Chapter 9:

Chapter 9: The Weight of Emotion

The God Who Chose an Introvert


------------------Flashback / Old World Memories------------------

Random noises echoed from the TV.

Loud voices. Commercials. Static.

Mom's voice, sharap and panicked, pierced through it all.

"WHAT—HOW!?" she shouted into the phone.

Sobbing, Crying "I'll come as soon as possible…" she said, her voice trembling with grief.

Dad was still at work.

"Kira, your grandfather's been admitted to the hospital…" sobbing "I need to go."

"Do you both want to come with me?" she asked, voice heavy.

"I can't, Mom. My 3rd year junior high finals are coming up. My little brother's exam's coming too," I replied.

"I'll ask your dad to get me a cab. Just… study well. Don't fight while I'm gone. Eat properly," she said, trying to be strong even in her broken state.

Grandpa lived 3–4 hours away. I didn't want to travel that far. I didn't understand her emotions. I was too focused on myself.

Mom returned after a day, but Grandpa's condition worsened. She had to go back again and again. Dad couldn't go with her—he couldn't get leave from work.

About a week later, the call came. Grandpa had passed away.

Mom cried. Her brothers consoled her. The house was somber. Everyone felt the weight of grief. Except me. I just didn't get it.

Years passed. I grew up. Began to understand emotions better. Instead of being annoying, I became... withdrawn. Scared. Quiet.

A year after college graduation. One evening, Dad came home. His left sleeve was torn, his left arm was broken. A minor scooter accident. He was able to recover after few months.

Half a year later.

Phone rings.

Unknown number.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Tell your brother to come to XX Hospital… bring my insurance card," Dad said in a calm, worn-out voice.

Another accident.

A green light. A man suddenly crossed the road. Dad tried to brake to save him. The car behind couldn't stop in time. Slammed into him.

Dad crashed to the ground. My brother and mom ran to the hospital. I stayed home. Housework.

Later, Mom and my brother told me what happened. The man who hit Dad wasn't some monster. Just a young guy going to work. Scared. Shaking. He drove Dad to the hospital himself. Gave him his phone. Dad told him, "It's not your fault." Told him to leave and worry not.

Then Mom showed me Dad's picture. Bruised face. Purple marks. Blood near the eye. I finally felt it—his pain.

He returned home days later. Discharged. Surgery had gone well, but he needed rest. Right arm was useless for now.

And I—I never visited him in hospital. Not once. Told myself it was fine. That it was done. What's the point of crying? But even now, I regreted it.

------------------Flashback End------------------

I had never felt emotions for others.

'Then why? Why are there so many EMOTIONS SURGING INSIDE OF ME?!' I screamed inside, unable to grasp what was happening.

'Sadness… pain… regret… anger… guilt…'

[ Hidden Trait Revealed ]
[ You who never shed a tear for another's pain… in silence you carry their suffering alone, and in your dreams, you feel each sorrow as if it were your own. ]
[ Spiritual Understanding Unlocked ]

badump (Heart beats)

'How long has she been lying here?'

My heart started beating faster

huff huff 'If—if I hadn't wasted so much time...' huff

My heartbeat thundered in my ears.

'I looked down at her.'

My eyes widened.

My chest clenched tight under my palm.

'A panic attack?' My thoughts spiraled.

My vision blurred.

She lay there, on top of a half-eaten corpse. Lifeless. Fragile. Drenched in the blood of others.

I reached out my left arm—shaking, trembling.

'I–I need to hurry…', I thought

But my feet wouldn't move.

Behind me, the beasts—those f**king orc monsters—screamed and thrashed, trying to break free from the wind chains I had bound them in.

'Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Take a deep breath…'

Inhale........

At the first step, the chained beasts shuddered .

Exhale........

With the second step, the heavens wailed in thunderous protest.

Inhale.....

As my third step landed, the sky wept , each drop heavier than the last.

Exhale...

My vision blurred with the fourth step, yet my resolve sharpened as clarity returned.

Then, with the fifth—my final footfall—the tempest stilled. All at once, the wind surrendered, the rain hushed, and the world held its breath around me.

Silence.

I stood before the child.

No magic. No force.

Just my hands.

One arm slid beneath her back, the other under her knees, cradling the little creature gently.

Rainwater poured from her soaked clothes, mixing with the blood of corpses. Her skin pale. Her breath barely there.

The stench of flesh and death clung to her like a second skin.

I looked down at the child's face—her lips cracked, dry as parchment. Her eyes were hidden beneath matted bangs of coal-black hair.
Then, as if responding to a silent cue, the wind whispered across her forehead, parting her hair to reveal those eyes—white pupils like fading light in pitch-black irises.
I felt the chilled air brush my cheeks.
This time, I didn't use magic to destroy…
I used it to purify.

Separating every polluted particle in the air, I directed only the cleanest, most pristine current toward her fragile body.

'Before she eats or drinks anything, I need to stabilize her. Her body's too far gone for sudden nourishment,' I thought, carefully controlling the wind flow around her.

