Getting in Costume (2)

Elvira had a rather unique atmosphere compared to my brief glimpses of the other brand name stores. Despite its grand opulence, it reminded me of one of those mom-and-pop shops: a small yet welcoming business. The space was used just right, displaying their products like a museum exhibit, accented by the beige walls. Even the associates seemed affable with warm smiles all around.

The other brand name stores were nothing like this. While the setup was about the same, there was an overwhelming aura of grandeur. One step inside, and you were transported into a different world, unwelcoming to those of lower pedigree. Sure, their clothes might be familiar to those of my world, but that disdain made me consider leaving, though I was kicked out before I could ponder further.

Regardless, this looked like the place to get my suit, assuming they sold any.

“Um, excuse me,” I called to the closest associate.

“Yes? How may I help you?”

“I’m looking to purchase–”

“A suit, perhaps?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Wait…” That didn’t come from the associate. I turned around, only to come face to face with a juxtaposition. He seemed like a man in a woman’s body, or was she a woman in a man’s body? From one angle, his slick black tuxedo bulged slightly, displaying his toned muscles. From the other, her face had a sort of delicate, innocent expression that made you want to protect her. His brusque tone belied the curiosity of an old man, while her mannerisms were meant to allure and constrict. The overarching androgyny was impossible to resolve one way or the other.

“Ah, welcome back, sir.”

“Sir?” Is he a man then?

“I am Elvira, the proprietress of this humble store,” he introduced with a bow, one that was strikingly similar to my own when I streamed.

“H-hello,” I managed to get out, a bit awkwardly.

“No need to be so nervous, I don’t bite. We can definitely make a suit of your liking,” he teased, ignoring my inner turmoil. “Will that be all? We not only sell suits and tuxedos…” Elvira disappeared behind me for a brief moment. “...we have plenty of dresses to choose from as well.” When she circled back around, her suit had changed into a gorgeous red dress, putting her ample assets front and center. Where in the world did they come from?!? He… she’s not even using magic!

“Um, just the suits please,” I averted my eyes, stumbling over my words. Her similar personality really threw me off, especially since I could tell she enjoyed watching me struggle, for one reason or another.

“Of course, of course. Let’s get started then.”

“Yes, madam,” the nearby associates responded, following behind Elvira. Wait, she’s a woman? Are they both? Agh… I’ll just… ignore it.

In an instant, I was whisked away into one of the back rooms, standing on a wooden platform a few inches above the ground. A mirror covered the whole length of the wall, allowing me to see the entire room no matter which direction I faced.

Somehow, in that brief window, Elvira changed into a new pair of clothes, mimicking the swing dresses and petticoats of the 1950s in the U.S. Her assets had also shrunk to a more modest size. Does her body change at will too?!? But how?!? Where’s the magic?!? Aghghgh…

“Eyes ahead, young merchant,” Elvira chaffed.

“H-huh? O-oh, sorry. But, I’m not a merchant.”

“Is that so? Did you come into money recently then?”

My eyes widened. “How did you know?”

“Well, normally, the lower castes group suits, dresses, or anything nobles wear into ‘fancy clothes’ since it’s much simpler. You know what a suit is, and with your dirty clothes, it seems likely that you are a small merchant trying to reach clients from the upper caste. However, since you’re not a merchant, while it isn’t common, there are some lower castes who are well educated in some eloquent vocabulary, which led me to that guess.”

“Wow,” I was thoroughly impressed by her insight, but… “Is that a problem?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, can I still shop here?”

“Why not? If you have the cash, what else matters?” she shrugged.

One of the associates brought forth a suit covered in a garment bag, quickly taking it out before passing it off to Elvira. “Now, I imagine you are looking for something like this, correct?”

She read me perfectly. The black suit and accompanying tie completely resembled my outfit from the cooking show, sans the apron. Though compared to that, this suit had a lot more detail and texture compared to the matte black my mind could conjure. I instinctively reached for it, ready to buy, but the proprietress had an unsatisfied look on her face.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Hmm, no matter how I look at it. I don’t think this outfit suits you.”

“Huh? Why not?” It was great, almost too great. Actually, it was scary how much I liked it.

“In my opinion, it seems too… plain. Yes, plain.”

“Plain?”

“See, behind that demure facade you’re stuck behind, you’re rather similar to me. I can see hints of your bombastic chaos, ready to break out.”

“Really…? Then what would you choose?”

“I think… P4 should do nicely.”

“Of course, madam,” the associate went out once again, bringing back a different garment-bagged suit.

I wasn’t sure what she was on about, but the minute she took out the suit, my heart stopped, or at least it felt like it did. Everything about it was completely absurd, from its color to its clashing top hat. And yet, like the Maryland flag, it somehow worked.

“So, what do you say?” she said with a victorious smirk.

She caught me, hook, line, and sinker.