Book 1, Verse 22

The three of us sat around the fire as Niels retrieved some of the meat from his pack and prepared it for the fire.

“So, Shinko, does Alexander's story resonate with you?” Vivian asked politely. “Or do you think it was something you ate? You did seem pretty famished this morning; maybe you swallowed something harmful by mistake.”

“N-no, nothing like that. I suddenly had a headache, that’s all. I should probably drink more water; I’ve been eating a lot of salty food lately.”

“Salty food? What does that have to do with anything?” Niels asked curiously. “How could salt make you more prone to headaches?”

I returned the curious loo, before realizing that people probably hadn’t discovered that particular effect of salt.

“Well, in my studies at the monastery, we used salt for a lot of things. But consuming too much salt leads to being dehydrated, and being dehydrated leads to headaches.”

Vivian walked over to Niels and picked up one of the pieces of meat that he had finished roasting over the fire.

“That doesn’t seem like something you’d learn at a monastery.” She mumbled, then took a bite of her meat. “Then again, what do I know? I’ve never studied at one.”

Hmm, she was right; I should figure out a way to make that information on salt sound ‘church-ly.’

“See Vivian, at the monastery, we talked a lot about salt. Those of us who are in the church are supposed to be salt and light to the rest of the world.” John told me that one a couple times.

Vivian nodded, then smirked.

“So, what, does that mean you’re supposed to make people thirsty and give them headaches?”

She laughed, and I laughed along with her.

Hearing me laugh made her stop and look at me.

“Wait, you think that’s funny?” She asked.

Yes; but I couldn’t say that without qualifying it somehow.

“O-oh, Vivian; I, er, just hadn’t thought about it that way.” I sighed. “Anyway, yes, we’re supposed to bring light to the world; salt is the only thing that is, well, salty! If salt loses its flavor, salt becomes worthless and is thrown out.”

Vivian tilted her head at that. After a few moments of thinking, she spoke up again.

“Wait, Shinko, doesn’t that kind of imply that… I don’t know, unless you’re useful to the church, then you’re not worth anything?”

I stood still.

Niels looked up from his spot tending to the meat roasting over the fire.

I opened my mouth to reply, but I couldn’t think of anything.

“She’s got you there Shinko.”

I knew I’d said something like that to John before; what was it he had said in response?

“That seems like a pretty bad way to view people, don’t you think?” Vivian pressed.

“Hold on a moment, I remember now.” I held up my hand.

Vivian and Niels both looked a little eager to hear my reply.

“It’s not that people outside the church are worthless; but rather, as a member of the church, I am called to be salt and light to those outside the church… so, um, ergo…”

Crap, I was losing track of it!

Hey, God, could you, uh, remind me what exactly it was John told me about this argument?

“Here you go.” Niels handed me a piece of the roasted meat.

I took a bite from it and sat down on the ground near the campfire.

Once Niels grabbed his piece, the three of us looked up at the night sky, and I realized something that had completely slipped by me up until this point.

I could see the stars.

And not just one or two; the entire sky was full of stars as far as the eye could see. There were swirling patterns in the night sky of galaxies, distant suns that had already gone out, and little planets brightly reflecting the light of their own stars.

“You see that?” Vivian pointed up at a seemingly random patch of stars. “That’s the constellation of the grand key. Next to it is the minor key. Over there, I think, is the strongman.”

Until Vivian pointed them out to me, I couldn’t see the stars as anything other than beautiful diamonds arranged over black velvet in random patterns.

But with each constellation she pointed out, I began to see the craftsmanship in the sky.

Each star was like a carefully arranged jewel on a grand black dress, and though to the casual observer’s eye it might appear like a random pattern, it was actually arranged in just the right way for faint images to emerge and liven it up.

Niels put out the fire, then looked up at the sky as well with a brief smile.

“Humans. Always obsessed with looking up for beauty.” He shook his head. “Tomorrow night, I’ll show the two of you some really beautiful things that, right now, you’re completely oblivious–”

“Niels, shut up.” Vivian said calmly. “We’re stargazing.”

Niels snorted in disbelief, then laughed.

“Guess I deserved that.”

As I lay on the grass of the clearing next to Vivian, I finally remembered.

“Right; Vivian, about the ‘salt’ thing.”

“Oh? You finally finished that idea?” She turned over on her side to look me in the eyes.

As she lay on her side facing me, her long brown hair curled over her shoulders and neck, making her blue eyes stand out even more in the dim light of the evening.

“Y-yes.” I cleared my throat. “You see, as a member of the church, I am called to be salt and light to those outside the church. People like, oh, you and Niels, who are outside the church, are not called to be salt and light.” I breathed in slowly. “So you see, if I fail to be what I am called to be, I am like flavorless salt; I am failing to do what I was called to do. It’s not a commentary on people who aren’t righteous outside the church; it’s about those inside the church who are failing to be righteous.”

“That… that makes a lot of sense.” She ran her hand over a few blades of grass. “I guess it implies that people outside the church need help though.”

There it was; and now she was going to say what I always told John.

“Vivian, I don’t think you need to be fix–” I started.

“Thanks for shining some light onto me, Shinko.” Vivian said quietly.

What.

She looked at my shaken expression and seemed surprised.

“I’m thanking you; is it that surprising?” She asked genuinely.

Yes! Yes it was! Why was she thanking me? I was essentially telling her that the whole point of the church is to tell people that they’re broken and need fixing! Why would she like me saying that?!

“E-er, well, um… you’re welcome, I suppose.” I muttered. “Doesn’t what I said… bother you?”

“Not really. I think everyone’s broken. It’s a good thing that there are some strange priests out there in the church who are really trying to help people get fixed.”

Niels didn’t interrupt us, and went off to his own tent to sleep.

“B-but, don’t you think it’s arrogant of me to… to say that I can fix you?” I said. Technically, that wasn’t what John actually believed in; he’d always made it clear that “God did the fixing,” but it didn’t seem like an important distinction to me.

“Is that what you meant?” She sounded surprised. “I thought it was about God fixing people. I mean, when we first met, you said that ‘God forgave me.’ I kind of figured that it was God who would do the fixing too.”

Dang it, she saw through that…

Wait, that’s incredibly deceptive of me.

I mean, it’s not like I’m actually a priest or anything, but actively lying about John’s faith to someone who’s interested in it.

My stomach churned uncomfortably.

That’s an awful thing to do; ugh, I should be more honest.

“N-no, Vivian. Sorry; you’re right. God does the fixing too. Not the church.”

Vivian pursed her lips.

“Yeah, I thought so; it’d be weird to have your God do the forgiving, but then the church has to do the fixing.” She yawned. “I’m going to go to sleep. Good night, strange priest.”

I watched her stand up and walk over to her tent.

A few minutes later, I went to my own tent.

That whole ‘salt and light’ thing.

I was glad that it didn’t apply to me.

It would be a lot of pressure, I think, to be both of those all the time.