Hal Redwind, The Son of The Hero

Hal Sevenoaks was sitting on his bed in a room in The Sea’s Embrace, an inn that he would be staying at while he was in the town of Glory’s Coast. He had taken off his armor: a thick overcoat, leather bracers, steel pauldrons, a thick scarf to protect his neck, and steel boots. Now that his arms were exposed, he could see dark bruises and acid burns all across them. He then took off his blue vest and red button-up shirt to expose his torso, also exposing the further bruising across his entire body. Hal looked at the bruises and couldn’t remember where he got them.

Hal had been told by Asyr about what had happened in The Tomb of The Sands of Time, but it felt like it was a story about someone else. Hal could remember standing in the room on the first floor of the tomb, watching the door open, then darkness, pain, and then things became fuzzy. Hal could see the bruises across his body and tell that the story about what happened was probably true, but that only made him feel even more hopeless. He was useless when it came to magic, like when the others had to open the door to the second floor. He was useless when it came to finding the monster on the first floor, based on what Asyr said about the situation. He was useless when it came to fighting, based on what he could remember about the monster and how he couldn’t do anything to stop himself from being swallowed.

The room Hal was in had a small mirror on a table in the corner, next to a pitcher of water. He could see himself in the mirror. He saw his physique: a very muscular figure, but on the leaner end for half-orcs. He had spent many years training to be able to go out into the world and become a hero like he had always wanted, but then he saw the bruising and acid burns on that body. His training meant nothing if he was hopeless in a real fight. Hal had only been in two real fights in his life, but in both, he did nothing. In this most recent one, he was immediately swallowed when the monster appeared.

Hal was then left remembering the other fight he had been in, but quickly grabbed the pitcher of water and drank a bit before sitting back down on the edge of his bed. The last thing he wanted to do is be reminded of that moment. He just needed rest. He was exhausted from the experience in the tomb from earlier that day. Besides, it was already after sundown. Hal laid down in the bed, trying to block out the memories.

It wouldn’t be that easy, though. As Hal tried to fade into slumber, he could hear a voice. It was a voice of comfort, but he couldn’t place where it was coming from. Hal opened his eyes, apparently unable to sleep, so he went to the door of his room, trying to look for the source of that voice. He opened the door and could see his mother standing above him just outside of his childhood bedroom. He had just been in the inn a moment ago, but now he was undoubtedly standing in the place he had grown up. He was in Sal’tera, the town he grew up in, on the continent of N’daro, thousands of miles from Glory’s Coast. Not only that, Hal looked down and he was back in the clothes he wore when he was barely thirteen, a simple white shirt and baggy white pants. Hal could also tell that he was the same size as when he was a child, only 5’8” and very skinny, for a half-orc. Hal heard that voice again and finally remembered what was happening.

“Hal Redwind, get downstairs right now! You need to go get the things that the madam had ordered!”

Hal remembered this day. It was the day that he decided to set out on his journey to meet his father, Nathaniel Sevenoaks. It was a day, ten years ago, that would set him down a path that would change everything he knew about himself. The thing that Hal was currently focused on, however, was trying his best to run away from this moment. He could only remember what awaited him at the end of that journey. No matter how much he wanted to run, his legs could only follow the movements of his memories. He was left as an unwilling observer of a memory he had done everything he could to forget.

His mother was a half-orc like him, but she had much more muscle and bulk than Hal. As he looked up, he saw how much she looked like him. She had the same green eyes as him, the same pale green skin as him, long, flowing, dark brown hair like him, but she had an air of confidence that didn’t seem to get passed down to him. She wore a beautiful, flowing, floor-length blue dress that signalled to Hal that she would be working that day. She was also wearing a silver necklace with a turquoise gem. Hal understood now that the necklace was a magical item used by his mother to project her voice across the wide room she would be singing in later that day.

Hal spoke up, but the voice was simultaneously his and not his. He was speaking in this memory, saying, “When I get back, can you tell me another story about Dad before you have to go work, Mom?” It was a voice like a brand new bell, one that hadn’t needed to be fixed yet. It was so clear and so full, unlike his voice now, which was more hollow. His mother responded in a similar voice, one like a massive temple bell, full and powerful, saying, “I’ll tell you a story, Hal, but only if you go help Madam Lessa with chores for the night. You’re thirteen now, so you need to be helping out more around here or you need to find somewhere else to work. You need to start thinking about your future. The madam knows all kinds of people in the town, so you could do whatever you want. Mister Eska was looking for an apprentice at his smithy-”

“But I wanna be a hero like Dad! I wanna do all the stuff he did in those stories you told me!”

