Chapter 34 - the night of the festival…maybe its time to accept it….

Still in school.

Still wearing my suit.

Still staring down from the window.

The sound of music floats through the glass—laughter, joy, energy I can’t quite touch.

Below, the others are already having fun. Sylvia’s twirling her glowstick like she’s in a music video, dragging Priscilla and Hana into her weird rhythm. Mariam and Amin? They’re laughing over something by the stalls—probably food again. Classic.

It’s a well-deserved night. After everything… they’ve earned it.

And me? I’m still here. Alone.

Still leaning against the window. Still watching.

I didn’t realize it had been nearly thirty minutes since I called Natalie.

That sweet talk… her voice… always softens something in me. Like even when I’m breaking inside, she’s the only one who knows how to thread me back together.

I sigh.

…Hope I have enough credit to pay that phone bill. Damn.

I slowly turn away from the glass.

Start heading down the hallway—each step heavy.

The corridor echoes with distant beats from the festival stage outside. The bass, the voices, the celebration… but I’m not really hearing it.

My thoughts are somewhere else.

The past.

All the pain. All the weight. The things we said earlier… the things we remembered…

And somehow, it all leads me back here.

Back to this moment.

Again.

While I head towards back thinking about it.

When I step back into the hall…

Well—

Everyone’s enjoying themselves like it’s the end of the school year, not just some random Monday night.

Streamers hang crooked from the ceiling, colored lights flicker across the floor like a half-baked disco, and someone’s blasting pop from the side speaker.

It’s loud. It’s chaotic. And somehow… it’s warm.

Then—

“HEEEEY ALEX!!! WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN!?”

A voice barrels through the noise like a rogue cannonball.

I turn, only to see both Mr. Rahman and Mr. Rahim standing in the middle of the stage like they’re about to reenact an anime rivalry scene. They’re not even trying to hide it.

"Oi, Commander!" one of the students laughs, "The Pirate Captain is about to challenge you to a duel!"

Groans and laughter follow. Of course.

Classic Buccaneers vs. Patriots teacher drama.

I sigh, dragging myself to a nearby chair and slumping into it. My black jacket crumples beneath me as I glance around at the wild theatre unfolding.

Yeah… what the hell am I even doing here.

Part of me wants to laugh.

Another part… wants to leave.

But instead, my thoughts start drifting—again—back to LA. Back to that rooftop with Natalie. Her voice. That stupid vending machine. Her tears. My scars.

A small smile tries to creep in—until—

“HEY EVERYONE!!!” Mariam’s voice suddenly cuts through the air like a firecracker.

She stands on stage, arms wide, practically glowing with mischief.

Everyone quiets down.

A few necks crane toward her, others just raise their phones—because of course, if Mariam’s grabbing the mic, something’s going down.

She twirls it once and clears her throat. “Sooo… I wanna dedicate this next one… to someone who’s acting a little tipsytonight.”

Tipsy?

I blink.

Wait. What the hell does that mean?

Amin looks like he wants to disappear into the crowd. Too late—Mariam’s already dragging him by the arm toward center stage.

“No escape! You’re part of this now!” she grins.

Then she cues the music—and just like that, it turns into a full-on concert.

She starts dancing like she’s on a variety show, mic in one hand, hips moving way too confidently for someone in a school hall.

Everyone’s either laughing, filming, or clapping along like this is a televised finale.

We’re in a damn school, for Allah’s sake…

And yet… somehow…

Even as I sigh and shake my head…

A small chuckle escapes me.

This chaos…

This moment…

Feels strangely okay.

I glance across the hall and spot Shinji.

He's grinning ear to ear, sleeves rolled up, happily chatting with a few juniors as he helps stack chairs. Huh… kid’s actually fitting in well.

No… more than that.

He's comfortable now.

Like he's always belonged here.

Somehow… all ends well.

Well, mostly.

“Where have you been?” a familiar voice calls out behind me, sharp and motherly.

