Breakfast with... a Goddess?

After one of the weirdest nights of my existence, it was time to get up.
Another glorious day in the fantastical and thrilling life of Kurosawa Ren.
Sarcasm, obviously.

I got dressed in my usual wrinkled school uniform —soul as crushed as ever— and went downstairs for breakfast.

“Good morning, Ren.”
“Morning, Evelyn.”

...

“WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING IN MY HOUSE!?”
I pointed at Evelyn dramatically, like I’d just found the killer in a detective show.

“Where else would I go?” she asked, completely naturally.
“I don’t know—nor do I care! Don’t you have goddess stuff to do?”
“I do... but it’s boring.”

What kind of answer is that...?

“Here, I made you breakfast.”
She smiled as she placed a plate in front of me.

...

What the hell is this supposed to be?

The pancakes were black.
They looked like vinyl records that had been through a volcano.

But of course… how do you tell a sexy demon girl —in an even sexier apron— that her breakfast is a culinary war crime?

“Thanks a lot, Evelyn… but I’m not hungry.”
“Whaaaaat!? After all the time I spent cooking it...!”
She gave me the abandoned puppy look.

Not a chance I’m eating that.

“Well, I gotta go. And so should you.”
I stood up, slung my backpack over my shoulder, and left the house without looking back—like I was fleeing a crime scene.

As I walked toward school, I mumbled to myself:
“Unbelievable... why is she still in my house?”

Did she really come all the way from Khaelym just for me?

No, no, no. Impossible. She said it herself—she needs an idiot like me for money.

I arrived at school with a weird feeling in my chest.
Nothing serious. Just... that kind of existential discomfort you get when something really stupid is about to happen.

I took my seat at my desk.

“Alright, class. Today, we have a new student joining us. Let’s all give her a warm welcome.”
The teacher’s tone was neutral, but the timing was very suspicious.

A new student...? This late in the semester? That’s weird.

The door opened.

...

You’re wondering who walked in, right?

“Hi everyone! My name is Evelyn... and I’m Ren’s girlfriend.”

...

I said nothing.
I couldn’t.
I just stared with wide eyes and my jaw hanging like a poorly drawn MS Paint character.

The whole class reacted the same way. Even the teacher.
What kind of introduction is that...?

Suddenly, everyone turned to look at me.
Not out of curiosity—
But with intensity. Judgmental intensity. Like I’d just been revealed as the final boss of a murder mystery.

Meanwhile, I stayed in full shock mode.
Emotional blue screen level.

And Evelyn... she wasn’t in her usual sexy demon form.
No.
Worse.

She’d taken on the form of a sexy schoolgirl.
Yes, that anime version: short skirt, shirt so tight the buttons were begging for mercy, hair tied in twin tails, and a smile that screamed “I’m cute” while hiding pure chaos underneath.

A ticking time bomb with legs.

The teacher wiped away a bit of drool discreetly.
Gross!

“Ahem, ahem... Miss Evelyn, please take a seat.”
“Thank you, mister teacher,” she replied with fake politeness as sugary as her pigtails.

The teacher rushed over to me, whispering through cupped hands like some undercover agent.
“Hey, Kurosawa… how’ve you been hiding that, huh? Huh?”
What the hell is wrong with this old man...

Evelyn sat right next to me.
Yes.
Next to me.
Because she seduced the guy beside me into giving up his seat.

“Hi, Ren~”
She smiled like nothing was happening.

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING.

It was the most uncomfortable class of my life.
There was no lesson—just stares stabbing me from all directions, whispers loud enough to hear, and an atmosphere thick enough to cut with a pencil.

“Wait, she’s Ren’s girlfriend? Really?”
“Dude, did you see that chest? Lucky bastard...”

And yes, the girls commented too.
Don’t think Evelyn only caused chaos among the guys.

“She’s so pretty.”
“Look at that hair…”
“Are those boobs even allowed at our age?”

I just wanted to evaporate.
I sighed so hard I nearly triggered a typhoon.

And then...

RIIIIIIIINNNG!
The bell.

My salvation.

I grabbed Evelyn by the arm and dragged her out of class like we were FBI fugitives.

“Hey, Ren, don’t be so rough~”
Her tone was so suggestive it felt like my dignity melted on the spot.

I turned bright red.
Nuclear red.
Humiliation red.

Why...? Why me...?

I bolted as fast as I could, Evelyn in tow.
And when I say fast—

I mean running from paparazzi after a scandal with an underage idol kind of fast.

Everyone at school stared.
Everyone.
Even the window cleaner gave us that look of “I saw what you did.”

We ran until we found a quiet alley.
I stopped dead in my tracks.

“What the hell are you doing!?”
“Being your classmate?” Evelyn replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“My classmate?”
“Wasn’t that your condition? Did you forget already?”
“My... condition?”

