Murder On The Mind

The trio rolled into a safe house buried deep in the woods of Parco dei Castelli Romani.

Less luxury suite, more off-the-grid log cabin. Big pine beams. Dirt driveway. This time it was John who had found the safe house. It was less of a safe house and more of an old cabin that one of his cousins used to sneak off to when he was with his goomah.

John knew it was empty this time of year. Since they were rogue, they couldn’t really use any of the CIA resources until they came back “on radar”. They parked their stolen van out front, alongside two motorcycles that were extremely expensive.

“Where the hell did you find this place?” Mango asked.

Laz looked back at her, actually surprised. “Really? This is the first time you’ve asked where I get any of my safe houses?”

She shrugged. “That’s actually a good point.”

“This is one of my family’s old hideaways,” said John. “We can reload here. Plus, there’s always two getaway cycles outside should we need them.”

“So where do the others come from?” she added.

Laz and John exchanged a look. Laz shrugged. John cleared his throat.

“We have money,” he said flatly. “We just saved the world, and that’s what you want to talk about?”

Mango leaned back. “Guess not. This was crazy! I feel great!”

She pulled it out and twirled the ring between her fingers, looking at the codes on the inside.

“Especially after tonight.” She smiled faintly. “This might’ve been the best night of my entire life. One of the best heists I’ve ever pulled.”

John stepped out of the van and didn’t say a word. Mango’s smile faded.

She’d forgotten that this wasn’t a win for him. Not really.

The man she loved had just watched his brother fall into the ocean. Mango had no siblings, nothing to compare the weight of that to. She was only beginning to understand what it had cost him.

Her eyes drifted to the side mirror and caught her own happy reflection. It changed, and she bit her lip.

Laz saw her nervousness in the reflection. “He’s fine,” he said. “Don’t overthink it.”

“You sure?” she asked.

Laz nodded. “He better be…er, I mean, he’s a tough guy.”

He held out his hand. “Ring. I’ll copy the codes into something readable.”

“To override and self-destruct it, right?”

“Yeah.”

Mango paused. Something about Laz asking for the ring while John wasn’t around didn’t sit right. Why wait until now?

Then again, maybe she was being paranoid. The mission was over. The world was safe. John had done what he came to do. Maybe now it was just time to pass the baton and move on.

She handed over the ring. “Be careful with it.”

***

Inside the cabin was simple. Minimalist Italian furniture, rustic wood, a scent of old smoke and pine. No high-tech screens. No velvet walls. Just four walls and quiet.

You could still hear the town in the distance, even from this deep in the forest.

John stood in the doorway for a moment, then walked down a hallway without a word. He was somewhere between exhausted and haunted. He had saved the world, but lost his brother.

He was supposed to be different. The one who didn’t lose his soul. The one who’d find a way to have his cake and eat it too and walk away clean.

But instead, he failed.

Mango went straight to the kitchen. “I’m starving. You guys want anything?” she asked.

“No,” John said, already disappearing into one of the rooms.

“How about you?” she asked Laz.

“I’ll take whatever they got in there,” Laz said. “But first…”

He glanced down the hall, toward the room John had vanished into.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.”

Mango gave him a nod. “Sure.”

Laz stepped into the room quietly. John was sitting on the edge of a bed. The room was low key and looked more like a motel than a condo room.

“So… it’s over,” John said. “We really did it. Saved the world.”

“Yeah,” Laz said. “You know, for your first big mission… you crushed it. Way better than mine.”

John said nothing.

Laz sat down next to him. “They’re not gonna punish us for Tokyo. Not now. The agency’s gonna overlook it. We stopped something worse, and we fixed the problem.”

“I just wish I could’ve done more.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Something. Anything. I feel like there had to be another way.”

Laz stood. His face darkened.

“You mean your brother. You’re saying you wish you’d saved him.”

“He was my brother. Even after everything, I still loved him.”

“After everything? After the laser? After the crater in Tokyo?”

