Entry 4 - Glass

Entry 4 - "Glass"

Mai was mostly done looking through the top floor, having stumbled across a control/surveillance room. The room was filled with screens projecting all the main rooms in the building, along with the perimeter outside.

“Hmm. Let’s see here. As expected, no one else is inside this place, and the same goes for the Turned…”

Shifting her gaze between the dozens of monitors, she saw Shin sleeping in the lobby of the top floor, Lila and Izz watching the entrance on the first floor, and Mathieu walking the halls on his phone. Satisfied with the scan of the premises, Mai searched the room further.

“I wonder if there’s any backup power, or a generator…”

Nothing of the sort. Mai scowled, thinking over how long it would take for power and internet to fully diminish.

Mathieu stumbled in on Mai in the control room.

“Woah, nice find.”

“No emergency power or generators.”

“Hmm. I’ll have to think of where we can find a gas or hand powered generator. Of course, getting that to work is an issue of its own, but that won’t matter until we actually need it. Finding one is a priority for now.”

“The school probably has one or two, even. I think I saw some in a storage room.”

“Guess we’ll have to venture back there soon…”

“I’m gonna go check on Shin.”

“I think I’ll stay here for now, keep an eye on the perimeter and check the web.”

Mai walked back to the lobby and looked at Shin longingly.

No matter what, I’ll make sure we can get back to the life you cherished.

Those words echoed in her mind as she listened to his soft breaths. She sat down next to him and patted his head, and shut her eyes.

Right outside the window was a swarm of Turned, some unidentified forms included, surrounding the auditorium where the conference was held.

…

I saw my father standing before me. I bit my tongue and braced myself.

...He was a fleeting silhouette, and quickly faded away from my sight.

I could hear his voice. His words were muffled but I could make out tones of fear and contempt.

Get out of my head.

Bastard.

I thought you were out of my goddamn life. Stop coming back.

The floor gave way and I fell.

…

“...You’re dead. Stop acting like you aren’t, you asshole.”

“Shin?”

“N-huh?”

Mai was staring at me from above.

“I was dreaming…”

“Ah.”

Why do I have to remember him?

Why do I have to remember that man?

Why do I have to remember the person that tainted my childhood?

“What were you dreaming about?”

“...My father.”

Mai made a sympathetic face.

The man that was “my father”...

I’m still haunted by him.

“Shin… Even now, you’re…”

She knew. She was the only one I trusted with that secret.

The person who I refused to call my dad. The person who would kick me and Aki around like we were cans on the street. The person that called me a waste of air every chance he had.

My mom could only watch as he treated me like garbage day after day, knowing he would kick her around the same way if she intervened.

I don’t even know why he was the way he was, but it doesn’t matter.

He could have been given that role by God, and I still wouldn’t have forgiven him.

“Shin, you know you didn’t do anything wrong.”

He could do those detestable things to Aki, barely even four. I suppose I’m glad he can’t remember most of that, and was able to grow up normally from there, at least, more so than me.

But I would never be free to grow up like an actual child like Aki.

I killed him, after all.

“Mai, I wish I could just let it go.”

Was it guilt I felt?

Aki was at school, I had ditched class and went home after being picked on again due to my silent disposition. When I tried sneaking back into the house, I ran right into my dad who had just been fired from his job.

It wasn’t pretty. He really beat the living shit out of me. I snapped then and there, thinking about every single thing he put me through. I wasn’t going to take it anymore, and I sure as hell didn’t want Aki to deal with it either.

The nine-year-old me had already prematurely lost his innocence and curiosity because of his ass.

It wasn’t a fight, it was just him decking me repeatedly, occasionally stomping on me. My mom had noticed both of us were home by then and was just standing there as always.

He was finished with me, and I got back up. As he was about to go downstairs to grab another beer or something, everything in me drove my body to tackle my father. As I caught him from behind, he didn’t react in time, and I shoved him down the staircase. I was braced to get beaten even worse when he got up. But to my surprise, he broke his neck at the foot of the staircase. Died on the spot.