I turn. It's mom. Arms crossed. Eyebrow raised.

“You’re missing all of it,” she chides.

“Huh? Yeah… nothing though.” I shrug.

She narrows her eyes. “I know you called Nat.”

…Is mom psychic now?

“Uh… okay? So?”

She gives me that look—you know, the one that drills straight through your skull. “So the bill is going to be up in the roof... sooo... what did you two talk about?”

I scratch the back of my head, suddenly feeling like a teenage boy again.

“We just… talked. About being together… I guess. Well… at least…”

Her expression softens. Just a bit.

“Oh. Okay.”

A moment of silence passes between us.

Then, I find myself blurting it out.

“Hey, Mom… about Marina… do you know where the place is?”

She pauses, tilting her head.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, about her... it’s in Kundasang. Why?”

“I plan to visit. Just… to visit her.”

“Yeah, you must,” she nods gently. “It’s been a while. You haven’t gone back to her place in years.”

“Yeah… maybe this weekend?”

“Then it’s settled. Family trip it is.”

“Yep.”

Just like that.

No hesitation. No awkwardness.

Maybe… that’s the kind of support I need right now.

After the event winds down, everyone begins heading home.

The hall's a mess of confetti, half-popped balloons, and forgotten paper cups. Music still lingers in the air like a fading echo.

Mom, Hana, Steward, Siti, Tama, and Dad wave goodbye as they step out into the night. The headlights from the car flash once, then disappear around the corner.

Meanwhile, the rest of us remain behind—Student Council and a few loyal victims—cleaning up what’s left of our chaotic Monday night.

Mariam claps her hands together, full of pride. “This event is a huge success!!”

Amin groans, arms deep in a trash bag. “Yeah, except now we have to do the cleaning…”

Shinji, ever the eager underclassman, is sprinting across the hall with a broom nearly twice his size.

“Don’t worry, sempai!! I got this!!”

“Yeah, like hell I’m letting you clean it all by yourself—we have class tomorrow!!” Amin shouts, clearly exhausted.

Shinji just keeps running. He’s like a whirlwind. A hyperactive sidekick on caffeine.

Some of the girls giggle at the sight.

I lean against a wall, watching it all unfold.

The mess. The banter. The noise.

And yet, somehow…

It feels peaceful.

Like for once—we’re all just allowed to breathe.

A sharp pain shoots through my right ear.

"OW–!! What the hell—?!"

Sylvia is yanking my ear like I’m some kindergarten kid caught eating glue.

"Dumbass!!" she snaps. "Quit spacing out and help me clean!!"

"Tch… fine, fine!" I groan, snatching a broom nearby. “Bossy much.”

We’re still stuck cleaning the hall after the festival chaos. Tables, chairs, confetti, and random slippers lying around—like a tornado of teenage energy just exploded in here. Everyone else already left.

But we stick it out.

And by the time we finally finish... it’s already midnight.

The school grounds are silent now. The air is cooler, almost serene. The hum of the insects, the soft rattle of leaves—only broken by our tired footsteps.

All of us gather outside the front gate, shadows stretching under the streetlights.

"So… see you tomorrow, guys!!" Mariam waves energetically, her usual spark still alive even past midnight.

Amin just yawns, rubbing his eyes. "If I even wake up tomorrow…"

The others slowly scatter into the night.

Sylvia stays behind, standing by my Kawasaki Zephyr. She adjusts her sexy dress, then tucks her bobbed hair behind her ear as she gives me that look.

“You riding?” I ask, handing her the helmet.

She slides it on without a word.

And we ride.

The streets are quiet, save for the low purring of the bike engine. Streetlights blur past us like fireflies caught in motion. We’re not rushing. Just cruising slow, letting the cool breeze carry our thoughts.

Then her voice breaks the silence.

"Why weren’t you around just now…?" Sylvia asks, arms lightly holding my waist from behind.

"Not really my kind of thing," I answer flatly. “You know me…”

There’s a pause.