“I mean, he’s just a guy. I couldn’t save one guy. One guy.”

Laz started to pace back and forth. “One guy? Are you serious? We saved a lot of people today. Alright? A lot. We made up for mistakes that should’ve been handled at the start of this damn mission.”

He took a step forward and pointed in John’s face. “But you should’ve killed him.”

John smacked his hand away. “What do you know? You were only there at the end!”

“I let you have your little showdown,” Laz continued. “I thought it was you getting it out of your system! But you should’ve pulled the trigger. The fact that you tried to save him is insane.”

John stood up and stopped Laz’s pacing. He was starting to get pissed, but he tried to hold back his voice in a way that faked reasonable. “Insane? Why are people so hung up on one guy’s death? He’s dead now, anyway!”

“He’s your brother. Your problem. You led this mission. He was your responsibility. But nah, it’s just one guy, right? Just this one time. Just let him go. Ignore the hundreds, thousands, he’s killed. The lives he’s wrecked. Because he’s your one guy.”

John opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. What was he to say?

“You know what happens when one guy gets away? He comes back with a goddamn laser. You want to talk about what happens when you spare someone like that? Look at Tokyo. Look at what he almost did to the world. You’ve seen worse. Cartels. Terror cells. You fight tooth and nail when it’s faceless enemies, but your brother? Suddenly you’ve got morals.”

“He was my brother,” John said. “It was the third time I had seen him since I ran away. What do you know about that?”

“Don’t lecture me,” Laz shot back. “You don’t know anything about me. I’ve been lying for you, for the agency. Playing best friend while you played house with some blonde you met on assignment.”

Laz threw his hands in the air.

“I wish I had a senior agent on my first mission,” Laz continued. “You know where I was? Knee-deep in Louisiana swamp, mud up the ass, alligator nipping at my back.”

He pulled the ring out of his pocket. “But I did it. I got the codes. Got the plane. Saved your ass on that train. Took out that helicopter. Set up every safe house. You’re standing here because of me. So don’t act like you’re the only one carrying weight.”

“And you don’t know anything about me either.” John snapped back. “You think some file tells you who I am? That file’s incomplete. Everyone’s is. People are more than the bullets in their dossier.”

Laz stepped closer. “People are their actions, John. And today, I saw a man who’s not ready. Who couldn’t do what had to be done.”

“You think the answer is always killing?!”

“If you can’t kill someone like your brother, you will get people killed. You will lose control. And this world will feel the blunt of your shallow resolve.”

“Not everyone is like Peter. We came from the same place. Same blood. I chose to walk away. That was my right.”

Laz crossed his arms. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

John narrowed his eyes. “And you do?”

“The CIA doesn’t care about your family drama. It doesn’t care if you’re sad or conflicted. It cares about results. Your brother was a weapon. You let him live.”

“You think the CIA is some paragon of good? You think they haven’t done worse than Peter? You ever ask why?” John pressed. “Why is it evil when my brother kills innocents, but acceptable when the government does? What makes them the good guys?”

“That’s it, isn’t it?” Laz said. “You know the agency isn’t clean. But you wear the badge anyway. You think calling yourself a ‘field agent’ means you’re not part of the same machine. Then why are you here? Why stay if you know it’s broken?”

“Because someone has to keep them, our enemies, from taking over.”

“Maybe no one should have that power. Not Peter. Not the CIA. Not us.”

Laz was quiet.

John continued, “That satellite—no one should use it. Not for threats. Not for deterrents. It’s better if it’s destroyed. No one wins. Everyone’s on the same level.”

Laz rubbed his temples. “We’ll talk more in the morning.”

He turned to leave.

“We’re going to Ireland,” said Laz. “CIA’ll extract us there. It’s quiet and remote.”

“Ireland?” John asked.

“In case you missed it, I’m Irish.”

He reached the door.

“Think long and hard about whose side you’re really on, John.”

And then Laz was gone, leaving John alone with everything he didn’t want to feel.