“Hal…” She squatted down in front of Hal and held his face in her hands. “I want you to know that I will be there for you, no matter what you do. I’m your mother, so I love you no matter what. If you want to be an adventurer, we can talk about that, but don’t say that you want to be like him.”

Those were the words that broke Hal for the first time in his life. Hal now understood what she meant, but he was a child back then, so when he heard those words, his mind was filled with a soup of confusion and betrayal. The only words that could escape him were, “Okay. I’ll go help Miss Lessa, then, I guess.” Hal started walking down to the bottom floor of the building to find its owner.

The place where Hal grew up and where his mother worked was a three-story building called “The Sun’s Respite”. The bottom floor was both a tavern and brothel, providing food and entertainment, then the top two floors were inn rooms. The brothel had people working there, like Hal’s mother, who provided all kinds of entertainment. Hal’s mother was a singer and she would regularly draw crowds so massive that the madam would have to turn people away. Hal’s aunts, though not by blood, were the other hostesses of the brothel and they had taught Hal a number of talents, though he could never seem to pick up any of those talents as well as they could. There were games of skill, dancers, and even illusionists. The person that Hal was looking for, however, was the person who he saw as his grandmother, Madam Lessa Udgar.

Miss Lessa was an old, dark-skinned human woman with curly white hair currently tied back to keep it out of her face. She was standing behind the counter, glasses on, fiddling with a ledger, then pulled a slip of paper out of a book, all without looking up at Hal. Hal grabbed the slip, and stood there for a moment before she spoke up. She set down her glasses and looked at Hal, saying, “Look here, boy. Asha loves you more than anything. She wants what’s best for you.” Hal had an idea of where the conversation would go from this point. Miss Lessa was always the one who shot down Hal’s dreams.

She set down a small pouch on the counter with a jingle, continuing, “If you want to be a hero, then here’s what you’ll do: you will set down that slip of paper, grab this pouch, and find a halfling man named Bud Swishpick. He is leaving town tonight on a riverboat. If you give him that pouch, he will take you to the man you want to see.”

Hal looked up at Miss Lessa like she was his grandmother for the first time. He had always felt a slight fear at being around her, like being in a room with an old, angry cat. As long as he didn’t make eye contact, he felt like he wouldn’t get scratched. He felt all of that melt away in a single moment. He grabbed Miss Lessa’s hand, happiness stretched across his face, and asked, “Why are you helping me?” She shook her hand free of his and said, turning away, “I think it’s time for you to learn what being a hero means,” then, in a near whisper, said, “and I can’t bear to see Asha like this…” Hal, however, couldn’t hear that part at the time, as he was busy grabbing the pouch and running out into the town to find his father.

The town of Sal’terra is a decent-sized one found a short distance from the western coast of N’daro, along the Sal’tah River. Its position along this river, which is one of the few ways to reach the Black Ocean, the main ocean for trade between continents, means that Sal’terra is the closest thing N’daro has to a port city. N’daro’s coastlines are plagued with dangerous monsters, just like the rest of the continent’s wildlands, so port cities in the past would regularly be attacked and eventually abandoned. The towns of N’daro, however, have magical items placed on the walls which repel most monsters. One of the shipments of those magical items was currently being unloaded from a riverboat and counted by a halfling man in very fine dress.

Hal approached the area, pouch in hand, and walked up to the halfling man. Halflings, like gnomes, goblins, dwarves, and kobolds, were typically around three to five feet tall, with dwarves typically being taller and halflings being shorter, but this halfling man was almost five feet tall, so if not for his attire, he may have been mistaken for a human child from behind. Once he turned around and noticed Hal, that possibility was gone due to the short, scraggly grey beard that popped out from his coat.

He noticed the pouch Hal was carrying and approached him, saying, “I take it that you must be that Hal boy that Lessie was telling me about? My name is Bud Swishpick and I’m an old friend of the madam. So I hear that you want to go to see your father. Is that correct, m’boy?”

