallic doors, each having their respective keyhole. A man wielding a massive two-handed sword was carved on the left. On the right was a woman clutching a crimson staff crowned with a bell strangled in thorny vines. A knight and a witch. Both doors were adorned with rose carvings and then drowned in graffiti—not with ikemen this time but with words.

“Don’t look. No. No peeping. Close your eyes. Cover your ears. Pretend like it didn’t happen. You saw nothing…” Teri muttered, letting out a chuckle as he relaxed. “Looks kinda fucked up. Very pretty, though. Colorful.”

“Man… Who the hell designed this dungeon? Motherfucker put a boss right right next to the starting area. But… then again… It kinda makes sense? No monsters should spawn here. We can relax. And look…” Taku seemed like he was about to lose his shit, but he was able to calm himself down. He pointed Teri to the carvings on each door and their respective keyholes. “The one who made the dungeon was at least decent enough to leave us with clues,” Taku continued with the flattest tone. “It’s standard procedure. Lazy, yes. But serviceable. We’ll fight two sub-bosses for two keys. Then, we use them here. The door opens. Then boom, big boss fight. If we win… we’ll get to move forward.”

“That simple?”

“Kinda, but it’s hella tough from here on out.” Taku wiped the sweat off his face and led Teri back to the starting area. “We got what we need here. All that’s left is to explore the rest of the dungeon to find better items. We’re going to need a bigger party too.”

It was comforting to know that the air in the starting area didn’t change. It felt safe enough for Teri to let the tension in his shoulder go. A laugh escaped his lips. He couldn’t believe it himself that he’s finding the area even more peaceful, even with the thought of roses being too inviting, whispering for him to drop everything and roll over them like a pig.

“A girl would be nice, yeah.”

Teri squinted. He refused to look at his best friend as they moved toward the middle of the room. “Is this the harem thing… again?”

Taku’s head snapped at him, his eyes beaming like he was eagerly waiting for Teri to ask the very same question. “It would be perfect. We’ve already got the silent, jaded badass who’s never on board with anything. Then, you have a bright, cheery individual who radiates some kind of energy that all the girls are probably gonna fall for. The third member, who’s going to be a girl, will balance that out. I could be the best friend type. We can be sure that she’ll fall for you first because you’re so cool and brooding. But when she realizes that she can’t get through the darkness in your heart, that’s when I’ll jump in!” Taku moved his hands around at almost every syllable to drive his point home. “If there’s no one else flying solo, we can just share what we know to other parties and work with them. I’m sure it’ll sort itself out. It’ll be cool.”

Teri chuckled. He was sure that it wouldn't sort itself out. But Taku didn’t need to hear that right now. “But what if the girl actually got through the darkness in my heart and we fell for each other?”

“I didn’t imagine you to be such a romantic.”

Taku pointed Teri to all the other exits in the room. Teri shrugged and directed them on the northern exit. He was going to say that he’s going to do it for the memes, but he didn’t even know what a meme was exactly, and at this point he was too afraid to ask. At least, Taku shrugged as well and gave him two thumbs up. After a moment of silence, they started moving northward, with him at the front and Taku at the back.

“But if that’s the case,” Taku sighed, “then fuuuuuuuuck me. I’m not gonna win against you. I may be more attractive. My charisma may be brighter than the sun, but I don’t have the vibes. But that’s okay since the faster you get into a relationship, the better it is for me. But the third person being a girl is not a requirement though. We really do need some extra hands. At least two more people if we were to challenge a sub-boss—and that is if we’re strong. At worst, we may just as well join another party.”

Taku skipped ahead and examined the northern door. He checked the hinges and made sure that it was unlocked before spending the next five minutes tapping around it with his hands. After all that ritual, he gave Teri a thumbs-up paired with a very confident but unconvincing smile.

“The door's unlocked. Opens inward. Not trapped—probably. For the other side though? I dunno.”

Teri’s right eye twitched. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, man!”

Teri rubbed the back of his head, weirded out that he didn’t feel bad about grinning like an idiot. “So, how do we do this?”

“That’s easy.” Taku put his hand on the doorknob. “You just have to open it slightly, hug the walls to be out of harm’s way, and push the door open—”

Teri’s eyes snapped open.

It was a waft of air that smelled of fresh blood. Before he could conjure another thought, he found himself grabbing Taku’s hand to stop him from opening the door. Fuck. Teri feared for his life.

Something was on the other side of this door. It was waiting. Teri felt cold, freezing. And yet it felt like he was burning at the same time.

The second the door welcomed the smell of the “outside” world, it felt like he was being violated by thoughts. Sadness. Regret. Rage. The air smelled of paper, ink, roses, and raw meat—like an old butcher’s shop. Teri’s eyes widened, his lips showing the beginning of a smile.

“You okay?” Taku asked, his face getting more worried by the second.

“Hey, Taku…”

“Yeah?”

Teri let out a weak chuckle. “By some chance, do you remember a group of people walking through this door?”

“Yeah,” Taku replied, his eyes slowly losing its gleam. “A party of four… maybe five. Not sure entirely about the number. But a group of people definitely walked through here.”

“They might be dead…”

Taku swallowed. He glanced at the door and back at him, forcing himself to wear a brave but curious smile. “Then when are you smiling, you sick son-of-a-bitch?”

Teri gritted his teeth, biting down a chuckle just when it was about to escape. “I’m starting to see why you find dungeons fun.”