Chapter 36: Some Sketches Remain in the Soul (III)

Kousaka-san’s footsteps had already disappeared down the hallway with the man she called her father.

Hayato-san's voice still echoed faintly in my mind—the way it trembled earlier, how his back looked so much smaller than usual as he walked away.

I had no idea what he meant when he called her daughter stupid—or why his eyes looked so full of grief.

If I ever saved her, isn't that entirely a good thing?

I mean, memories return.

Life doesn't.

Why do they have so much guilt in their voices?

Why are they wearing the faces people wear when they already decided they don't deserve forgiveness?

The woman forgave him.

I did.

There was no sophism or lies beneath it—it was all genuine.

If it's really true that I'm Kousaka-san’s lover, then I'll do it a thousand times, right?

I sighed and looked down at the IV stand I was dragging beside me. The wheels squeaked faintly on the linoleum.

That’s when I heard it—

“Itsuki-chan.”

I turned.

The woman with the light violet hair that trailed down to her shoulders.

She was still standing in the hallway, maybe ten steps away.

Her gaze was soft, almost grounding and the familiarity that gnawed at me wasn't enough to give me an accurate recognition.

But what's more concerning is the small girl that stood beside her that also carried the same color of hair and eyes as mine.

She looked between the woman and me.

Neither of them said anything at first.

“It’s been five years, Itsuki-chan.”

Her voice was soft, dreamy even.

I blinked. “...Sorry?”

She gave a small smile.

“You might not remember. That’s alright.”

Her words were careful, the one used when they're on a different territory.

Before I could respond, the girl beside her tugged at her coat gently. She looked up at me—her cheeks a little flushed.

“Um…are you…my older brother?”

I froze.

I looked into her eyes.

Same hazel flecks. Same slightly furrowed brow.

It's possible that I don't remember her, or I've never seen her at all.

Still, the word ‘older brother’ twisted painfully inside me.

The woman crouched and rested a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Yes, Kaori-chan. He’s your big brother.”

Kaori.

I looked at the girl again, and repeated it in my mind.

Kaori.

Probably the kanji for fragrance.

The woman stood back up and faced me.

“I know it must be strange,” she said. “Everything feels so far away, doesn’t it?”

I nodded slowly. “I…I’m sorry. I don’t really…know who you are.”

She nodded too. Like she’d already expected that.

“No need to say sorry, Itsuki-chan. I mean, that’s okay. At least I’ve got to see you after a long, long time.”

A pause.

She inhaled.

“You might not remember…or not wanting to hear this at all but…the woman who tricked you and dragged you into that hotel was arrested.”

I blinked.

“She probably introduced herself as a talent manager or something. She had the following and verified papers. She confessed everything and said that she was your father’s mistress.”

The word felt foreign coming from her mouth.

“Your father orchestrated everything, supplying her with the questionable contracts and money, and was even plotting to force you to Tokyo by making a scandal that will pull your image into a downward slope. He knows you’re well known at Shonan High, and wants to have you in his grasp.”

I might have no bigger context aside from what she said, but there seems to be foul play with manipulation and third parties in between.

I stared at the floor.

It didn’t feel like news.

It felt like a bruise being pressed.

This is just as my mind has begun to process it before she continued with a voice trembling slightly.

“And I—” She stopped herself and looked down at her sandals. “I let him fool me too.”

My throat closed up.

“He fooled me to think that you were taking something away from me each time you got better at your talent. He made me think that you were a rival and not a son. ”

She was already crying, but she didn’t sob. Her tears were silent.

“I let my own envy take over me,” she said. “I think it all just fell down the day I lost your brother. I never really meant to leave. I thought Kentaro was doing what was best—so I just followed and complied with his orders without question.”

Her voice cracked.

“I…became blind because I loved him too much. Now, I have learned and I’m no longer in his arm’s reach. The only person that matters now is you.”

The hallway felt like it had shrunk around us.

Kaori stepped behind her slightly, but her eyes never left me.

The woman—this stranger—closed her eyes for a moment, then looked at me again.

“I’m not asking for you to come with us,” she said, more gently now. “We’re moving to the States after the New Year. I’ve been offered a gallery position there, and Kaori’s starting school.”

The hospital heater’s breeze picked up gently.

“But I want you to decide where you want to be. I’m not pressuring or guilt-tripping you.”

The back of my throat burned.

“I don’t…remember anything,” I said quietly. “I don’t even remember you.”

She nodded again, tears still on her face.

“I know. And I won’t pretend that doesn’t hurt. But this isn’t about memory. This is about choice. If you want us in your life…we’ll stay. Even from afar.”

I looked at Kaori.

She was staring at me with such wide, hopeful eyes. Like I was a ghost from a dream finally returning.

Something in my chest throbbed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

She shook her head, eyes still glistening.

“Don’t apologize,” she said. “It’s my turn to do that.”

Then she straightened up a little, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and extended it toward me.

“I’m Shimizu Aino, your mother.” she said, voice soft. “I'm already planning to divorce your father but I'd like to keep his surname because somehow, he gifted me with the two of you that changed my life.”

I took her hand.

It was warm.

Steady.

Like holding onto something I didn’t know I had missed.

“My mother…?”

“And she,” she said, gesturing to the girl, “is your little sister.”

Kaori took a tentative step forward. “I’m Kaori,” she said shyly. “Shimizu Kaori.”

My voice cracked.

“That’s…a beautiful name.”

She looked down, flustered, and her ponytail bobbed slightly.

Then—mother looked at me again.

Her voice lowered to a whisper.

“Can I…can I hug you for a second?”

I didn’t even think. I just nodded.

She stepped forward, and then—everything melted.

And then everything broke.

She pulled me into her arms and clutched me tight—tighter than I’d ever been held.

The scent of vanilla shampoo. The shaking shoulders. The hand that tangled in my gown like she was afraid I’d disappear again.

So this is a mother’s touch.

This is…no…I don’t want to let go of her again.

I don’t know why I started crying.

And for once, I had nothing to say. Not any words. There were none that could come close to expressing the feeling coursing through every inch of me right now.

She released me and smiled, a watery but real smile.

“I missed you,” she whispered. “I missed you so, so much.”

I stood there, frozen, as a warmth I didn’t know how to name crept into my chest.

Kaori, not wanting to be left out, wrapped her tiny arms around my waist and buried her face against me.

I still couldn’t remember.

But I held them both again with eyes that didn’t stop bleeding tears.

I didn’t remember them.

But my heart painted something.

A rhythm.

A warmth.

A home.

And as the woman I now knew as my mother sobbed into my chest, repeating how much she missed and loved her son—I felt something inside me shatter.

And for the first time in years—I think—I cried in happiness too.