Hal was a bit off-put by the overly forward nature of Bud, but he nodded quickly. Bud responded by taking the pouch, rummaging through it for a single jeweled coin, then tossed it back to Hal, asking, “What weapon do you enjoy?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I have to have all hands available to fight sea monsters when we make it onto the Black Ocean. Pick a weapon and I’ll give it to you for the rest of that pouch. Unless you want to fight with magic or your fists, that is.”

“I’ve never used a weapon, though.”

“Hmm… A spear should do well enough. Perfect balance of range and ease of use for a new fighter. I’ll give it to you once we get on the ship, so that will be when I expect my payment.”

“But… Why are you doing this for me?”

Bud was already walking to the riverboat and simply held up the jeweled coin. It looked like a small sun in his hand. “It’s been a while since I’ve been able to visit Lessie. This will pay for two hours of gambling with her. We’re both much too busy with our businesses to spend time together anymore, so this is the excuse we tell ourselves. Now come along, m’boy, let’s get you to Hawk’s Peak.”

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Hal’s journey to meet his father took a month. It was a week’s journey by a ship called the Silkenspice to reach the Northern Strait, which separated the Black Ocean from the Triangle Sea, which was located between N’daro and The Hidden Lands. The time mostly came from the constant attacks by sea monsters. Crossing the Triangle Sea to reach the Yellow Ocean took another week, but the distance traveled was much further that week. From the Yellow Ocean, it took another week to make landfall in Aerie’s Landing, the closest point to Hawk’s Peak, which was where Nathaniel Sevenoaks lived. Finally, it took another week of journey by cart with Bud accompanying Hal to reach the top of the tallest mountain in the Aerie Mountains along the southernmost coast of The Hidden Lands.

At Hawk’s Peak, there was a massive, opulent manor where a number of servants, groundskeepers, and housekeepers were out and about, attending to various daily tasks. The manor had a three-story house which served as the main mansion, a secondary house for various servants, a horse racing track, a beautiful garden, and a grand statue of a muscular human man raising a sword to the sky. As Hal approached, even though he had never seen his father before, he immediately knew that the statue was one of his father, Nathaniel Sevenoaks. Seeing that face made the situation all the more real, causing the current Hal to remember the moment that awaited him shortly.

Hal wanted to run. He wanted to avoid the scenes that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He simply wanted to be free of the memory of what was to come, but as he felt a hand on his shoulder, he looked to his side and saw Bud. Bud looked at Hal and said in a voice not his own, “Before we go in, I know that you are here with me, Hal.” The words knocked Hal out of his spiraling thoughts. The world around him suddenly lost all color. He felt a sudden control over his own body. He turned to face Bud, but the face he expected to see was gone, instead covered by a mask that Hal had never seen in his life.

“This is an interesting memory that your mind has chosen for me to experience. I wonder what awaits inside this manor…” mocked the strange, deep, raspy voice. The mask that covered Bud’s face was a plain white mask with no facial features, but instead appeared to have strange bandages wrapping the mask onto Bud’s head. “I want you to know that you can do nothing to stop me. If you know what is best for you, you will never step foot in my burial chambers again. If you do so again, I will begin taking pieces of you. Time wears away even memories, like sands wear away rocks. This is your only warning.”

The world suddenly went back to color and Hal lost control of his body once again, left with one phrase echoing through his mind: “I wonder what awaits…”

=======================================

Hal stepped into the foyer of the manor where he was greeted by a frail old human man in a black tailcoat. The man introduced himself as Everett, the head butler of The Sevenpoints Estate, the manor of Nathaniel Sevenoaks. Hal introduced himself as Hal Redwind and Bud introduced himself as Guildmaster Bud Swishpick of Kohr’s Golden Guild. Bud apparently also had business with Hal’s father, so the two of them would see him together.

However, the current Hal was still reeling from the shock of the moment before where he was spoken to by the mysterious voice. Couple that with the trepidation at being about to relive a horrific memory and Hal’s mind was gone. He could vaguely remember the time before his meeting with his father. Everett had taken Hal and Bud on a tour of the manor’s trophy wing, where his father stored all the various treasures from his adventures.

“This here is the jeweled skull of a demilich called Naz’yth’k. Master Sevenoaks defeated Naz’yth’k with the rest of Sevenpoints, his adventuring party. Master Sevenoaks struck the final blow with his mighty sword, Starblaze.” Before Hal was a skull covered in jewels, diamonds and rubies, sapphires and pearls, all gleaming.

