My Princes!

The sword was held by a hairy, muscular hand that belonged to none other than Kim with the goatee. In his other hand, another blade gleamed, and with a whistle, he aimed it at the werewolf’s throat.

But the beast had quick instincts. It jerked to the side and avoided the deadly blow. It leapt away from us and roared angrily.

“Oi, glad ye’re alright, lad.”

My prince! My inner shojo protagonist awoke. My eyes even sparkled, and all I needed at that point was a few glossy roses around me. But I didn’t get to admire my overly muscular saviour for long, because the werewolf lunged at us again.

Something whistled through the air and narrowly missed the creature’s head, which jerked back just in time. It was Kem! And just a moment later, the last of the brothers – Kam – appeared behind the werewolf.

The beast swiped at him with sharp claws, and Kam barely blocked it with his two-handed axe.
Kim hurled both of his swords. One shaved a tuft of fur off the werewolf’s shoulder and must have dug into the flesh too, because the fur turned red. But second sword stopped midair halfway to the opponent and just hung in mid-air. The next instant, Kem bounced off it and leapt at the werewolf with his hammer raised.

The monster flung Kam several meters away and managed to dodge the hammer. But at that moment, the sword – which I now realized Kim could control remotely – flew at the monster. It was kind of clumsy, as I noticed, but it was still an impressive ability.

The werewolf deflected the blade with a clang and then charged at me and Kim, who had lost all his weapons.

Okay, I take it back – that ability is stupid! Why did you throw away your swords, you idiot?!

Before the beast’s fanged jaws could reach us, they were knocked off course by Kem’s hammer. The creature took a direct hit and was hurled into the metal wall. It whimpered like a wounded dog.

Kam attacked with his axe. But the beast recovered faster than expected, and instead of dodging, it went on the offensive and bit into the handle of the axe. Suddenly, the axe evaporated into a puff of steam and the werewolf stumbled forward. The weapon reappeared in Kam’s hand and with a whistle, it dug into the creature’s flesh. The werewolf growled and shoved him away, slamming Kam into the wall with a painful grunt.

Kem attacked again, along with the two flying swords that had returned from vacation. One was dodged, but the other pierced the monster’s leg. Kem’s hammer suddenly shrank into a small one-handed version. It wasn’t that strong in this state, but much faster for sure. The monster didn’t react in time and took a direct hit to the skull and Kam slashed beast with his axe too. The werewolf thrashed and tried to throw the warriors off him, but muscular arms grabbed it and pinned it to the cold ground.
Kim caught both of his swords and hurled them immediately. This time, both flew straight and true.
The werewolf tried to let out one last desperate howl, but it was cut short by two blades plunging deep into its maw. It gurgled and choked for a few seconds, and then there was silence.

All three brothers sighed in relief and collapsed to the floor, causing a minor earthquake. Kim pulled out a black box and pressed a button. In an instant, I was back behind the counter in the convenience store. The warmth and the strong scents of the shop washed over me. It felt like coming back home.
My peaceful train of thought was violently interrupted by a loud crash in front of the counter. I scrambled to my feet and saw those three massive mountains of muscle and one bloodied werewolf corpse, had collapsed into the shelves with goods. Vials, swords, and energy elixirs rolled everywhere.

“You’ll pay for this, you bastards!” I screamed, furious. I’m not adding even a single coin to my debt!

“No way.”

“Not a chance.”

“Forget it.”

“That’s it! I’m suing you to Lumir, you criminals!”

“Just kiddin’, lad,” they all said at once, in perfect unison, with matching dumb grins.

Did I seriously say I might miss them a moment ago? I must’ve sunk really low. I flopped down on the counter.

“Good job, lad.”

“Aye, nicely done.”

“Top notch!”

“You don’t have to say everything three times, has anyone ever told you that?” I mumbled, still laying on the counter.

“Say wha’? We do that?”

“What d’ye mean?”

“Interestin’. Never thought about that.”

Wow. These guys really are 99 percent muscle, and in that remaining percent, you’d be lucky to find a few brain fragments.

“Anyway, that’s not the point.” I stood up. “You—you bastards! You tricked me! It sucked me in with the werewolf, and you didn’t even bother to tell me! I could’ve died!”

“Aye, that wasn’t very nice o’ us,” Kim chuckled heartily. His “brothers” followed suit.

“Hahahahahahaha!”

“It’s not funny!” I screamed. I just wanted to grab them by the collar and shake them, but they didn’t have any collars thanks to their lack of clothes, and I’d sooner move a mountain than budge one of them.

“We figured ye wouldn’t take the job if we told ye it’d suck ye into a pocket prison with a bloodthirsty wolf,” Kam explained while stroking his thick moustache.

“You’re damn right I wouldn’t! I almost died! And you even promised me it wasn’t a killer!”

“Would ye call an animal a murderer?” Kem asked thoughtfully, like he was challenging my outdated beliefs about the animal kingdom. I didn’t have the energy to answer.

“But that wasn’t part o’ the plan,” Kim pointed out, stroking his goatee. “It was meant tae pull ye in with him, sure, but ye were supposed tae be safe inside. Guess he broke free o’ the chains. Huh, strange.”

“Not really, our pocket prison’s been expired for two years,” Kam reminded him.

“Oh, aye! That’s right!”

“Totally forgot about that.”

“Hahahahahaha!”

“Stop f**king laughing already! Did you seriously give me a broken piece of crap?!” I kept fuming.

“Look, as a shopkeeper, ye should know not all expired stuff’s bad or busted,” Kem lectured me.

“Exactly! Once I cooked a cod that was a week expired for the guild, and it was pretty good. Had this sweet aftertaste,” Kam recalled.

“Aye, but everyone was runnin’ through the halls that night. Nobody stopped tae chat. Wonder where they were rushin’ off tae,” Kim mused.

“Probably went back fer seconds! Must’ve really liked it,” Kam tapped his temple knowingly, as if he’d just solved one of the world’s greatest mysteries.

“Aye, makes sense.”

“Enough! Stop giving people expired crap! It’s your business if you wanna shit yourself from expired fish but leave me out of it!”

“Weren’t we talkin’ about the pocket prison?”

“You’re the ones who brought up the cod you blockheads!”

I was seriously running out of patience with these guys, whose intelligence rivalled that of a cement block. “You’re irresponsible, horrible villains! I’m sick of you! I never want to see you here ag—”

“Oh, and here’s yer payment, lad. Threw in twenty glens extra for the unexpected danger.”

“Oh, thank you so much, kind sirs. Please come again,” I chirped, lovingly weighing the pouch, full to the brim.