Breaking Focus

Yuki stared at Yumi for a minute trying to see if he got any reaction out of her. She still looked to be doing something at the computer terminal she sat at. It seemed a little contrary that with the deathly appearance that she had she could still be doing anything. ‘I’ve never seen her like this before… What has she been going through?’

A passive approach didn’t seem to be getting him anywhere. He had so little to go on with the situation and there was something clearly disturbed with Yumi. She knew better than him what was happening, that was at least his take on her appearance and behavior so far.

He grabbed her hand, stopping her from scrolling through the sea of text on the screen. It appeared to be an automated process that he didn’t know enough to recognize. Yet once the text stopped moving, it caught up to her. She moved her hand through the air finding that it did nothing. Slowly, Yumi started to wake from her stupor, though even that lacked any real sense of energy that she had been known for. “Oh it’s you. I guess you made it.”

“Do you not remember saving me?”

“I did?”

“Yes.”

“I guess that’s what happened this time,” she noted to herself as though she was making notes about the situation.

“I’m getting a feeling like something’s going on that I’m not aware about, Yumi.”

“It’s nothing that you can solve this time.” She turned back to the terminal with her hand free. “I’m the only one that can do it.”

Yuki leaned in, putting his hand on the screen to interrupt her. “Clearly you seem to believe that and this is your story so I’m not going to tell you what to do. But as your friend and someone that cares about you, I think you need a break.”

“I don’t have that sort of luxury, Yuki. The longer that I stay here the worse it’ll be for me. I need to find the right solution.”

“I think you might already be beyond that point, Yumi.”

Yumi grabbed his wrist and pulled him away. “Listen!” she shouted at Yuki. It was unusual to hear Yumi yell at him, frustrated or annoyed perhaps, but she was angry with him. “I know my body and I know what I’m doing! I’ve been doing this for far longer than you! I know what must be done! So just get out of my way and shut up! Leave if you can do neither.”

‘She’s clearly not thinking straight…’ He looked around, not finding what he was looking for. “Yumi, before I leave, is there a mirror I can borrow?”

“Mirror?” He nodded to her with her not really understanding what that mattered. ‘If it gets rid of him…’ She tapped on the terminal, putting up some options. “I can convert this into a mirror by hacking the display settings.”

“Great, can you do that for me really quick?”

“That’s pretty simple stuff.” The task barely even took her thirty seconds to complete. Though the terminal wasn’t built to do such things, she could alter the way it projected color to simulate the look of a mirror while using the cameras onboard to just project the image of what they saw back. “It’s set up. Though it’s mostly just faking it all.”

“But it’ll still function in the same way?” She nodded to him. “That’ll be fine then.” Yuki leaned over her shoulder looking forward at it and then reacting sharply to something. “What’s that?” He leaned a little forward to get a better look.

“There’s nothing wrong with it that I saw,” Yumi confirmed before looking at the mirror with a little bit of confusion at what he might have seen. However, when she looked, she just saw herself. She hadn’t seen her face for a long time. She actually didn’t even know what she looked like as an adult. There was never a good opportunity with everything happening to actually use the restroom for anything other than what she immediately needed it for. Anything more she just ignored.

Though even more than seeing her adult face, she didn’t expect to find such a haggard look on her face. She finally could see what Yuki saw and it made her lean back. It gave a shock to her system and mind, breaking the concentration that she had built up. “That’s not…me…”

Chapter 487 – Breaking Focus

It only took a little convincing from Yuki to get Yumi to step away from the terminal and leave the room. She glanced around trying to take things in to what was currently happening on the Ark. Little of the area gave her any indication of the status, this part of the Ark was never in any sort of danger throughout any of the times that she looped.

Yumi pressed her hand up against the panel of the wall to get a status from it. She figured things out quickly from a glance and knew. “So we’re on that route then…”

“Yumi you sound like you’re playing a game. Like none of it matters to you.”

She turned around and leaned up against the hall recalling everything that she experienced. “Sorry I can’t be emotional about something I’ve already seen play out too many times to count.”

“So I was right about my guess, you’re experiencing the same span of time over and over again.”

“You’re close, but not completely correct.” Yumi started walking again, motioning to him to follow her. She guided their route down several decks of the Ark into one of the many gardens that existed around the main facility. Designed by Sumiko, she wanted everyone working to feel comfortable and at ease knowing that they weren’t used to long term space deployment. It was the home for thousands and they needed to feel comfortable, especially given the dire situation that they faced.

Yumi however picked it for a different reason. It had a good view of the exterior of the Ark aiming towards the hull rather than into deep space. “You see that, one of the spires of this place. Right now they’re working hard on the balancing of the sub-reactor after the repairs that Sumiko found to inspire her. She’s probably a little bothered by the idea that someone figured out how to solve the equation of energy transfer for the interjection into a micro-wormhole, but she’s more annoyed that they haven’t shown up to help her finish. She’s very intelligent, but not self centered to refuse help if it will give her better odds.”

“You sound very familiar. How many times has it been?”

She sat down on the floor ignoring the strange plants that had been grown in different worlds within the Sol System. “I honestly can’t remember anymore. I kept track in the beginning, but now it’s just time for me to use.”

“What have you been doing? You’ve gained more than just a passing knowledge of things here.” Yuki sat down on the floor with her.

“Learning and testing.”

“Testing?”