“Now over here we have a newer addition to the collection: the warhammer of a fallen angel. An archangel recently fell from Aeni Sulnid, the world where angels reside, so it was Master Sevenoaks’ duty as a hero to slay the corrupted creature. He took the creature’s weapon as a trophy to signify his victory over even the most powerful soldiers of the gods.” It was a golden, glowing warhammer that radiated a warm feeling of light. In the center of the hammer was an insignia of a set of scales.

“The most prized treasure of Master Sevenoaks is this: a glaive and a shield, the mystery that he could never solve. A dark cult attempted to make contact with an evil being from beyond this world. Their leader carried this glaive and shield, emblazoned with the iconography of the snake creature that they so clearly tried to summon.” Hal saw these, one being a golden-bladed glaive with a snake carved around the steel shaft, near the blade which had the carving of a wing. The other was a tower shield with scale-like designs and a winged snake image emblazoned on its face.

“Now, if you wouldn’t mind, please follow me to the dining hall, where the masters are waiting for you.”

Hal had finally arrived at the moment. There was nothing left for him to do.

In the dining hall, various servants approached the table with pitchers and goblets, platters of food and dining carts covered in plates of all sizes. At the table, there were seven seats: one at the head of the table where a disheveled, older human man sat, shoveling food into his mouth, and three on each side of the man where young adults sat, not eating any food. All of the younger people appeared to be human at first glance. The older man didn’t look anything like the statue of himself outside, but the sword which was planted into the table in front of him identified the man as Nathaniel Sevenoaks.

Everett spoke up and said, “Master Sevenoaks, you have two guests who wish to speak with you.”

Between sounds of sloshing drink and squelching food, he responded, “Who are these creatures?” The word ‘creatures’ had a tinge of disgust, like he had just seen a fly land on his food.

Bud took the initiative to say, “My name is Guildmaster Bud Swishpick. I’ve come here to follow up with you about the stoppage in spice shipments to Kohr. It is my understanding that-”

“Ah. Dreadful business, that. A few of the sorry lot got the bizarre idea to try and steal my spices. After they refused to confess, I had to punish them. The shipment will be slightly delayed, all because they tried to blame their foolish crime on the weather.”

“I see, Mister Sevenoaks. If you would allow me, I can speed up the process for you, that way I can return with the shipment.”

“That would be simply lovely. Do that. It will be much faster with a Superior Being such as yourself running the process. Run along now.”

Hal could hear the slight sound of gritting teeth, but Bud simply smiled up at Nathaniel Sevenoaks and went on with the business. After that, the sound of food stopped.

“As for this pitiful creature, what is your business here, Lesser One?”

Hal was confused by the term. “Lesser One?”

“I see you are pitiful and incompetent. You are a half-orc, which can be told by your leaner frame than an orc and that green skin, unlike a human. Half-orcs are Lesser Ones, same as half-elves, half-giants, half-dragons, half-angels, and half-elementals. A class above the Unwanteds, like full orcs, goblinfolk, half-beasts, and half-devils, but simply nothing compared to Superior Beings like gnomes, dwarves, halflings, and elves. Nothing, however, compares to Premiera, such as myself and my six beautiful children.” As he said this, he gestured to the six people in the other chairs at the table.

In the furthest chair to the left sat the oldest, likely twenty-five, and in the furthest chair to the right sat the youngest, likely fifteen.

The one on the left appeared to be an actual human, but each one down the line had something slightly off about them. At the time, Hal had not known who these were, but later learned that they were his older half-siblings. The first one, Hal now knew was named Fenn and she was a full human.

The next one down the line was named Aster and his ears were covered in bandages. Hal later learned that Aster was a half-elf.

The next one down the line was named Uther and his forehead appeared to have two small knobs poking out. Hal later learned that Uther was a satyr.

The next one down the line was named Kanna and her skin was covered in small red wounds and scars. There were various patches of black hair- no, fur, that covered her body and face. Her face, however, was half covered in bandages, only allowing the top part of her face to be seen, alongside bandages that wrapped around the top of her head. Hal later learned that Kanna was a catfolk.

