Healer

Having the entire town know that I had fallen from the sky had some perks, including the fact that no one knew what to expect from me in terms of skill and knowledge.

Every time I admitted to not knowing how to do simple things like milking a cow or repairing my clothes, someone offered to teach me. I accepted every time, instead of politely declining to try in order to avoid failing; yet another attempt to kill my old habits and the fears that were their foundations. I had been sick of feeling incompetent. Here, I was just a beginner, and sometimes a surprisingly talented one at that.

The first ones to offer me a more formal education were Master Finnigan and Asa. They invited me to Finnigan’s office, or shop, or whatever it was; a small yellow brick building in town, with the inside covered top-to-bottom with shelves and drawers full of, well, everything. I perched on a stool, one of the few seats available in the front room.

“Miss Wish, I don’t want to insult your intelligence with covering the basics of magic, but-“

“Oh please do, the world I come from doesn’t have magic.”

Master Finnigan stopped stroking his beard. Asa stopped flipping through the book he was holding. They stared at me for a solid ten seconds.

In unison, Master Finnigan resumed stroking his beard, now at supersonic speed, and Asa flipped through the book so fast it looked like a blur of pages. They practically shouted at each other.

“Impossible! Maybe they have magic but call it something else?”

“There have been experiments to remove magic entirely from items, some were successful. But a whole world?”

“Are they simply unable to detect it? No, even people with no mana at all can still feel large amounts of magic.”

“Well at that point it would be manifesting in a physical way so of course anybody would feel it, but-“

Again in tandem, they stopped mid-sentence and stared at me, apparently remembering the point of this meeting. Master Finnigan’s beard looked as frazzled as Finnigan himself. He cleared his throat.

“Well then, yes, the basics, erm so everyone has a different sized mana pool and regenerative capacity, though both can be increased with training. Wait, should I explain what mana is? It fuels spells, and-or no, maybe I should start with the different kinds of magic. So there is the magic of living things, then inanimate objects, although we can’t decide what category to put mushrooms in-“

I was already lost, but I didn’t know whether to wait or interrupt and ask for clarification. A memory echoed in my mind.

“Okay, so which part is confusing you?”

“Um…”

“If you don’t ask questions, I can’t help you.”

But I didn’t know what to ask. I didn’t even know how to say that I didn’t know what to ask.

Frustration, more from the memory than the current situation, welled up within me and must have shown on my face, because Asa noticed and interrupted.

“Master, slow down. World without magic, remember?”

It was an oddly victorious feeling, having good reason to be bad at something.

“Yes Asa I know what she said, I was right here when she said it, but how does that WORK?!”

The bell over the door jangled as a customer walked in. Asa acknowledged them with a wave, then responded to his master.

“Tell you what, your curiosity is making it hard for you to teach her, and she can’t satisfy your curiosity until she knows more about magic. Let me teach her the basics, alright?”

“Oh alright, just be quick about it, this is going to keep me up at night!”

Over the next few days, Asa barely left my side, going above and beyond to teach me. I hadn’t realized how much frustration I felt while learning until I noticed Asa nipping my frustration in the bud, lesson after lesson after lesson.

At first I was amazed by his successful efforts. Then grateful. Then…guilty.

He was doing too much for me.

“Hey Wish, can we take a break?”

We were on the guards’ training grounds, sitting on the ground with the wall of the station for a backrest. A large book spread across both our laps. Further out, Eva and Orion cheered on Alexandros and Sigrid as they sparred with wooden swords and shields, with Sirius jumping around excitedly.

I glanced sideways at Asa, but my guilt made it more of a glower.

He laughed. “Uh oh, what did I do to deserve that face?”

“You make it sound like we’re taking a break for your sake, but I know it’s because you noticed I’m distracted. We should be taking a break for your sake though, you’re exhausted from doing all my thinking for me!”

His smile faded. Rats, that was not how I meant to say that.

“Sorry, I mean, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, you’re the best teacher I’ve ever had, I mean that!”

There was an especially loud thunk of wood on wood as Alexandros gained the upper hand. Eva whooped. Sirius barked.

“But…sometimes it feels like you’re trying to make up for every bad or even boring teaching experience I’ve ever had. It’s nice but it’s wearing you out.”

His smile disappeared entirely. He looked thoughtful.

“You’re right, Wish. I’m trying to set you up for success, but I shouldn’t set myself up for failure in the process.”

I stared at him, mouth slightly agape. What just happened? He didn’t seemed the least bit offended. He even said I was right. I barely registered his mutter.

“Hm, what to do about this? We could limit our lessons to a certain time each day, but…”

Memories again arose in my mind, but these were silent memories, because I had learned quickly not to express confusion without a clear question that my teachers would deem valid. Classrooms flashed by, where I raised my hand fewer and fewer times with each passing grade, until I stayed quiet with my head down, hoping the teachers wouldn’t call on me. 

And now I was here.

Asa had already spent multiple days trimming away at my overgrown frustrations, but now one final, deeper knot felt sheared way. I breathed what felt like my first free breath in years as Asa closed the book and stood, calling out to the rest of the group.

“Hey guys? I had an idea. Even though you aren’t mages, you still know a little about magic. Would some or all of you help me teach Wish magic?”