My mom was without reaction. She didn’t speak up about my involvement in his fall, and his death was ruled an accident. She knew well why I was driven to do that. Aki never came to know of what happened either. He was left in the dark and cried even, because he was still young. Me and my mom remained very distant for the rest of my life. I inferred she was afraid of me, if I had been influenced by him in any way. I never really tried to dispel that though.

I was tainted by the events of my childhood, and became a recluse. Not long after, I managed to cope by finding a hobby in RPGs and light novels, which only made me more of an outcast. Aki, however, was able to grow up fine from there, and it made me happy, even just a little bit.

Aki.

The sight from before I fell asleep flashed back in my head.

“Mai… Is there anything happening outside?”

“Not that I know of, unl-”

Before she finished, I was already getting up and walking to the window.

The swarm outside came into view fast.

My head began to hurt, it felt like there were knives lodged in my neck.

...My heart told me I had to go back for him.

“Mai… Get everyone together, I have to go back for Aki.”

“...Alright, I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“...I can’t wait. I’m going now. Just catch up with me.”

I didn’t give her a chance to respond before I had already finished putting on my gear and was leaping down the stairwell. Mai called out to me, but stopped herself and went to get Mathieu when she knew I was long gone. Izz and Lila had also called out to me, but my senses were blurring and I couldn’t make out what they were saying in my headlong sprint into hell.

The dead of night was unchanging in this hellscape. I passed by some Turned stragglers, but precisely dispatched them in an instant, not losing my momentum. The adrenaline pulsing through my veins made me run faster and longer than I ever should have been capable of. I wasn’t paying attention to time, and was just dashing towards the square once again.

…

That idiot.

I was worried about Shin. I knew he could handle himself against these things, but nothing made me feel completely sure of the fact he pushed everyone away and mindlessly charged in. It wasn’t like him, honestly. Something snapped in him, and I knew it was because he remembered his father and the fact he gave away his innocence to protect his brother’s.

Sigh.

I wanted him to wait for me so I could back him up and ensure he couldn’t hurt himself. As much as I want Shin to be happy, I can’t have the boy who pulled me out of my isolated trance die on me.

I don’t care about his brother, or anyone else. I just want Shin to be safe above all else, and I have a responsibility to ensure that as well.

But no way I would waste time whining about this right now. I quickly located Mathieu in the control room and gave him the situation in a flash so we could regroup with Shin as fast as possible. Moments later, Lena and Lukas got back to the building from their supply run, saying they had also seen Shin bolt towards the square. Lila and Izz turned around, and I explained his dilemma without wasting a second. The other four dropped their current obligations and we took off for Shin.

…

Several hundred Turned were swarming the ground around the auditorium. I could see a few dozen people fending them off, most of them aimlessly hacking away at them to no avail as I had done not long ago. I couldn’t see Aki, or anyone I recognized from outside the square though.

No other options.

I was about to rush into the square and try to cut my way through the swarm, but I was interrupted mere seconds after I had made up my mind.

It stepped out from an alleyway to my left. It was a Turned, but it wasn’t anything I had seen previously. No, it was about three times the size of the rest of them. Several human bodies were sprouting out from the flesh, faces and skin giving off the impression they were melting, much like the thing I saw back in the chess room.

Just another eyesore. It made me convulse, but I was dead set on getting past this thing. I wouldn’t let even my damned body hold me back.

“Out of my way!!!”

I let out a scream as I darted for the center of the thing, readying myself to jab my sword through it and pierce it’s core like the rest.

It made a swipe at me, but I swiftly ducked and regained my speed, jamming my blade deep into its chest.

I heard the familiar shattering noise.

I pulled out my blade as it shook violently in pain.

“Tch.”

After my blade was free, I wasted no time booking it and leaving this thing behind.

I felt a sharp pain in my liver and before I knew it, I was sent flying to my right. I slammed right through a window of a nearby store and crashed face first into a table. I felt my sight blurring, and clenched my face in pain.. I could feel the shards of glass I landed on digging into my chest and legs, as my entire body ached. When I looked back at my hand, it was covered in blood. Half of my sight was dark even then. The adrenaline had dulled whatever pain was in my eye‒it wasn’t enough to make me numb to all of the extreme sensory distress I was in.

