Certainty Refused

"Usami!" Itsuki shouted, still rushing across the cobble.

The knight-earl barely even registered him as he resheathed his sword, grimacing instead at his dirtied blade.

"Hmph. Waste of time." He coughed as he wiped his hand off on his tabard.

"Anyway, Knight-Baroness, Vice-Captain, you two certainly need to get a better grip on your citizens. They ought to know better than to protest the dukedom's—"

A pillar of stone smashed against his head, jerking him enough to free Efram from his grasp.

"M-Matron!" She stuttered as she dropped to the street, rushing to collapse to the ground behind Velena. Despite the redness around her neck, she still gestured toward her sister being dragged away.

"S-save her, please!"

The man scoffed as the matron nodded, wordlessly handed her off to a guard. Kiaki and a few others immediately surged into action.

"…Aberrations and traitors I see. Glorious."

The knight-earl spat as wings of light unfurled, cloaking the scene in burning luminance.

"Finally a reason to put you in your place."

The rest of the scene faded to Itsuki as forces clashed, the crowd dispersed, and resistance became muffled.

This couldn't be happening.

Itsuki knelt at Sayaka's side, eyes widening as blood blossomed across her dress. He had to get her healing quickly—to Velena.

He looked up to try and signal the matron. However, any hope quickly faded as he saw her. While she seemed intent to assist them, the knight-earl had rushed in, blade singing as he and his forces forcibly locked her into combat.

Damn it.

His ears began to ring as panic surged through him.

What if he jumped in to help? Would that give her enough time to get to heal her? Or maybe he could get around somehow? Maybe?

A wet cough drew his attention before he could think more, locking his gaze with Sayaka.

She looked strangely tranquil now despite the circumstances, as if a burden had just been lifted from her.

"U-Usami, don't worry. I'll—"

"Kisaragi," she interrupted. "It's… fine. Focus on them, not me."

His chest squeezed at the request.

"F-fine?! The hell are you saying?! No. Just give me a second. I'll try lift you up, and then we can see if there's someone here that can heal—"

She interrupted him again with a half-chuckle, ignoring his protests as her breaths got shallower.

"Can I be a bit selfish, please?"

One of her hands slowly rose to squeeze his, strength already fading in her grasp.

"I didn't hold hers on the way out. But maybe… I could hold yours?"

"U-Usami?!" He swallowed as she held her, still desperately trying to find a solution. "No! I said stop!"

Blood, panic, regret. They stormed within him as he locked eyes with her.

"Don't you dare give up! You are not dying. Not now!"

His grip tightened.

"I refuse to let you go too!"

"…" Something glinted in Sayaka's eyes at that moment, like she'd just pieced things together.

He clammed up. "Crap, forget that. I meant—"

"Stop," she said, shushing him like before. "You're panicking over nothing. It's fine."

She gave a bitter smile, her color growing faint in the dying light.

"Just one more thing to say if you don't mind…"

She closed her eyes.

"As pointless as this all was in the end… thanks for trying, Kisaragi."

Itsuki's heart plummeted as she trailed off.

Then he slammed his fist into the ground.

Damn it! Damn his brain. Damn his mouth. Damn the failure that was himself. Why the hell couldn't he just function normally?! Was he doomed to always screw up?! Sayaka didn’t deserve any of this! None of it!

He clenched her hand harder as it all hit, even as her warmth began to fade away.

No. He refused. There must've been something else he could do. There had to be! There had to!

"!"

Wait a second.

He immediately grasped his left hand toward her as he remembered his power, still holding tight.

He didn't know if it would work—he'd continued to shy away from using it on others even amidst all their training—but maybe it could do something here? His power healed when he used it on himself, so maybe the same would extend to using it on others too? He had to hope at least.

Then, just as he finished that thought, it engulfed him.

Warmth.

There was an ethereal presence within his hand now, just like it'd been for Refi. Unlike hers though, it felt far stronger, and heat flared up through his palm.

Sayaka's eyes abruptly shot open, color returning to her.

"K-Kisaragi?!"

Various sensations ran wild within him as he held his grip tight, feeling links form between each other's souls.

Pain, grief, guilt, loneliness, relief. Half of it was familiar, like he was reliving through each of his own failures, but the other half he felt was new.

It was hers.

And it was almost too much, like he'd die if this went on, especially once a ghostly hurt slashed across his chest, mirroring the wound that had cut Sayaka down. His teeth clenched as it seared across him, branding in unseen anguish that made him want to scream.

But he refused to let go. He couldn't. He wouldn't fail.

Not again.

He continued to hold on, even as a flood of memories crushed Itsuki and the pain intensified tenfold. Feelings burned. Life was torture. Existence itself became a cruel joke.

Then, the world froze.

***

Sterile white came into view in front of Itsuki, the scent of disinfectants clinging to his nostrils. It was night now, fluorescent fixtures shining as the main source of light, and the Tokyo sky lay muted above them from outside a hospital window.

Sayaka was sitting in a bedside chair with her hands folded in on herself, trying her best to hold back tears.

She was managing, but only barely.

A girl that resembled her—roughly middle-school aged—laid in bed in front of Sayaka, thumbing through a light novel. Various similar stories were stacked upon the nearby cabinet, each containing adventures, escapism, other worlds, and magic.

For a minute, there was just quiet as the girl took in the story. But eventually, she closed the book as she finished it, smiling over to Sayaka for her attention.

"Hey, big sis?" she quietly asked, eyes flickering back to the magical girl on the cover. "Can I ask a random question? Do you… do you think that I've been good enough?"

