Trial 1.5: The Boy I Left Behind

Sora covers his mouth, feeling uncomfortable.

Sora: It's...Okay. Please continue teaching.

Ms Yamada: Alright, if you say so.

Ms Yamada continues teaching the whole class, while Sora is frozen sitting on the chair, feeling nauseous and hopeless. 

But he can't just give up on the "Trials" like this. There must be a way to pass the first Trial and get out of this time that he doesn't want to stay long in. 

Sora: Unknown reasons... Unknown conditions... Maybe... 

Sora whispers under his breath while thinking hard.

Sora: Maybe I can... Change today's outcome?

It's like those time-traveling movies, where a protagonist has to change their actions, avoiding even the smallest mistake, and altering the outcome. Perhaps it's the same for him? 

Sora: I don't know but... Maybe I can try.

???: Try what? The math question that I'm going through?

Sora slightly jumped after his teacher appeared beside him, calling him, breaking his train of thought.

Sora: N... Nothing...

The same laughter from his classmates and the same sigh his teacher made can be heard.

Ms Yamada: Please, listen in class...

As time passed quickly, it was finally time again after school. And as expected, the 3 bullies are walking up to Sora, just like the previous loop.

Same punch, same statements, same insults, same humiliation. 

I have to try changing the outcome, so that maybe I'll be able to get out of here.

Sora tries to speak up, to raise his voice and say: "Stop it; I've had enough of everything." or something like that. But...

Sora: ...

His voice fails. 

Fear. Despair. Distress. 

With those feelings, Sora cannot possibly say anything; he can't possibly conquer those bullies who made his middle school life a living hell. 

Sora, at that moment, said nothing but quivered in fear.

Ryu: Tryna say something, idiot?

Ryu let go of Sora's collar and yanked his hair, causing Sora to groan in pain.

Ryu: Be a good boy and do your job well, you useless prick. 

Ryu throws Sora to the ground, and all three of them walk away.

SNAP

Sora, as expected, finds himself in the same math class for the 4th time. 

It's most likely changing the outcome at this point. An outcome where I don't keep quiet, and an outcome where I don't run. I have to think of something...

Sora slaps his cheeks a few more times before brainstorming on what to do and to try to counter those 3 bullies while his math teacher was teaching the class. 

As time passes, the time is finally here. As the 3 bullies approached him, this time he stood up and made a fighting stance.

Sora was shaking, but he was determined to change everything at this moment. The bullies smirk as they approach him. Sora yelled and rushed head-on.

Only to lose the fight and trigger the "SNAP " loop again. 

As the loop continues, Sora tries many things. Talking back, making peace, negotiating terms, etc., but none of them worked at all. 

After trying so many things and failing in the process, Sora reached the 10th loop.

Sora's spirit and confidence, which had built up to change the outcome, are slowly breaking down.

What if this isn’t about fixing things? What if nothing I do matters?

Sora asked his teacher for a toilet break, which Ms Yamada reluctantly agreed to. 

Sora:  I can’t take this anymore… I just need… out

Sora mutters under his breath before walking out of the class. 

Sora enters the bathroom and locks himself in it. He starts washing his face vigorously nonstop.

Think Sora, Think Think Think!!! There has to be something...

What other possible conditions are there that he can do to pass? Is the condition not directly about himself and he's own actions but something else instead? 

But at the same time, Sora also can't help but think to himself. 

Sora: Why did the Trials make me face all this again? Why didn't anyone help me?

In a fit of rage, Sora punched the mirror. Cracks spread across the glass, and sharp pieces cut into his hand before falling to the ground.

Sora: Why... Can't I help me?

Just then, the mirror started fogging up, and he looked at his reflection. But something is a bit different. 

His reflection has exactly his 12-year-old features, but it has more bruises on his face, small scratches and cuts on his arms, in a dirtier school uniform. The reflection was getting teary as it spoke.

Sora (reflection): You forgot me... Why?

Sora glances away, with sadness and pain in his eyes.

Sora: Because...

Sora's voice and body start reverting back to his original, 15-year-old state.

Sora: It's painful to remember how helpless I felt after getting bullied, and also ashamed of myself for being weak. It doesn't feel good thinking of all this while crying silently in the bathroom almost every day, telling myself to "Just disappear"...

Sora pauses for a short while as his younger version reflection looks and listens attentively to him. 

Sora: As I grew older, I tried to forget that all this stuff ever happened. From creating Wonderland to shutting myself away from reality inside my room...I don't even want to remember the true reason why I'm doing all this in the first place.

Sora then gets on his knees. 

Sora: I'm sorry. I left you because I thought you were weak. But it's the opposite. 

You are the one who survived. You made Wonderland to protect us.

Sora opens his arms. The younger version of him in the mirror hesitated for a while and ran towards Sora, accepting the embrace. 

As the toilet was dissolving into soft light as they held each other, Sora started shedding tears. 

Indeed, Sora doesn't want to remember who he used to be. 

But he can't heal or grow until he does. He has to love that scared, hurting version of himself, not reject it. 

After the surroundings dissolved into light, the younger version of Sora from the reflection starts to fade away as well. He wiped his tears, with some joy in his eyes.

Sora (reflection): Thank you... For accepting me.

The young Sora is gone. Sora smiled.

Sora: If possible, hopefully... We can meet again.

???: Trial 1 passed. Please head towards the stairs to take trial 2, or the door behind you to exit.

The Trial master announced. Sora wiped off his tears and stood up.

Sora: There's... No going back.

Maybe Sora could go back to rest before taking Trial 2, but Aoki is waiting for him. He has to come back as fast as he can. 

Sora took a deep breath and started walking up the stairs.

As Sora was walking up the stairs, some questions started rising in his mind.

Since Trial 1 is about accepting myself instead of changing the outcome, who is the "Trial" master? Why does he or she want me to accept myself?

But Sora decides to put them aside for now, as the Trial in front of him is tougher than Trial 1, or as tough as Trial 1 at least. 

After Sora reaches the top, He's expecting to reach another plain floor with a door that leads to level 2. But instead--

He's back at the entrance of Wonderland. 

Sora: Wait... Why am I back here... I'm supposed to take the 2nd Trial, right?

But there's no voice telling him anything. As Sora tried to move, he felt a sharp discomfort in both his arms and legs. He observed his arms and realized that there was a string fixed to his hand. 

As he looked up, where the direction of the string, his eyes widened in shock.

Above him, where the strings disappeared into the sky, the clouds broke apart.

A sharp split formed in the sky itself.

Sora took a shaky step back.

Sora: …What the hell…

And then, the strings pulled tight.