Gambling in Craps (Part 1)

Mayor Rolland, Rollnaldo, and I made our way to the center of Dice Town. The other dice people loomed a distance away, watching nervously.

“You came sooner than expected. I assume that means that you've come up with the funds?” Sir Crapington gave an arrogant smirk as he sat up on the town's well. Standing Idly beside him were two of his slotomatons.

“N-no I brought this gamblord here instead.” Mayor Rolland nervously stammered, refusing to make eye contact.

Sir Crapington raised an eyebrow. “You're bartering this gamblord? Not even I would stoop that low.”

Rollnaldo laughed at him provokingly. “That's a good one, but no. This gamblord’s here to take you on in a Gamble Showdown.”

“So, this trouserless chap wants to challenge me.” Sir Crapington shot me an unconvinced look. “Perhaps you should focus on clothing yourself instead of meddling with official government affairs.”

“You know something, Mr. Taxman, those are some expensive clothes you have yourself. I have to wonder if all the taxes you've been collecting have actually been going to the province’s government… or maybe you've been raising taxes on your own volition and skimming a little off the top?” Rollnaldo snarkily pressed him.

A vein in his forehead throbbed, as it seemed that Rollnaldo struck a nerve. “Alright, fine! If this insignificant gamblord wants to challenge me, then let him… But after I finish making a fool out of him, I will ensure that there isn't a trace of this town left. Are you really sure that's what you want, Mayor?”

Partially hiding himself behind my leg, the Mayor defiantly nodded at him. “Y-yes, you've taken advantage of our town for too long.”

Sir Crapington stood up from the well he was seated on and stood directly in front of me. “Alright then, trouserless gamblord. Are you absolutely sure you want to commence with this Gamble Showdown?”

“Sure, I guess so.” I reluctantly responded. Admittedly, I still wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. Every moment I was in this world, things only seemed to get stranger.

“Very well, since you are the challenger, I get to choose the game.” Snapping his fingers, about a dozen more slotomatons appeared from the other side of a tall sand dune. In an open area beside the town, they began hauling around a number of large wooden panels, constructing them into the shape of a large walled rectangular table, which was about 20 yards long. Within a matter of minutes, they assembled what appeared to be a giant craps table. “I'll have you know that I'm one of the best craps players in the entire kingdom. Don't think I'll be going easy on you.”

“Oh… this isn't good.” I whispered to Rollnaldo.

“What's wrong?” He muttered back.

“The thing is… I don't actually know how to play craps.”

Back in Las Vegas, when I attempted to play, I wasn't entirely sure how the game worked, so I sort of just threw some chips down on the table. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best idea, since I lost two thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

“Fortunately for you, as a dice, I know the game of craps fairly well. I'll coach you through it.” Rollnaldo reassured me.

Sir Crapington’s slotomatons boosted him up onto the side of the giant craps table. He proceeded to speak down to us. “Since I want to keep this little game brief, the rules are as follows: both of us will start out with three chips. With those chips, you can bet on whatever you want, but you must bet at least one chip before each roll of the dice. We'll play three rounds. If either of us busts before the end of the last round, that person automatically loses. Otherwise, the winner will be the one with the most chips at the end.” His slotomatons proceeded to roll out a set of white car tire-sized casino chips and hoisted them onto the table.

“Is there a ladder or something that I can use to climb up there?” I shouted up to him.

“Mayhaps you should have brought your own.” He snickered at me.

“Who the heck uses the word ‘mayhaps’ anymore?” I murmured under my breath.

Letting out a huff, with both Rollnaldo and Mayor Rolland on each of my shoulders, I began my ascent up the ten foot tall side of the giant craps table. As I reached the top, my face was red and covered in sweat. I breathed heavily, trying to catch my breath. “Is it really necessary for this thing to be so big?”

“Of course, you can't expect someone of my status to play on a regular sized table.” Sir Crapington scoffed. “All we need now is a set of dice to play with…” He looked out toward the distance where the group of dice citizens were observing from. “Slotomatons, bring me all of this town’s citizens and line them up.”

The slotomatons responded to his order with a clicking noise that came from their reels. A group of three of the robots gathered up the townsfolk and brought them up onto the side of the table.

“Hm, which ones should I choose?” Sir Crapington inspected them one by one.

“Wait, please don't bring them into this.” Mayor Rolland spoke up.

“So it looks like you're volunteering then.” He pointed at the slotomaton nearest to us. It proceeded to shove Mayor Rolland down onto the craps table. “I still need one more though.” He went up and down the row of dice people, who all stared back at him with fear in their eyes. Finally, he stopped in front of Rollo, the town baker.

“Please, I promise that I'll bake you the best cupcakes you've ever tasted.” Rollo attempted to plead.

“Your hat annoys me.” Sir Crapington snapped his fingers. His robots grabbed Rollo and threw him into the game area.

“Better them than me.” Rollnaldo remarked, not seeming to have any sympathy for his fellow dice people. Considering they locked him up in jail over some knock-off merchandise, I could kind of see where he was coming from.