Episode 5.2 - Big Imp, Little Imp, Copyright Box - Part 2/2

"That said," Lila continues, shattering my moment of reverie and newfound appreciation for her kindness, "You got past that first body, but who's to say this one is the right fit?"

    "Huh? I mean, of course it is. You didn't like that ogre form because you are a girl, you're meant to be small and cute and pretty - it’s different for men."
Lila raises an eyebrow, "Oh yes? How very gendered of you. Also didn't know you thought I was 'small, cute and pretty', almost makes me want to ignore the undertones of that sentence."

"I--" I wish you could control blushing, seriously, man. I mean, what can I say, those things are true, simple as that. Lila is about Eshu's size, her thin limbs withstanding, that is. Her breasts are smaller than some but still quite perky, and her hips are very wide indeed. Considering her legs taper off into little more than sticks, she has rather nice thighs. More than the physical, she has a sense of self-assuredness in how she holds herself that demands you look her way.

There is a certain grace and dignity in her manner, which is impressive given that she's always floating. Her bright eyes, pointy ears and beloved fang, all paint an absolute picture of a cute face, what can I say against that?

 But none of that has anything to do with my past disagreements. Characters in games and anime can be hot as hell, that's why we buy figurines, posters and other less savoury things. Looking good doesn’t give her the right to enslave or boss us around. And trying to explain masculinity to her! Now that is surely fruitless, she wouldn't understand it.
Men have to be big and reliable - have to be strong - otherwise, what are we even worth to women?

"Look, I'll bet those Demon Lords from your homeland, the ones you say will pop out of their bunkers whenever the dust settles, I bet they are all massive guys, right?"
    Lila considers this, and I look down at the Estolpfo work squads trying to rein myself in a little before I start being rude again. Even those skeletons are uniformly strong-bodied, and they literally lack flesh and muscles. It's just the way of things.

"I guess," she says.

"There see--"

"Let me finish, geez. They are definitely fit, I won't deny that. In our military, a general sets the example; they have to be fit."
    Perhaps Earth's leaders could learn a thing or two there... 

"But there's fit and then there's muscle-bound giants. There is one, Herc is so big and wide he wouldn't fit through a single doorway of this place, he has a twelve pack, abs bigger than whole people."

"Right, sounds very manly."

"Well ya, except he's dumb as a rock! Ok, well, that's not entirely fair. Leading a military is pretty hard, and it's something he can't do. All the other demon lords rule a branch of the armed forces, but not him; he just has a strike force, commanded by his advisors. I filled in once when they were on vacation--"

"Demons go on vacation?"
     Lila gives me a look like I'm an imbecile, "Well, duh, obviously. Anyway, the point being, he might be the physically strongest Demon Lord, but that's it. The outright most powerful has to be Mist, so strong the Sovereign recognised him as his greatest rival."

"I thought the Lords served the Sovereign?"
       Another withering expression, "Of course they do, but they're demon lords! At the first chance they get, they'll stab their king and take his place. Mist, well, it takes dozens of powerful mages to summon a being like Chultu, but only one person can be at the centre. The channelling node, you could say, and no doubt Mist will have been the one who summoned that behemoth we saw tearing up cities a few days ago. And well, he's fit but not shredded.           Shorter than you, no majorly apparent muscles, not unattractive or anything. He looks after himself without excess."

"Well," I grumble, hating how petty I sound, "Good for him. He's some super mage, you say?  There you go then, he's got that going for him, I don't. Men, men aren't like women, you can pick and choose your partners, you have beauty or cuteness or sexyness - for men we have to be this one way, it's the only winning choice."

"That sounds less like some sort of empowerment and more like self-hate. You believe all this, even if that means being as uncomfortable now as you were before?"

"I'll never be that uncomfortable again. Just a bit clumsy is all."

Lila shakes her head, "I can't say for sure how it works for humans, but I don't think I'd like you less if you had fewer muscles or were a couple of inches shorter. It sounds to me like you've got some pretty firm convictions on the matter based entirely in your head and not on reality."

I snap at that, spin on my heel and close in on Lila. Accidentally, more than anything, she floats back automatically, bumping against the wall of the fortress.
     Instinctively, one of my hands shoots out and slams the stone surface next to her, "What would you know about it?! You could have any man you want, every man you want. You're not like me, you can't understand me! I'm never going back to being that worthless pig, that fat, ugly, big enough to be on those TV shows, person, ok? You got that? Comprendo lady?"

Lila did look satisfyingly shoujo-heroine-surprised for just a fleeting moment, but it quickly turns to one of her more reliable looks. She leans her face right into mine and whispers, "-_-, your hand is bleeding."

"What?"

"You misjudged your punch; you've busted your knuckles against the rock."

I stare at her, then at my hand and all the blood it is leaking.

****

We're sitting on the grass bank of the hill now, not far from where we were before, my blood probably still clinging to where I hit the wall. It's gone past midday while we've chatted, almost lunchtime. One Estolpfo work shift swaps for another as Lila uses her magic to heal my hand.
    "Once they're done with the anti-radiation windmills, I'll have to get them working on some boroughs," Lila muses beside me.

"What for?" I mutter, happier to talk than sit in the silence of my thoughts, but not by much.

"For them to live in, duh. Some will always prefer to be in the fort, but others will want the independence. Besides, who knows how many will appear without monitoring," she adds, looking genuinely chilled at the thought of infinitely reproducing skeletons, "I mean in this new world they're kind of the perfect species, no skin or organs to get poisoned, an apex species!"

"Heh, ya, I can see that. But I meant more, why do you want to give them such a comfort?"

