|::| Prologue — Listen.

Hello ladies and gentlemen,

STOP right there.

Don’t scroll past me—hey!

Yes, you.

*cough cough*

*Ahem.*

So, what I’m trying to say is—

I’m just a scientist.

Not a doctor.

No license. No clinic.

Just… borderline biology and questionable charm.

So if you’re here for a cure—

DO. NOT. BELIEVE. ME.

(*points dramatically at your face*)

Just read.

Vibe.

And maybe ask your friend, AI,

if what I said is true.

(Spoiler: it’s probably more accurate than you expected.)

[!] Caution: Emotional side effects may apply.

A Little Warning Before We Begin:

(¬_¬") You might laugh. Or cry. Or both.

This isn’t medical advice.

This isn’t therapy.

It’s half science, half emotional damage,

and a sprinkle of poetry you didn’t ask for.

If you feel seen, called out, or slightly attacked?

Good.

That means the spell is working.

Proceed with curiosity—

and maybe grab some water.

Don’t dehydrate your kidneys crying.

———-Fenzaar

(The actual scientist—not a witch)