Prisoner in a Tie

Haruto’s eyes shot open. He lay on a cold, rough stone floor, wearing only a loincloth and his tie. The air was thick and humid, heavy with the stench of unwashed socks.

“Haruto! You're awake!” the System shouted, floating just inches from his face. “Come on! We have to move!”

Haruto groaned, pushed himself up, and rubbed his head—only to wince and jerk his hand back. The blood was still fresh, but it was drying. His injuries weren't too bad, the worst being the head trauma received from the tree.

The System zipped over to a door of rough iron bars secured with a heavy padlock. They were in a small room lit dimly by a torch, divided into three parts: an entrance and two cells about 8 feet across from each other, with a table between them. The walls were made of rough, chipped stone, with crooked iron bars to make the face of the cells.

"Dude, we have to go!" The System said, panic in his voice. "Unless you want to gain experience in your newest job?"

"What new job?" Haruto rasped.

Haruto spat some blood into the corner of the room and opened his menu. The words "New Job Unlocked: Gob-uh-lin Boy Toy" sent a chill down his spine. As he frantically opened the job, he let out a relieved sigh, seeing that his experience was at zero.

"I can't gain experience in this job," he squeaked.

"Yeah! So hurry up," the System said impatiently.

As Haruto stood, the blood rushed to his head. He dizzily grabbed the iron bars to steady himself. He shook the door a few times, testing its sturdiness. It clacked and clanged a few times but was otherwise solid.

"And how do you suggest we escape?" Haruto asked.

"I can escape anytime I want." The System began to weave in and out through the bars. "I don't know how to get you out, but now we can figure it out together."

"I'm kind of surprised you didn't escape on your own." Haruto held onto the bars, bending forward to stretch his back like a cat.

"Are you kidding me? I need to stay as close to you as possible." The System whispered to the side, almost beneath his breath.

"What, why?" Haruto asked.

"What? I mean... you need me..." The System stammered. "To change jobs! Yeah! If I'm not within, say, 30 feet of you, you can't change jobs."

Haruto's face twisted in displeasure at this new rule. He bent backward to stretch, feeling the muscles in his stomach tighten. Suddenly a notification popped up: "New Job Unlocked: Fan Service Delivery Boy."

A giggle could be heard from the cell across the way. Haruto covered his crotch with one hand and his nipples with another, shrieking in surprise. A figure stirred in the shadows, quickly rushing to the door.

A young woman grabbed the bars, watching him with a thirsty grin. Her messy brown hair hung just above her shoulders, ending in radioactive green tips. Her mischievous eyes shone in the darkness, shifting from green to blue and back again like liquid in a bottle. A bead of drool escaped her mouth as she giggled, looking up and down Haruto's body.

“Oh, don’t stop,” she teased, her laughter trailing into a series of panting breaths. “Go on, keep stretching.”

Haruto flushed red in both sets of cheeks. He closed his eyes, feeling an unwanted rush of blood flow to a specific area as he listened to her breath across the room. He shoved his hormones down, mustering his mental strength.

"Stop breathing like that!" Haruto shouted. "I'm feeling a way!"

“I'm feeling a way too,” the girl said, unabashedly taking in the view. “I'm Aki. How'd you get here?”

"I'm Haruto!" He said, calming his virgin heart. He adjusted his tie and pointed a thumb at his chest. "And I got captured!”

“That's not all you did." Aki continued to stare. “The Gob-uh-lins want to keep you. That's why you're over there and I'm over here.”

"What do you mean?" Haruto asked.

"That's the slave cell. I'm in the food cell." Aki continued to smile. "I should be eaten in about a day or two."

"No fair! You're too pretty to be over there! Switch places with me." Haruto shrieked.

"How about we both escape instead?" Aki pulled two small vials from her modest cleavage. "I'm an alchemist. I have some acid and a healing potion. You use the acid on the lock, then you get the key to my cell, and we get out of here."

"Take the offer, Haruto. We can just leave her here," the System said.

"Do you think I can't hear you!?" Aki began to pull on the bars, rattling them in their sockets. "You try that and I'll make enough noise to call all of them in here!"

"Then why don't you just use it? Escape yourself!? Huh!?" The System flew over to her, pushing himself into her face and smushing her cheek.

"I need a big strong man to protect me!" Aki turned her head, causing the System to fly past and into the wall. "How about this then?"

Aki leaned on her hip, tracing a finger along her leg and over her chest. She leaned forward, plucking at the hem of her shirt. Haruto swallowed hard as he watched her.

"If you get me out of here..." Aki let out a seductive sigh and winked in his direction. "I'll change your life forever."

Haruto, in a moment, saw a future worth fighting for. He could hear bells in the distance as Aki stood in a beautiful white dress. An entire life flashed before his eyes. A life in which he had a wife, kids, and a job that let him live happily.

He posed, trying to look cool. "We have to help her! It's what a hero does!" he said, trying to seem noble, but grinning like a fool.

"You little..." The System flashed for a moment, and a notification pops up in front of Haruto: "New Job Unlocked: Dog in Heat."

"Shut up! I was going to help her before she even offered." Haruto yelled, swiping away the notification window.

