The Bartender Skirmish – No More

 “Ahh… finally… she’s dead.

“The monster is dead.” The Adventurer God basked under the light of the sun, a mixture of relief and guilt flowing through her. The battlefield came to a standstill as some of the guards rushed over to the fallen Melora. She felt bad killing a fellow person, but if it was to save the world, she would gladly make the necessary sacrifices. Not all evil was evil, just like not all good was good. She believed she was in the right, but as the veil of fog disappeared from her mind, the Adventurer God grew more uncertain. Not about killing the monster, that was inevitable in her mind, but whether she killed them at all.

“‘Nothing seems off, but there’s still a weight on my shoulders.’ Isn’t that what you’re thinking?”

The Adventurer God jumped backward, spinning around with her sword at the ready. Before her was a man, a nobleman given his outfit. At a glance, he seemed rather average, like an ordinary face blended into a crowd, yet here he was, sitting on a chair, as if he’s been there since the beginning.

“Now now, why are you so scared? I haven’t even done anything yet,” the man sighed, putting his hands up like he was somehow confused but nonchalant.

“Master, shall I get rid of her?” All of a sudden, a pair of fingers touched the Adventurer God’s neck from behind. She couldn’t move, or she felt like she couldn’t. One wrong step and her head would be separated from her body.

“Come on, No. 1, no need to be so grim. It’s my job to take care of it. I owe my savior at least that much.”

“...very well.” the fingers from behind disappeared just as a woman popped in behind the man. ‘A terrifying maid who could take down a god.’ She had heard the rumors over the past five years, but she never believed they could be true. And yet, here she was, standing there with an emotionless expression. And yet, that wasn’t the thing that surprised her the most. It was…

“You’re a beast?” the Adventurer God blurted, almost sneered, out.

“How rude. No. 1 here is a person. Well… mostly a person. Sort of a person? A bit of a–”

“Master.”

“Yes?”

“You should stop while you’re behind.”

“...got it.” The man sighed, hopping off his chair. In that brief moment, the Adventurer God lunged at the man in an instant, aiming to skewer him through. The man’s movement brought him closer to the sword as well, shortening the instant even further.

And yet, the man didn’t even look at her.

Chik.

It all happened so fast, too fast for the Adventurer God to understand. As though time stretched out infinitely, the man moved his chair, catching the sword between the legs, before snapping it with ease. Wooden legs snapping adamantite? It was impossible. Not even impossible, inconceivable. The man hadn’t even used mana, instead letting out a disappointed huff.

“Is that really all you have? It seems even the gods regressed under the shattered moon. How did you even become one in the first place with those shoddy skills and stolen mana?”

“Shut up!” In a frantic act, the Adventurer God threw a punch before finding herself looking towards the sky, a single cloud floating by. She didn’t see anything once again, but she already found herself on the losing foot, her armor shattered. An impact rocked through her body as she landed on the ground groaning. Even as she pulled herself up, she found the man standing there with his chair slung over his shoulder without a care in the world.

“Who are–” she struggled to say after having the wind taken out.

“That’s a surprise. How can you be a god without knowing who I am? Everyone around us does.” The Adventurer God stopped for a moment before finally taking a look at the battlefield.

Every single person, man or beast, was kneeling towards the man with the chair. The beastmen kneeled in reverence, as though swearing loyalty to their king. The men, meanwhile, kneeled in fear due to his overpowering presence, one so strong that no one could detect it, save for a floating cloud.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the nursery rhyme. ‘For when the gods run free, believing they own the crown…’”

The Adventurer God spoke, her voice shaking. “‘...the Chairman will come to take them down.’”

The man, no, the Chairman, gave a smile. “There we are. Now it’s time for you to pay the price.”

Silence reigned across the battlefield, so quiet that it seemed frozen in time. Then, the Adventurer God laughed. She laughed and laughed, each time growing more and more crazed. “How?!? How can you do this to me?!? She’s a monster! She can destroy the world! Am I supposed to watch people die and do nothing?!? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“There’s two things you got wrong. First, a god is only a person who reached the heights of their skill above all others. Those above you are only there because they have trained their skills much longer and much harder. They are not monsters just because they’re stronger than you.” The Chairman tapped his chair against the ground. The Adventurer God collapsed, as though having their strings cut.

“What–” she barely managed to squeak out.

“I’ve taken away your mana. You will never be able to cast spells again. And don’t even bother trying to commit suicide; I’ve already taken steps to prevent it. The rest of your life will be spent atoning for your massacres in the name of justice.”

The swordswoman made no effort to protest. She could only move her eyes as her mind faded in and out of consciousness.

“And second, that girl was stronger than most gods. There's no way you could’ve killed her.”

The Chairman looked up towards the sky, staring at a cloud, and smiled.

“Isn’t that right?”