Episode 76 - Shota's MBO—Managed by Obsession

【A new fiscal year had begun】
And at Ryoko and Shota’s company, everyone was now busy with their MBOs—Management by Objectives—setting work-related goals, determining strategies for achieving them, and evaluating the results. Today marked Shota’s first MBO meeting with Ryoko as his supervisor. But when he looked over the goals Ryoko had prepared for him, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

____________________________________________________________________________________

【FY202X – Shota's MBO Goal Setting Sheet】

Goal 1: Maintain Section Chief Ryoko’s emotional state at over 90% positivity on a monthly average

KPI: Judged by the section chief’s subjective assessment (ASK Ryoko), along with AI-based mood analysis via internal office cameras

Goal 2: Voluntarily provide sweets or tea at least three times a week to increase the “pampering rate”

KPI: Number of times the section chief says “Yay~♡” (12 or more per month)

Goal 3: Submit a weekly near-miss report to preempt any major incidents that might lead to a “punishment/curse activation”

KPI: Zero punishments/curses per month

____________________________________________________________________________________

Shota: “KPI means like, a performance indicator, right?”

Ryoko: “That’s right. KPI stands for Key Performance Indicator. It’s a slightly cooler way to say ‘measurement standard,’ isn’t it?♡”

Shota: “…But are you sure this counts as a company MBO?”

Ryoko beamed and replied,

“Of course♡ My mood is absolutely essential to the productivity of this department and the company as a whole. Take a look at this chart.”

She pulled up a line graph on her laptop showing the correlation between her emotional score and the department’s monthly sales performance.

“See? The trend is clear. When my emotional score is up, the department does well. This chart was even used at a company exec meeting♡”

Shota: “…So what happened this month when sales shot up?”

Ryoko: “Oh come on, you don’t remember? That’s the month you and I first met~♡♡♡”

Shota: “…Then this dip a few months later—what happened here?”

Ryoko’s face darkened instantly.

“Minus points. Emotional positivity score -30%. That was when that girl Akari tried to steal you away… You really need to be more considerate with your questions, Shota-kun. This is exactly why you get into trouble! 😤”

(*Note: EP6–EP11, Ryoko did temporarily lose Shota to the new hire Akari, leaving her deeply traumatized.)

Shota: “…And this dramatic recovery here, where we hit record profits—was that when we got married?”

Ryoko: “Bingo. If I’m not in a good mood, I don’t work. So the company made it official policy to treat my happiness as part of our strategy. That’s why your MBO goals and KPIs were approved all the way up to the president.”

Shota: “Wait, wait! Isn’t this just a glorified ‘Keep Ryoko Happy’ system!? And does the president know about the ‘pampering,’ ‘punishments,’ and ‘curses’?! This is super embarrassing!”

Ryoko: “It’s fine! Officially, they’re classified as psychological terms. And remember, this is about balancing love and work. I’m guiding you—not just as an ideal subordinate—but into becoming the ideal husband♡”

Shota: “…I feel like this is very different from the coaching techniques we learned in our management training…”

Ryoko: “Minus points again. Emotional score -10%. Aww, now I don’t feel like working at all~🥱”

Just then, the warning light🚨 on the meeting room’s ceiling camera📹 blinked on, followed immediately by Shota’s company phone ringing.

Department Head: “Hey, Shota. Don’t upset Section Chief Takahashi. That’s an official work order, understood?”

Shota: (Oh no… they’re really enforcing these KPIs…)

____________________________________________________________________________________

【Strategy Discussion for Goal Achievement】

Ryoko: “Alright, let’s talk about how to achieve these goals, shall we?♡”

She cleared her throat and switched into meeting mode.

Ryoko: “Goal 1—Keeping me at 90% or more emotional positivity. Any ideas?”

Shota: “Uh… how about starting each day with ‘Good morning, you look gorgeous today’?”

Ryoko: “Oooh♡ I like that. Also, please start calling me ‘my adorable wife.’”

Shota: “Calling you ‘wife’ in the office… that’s going to raise some eyebrows.”

Ryoko: “Then you can call me ‘princess’ instead♡”

Shota: (Nope, that’s even worse!)

Ryoko: “Next, Goal 2—bringing sweets and tea. Based on previous data, I’m especially weak to cheesecake and pudding.”

Shota: “You’re just giving away your boss battle weaknesses… (No FromSoftware boss would ever do this, lol)”

Ryoko: “Three times a week means 12 times a month, so you’ll need at least four kinds to rotate. It’s all reimbursable, so make sure to take notes♡”

Shota: (This isn’t an evaluation—it’s a walkthrough guide…)

Ryoko: “Last one, Goal 3—near-miss reporting. Any recent incidents where you were almost punished or cursed?”

Shota: “Um… I guess that time I ended up having lunch alone with a female coworker because I forgot to decline the invite?”

Ryoko: “…Oh my! That’s a high-risk situation! If she had hugged you, I would’ve immediately sensed it and launched a Major Incident Protocol. That’s a near-miss. Please submit your report by the end of the day♡”

Shota: “There’s no penalty for submitting a near-miss report, right? Just to be clear?”

Ryoko: “Two near-misses and you’re getting punished/cursed, so be careful♡”

Shota: “You never told me that! Stop adding hidden rules like it’s a yellow card turning red system!!”

____________________________________________________________________________________

【Shota’s Reverse-MBO for Ryoko】

Shota: “Actually… I’ve got something I want to give you too, Section Chief.”

Ryoko: “Oh? From you? I’ll happily accept anything you want to give me♡”

Shota: “Right… It’s a ‘Ryoko’s MBO Goals for This Term’ list…”

Goal 1: Before activating any curses, take three deep breaths and consider whether Shota might not be at fault.

Goal 2: Try listening to Shota’s full excuse at least once a month.

Goal 3: Stop using telekinesis to tickle Shota while at work (he’s extremely ticklish under the arms).

Ryoko stared at him silently for a moment, then grinned with a mischievous sparkle in her eye. She wiggled her fingers in front of him.

Ryoko: “Tiiickle punishmeeeent~♡”

ZAAAP!!

Shota: “GYAAAH!! You’re using telekinesis on my armpits again! Please no! That’s my weak spottttt!!!”

Shota flailed wildly in front of Ryoko.

Ryoko: “You can mark all of your reverse-MBO goals as ‘not achieved.’♡”

Shota: “That’s so unfair!!!”

(Narration) —Once again, Shota’s MBO results hit peak performance, powered by Ryoko’s love and obsession—

Next up: Miki’s MBO!