“It was probably subconscious, but we’re on right now the most efficient route to the best ending that I’ve been able to reach so far. I’ve been able to find ways to move things the way I want without having to involve myself so that I can focus on what I need to do.”

“And what is it that you need to do? Have you figured out the purpose of this world?”

“I’m supposed to solve this crisis. Every time I fix something I gain more time. There’s not a finite deadline.”

“The attack on the station?”

“No, there’s no way to win that. I’ve read up enough to know that’s impossible for them. No, this is supposed to be the ship that saves what will remain of the human race.”

“A ship, this is pretty large for that…”

“Yes, the scale is massive, but it’s a colony ship or perhaps a refugee one. The outcome with those attacking is already decided. Human civilization will end, but this ship is their hope for saving civilization.”

“How do they plan to do something like that? Based on what little I’ve seen of their attackers, running away is going to be impossible. They’ll just catch up.”

“True, that’s why Sumiko was put in charge of this project. The leading scientific mind of their people, she’s basically a prodigy with vast knowledge in astro-physics, propulsion, quantum mechanics and theoretical physics.”

“Sounds like a very broken character build. If she’s that smart, shouldn’t she have already solved everything?”

“The woman might be a genius and prodigy, but she’s still only human and is out of time. Her genius allowed this to be built and she’s nearly completed the engine that she needs. The problem is time. She’s not able to reach the end because the time table is against her. But that’s where I come in. I can learn everything that she knows and thinks and solve the problems she doesn’t have the time for. Together we’ll save everyone from death!”

Yuki paused with no immediate reply to her. He appeared to be processing everything that she told him. It took him a little bit to gather himself before he spoke again. “Yumi, that much information you couldn’t have learned in just a few days of cramming knowledge.”

“That’s correct. I’ve been successful so far in giving me two weeks. Giving the 3rd Fleet improved tactical forecasts for their battles, I’ve been able to keep the attackers busy, but that’s all the time I can buy from the external variables. Completing the engine now is the only thing that will allow me to arrive at the end.”

He stood up pacing around as it all seemed to stir in his head. “Yumi, you’ve been trying to fix this for months!”

“More likely years,” she stated matter of factly having completely lost any sense of time or even concern for it. “I’ve been doing this for a very long time and gotten very good at it. I’m so close to a breakthrough I just know it! I just have to keep going forward!”

“…Yumi…I—“

“It’s fine, Yuki. I can do this!”

Suddenly, he came forward and rested his hand on her shoulder for some reason. She didn’t understand what was wrong with him. Everything she said should have been very clear to him and reassuring. She had command of the situation. “…why do you have that look of pity?” Her foot slid her back a little over the polished floors to get some distance.

“You’ve been all alone this time… I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine! I’ll make it right! This is what must be done!”

A thin line drew over his lips as he stared at her. All she got was a reflection of what he saw through his reaction to her. “The look on your face says otherwise.” He tried to move close to help her, but she stood up to get away from him.

“I don’t need your pity, Yuki! You’re just going to forget all of this the next time! I must do this alone! There is no other choice! They want me to solve this without anyone’s help this time. That’s what she meant by this being more difficult!”

“She said there was more to lose than just time, Yumi!”

“I haven’t lost anything! I’ve gained so much knowledge! I understand things that you could only dream of!”

“You didn’t gain it without losing something, Yumi.” He continued to insist that she was wrong. Yumi made sure to keep her distance from him. There was nothing positive about his ideas. The road was long and hard, but that couldn’t stop her from taking it.

“I’m not giving up! She’s spent half of her life trying to prove them all wrong! She’s a genius and they still thought that she was crazy!” Yumi tightened up her fist emoting with it as she spoke. “Everyone was against her, but she still went forward! Only when it was too late did they accept her and only because they had no other choice! She never stopped believing! She’s someone to praise and celebrate! Her vision, strength, conviction, everything about her…”

“I’m not saying to give up, Yumi, but you’re destroying yourself for this goal!”

He tried to catch her, but she slipped away as it suddenly felt like she remembered it happening before. She knew what he was going to do. Yumi paused for a second as she had a meter between them. “No, that's what you’re saying. When I’m so close to the end, you want me to give up! You don’t believe I can do it! Just like everyone else!”

“I never said that, Yumi!”

“You want to say it.” She darted her head around seeing phantoms of Yuki coming for her.

“I only care about you. This is a heavy burden and I can’t carry it with you this time.”

“No, this is the way it must be!”

“You’re so focused on the goal that you can’t see anything else, Yumi.”

“That’s all that matters!”

“Have you considered this isn’t the answer?”

Flashes of Yukis appeared to her. She started to confuse reality from her memories. Her hand supported her head as a pain started to grow. “Again, you say it…”

“What did you say Yumi?”

Pressing through the pain, she leaned forward full of anger with him for repeating himself. “You always come to the same conclusion! Every time you’re alive and make it this far you always say the same thing to me! You’re wrong!”

“Yumi…how many times have we had this conversation?”

She shook her head trying to focus again. “I don’t know, dozens, maybe hundreds? You just repeat yourself.”

“What?!” Yuki suddenly managed to grab Yumi, stopping her from moving about, unable to see it coming. Things were no longer playing out the same way as they had before. “Yumi, we’ve had this conversation that many times?! Has anything changed in all of those times?”

“Never. It’s always the same. The same…” Yumi’s mind froze up with the shock that Yuki delivered to her. Something that had been ignored in her constant drive to the goal. Forced to confront the reality, she could no longer take it and collapsed.