A Subtle Blow

“Taro. Taro. Wake up. We best get going.”

My eyes slowly opened as my cheek peeled off of the grass. I steadily pulled myself from the ground, rubbing my sore eyes. My eyes couldn’t widen past a mere hardened squint.

I couldn’t tell if I was exhausted because my nap was so satisfactory, or it was simply because I was so tired from everything that had happened thus far. Either way, my whole body ached.

“Taro, you look terrible,” Ren said to me as he giggled to himself.

I groaned, continuing to rub my eyes until my vision cleared.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Only about two hours. Although, it looks like you haven’t slept in about three days.” Ren chuckled to himself once again.

I was struggling to understand why Ren was so cheerful. But then I remembered what I had seen before taking a rest. Ren’s massacring of the goblins must have put him in a better mood and let him blow off some steam that he was dying to get rid of.

As my eyes refocused themselves, I realised there was something different about Ren. I don’t think many others would have noticed. But I did. Considering I had known and been with him since birth, it was obvious to me.

His muscles. His face. His entire body. There was something sharper about all of them. What caused him to look like this? What if he had been eating the goblins while I wasn’t looking? Would he do something that crazy?

My face creased slightly at the thought and twisted with disgust. I felt scared asking, but I couldn’t resist.

“Why do you look different, Ren? Your muscles, your face, your body…they don’t look quite like they used to.”

As I asked this, I caught Ren gazing at his right bicep and poking it out of intrigue. He looked like a child who had been given a new toy, but hadn’t decided if they liked it yet.

“Huh? What was that, Taro?” Ren responded, clearly having ignored my question.

“Why do you look like that?” I repeated out of frustration.

“What, like this?”

Ren pulled off a pose that I had seen somewhere on my phone before. He exhaled slowly, planted his feet shoulder-width apart, and rolled his shoulders forward. With a slight bend in his elbows, his hands curled into loose fists at his sides. Then, after taking a deep puff, he flared his lats, the muscles expanding like wings.

How was this even noticeable under an opaque and metal suit of armour? Well, like I said before, I wasn’t going to question such comical things.

I stared at Ren, bemused, waiting for him to stop and finally answer my question properly.

His body stopped flaring itself, and relaxed.

“I’ve levelled up quite a bit, you know. I’m already much stronger. That means I can protect you and Izumi more easily during the next mission.”

I dropped my head slightly, feeling guilty again for what I did.

“I’m sorry—for running away. I’m sorry for not getting any stronger, either.”

“Sorry? Don’t worry about it right now, Taro. And besides, we all get XP for completing the mission, anyway. See, why don’t you check for yourself.”

Out of thin air, a holographic board appeared in front of Ren. His expression strongly contrasted mine. He appeared calm, relaxed and competent with what he was looking at, while I stood still, bewildered at what was happening.

“Ho–How did you do that?” My words stammered as my mouth hung open.

“What, this? It’s your stats board, of course. I figured there would be some way to look at it. It’s simple. You just summon for it to appear…and it appears. Easy, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” I let out a singular titter before trying it myself.

I wasn’t sure exactly what to say, but what I said worked. The stat board appeared in front of me and I could see what level I had reached.

‘Level 2.’

I guess that’s better than level 1, but I knew that was far off whatever Ren had achieved.

“It says I’m only Level 2. What about you, Ren? What level have you reached?”

“Seven,” he responded humbly, seeming unbothered.

Ren glanced at me, his brow furrowed with concern. “What about your leg? Is it still hurting?”

I forced a light-hearted smile and averted my gaze. “A bit, yeah. But I’ll be fine soon enough.”

That was a lie. It didn’t throb. It didn’t even tickle. But I didn’t want him to think I was a total wimp. I didn’t want him to think I’d run away from the goblins purely because I was scared.

“Stop worrying about me,” I said firmly. “I’ll keep up with you next time.”

He nodded as he turned away, clearly unconvinced by what I said. He probably made it more obvious that he would have liked to, but that didn’t change the fact that I knew he doubted me.

To be honest, I did as well. I wasn’t just lying to him. I was also lying to myself.

I kept my head down for a while, and followed Ren’s footsteps to where the next mission was supposed to be.

To my dismay, thoughts of Junpei began to fill my head again.

As we walked, the silence between us felt heavier than usual. I wanted to ask Ren how he was really feeling. I wanted to know if Junpei’s death still haunted him the way it did me.

“Ren…are you still thinking about Junpei whenever you aren’t distracted?”

Before I could say more, Ren stepped in, smiling way too brightly. “Not really at the moment. I’m just focused on getting him back. Once we do, it’ll be just like before. The trio will be back together again.”

There was something off in his voice. It was too upbeat. Too rehearsed. Too…happy.

He laughed and continued. “You’ll love it…we both will. Junpei and I can get back to having fun playing games and doing dumb stuff…and you? You can finally go back to studying… or whatever it is that you miss doing”.

I forced a half-assed chuckle. “Yeah…sounds good”.

It didn’t really. Not at all. That’s how he saw me? Just the boring brother who lived in the background?

I stayed silent.

His words hurt more than I thought they would – not because they were unexpected, but because I knew what he said was true.

My stomach began to turn and my whole body shook with a great unease. The subtle shot Ren had just taken at me made me remember what I had done to Akito not so long ago. It made me realise that no matter how much someone is drowning in their sorrows, unleashing your anger and inflicting pain onto someone else is never justified – especially if your suffering has nothing to do with them.

I promised myself that, if I were to make it out of here alive, I’d apologise to Akito immediately once I returned to school.

“Here we are, gang…’The Whispering Jungle’.” Ren joyfully announced.

I looked up with a mixture of awe and confusion. Confused as to how I had not seen what was in front of me until now, and in awe at how magnificent it was.

I really needed to stop disassociating myself with my surroundings. It already proved dangerous during the last mission, and was probably starting to get on Ren’s nerves even more.

WHOOOSH!

A strong gust of wind suddenly emerged from the jungle entrance, disturbingly shooting through us. It grated our ears, but not like a usual gust of wind. As it swept past me, a daunting whistle stormed my eardrums.

My eyes shot open. But Izumi and Ren continued forward.

My fear almost got the best of me, but I had promised myself that I wouldn’t hold us back again. Though my heart was thumping like it was trying to escape from my chest, I forced my legs to move and took a long, deep breath…

…and followed them into the jungle’s gaping jaws of darkness.