The next one down the line was named Theorin and his torso was wrapped in many layers of tight cloth, covering everything from his neck to his waist. Like Kanna, his lower half of his face was covered. The only exposed skin Hal could see was on his upper face and head, but it was covered in small red dots. Hal later learned that Theorin was a birdfolk.

The final one on the line was barely older than Hal. She was named Illiana and the only thing that was covered on her body was a small bandage over the forehead. Aside from that and skin that had a slight golden glow, she appeared to be a full human. Perhaps it was because she seemed to be about the same age as Hal, so he decided to speak up, asking, “Did she hurt her head?”

“Oh, she had a problem, yes. For some reason, she decided to draw a mark on her forehead. I wanted to simply clean it off, but she had decided to carve it into her forehead. As punishment for doing such a stupid thing, I had to remove it. I hope everyone here knows that we shouldn’t draw or carve on our skin. Especially the symbols of fallen angels.”

That was the moment when things had begun falling into place for Hal. He had heard stories from his mother about angels and their children. The children of angels would have the symbol of their angelic parent glow on their forehead. Hal decided he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“My name is Hal Redwind. My mom’s name is Asha Redwind. She told me many stories about you. She also told me that you’re my dad.”

That word was the first thing that caused any of the children to move since Hal had entered the room. Each of them looked at him with various emotions: panic, sadness, empathy, anguish, confusion, and despair.

Nathaniel Sevenoaks slowly stood up. He grabbed the sword out of the table in front of him. He walked away from the table. He approached Hal. Everything felt so methodical, so precise, so different from the way that he had been acting while he ate, so different from the sloppy way he looked.

He stood in front of Hal, looked him over, and gave a faint look of recognition at something in Hal.

His face then dropped.

“You must be joking. I only have human children. You are no human. Go home, child.”

“But my mom said that you’re my dad. She told me about all the things you did as a hero. She sings songs about Sevenpoints, the greatest adventuring party to ever venture across Erdenes. I wanted to be like you. I- I wanted to join your party.” Hal had started nearly crying.

“Sevenpoints? You?! Sevenpoints is a party of the seven greatest heroes to live. Sevenpoints is made up of only the best. You? You are a Lesser One. Your place is not in songs. Your place can be here if you want, but it will be out among the servants. That is the rightful place for one such as yourself.”

“B- But I came all the way here to see you. My mom, she still loves you! I hear the way she talks about you! She told me not to call you a hero, but you’re still my dad!”

Something about that seemed to make Nathaniel snap. He swung his sword out at Hal, barely missing. The pure force behind the swing sent Hal to the ground, though. Nathaniel stood above Hal and planted the sword beside his face. As he went to crouch down in front of Hal’s face, Hal could smell months of alcohol and vomit, a smell that would sometimes be found on the more rowdy customers at the Sun’s Respite. Nathaniel whispered to Hal, “I do not know who you are. I do not know anyone named Asha Redwind. Leave my home or die.”

Hal had finally broken. He had been trying his hardest for the last month to be more responsible, more capable, more prepared, but for this? All of the effort he had put in. On the ship ride here, he had spent every free moment training with the spear. Whenever Bud needed something done, Hal was always the first one to offer. Hal had been doing everything he could think of to be more like the person he thought his father was. It was at this moment that Hal’s eyes went wide with realization. Nathaniel grabbed his sword and had started to walk away, but Hal said something.

“You can’t be my dad.” Hal now knew that wasn’t true, but, at the time, he was simply lashing out in rebellious and childish anger.

“I am glad to see that you have managed to find wisdom.”

“My mom said that my dad was a hero and you clearly aren’t.”

Nathaniel snapped his focus back to Hal. The oldest child, which Hal now knew was named Fenn, spoke up and said, “Father, he doesn’t unde-”

Nathaniel threw the sword at Fenn, leaving it embedded in the table, inches away from her face. He began slowly walking toward Hal, who was slowly inching back toward the trophy hall.

“My dear children. What are the duties of a hero?”

The children all spoke in unison and without any emotion. “First. A hero must destroy all evil. Second. A hero must lead others to abandon the path of evil. Last. A hero must bring up the next generation without evil.”

“Very good, my dear children. If this child claims to be my son, then why is this a lie?”

Nathaniel began approaching Hal at a full walking speed. Hal had his back pressed up against the door to the trophy hall. The children, however, did not respond.