She speaks again, softer this time.

“…Still. You could’ve just stayed. At least.”

The guilt presses down slightly. But she’s right.

I slow the bike just a little more.

“Yeah… I guess I felt a little nostalgic,” I admit. "Seeing you guys laughing like that."

A faint chuckle escapes her. "Really?"

I glance at her in the side mirror. The soft glow of the streetlight hits her face just right—her deep eyes, faint smile. Even under the helmet, she looks... effortlessly beautiful.

Yeah... there’s no doubt about it.

She is beautiful.

But I quickly look away, hiding whatever thought’s trying to claw its way up my throat.

I’ve already got enough in my head. And my heart.

Once we get back home, it’s already past midnight. The house is quiet—eerily peaceful, like even the walls are asleep.

Everyone's lights are out. Even the wind outside sounds drowsy.

Sylvia stands beside me at the hallway corner, arms folded, her face softened by moonlight from the nearby window.

“Well… good night,” she says with a faint smile, the kind that hides a hundred feelings.

“Yeah… night.”

She turns and walks into her room, her steps light but purposeful. I wave lazily even though she probably doesn’t see it.

Then I head to mine.

The creak of the door greets me like an old friend.
I toss my jacket over the chair, fall into my seat, and let out a tired sigh.

Everything feels still.

Too still.

The kind of silence where memories start whispering.

I open my laptop. The soft glow of the screen is the only light now.
The fans whirr quietly, and then— ping!

1 new email.

Sender: Natalie Hawk
Subject: Hey you.

I blink.
Click.

Dear Alex,

I had a wonderful time chatting with you tonight. It’s crazy how we always end up talking until the stars are gone.

When we talked about our memories... about Faiz… Marina… everyone…

I found something I didn’t expect.

Just wanted to share it with you.

Love ya.
– Nat 💛

There's an attachment.

IMG_0427.JPG

I click it open.

And my chest tightens instantly.

It's that picture.

A faded, sun-drenched photo of our childhood—taken during one of those perfect afternoons that felt like they’d never end.

There we are…

Luna with her signature crooked grin.
Adinor flashing the peace sign with smudges of mud on his cheeks.
Natalie leaning on my shoulder, both of us laughing like idiots.
And…

Faiz and Marina.

Right there.

Frozen in time.

Faiz with his usual mischief in his eyes.
Marina making a face while clutching a watermelon, mid-argument with Natalie.

I stare at the screen.

The cursor hovers.

A hollow warmth wells in my chest.

“…Oh… that picture…”

I whisper it to no one.

The ache in my heart isn’t painful anymore.

It’s… quiet. Gentle. Like the final note of a lullaby after tears.

I lean back in my chair, eyes locked on the photo.

“Thanks, Nat…”

For remembering what matters.
For remembering them.
For remembering us.

The room stays still.
Even the ticking clock seems to pause, as if time itself is holding its breath for me.
But something inside… quietly shifts.

It’s not loud.
Not dramatic.
Just—real.
Like a single drop falling into a still pond.
And the ripples… they carry something forward.

I lean back in my chair, the light from the laptop dimming into sleep mode, casting the room into a soft blue glow.

That photo… still lingers in my mind.
Faiz’s laughter.
Marina’s teasing smirk.
Natalie’s warm smile.
And me—somehow in the middle of it all, like I belonged there all along.

For a moment, I don’t feel broken.
For a moment, I feel whole.

I close my eyes.
Letting the silence wrap around me like a familiar blanket.

“Tomorrow…” I whisper.

My voice fades, just like the wind brushing gently outside the window.

Tomorrow might be chaos.
Might be laughter.
Might be… painful.

But I’ll meet it.

Because I have people who walked with me through the darkness.
People who held me when I was falling apart.
People who loved me, even when I didn’t know how to love myself.

So for now—

I breathe in deep.
The scent of old books, fresh linen, and a fading December breeze lulls me to sleep.

And in the gentle dark…

I wait for the next day.