Sayaka straightened up in her chair, trying to smile back despite the strangeness of the question. She whispered to the girl as she patted her hair.

"Good enough? Of course you are, Hinata. What makes you say that though?"

The girl giggled in relief, as if a weight had been lifted from her, though she quickly deflated again as her voice cracked.

"I-I was just thinking… am I good enough for another chance?"

Sayaka frowned, a storm overtaking her expression. "Did that story get to you? Don't let it. That one is more bitter than sweet, and you're going to be fine. There's no reason to—"

A fit of coughs interrupted her as Hinata collapsed back against the bed, clutching the book tighter to her chest.

"Hinata?! Are you alright?"

She wheezed a few more times in shaky coughs, nodding once her breath had settled down again.

"I-I am. Thank you, big sis. I was just… wondering, I guess."

Her voice softened as she looked out the window, lips barely trembling before she continued.

"…Do you think in the next life I'll be a healthy, big sis? That I can have real friends, eat real food? Maybe… maybe even be a real girl instead of this?"

She sniffled back a tear as she sunk further into the pillow, gesturing to her entire body.

"Hinata." Sayaka's expression dropped further with her tone. "I already told you to stop talking like this. You're going to recover, and I'm advocating for you too, so there's no sense in—"

Her words died as her sister shook her head.

"Big sis, please."

Hinata was gazing at her now, pleading through wettened eyes and a few broken breaths.

Sayaka's façade nearly broke at the sight.

"I… I think I should let you sleep now. You need your rest after all."

She stood from the chair, struggling to hold herself together a bit longer as she eyed the hallway. It wouldn't be good if she saw her cry.

"…Good night, Hinata."

Sayaka didn't care what the doctors said.

Her sister would live. She just needed to work harder for her, afford more treatments, apply for more medications. Hinata was doing a lot better today too, so if she kept this up—

"Big sis?" Hinata coughed, struggling to hold her hand out to her.

"Y-yes?" she replied, turning back after wiping away some wetness from her eyes. "What is it? Do you want me to bring back something tomorrow? Maybe a shortcake? Or perhaps another series to read?"

Her sister's expression sobered slightly as they locked eyes, though she tried to smile.

"…Big sis, I know it's not a weekend, but… can I be a little selfish tonight?"

"Could you stay with me until I fall asleep? I… don't know how much longer I have left."

Sayaka's heart dropped at the request.

"Hinata. Stop it. I… How many times have I told you? You're going to be fine, so don't you dare give up on yourself, okay? You'll get through it. I know you will."

Her sister responded with a light nod, her outstretched hand wavering slightly.

"I get it—I really do—but… please, big sis?"

Hinata tried smiling again, as much as she possibly could.

"Just one last time…?"

The words faded out as Sayaka began to shake, refusing to accept it. 

Tears streamed down her face in an apology as she turned away, trying to picture how she'd look like in the morning.

"I'll… I'll see you tomorrow, Hinata."

She shut the door before her sister could see any more.

***

Itsuki swallowed heavily as the scene faded from his view.

Once again, he and Sayaka were on the ground, clutching to each other as danger rampaged around them. Their eyes met as reality set in again; brown and grey watered in grief and understanding as a shared warmth coursed through them. 

Then, power surged.

Senses heightened, strength enhanced, pain intensified as healing flowed and heat swallowed them. The two of them began to rise, levitated into the air with an unknowable energy that pulsed throughout the entire town.

All eyes turned to them.

Vitality, willpower, and soul, that was all they could feel now as Itsuki and Sayaka looked at one another above the crowd.

They ascended higher above the rooftops, twilight casting the last of its light across their silhouettes. Something intangible bridged between them in that moment as hearts shifted—something undeniable as they rose to meet the shifting horizon.

For a moment suspended in time, things felt right.

"…" But then just as suddenly as it came, it terminated, as if it wasn't complete.

The wind resumed as they fell.

"Kisaragi?!" Sayaka choked out between tears. "W-what was that? And did you just see—?"

He squeezed a little harder, his own voice shaken. "I did. But… we can talk later. I think we should focus on something else first."

His head gestured toward the approaching ground.

"Please?"

She followed the motion before slowly nodding.

"…R-right."

Wind blasted beneath their bodies as she gestured, air condensing to slow their descent in a whirlwind. Momentum slowed as the magic worked, and soon they were floating gracefully to the ground in a breeze.

"By the triumvirate! That light! That presence!"

The knight-earl's voice suddenly pierced into the air, disrupting the muted pause of the moment. He looked near beaten as he eyed the both of them, his battered expression dropped in shock.

"Velena, Kiaki?! This is outrageous!" He turned to face the matron and vice-captain, his sword chipped and bent and wings flickering. "Are you to tell me that those peasants up there are somehow worldwalkers?! By all that is holy, I refuse to—"

A blur of obsidian slammed into his side before he could finish.

Gold armor buckled as he was launched through what remained of his men and then into walls of brick and mortar. The momentum carried him far through several buildings, only stopping once buried beneath a mountain of rubble.

The giant figure responsible came to a stop, standing right in the center of attention. Massive horns adorned his head on each side; muscles larger than a bull's rippled beneath black Diluvian robes; and a shining gem hung from his neck that seemed to suck in the warmth around him.

A voice heavier than a mountain grunted in the direction of the barely conscious knight-earl, ignoring everyone else but the descending duo.

Itsuki and Sayaka gulped as dark eyes locked upon them menacingly, almost as if they were his prize.

"Unfortunately for you, devil-pig, your refusal to believe means nothing."

The minotaur-like man grinned.

"Those two are worldwalkers."