“My dearest children. This is a lie because I am a hero who follows his duties. I have brought all of you up without evil. This child cannot be mine because he was brought up with evil. Child, if you truly desire to be brought on the path of a hero, then reveal your evil nature to the world and cast it off.”

“My evil nature?”

Hal genuinely had no idea what he meant by that, but Nathaniel continued, “If you are born into evil, then you shall allow yourself to be born anew.”

Nathaniel pulled a dagger out from his back holster, then offered it to Hal. “Cast off your wicked form. Be born into a new and pure form.”

Hal realized what Nathaniel meant. He didn’t want to process it, but he instinctively knew what would happen in the next few moments, so Hal threw open the door to the trophy hall and started to run. Hal was heaving and sweating, so he ran as fast as he could. For some reason, he felt a push in his back which caused him to trip and fall. He landed next to the shield and glaive that he had seen earlier, but tried to stand and keep running. However, there quickly grew a puddle of red. Hal couldn’t get his footing. At that moment, he felt a sharp pain in his back from a dagger being pulled out of it by Nathaniel Sevenoaks.

“It is your duty as one who desires to be a hero to destroy evil. Destroy the evil form that you maintain!” Nathaniel was nearly screaming at Hal, but Hal could only shake his head between sobs and coughs of blood.

Nathaniel stepped away from Hal, toward the golden warhammer. Hal could only imagine what he planned to do with it. Hal needed some way to protect himself, so he grabbed the nearest thing, the shield. Hal couldn’t stand with the amount of blood he had lost, so he simply held the shield out in front of himself. Behind the tall tower shield, Hal couldn’t see his father, so when he felt the bones in his arms shatter from the impact of a heavy warhammer against the shield, Hal screeched in pain. Hal was left with no options. He would die.

He saw the shield in front of him, useless as it was. He realized that a shield is nothing if the person holding it can’t use it. He saw the glaive that had been presented beside it. Bud had said that spears were simple weapons to use, so Hal thought he might have been able to use a glaive, similar as they were, but his arms were shattered. Hal could only move his arm to touch the glaive through the muscles in his shoulder. It would be a pointless endeavor, but all heroes died with a weapon in their hands.

Hal touched the glaive and heard a hissing laugh in his mind. “You have lossst all hope. You have come to Extoltriusss, devourer of hope. You have no hope to offer me. What do you offer?”

Hal’s mind was already fading, but he could only think that this had to be a hallucination. He responded in the only way that made sense, saying, “If you need hope, which I don’t have, then the only thing I have is my life. There isn’t much left of it anyways.”

Hal could hear a deep, rumbling hiss as Nathaniel raised the warhammer above his head. Everything was moving in slow motion. Hal was ready. He only wished he could apologize to his mother for not listening. Hal could see the thin glaive moving on its own, floating in front of Hal to block the swing of the massive warhammer. As the warhammer went down towards Hal, the carving of the snake on the glaive came to life with a translucent green body, wrapping around the hammer, Nathaniel’s arms, torso, and then, head. The snake began to constrict and Hal could see his father’s body get slowly crushed. When the hammer could no longer be held by the pulverized bones in his arms, Nathaniel dropped it and the snake began to unhinge its jaw, slowly opening its mouth wider and wider. Hal could do nothing as he watched his father slowly vanish into nothingness, consumed by a translucent snake. He was left with only the sound of hissing laughter, slowly fading into his mind. His mind also faded as he passed out.

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Hal awoke back in the Sea’s Embrace. He was drenched in a cold sweat. He had had nightmares similar to this, but this time was more vivid, more real. He looked across the room to where he had set down Extol, his glaive, and Trius, his shield. He hadn’t heard from the so-called devourer of hope since that day, but he was glad for that. Though he never wanted to remember that day, he forced himself through his calming exercises.

“I survived that day, I can survive this.”

“I still have my mother and my older siblings, so I am not alone.”

“I have my grandmother Lessa and grandfather Bud, so my family will always be supported.”

“I have Everett to care for the manor and my family while I am not there, so they will always be taken care of.”

“I can return to the manor at any time and my family will be there for me.”

“My real family loves me.”

“They love me.”

“They love me.”

“They love me.”

“They love me.”

“They love me.”

Hal normally ended the exercises with that statement, but for some reason, this time, after the vivid nightmare, it felt like a lie.