"Eh? They'll be building ‘em themselves, it's no work for me."
     I shake my head. She can be more of a Tsundere than me sometimes. She seems to be studying my face, or perhaps imagining the old fat me, being disgusted by the image, no doubt.
     “Tell me, Dog--"

"Don't call me that."

"-- why did you charge into the line of fire on the rooftop the other day? The battle was pretty much won. You could have just trusted in my having a massive health bar or Tom intervening, but instead, you went and threw yourself into extreme danger. I mean, seriously, what was wrong with just letting the girls do all the heavy lifting as you had been until then?"

"I told you, those two would be sad if you got hurt."

"Yaaa, so you say, but I don't buy it."

I sigh, "Alright, it was just, on instinct, ya know?"

"Now that I do buy,” she nods firmly. “They told me, while you were out cold and before missiles started raining down, that that's how you guys met. That they were in the 'starter city' being hit on by some men. It wasn't that they couldn't defend themselves, but that city has some sort of magic that kicks you out if you start a fight, and they didn't fancy camping so soon after coming to Escape. They were getting desperate when some crazy guy trotted up and threw the first punch. He missed completely, stumbling over a barstool and dragging a different guy down in the process. Before long, the men and he were in an all-out brawl before being magicked away."

I sigh, flopping back into the grass and staring up at the vibrant blue sky; what an embarrassing memory to dredge up. The magic she mentions is just the system rules of the starter town as was; teleporting and temporarily barring those who commit violence there. It's a decent threat against newbies who might not even know how to use the menu to summon food or a tent yet. Escape doesn't have overworld monsters, true, but nighttime sure can be cold when you’ve gone from a shut-in to suddenly being isekaied to a new world. Do you know how uncomfortable camping without gear is? Well, I do, haha…

"Ya, and then those idiots came to find me and say thanks, meaning we all ended up spending the night in the wilds anyway. Tch, it's kinda funny to remember."

Lila smiles, lying down next to me in the grass, "That's you in a nutshell, right? Charge into trouble headfirst without a second thought - no - without a first thought, because once you think, you worry and mither, you get scared and hesitant. Whether it's running your mouth without thinking or running into danger, it has to come first, or you simply clam up. But those fears are secondary, your nature deep down is to act first, to put yourself in harm's way for others, to cry out about every injustice you’ve ever witnessed."

"That's a pretty grandiose way of saying I'm a hot-headed idiot. You can just come right out and say I’m an asshole, you know."

"Ahahahaha, perhaps! That Demon Lord I mentioned, Herc, of all of them, he is the only one people truly trust - even the Sovereign. If you needed the support of a Lord, of the highest class of being in our world, he's the only one you'd feel even remotely safe appealing to. It’s not always a bad thing to be a loyal mutt, ya know. More than that, you remind me of my big brother."

"I do? He’s an idiot, too?"

Lila punches me lightly in the shoulder, "Hardly. Well, maybe. He would have suited the Ogre-Imp class, that's for sure! Heh-heh,” she grins widely like a little kid, before turning to stare back up at the sky, “Even as a tiny Half-Imp he'd always put himself in the line of danger without a care, always charging headfirst. He wasn't stupid, but ya, maybe he wasn't an academic genius either. But he was kind and reliable and utterly selfless despite being an Imp, a creature with the two stones of mass and a foot of height. My big brother, he really was the best," she smiles.

I had siblings in my old life, but I can’t say I was ever close with them, the opposite even. Still, when I listen to her speak of her brother, her soft, fond expression, it almost makes me wish I had tried harder to connect with my family when I had the chance.
One other thing stands out about her words mind, "...What happened to him?"

"Oh, nothing dramatic, exactly what you're likely expecting. You know how it is - charged in one too many times - maybe a Demon Lord can pull that off forever, but not a little Imp. He did make it to full-blooded first, though! He was the first Imp I ever knew who managed to evolve and change class. He was so big to me, running around those dingy backstreets in those days, always following that broad, strong back of his. I thought he could beat a path for us all through anything."

"I actually remind you of such a good guy?"

"Yup! Listen, kid, we all have things inside, we all have times when we don't feel right in our own skin. Far as I'm concerned, be a clumsy chad for as long as you need - but when you're ready, to try a 'class change' of your own, you let me know, K'? You have your faults, you're a damn rude guy when you want to be, ya hear? But that doesn’t mean you have to be that way forever. Some day, maybe you can stop hating yourself so much,” She cranes her neck to look me in the eye as she speaks, offering me the same smile she afforded her brother’s memory just moments ago.

In spite of myself and all my protests against her since we first met, I just can't help but feel taken in by her. Is this how Ko feels around her, too, I wonder?
    I turn my head the opposite way to conceal a rapidly forming blush, warranting a cackle from her that makes me smile a little, "You're oddly nice for a demon."

"Pah, that's just ‘cause you're my possessions."
    I turn back, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Smile gone, she gives me a rather firm look, "I didn't get this strong without my fair share of fucked up choices and mistakes. If one of those Demon Lords were to rock up at the door tomorrow and I had to start acting like what I am - making immediate emergency decisions, strategising on the spot and sacrificing pieces for survival - then you wouldn't be so quick to flatter me. Honestly, that's the other thing I value about you, Sek. Try not to forget it.
In front of those girls, doubly with the Estolpfo, I can’t help but try and live up to their bright image of me, but you don’t hesitate, rightly or wrongly, to complain and doubt me from time to time. There's value in that, more than you know. A person like me needs at least one follower like you, heh.”

"We all act differently in front of other people, you mean? Still, that sounds rather harsh on yourself..."

"Let's just hope we can all keep these nice delusions we have of ourselves going for just a bit longer, eh? The skies are still blue and the clouds are floating by, I hope they always are, Dog."

----

"...Don't call me that."