My glasses had shattered.

Blood was leaking from my left eye.

My left eye was gone, basically.

My strength that the blood rushing through my veins gave me had vanished in moments, and I failed to get to my feet. The thing that I thought I killed was in perfect shape outside the window.

I remembered what was in my bag earlier.

The half-formed core.

It was different in more than one manner when I looked back.

I think it branched out in one place, and was broken in another. My gut told me this was definitely the same type of thing I had seen back at school‒this thing had to have more than one core.

I was foolish for turning my back on it.

“Ghhh...Nghhh…”

I was writhing in pain like a worm. I tried reaching for my sword, but my arm stung in response.

Haha. I was going to be out of commission for the foreseeable future. The crowd of Turned would eventually sense me and finish me in due time.

Maybe this was my punishment.

“Sorry, Mai… Aki..”

I uttered some shoddy last words as I coughed up blood.

“Shin!!!!”

Aki’s voice filled my ears, all my senses.

He saw me from outside and jumped through the same window I had crashed through. He covered his mouth at the sight of me beaten up and bloodied on the ground. He put his hand on my eye and made a dark face as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Shin… Why did you come back..?”

“.........I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I promised you I would be.”

“I know.”

“I’m happy you came back to see me, but… Not like this.”

“I know. A pathetic sight, seeing me like this, isn’t it?”

“Shin, don’t say crap like that.”

“Aki. You have to leave me behind. These things are gonna swarm me sooner or later and you’re going to get caught up in it. You’re only fourteen, it’s too early for you to die.”

Aki turned around. I smiled, until I felt an overwhelming malice sweep over me. When I looked up at Aki, I saw the Turned that downed me towering over him.

“Shin. Is this the thing that did this to you? I’ll kill it.”

He glanced back at me, grabbed my sword, and looked back outside seeking to fight it. My voice was too weak to try and change his mind.

“You’re stubborn as all hell, Shin. I suppose I picked that up from you, bro.”

He jumped back through the window and stabbed it in various spots, doing his best to avoid its now bladed appendages. I was completely powerless at that moment, as he was fighting, because of my rash behavior. The Turned slashed continuously at Aki, but he was able to pierce core after core. It seemed to have dozens of them, if the bodies hanging out of it meant anything.

He was winning. I could see his face with an expression of pure determination mixed with anger.

I heard another shatter.

The large Turned was petrified.

...But so was Aki.

Not only was my sword pierced through the beast’s center once more, but one of the bladed arms was jammed through Aki’s chest in turn.

Why are humans so fragile?

I asked myself that, as I watched the brother I came back to save, die before my very eyes.

He moved his mouth‒nothing came out.

He realized this, and just smiled.

He and the Turned fell to the ground, and the Turned dissipated. My sword was driven into the ground where the Turned once laid.

I knew he was gone.

So fragile… like glass.

I thought to myself again in the face of my brother’s death.

It was my fault.

The only thing my body was able to let me do was cry.

My eyes shut.

I sat where I was against the collapsed table, all I could feel was confliction. I sank into emptiness, and lost consciousness.

I soon felt a gentle warmth, and opened my eyes one more time to see Mai embracing me. I was dazed, as I saw the others outside clearing out Turned.

We didn’t say anything.

She just hugged me in silence, and I tried my best to lift my arms to do the same.

By the time it was all over, she spoke.

“I’m happy I could pay back the debt I owed to Shin for everything. I knew what he did back then, and everything he had on his shoulders. Mom told me all of it one day, and I thought it was best to pay that back by living my life to the fullest all the way up until now. I can’t say if that was the best choice or not, but I was always thankful to know he was looking over me regardless of how he showed it. I only hope you can make sure he can stay himself from here, and I’m sure he will. I trust in his strength, so make sure he doesn’t give it up.”

Mai retold Aki’s last words that he told her to relay to me.

...Fragile like glass.

The words echoed, and the pain in my eye pulsed as if it was reminding me of something.

...Broken to pieces, it becomes as sharp as a knife.

That’s right.