Verse 7: "That Weight"

“Fine; but if I’m missing anything at the end of the day, I’m alerting the authorities and telling them everything I know about you.” Niels said sternly. “And in return, I don’t want to see you here again for at least another month.” He clenched his fist.
          “I understand, Niels.” Vivian replied, a little upset. She stepped away from the bar and sat at one of the tables, pulling her cloak and hood over her head.
          Niels looked at me from his spot behind the bar and visibly relaxed.
          “Vivian tells me you’re a wizard who needs a few lessons in history?” He smiled casually. Once he spoke directly to me, I snapped out of my thoughts about prayer.
          “Y-yes. I am woefully uneducated with regards to history.” I tried to sound as wizardly as I could. “Dedicated all my time to the magical arts, you see.”
          “Don’t worry about it. A lot of people don’t know about history. If you worked where I do, you’d realize that some people even forget their own history.” He gave an angry side-eye at Vivian. She didn’t seem to notice.
          “What do you know about, Mister…” He waited for me to answer.
          “Shinko Inori. And you are Niels…” I waited for him to answer.
          “Niels Ivyheart.” 
          The drunken woman snapped her fingers and Niels served her another drink.
          “Now, I’m not a scholar, so I can’t charge you for lessons.” Niels smiled playfully. “But I can charge you for drinks. What’ll you have?”
          I looked over to where Vivian was sitting. She had her hood pulled over her head and her frame bent down. It looked like she was deep in thought. I leaned over the counter of the bar and gestured for Niels to get closer. He didn’t.
          “I’m an elf. I can hear you whispering from here. What is it?”
          I lowered my voice to where I thought it was barely audible.
          “I… I don’t have any money.” I said conspiratorially. 
          Niels froze, and his friendly demeanor vanished. He was still smiling at me, but it looked like he wanted to punch me in the face.
          “No money? At all?” He said through gritted teeth.
          “M-maybe I could… work off the debt?”
          Niels smiled at me as a vein bulged in his forehead. 
          "Out."
~~~
          Me and Vivian stood outside the tavern. She crossed her arms and glared at me.
          “Why did Niels throw us out? Did you tell him you were a prie–”
          “No, I didn’t say anything about that.” I said as a few people passed us by, including more non-humans.
          “Well then why are we out here?” She inquired, yawning slightly.
          “I don’t have any money to buy drinks with.”
          “What?! You told me you had money!” Any hint of tiredness disappeared from her expression.
          “I-I thought I…” I had an idea. My smile went wide. “One moment please.” I turned around and leaned against the outside wall of Niels’ bar. Vivian tilted her head at me.
          “What are you doing?” She asked.
          “I said give me a moment.” I replied.
          John had told me once that prayers didn’t need to be audible; only that they had to come from a heart that ‘earnestly desired communion with God,’ as if that mattered. I hadn't really been paying attention, because that one had seemed like an especially useless speech. I prayed for me to go back home. I opened my eyes. 
          I was still in a town in a fantasy world, leaning against a tavern owned by an elf with a thief staring at me like I was crazy. 
          I scrunched up my facial features and thought about what I was doing wrong. Had my eyes been closed? Yes. Had I prayed to God? Sure. I didn't understand what I was doing wrong.
          “Are you done looking like an idiot?” Vivian said, unimpressed.
          “For your information, Miss Vivian, I was praying.” I said, trying to sound like I wasn’t confused and frustrated.
          “Anyway, Niels can help you out with your knowledge deficiency once you have the money.” She looked around the streets slowly. “I found you someone who can help, so that’s it for you and me.”
          “W-wait, are you going to leave?” I asked, surprised.
          Vivian hesitantly turned to look at me.
          “Yes? It’s been nice meeting you, but I have… places to go. People to see.” She sounded unsure of what she was saying.
          As I thought about the situation logically, it made sense for her to have to leave. She was her own person, with a life outside of being involved with me. 
          I took a step towards her.
          “Is that so?” I said, trying to sound practical and priestly. “Well. I, uh, I just want to give you a blessing. To say that, I think…” I sighed and collected my thoughts before I made eye contact with Vivian. “If you believe that it is time for you to move on, then by all means, go right ahead. I–”
          Vivian held up her hand.
          “Stop.” She walked past me into a nearby narrow passage between two buildings and gestured for me to follow. I did so and stood next to her. It was a little crammed, but not completely uncomfortable.
          “Listen…” She looked at me with her eyes full of conviction. “I don’t know exactly what it is, but traveling with you and helping you out has felt… strangely fine.” She looked at the ground.
          “What do you mean?” I asked quietly.
          “I haven’t felt that… pull. That weight.” She looked back up at me and her eyes were clear. She put one of her hands on my shoulder and looked down at me with a slightly sad expression.
          “Do you mean guilt?” I asked, confused.
          She nodded reluctantly.
          “It’s been nice not having it hanging over me." She muttered. "I’m afraid that once I leave, I’m going to feel it again.”
          “Why is that?” I asked honestly.
          She took her hand off my shoulder.
          “You know why. I don’t exactly make my living honestly.” She frowned. “Listen. If I keep helping you out, is it okay if I stay for a while longer?”
          I smiled, and a wave of relief mixed with gratitude went through me.
          “Of course you can.” I said calmly. “So can you pay for my drinks?” I asked politely as my stomach rumbled. “And maybe some food, please?”
          Vivian shook her head.
          “Just this once. After that, you’re going to need to get your own money, strange priest.” She turned around and walked back into Niels’ Meals, and I followed her lead.
          I had noticed a slight smile when she'd said that, and I smiled too.

Edited on 09/15/25