“Geez, Ren, what’s wrong with you? Did Princess bite your brain too?”
She tilted her head in fake innocence.

“Don’t remind me. I’m still recovering from canine trauma.”

And then she said it.

“When you died the first time… with the can. You asked for me to be your companion, right?”

...

Ahhh… now I remember…

“But I thought that was just in Khaelym.”
“Well, you should’ve specified, idiot.”
She crossed her arms, visibly annoyed.

Wait, is she… offended? Evelyn? OFFENDED? What the hell is going on!?

“So… you’re gonna follow me everywhere?”
Evelyn nodded.
“Forever!?”
She nodded again.
Even more enthusiastically.
Like a terrifying wedding vow.

This is so messed up.

“By the way! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ‘I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND’ THING!?”
“Oh, that…”
She smiled with that devilish face I knew all too well.
“I just wanted to see your reaction.”

...

I sighed.
A long, soul-draining sigh.

I accepted my fate.
And we walked home without another word.
No pit stops.
No energy drink runs.

I broke my streak of countless after-school visits to the convenience store.
Another loss in the life of Kurosawa Ren...

When we got home, things got… serious.
For the first time all day.

“So, what are you gonna do?” Evelyn asked as she stared at the family photos in the living room.
“I’m not going back to Khaelym.”
“You prefer this life?”

Honestly, I don’t even know...
I mean, if you take away the mutant dogs, demons, monsters, and constant humiliation... it wasn’t that bad.

“It’s not that...”
Why is she making me doubt myself...?

“While you think it over, I’ll be around.”
She bit into an apple from the fruit bowl like some fanservice version of Snow White.

“You can’t just ‘be around’! What’ll my parents think when they see you!?”
“I’ll tell them the same thing I told your classmates.”
She winked.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

...

The rest of the day passed without any major disasters.
You know… the usual.
A goddess living in my house, wearing clothes that made focus a distant dream, while I tried to play video games.

“Hey Ren, can I play?”
“What? You know how to play?”
“I’m a goddess. Of course I know how to play, tss.”

Now that I didn’t see coming…

She sat in the chair. Put on the headset.
I, being the evil mastermind I am, picked White Ops 3.

If I’m lucky, she’ll die in five seconds and I can mock her mercilessly.

My face looked like a mid-budget anime villain.

But…

Evelyn started playing.
And unfortunately for me...

SHE WAS AMAZING.

“Did you see that, Ren? DID YOU SEE THAT!?”

Yes… I saw it...

Another enemy down.
And another.
And another—stabbed from behind.

And then…

T-Bag.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a goddess humiliating online players with a freaking T-Bag.

The match ended. Evelyn was MVP.
She dropped a nuke.
Thirty kills, zero deaths.

This... is too humiliating.

“What a fun game, Ren.”
She looked satisfied—like she hadn’t just crushed my self-esteem.

“It’s my favorite...”
I answered, soul broken.

“You must be really good then, right?”

...

I refuse to answer.

...

“Hey Evelyn… your wings, horns, and tail—they’re gone?”
“Yeah. I asked Cynthia to hide them while I’m in your world.”
“Oh, I see...” I mumbled. “And what does she think about all this?”
“You know how she is... She wants you to come back to Khaelym. But of your own free will.”

“Wait… you mean I can go back even if I don’t want to?”
“Yup. All you have to do is die here.”
She said it like she was telling me the weather forecast.

...

WHATTTTT!?

“That’s why Cynthia asked me not to kill you. You have to choose it yourself.”
She added with a tone that made it clear she really didn’t like that condition.

“So… you wanted to kill me... again...?”
I looked at her with pure betrayal.

“Let me explain again, Ren.”
She was more serious now.

“When you died the first time —with the can— you passed through Limbo and accepted the mission to defeat the Demon King. When you died in Khaelym, you returned here. But since you haven’t fulfilled your promise, if you die again here, you’ll go back to Khaelym.”

“WHAAAAAAT!?”
My scream probably shattered glass.

“There’s no escaping it.”
She shrugged.
“That’s why the sooner we go back, the sooner we finish the mission, and the sooner you can return to this... weird life of yours.”

“Hey! My life’s not weird! It’s just... different!”

...

What am I even supposed to do...?
Why is this happening to me...?

...

After that existential crisis, it got late, and we went to bed.

Evelyn took my bed like it was hers.
Just like in Khaelym.

And I got the chair.
Because above all things… I’m a man of principle.

Even if she likes teasing me, Evelyn doesn’t seem like such a bad girl... or goddess... or demoness...

Maybe... I should go back to Khaelym with her...
No no no, Ren. Don’t fall for it! She’s just using you!

And that final thought stayed with me all night...
As I slept in a chair.
Covered by a towel.
Listening to Evelyn snore like a drunk cat.