"Oh! Then I guess we don't..." Aki started.

"No... You can't take it back." Haruto said flatly, cutting her off before she could rescind her offer.

"Alright, I won't take it back." Aki giggled, sticking her arm through the bars, holding out the vial of acid. "I'll throw it right to you. You have to catch it, okay?"

Haruto reaches through the bars as well, readying himself to catch the vial. "No worries. I've got this."

Aki swings her arm back and forth, counting to three, hoping to sync her and Haruto's movements, and then releases. The vial flies through the air, and time seems to slow. It flips in the air, the liquid giving it momentum, reaching the apex of the throw before coming down.

It's coming right to him. Haruto's chest swelled in anticipation. He was going to catch it! As time began to flow normally, the vial reached its destination. It bounced slightly as it landed right side up, planting itself on the table in between the cells.

Haruto stared unmoving at the vial on the table. He slowly retracted his arm, his face going blank as the reality of failure sank in.

"Well," Aki said meekly, "I think that was a solid try. Good effort, team."

“Your throw didn't even reach me!” Haruto squawked, trying to salvage his dignity. "Were you even trying?!”

The System hovered down to the table, examining the vial. "Wow... Are you sure you don't want to leave her here?"

Haruto stayed silent, unable to keep himself from contemplating the idea. The silence continued for too long, however, with Aki beginning to panic at the length.

"Don't leave me!" Aki cried, tears and snot running around her mouth, creating a goatee of gross. "Please! They'll eat me soon!"

Haruto stared at her as she wailed, rattling the cage. "Stop crying! I'm not going to leave you."

Aki stifled a sob. "R-really? You won't leave me?"

"Everybody shut up! I'm trying to do something here." The System shouted. It morphed unsteadily, nubs forming at its sides before disappearing in a puff of sparkling pixels.

"What are you doing?" Haruto asked.

"I'm trying to make hands to pick up the vial..." The System replied.

"You can make boobs, but you can't make hands?" Haruto asked bluntly.

"I don't think about hands that much..." 

"Oh?" Haruto grinned evilly as he looked down at the System. The System stops short, a pixelated sweat drop falling from it. "Think about boobs often, do you? I'd bet you think of other girly parts too, huh? You want respect? Maybe we should parade you around as the dirty old man you are!"

"I'm sorry for my previous actions, Master Haruto..." The System said, it's voice cracking.

A voice could be heard outside, raspy and high-pitched. The door flew open as a Gob-uh-lin burst in. "Shut up! You're driving me crazy!"

The Gob-uh-lin rushed to the food cage, kicking the door, forcing Aki to let go. He then ran to the other cage, about to do the same, before stopping to look Haruto up and down. He pulled the key from a ring on his waist, unlocking the door and walking in.

"So you're the funny little new toy?" The Gob-uh-lin wheezed, his hot breath washing over Haruto. "You've got a lot of us to entertain tonight..."

The Gob-uh-lin's short stature put his head at just below Haruto's chest. He jumped up, kicking Haruto in the stomach and pushing him to the wall. Haruto slid down, scraping his back and sitting on the dirty stone floor.

"Oh, you're going to be popular around here." It took a step closer. Haruto looked at the open door. The Gob-uh-lin grabbed Haruto's face, forcing his gaze. "Oi! Look at us during! We like eye contact... And you have some real pretty eyes."

"My eyes?" Haruto asked. Haruto focused on the feeling in his eyes, blinking a few times. He hadn't had time to notice. His contacts were gone.

"Oh yeah. You're gonna stand out quite a bit at the party with eyes like those." The Gob-uh-lin pushed Haruto's face away before turning around to walk out of the cell. "Not to mention that pretty little mouth!"

His memories flooded his addled mind once again. Flashes of his teachers accusing him of standing out. His father handing him the contacts. His mother and their sad goodbye. His roiling anger that he kept locked away since he hit his father.

Haruto grabbed the knot of his tie, pulling it undone, wrapping one end around his left hand. Before the Gob-uh-lin could leave, Haruto was on his back, his tie pulled taut against his throat. He rode the Goblin like a bull trying to buck him, tightening his grip with his waning strength.

The Gob-uh-lin was much stronger than his small stature would suggest. In his struggle, he slammed Haruto into the metal bars of the cage, rattling his brain once again. Blood poured from his head, and his consciousness faded for a moment. The Gob-uh-lin felt the tie loosen before Haruto willed himself present again, pulling even tighter.

Haruto twisted the tie around his left arm, keeping pressure on the Gob-uh-lin's throat and freeing his right arm. He came down on the top of its head with his right elbow as it fell backwards, crashing Haruto into the stone wall and scraping his back.

Haruto pushed off the wall, knocking the Gob-uh-lin to the floor. As he stood upon the Goblin, it burbled and choked, drooling on the floor, before it stopped moving completely. Haruto grabbed his tie in both hands again, yanked upward, then stomped on the Gob-uh-lin’s head one last time. With a sickening crack, the Goblins head limply fell to the side, and Haruto retrieved his tie from around its neck.

Haruto fell back against the wall, trying to catch his breath. He swallowed hard as a notification popped up in front of him.

"New Job Unlocked: Blue Tie Assassin."