Suppressed Emotions

If emptiness had a face, Saito’s mother Cicilia resembled it perfectly. She lost all that mattered to her - her house and her family. The only light left with her was Saito, whom she held in her arms with utmost care and protection. The pink sky through the window behind her contrasted the deep blues of her grief.

Minichi was sitting numb from everything that happened in a matter of moments. Despite the accident, her subsequent teleportation, this otherworldly responsibility put on her to end some war, and the sudden attack by the beasts, Minichi was unusually calm. “Why am I not freaking out?” she wondered. “I know I probably won’t be able to see Mom and Dad, Rimi, Hataki, Ms. Telly, and my other friends ever again. But I am not able to feel strongly about it. Why?”

Mobi finally broke the heavy silence as they left town. “Since you arrived”, he looked at Minichi, “the mana levels across the world have been rising. It happens every year but two or three months later. So, it wasn’t of much concern. But a week ago, the mana levels spiked. Some of the neighbouring towns were already attacked.” Minichi looked lost and numb. Lilith and Cicilia didn’t even look up when Mobi spoke.

“These are Mana Beasts.” Mobi continued. “About 950 years ago, the mana from each of the three kingdoms began to differ marking the onset of the Great War. These beasts are born from the conflicting mana.” Mobi paused to read the room. Nothing changed. Minichi was looking at him with confused cold eyes. They have come quite far from the town by now. But the pink glow in the distant sky remained, perhaps a little less than before. The defence forces must be working hard as they flee.

“You mentioned that these beasts looked more ferocious than before. What did you mean by that? And why did the mana levels increase after I arrived? I do not even have mana” Minichi spoke after a long time. Her throat cracked from her prolonged silence.

“The mana levels of the other kingdoms increased, not us. Perhaps that has caused an imbalance and this attack. Mana beasts generally appear quite far from the boundaries of towns, giving the defence some time to prepare and even neutralise the attack even before they reach the boundaries. But tonight the defense forces were not prepared for an attack so sudden.” Mobi looked worried.

“So, does that mean your kingdom is weak because I don’t have any mana? Perhaps you should let me go. I won’t be of any use like this. Maybe I am not the one the prophecy is talking about.” Minichi’s eyes were cold and almost teary. “You should wait for someone who is more capable. I have already lost everything I had and I just can’t care less about your world.” she continued. Her words pierced Cicilia like an arrow. She held Saito closer to her. Mobi looked very concerned. “Minichi, this isn’t the time for pessimism.”

“Right. I couldn’t care less” she tucked herself to one side of the carriage and closed her eyes. “Miss Minichi,” Lilith tried to console Minichi but she couldn’t bring herself to speak. Minichi is not totally wrong. Even Mobi knew that. But they couldn’t do anything. The carriage kept moving. No one could bring themselves to speak. Only the footsteps of the horse could be heard.

It was already morning when Minichi woke up, but the sun rays were faint. The carriage had halted. From the view out of the window, it looked like they were in the mountains. The trees around them were covered in snow. Lilith and Saito were asleep. Cicilia, however, didn’t seem to have caught a glimpse of slumber. Her eyes, fixated on her child, looked dreadful. Her face was pale and lips parted. As Minichi was about to get up and look out, Mobi put his finger on his lips. He was looking out through the closed windows. His eyes were intense and focused. Minichi made sure to follow and looked outside. What she saw was traumatising. A group of giant heron-like beasts were tearing a horse apart. Its carriage toppled beside it. The snow underneath was soaked red.

“Shouldn’t we help the people?” Minichi whispered. Her voice cracked from fear. “They’re dead. We’d die too, if we go.” he replied without changing his gaze. “But what if there are survivors?” she insists. “Shh. I’m trying to conceal our carriage’s mana so that they don’t spot us. Don’t talk” Mobi’s eyes looked very dry as if he didn’t blink for a long time. The view outside was by no means comforting either. After sometime when the beasts were looking away Mobi whispered to the coachman to begin moving very slowly. He was trying his best to conceal all mana.

Lilith woke up from the movements. She almost screamed but caught herself when she looked outside. The carcass nauseated her. As she controlled herself, Minichi visibly broke down. Her eyes lost the shine they had in them. “I don’t want to stay here.” Her fists clenched her frock, “Mom, Dad. I want to go back to Mom and Dad. I… I can’t.. I just can’t stay here.” She gulped. Her eyes were teary. “Mobi, please. I beg you. I want to go home.” she knelt down. “Miss Minichi.” Lilith couldn’t help but put her arms on Minichi. “You don’t know how I feel, Lilith. You’ve never lost anyone. You can never under...” She couldn’t speak anymore. “Please… Please let me go. I can’t anymore.” tears started rolling down her plum cheeks as she bit her lips.

Lilith held Minichi in her tense arms. “You’re not going through this alone. We’re here. So, please stay calm.” “Lilith.. you don’t understand,” she freed herself from Lilith’s arms. “Please… Please let me go, Mobi. I haven’t done anything to you.” She screamed in despair as she now clenched Mobi’s overcoat.

“Shut up. None of us will make it out alive if they spot us.” Mobi almost scolded her as he put his hand on Minichi’s mouth to prevent her from screaming. Minichi felt too helpless to continue and sat back in her corner with her fists clenching her dress. She gulped from suppressed tears and hit her lips. Her tears felt long awaited. Cicilia took a glance at Minichi’s crying face. “Mom, Dad.” Minichi gulped again while she looked out of the window on the other side of the carcass. Tears kept rolling down her cheeks. Lilith could only see.

After they slowly escaped the beasts, the landscape started to change as they descended downhill. After an hour or so, the snow disappeared and the surrounding began to warm up. Mobi felt like he had been holding his breath for hours as he finally let out a sigh. Minichi slowly calmed down and sat straight up.

“I’m sorry, Mobi. I was too scared.” She couldn’t look him in the eyes.

“It’s alright. It’s good that you’ve calmed down now.” Mobi voiced his concerns. “You have been through a lot too and I might say, it is rather very selfish of us to impose such a huge duty upon you against your will. I hope you will forgive us for that. But we don’t have a choice. If the war continues, the things that have been happening since last night will be more frequent. But we are all by your side to help you. So, please help us!”

Minichi also notices Cicilia looking at her. Her eyes were warmer than usual. It felt like she too was trying to comfort Minichi.

Later that day when they arrived at Garrytown, a commercial city, they grabbed lunch and packed food. Zenith is the next city. They continued soon after. The land from here was less deserted. There were numerous farms and villages along the road. Saito woke up at Garrytown and Cicilia looked a bit cheerful. However, she didn’t tell him the events of the previous night. Saito’s joyful outlook made everyone less gloomy.

“I’m Cicilia,” she introduced herself to Minichi. “Thank you for yesterday and that day.”

“Actually I should apologise to you for what I said last night. I was very scared, you know. I hope you will forgive me, Cicilia.” Minichi eagerly looked at her to accept her apology.

“You must be going through a lot too. Honestly, I felt very bad that I couldn't do anything for you in the morning. But I’m glad to see you’re doing better now.” Cicilia smiled for the first time since the fire. Minchi smiled back.

They bonded quite well and the mood of the carriage slowly lightened. Then suddenly the carriage stopped again. A few guards in armour looked inside and asked Mobi to step out. As soon as he did, they tied his hands and ordered the coachman to follow them inside.