'Sebas' ,I called silently.

[ Here, Master ]

A bottle of water appeared in midair at the height of my head—summoned from the void. It didn't fall, just hovered as if cradled by invisible hands.
I twisted the cap off with a flick of air magic. The bottle tilted slowly, but the water didn't spill. It floated like liquid glass, forming soft spheres in the air.
The droplets moved delicately, inching toward the child's lips.

A single drop touched her mouth.

She stirred.

Her lips parted weakly, instinctively.
I gently lifted her back, propping her into a partial sitting position.
The water trickled past her lips, and she gulped it down, feebly opening her mouth again for more.

She drank.

And again.

And again.

'Sorry, little one… I can't let you drink it all at once. Your body isn't ready for that. One wrong move, and you'll go into shock,' I thought bitterly.

Her lips, once lifeless, had begun to regain color.

My heartbeat slowed.

But the storm of regret, pain, sorrow… and pity—those didn't go away.

'I need to find a place where she can eat.' I thought, standing amidst the ruined battlefield.

Her eyes, wide and innocent, looked up at me.

In that moment, everything inside me changed.

The guilt. The sorrow. The suffocating regret.

Gone.

In its place bloomed something I hadn't felt in years—
happiness.

The lump in my throat finally loosened. My voice—once strangled by silence—was free.

I didn't know what to say… so I smiled.

My eyes, once mirrors of grief, now shimmered with hope.

I turned.

"Let's get you somewhere you can eat in peace", I said gently and started walking.

'I'll break the bread into tiny pieces so she doesn't choke. She's had some water—I'll give her the rest of the bottle so she can drink freely now,' I thought as I started walking with her in my arms.

She tilted her head slightly, trying to look around.

Suddenly, water floated past her face like a tiny spirit. Her eyes widened in awe.

The floating drop formed a bubble. She tried reaching it but couldn't muster the strength at first — until, as if in response, the wind gently lifted her arms. She reached out, curious. It popped gently on her face, and the water trickled down.

She didn't speak. Just looked at me for answers.

I smiled faintly.

The wind brushed her face, drying the remnants.

"You can rest now. Don't worry about anything," I said, looking into her fading eyes.

Her eyelids fluttered… and closed. Trusting me.

She fell asleep in my arms.

'Is there no healing skill in the shop, Sebas?' I asked softly.

[ Apologies, Master. Healing requires a Holy Power affinity. It's not available in the shop. ]
[ Unlike the four elements, people aren't born with Holy affinity here. It must be awakened—either through years of prayer or being baptized by a high-ranking pope ]

'And I can't give her a class… her body would be torn apart by the process' ,I thought grimly.

[ Indeed. Even adults would suffer during the process. For someone in her condition, it would be unbearable. ]

'Even the bonus skill Kai gave me—it's useless now' ,I muttered.

[ Yes, Master. While the skill lets you bestow any ability you possess —or purchase from the shop—it's a one-time action per skill. They can't be reclaimed and each skill can be bought only once from shop. ]
[ And it causes mild mental strain when transmitting the knowledge ]

'I never intended to waste points on these, even if the idea had potential. After all, I planned to assign classes to those who were replaceable—expendable, even if they died. So there was no need to waste investing skills to them.', I admitted coldly.

[ Even if her body weren't broken, your original plan to use Regeneration would have only helped slightly. ]

I looked at the sky.

The clouds finally broke. Moonlight bathed the land in silver.

'It's getting late. I'll set up camp and let her eat,' I thought, glancing down at her peaceful face.

[ As instructed, I used wind to scan the area. No other life signs remain. Only the child survived. ]

'I wonder what she was doing there… all alone' ,I thought as we stepped deeper into the forest.'

Thick trees surrounded us like silent sentinels.

Then, a sickening realization hit me.

'Wait… Am I forgetting something?'

[ The orc mage, Master ]

'Ah… right. I planned to let it witness the destruction before killing it. But I suppose I'll let it live in trauma,' I thought, uncaring.

'Might cause trouble later… but I'm not responsible for others. I already wiped an entire settlement for others. Also i can't be bothered going all the way back.', I concluded as we moved into the darkness of the woods.

Moonlight behind me, warmth in my arms, and the guilt of my past trailing quietly behind.

to be continued.....

Author's Note:

We’ve stepped away from carnage and into something more human in this chapter. It’s still soaked in death, but now... there’s a pulse of life in Kira’s journey. This isn’t redemption—but it might be the start of one. Chapter 10 is where things will pick up again. Thoughts? Theories? I’m reading them all.

Still no one caught the reference I slipped into Chapter 7?
I was genuinely hoping someone would notice it by now. I even planned to let the first two people who spotted it suggest a name for the child. (Keyword: suggest. I’m not going to name a major character “Gojo Jr.” or something wild—only well-thought-out names will be considered.)

So here's your chance: You’ve got 2 days to reread Chapter 7, find the reference, and suggest a good name before I move on and start writing the next chapter. (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Note: The child is already named but maybe i'll ask name for future characters.