Chapter 2: Interstate Highway System

“Executive Power!” Grant bellowed, “Union Army; 21 Gun Salute!”

Dozens of rifles extended from Grant’s weaponized hands, then fired off in quick succession.

“Starting things off with a bang?” Eisenhower quipped as she placed her tank head down before her, blocking off the shots. She gave a smirk, then charged ahead with her weapon still in front of her, crashing into Grant with the force of a moving train.

Grant skidded back from the attack, then thrusted his arm at his opponent. Eisenhower shifted away, evading his attack. She gave a short smile, only to drop her grin as a sea of blades shot out from Grant’s open palm.

“Ah hell!” Eisenhower shouted as she flung her body back, narrowly dodging the swords at the cost of losing her balance. Grant immediately stepped himself forward, slamming into Eisenhower and flinging her across the arena. She twisted her body midair, landing down with a graceful flourish.

“You really don’t pull any of your punches, do ya?” Eisenhower chuckled, rolling out her bruised shoulder.

Eisenhower looked to her opponent, but Grant refused to offer a reply.

“Not a man of many words, hmm? Well, that’s just fine by me…” she raised a hand into the air, “…let’s talk with our fists!”

As she spoke, a grid of miniature roads spread across the floor, covering the ground in an array of crisscrossing intersections.

“Executive Power,” Eisenhower screamed, “Interstate Highway System!”

Grant glanced down, looking over the set of roads as he gently kicked at one just besides his feet.

“Curious,” he mumbled.

“Now get ready…”

Grant looked up; his eyes wide at the sight of Eisenhower standing directly in front of him.

“…for my massive retaliation!”

Eisenhower collided into Grant, slamming him away. Grant restored his balance as fast as he could, only for Eisenhower to appear before him once again.

“Take this!” she screamed as she let forth a continuous barrage of attacks from her sledgehammer tank head. “And this, and this, and this!”

Grant gritted his teeth at the heavy blows, then planted his feet firmly down onto the floor as Eisenhower swung her weapon once again. Grant thrusted his arm forward, colliding his fist into Eisenhower’s strike, flinging the two fighters back from the collective force of their two attacks.

Eisenhower landed on the ground, stood still for a moment, then broke into a hearty laugh.

“Hot dang!” she chuckled, “I thought for sure you’d retreat in a situation as dangerous as that! But hell, you went for a damn counter instead!”

Grant gave a shrug.

“It’s nothing worthy of praise,” he replied, wiping off a streak of blood from his forehead. “Running from a fight just isn’t my style.”

“Same here! I say, if you have to use force…” she bent down, lowering her stance, “…use overwhelming force!”

Eisenhower sprang up ahead, sprinting across her roads with insane levels of acceleration.

“That speed…!” Grant exclaimed as he hastily raised his arms to block Eisenhower’s high velocity attack, “So that’s how you kept appearing so quickly!”

“Roger that,” Eisenhower replied, pushing off of Grant. “You see, I get a speed boost whenever I run down one of the roads created from my EP. And I’m sorry to tell you,” she remarked with a grin, “but my roads won’t do a thing for you no matter how hard you try running across them!”

Grant gave a snort, then readied up his stance.

“That’s plenty fine by me…”

In the stands, a towering figure wearing a stovepipe hat nodded to himself.

“Yes, that’s quite alright,” Gabe Lincoln mused. “After all, if Eisenhower’s roads don’t affect him, then Grant has no need to worry about where he puts his feet!”

A shallow cackle echoed behind Lincoln. Lincoln turned around, but spotted nothing other than a wall covered in shadows.

“You and Grant put far too much faith in the words of others...” the snickering voice continued as Dixie Nixon stepped from the darkness. “…and that gullibility of his will be Grant’s ultimate undoing…”

Back on the ground, Grant charged at his opponent swinging one of his heavy, weaponized fists.

“Too slow!” Eisenhower cackled as she dashed along her road, dodging his strike. She turned down an intersection, then leapt at Grant from behind with her sledgehammer raised. Grant lifted up his arms, blocking Eisenhower’s blow, then thrusted his hands forward, pushing her away.

“Union Army!” Grant screamed, “21 Gun Salute!”

Grant fired a round of shots from his hands as Eisenhower hit the floor, only for her to dash along her roads, dodging his attacks.

“Quit moving so much…” Grant grumbled.

“Oh please,” Eisenhower cooed while avoiding the shots, “you couldn’t hit me with my feet stapled to the floor! In fact…”

Eisenhower skidded to a halt, turning to Grant with a wicked grin.

“…I bet you couldn’t hit me if I stayed right here!”

Grant furrowed his brow.

“I don’t know what all you’re plotting…”

He clenched his fists, then charged straight ahead.

“…but I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth!”

Grant made it to Eisenhower’s position, placing his left foot squarely on her road before throwing out a punch.

“That’s what I was hoping for…” Eisenhower smirked as the fist flew towards her.

Suddenly, Grant’s body jerked back, veering his punch off course. Before he could move further, Eisenhower raised her weapon with a vicious smile.

“Fore!” she screamed, smashing into Grant’s face with her sledgehammer.

Grant gritted his teeth, enduring the weight of the attack before throwing off a counter punch of his own.

“I’m not falling for that again!” Eisenhower chuckled.

Grant widened his eyes as Eisenhower’s body shifted unnaturally to the side, moving just out of range of his fist. Grant tried to adjust his course mid-swing, but the momentum from his heavy punch carried him forward as Eisenhower stayed back, cackling to herself as she readied her weapon once more.

“Take this!” Eisenhower screamed, colliding her sledgehammer into him and smashing him to the other end of the arena.

Grant crashed hard onto the ground, the weapons glued along his arms peeling off from the force of the impact…his body left unmoving on the floor…

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Grant’s Gullibility. Ulyssess S. Grant had a bad habit of putting too much faith in his friends, with this leading to his Presidential cabinet being regarded as one of the most corrupt cabinets of all time.