What guilt weighs on you?

"It's me!" someone says, and Lionel appears in the bushes. I take my hand off the dagger and exhale.

"You scared me! Were you standing there the whole time, or... did you just come?"
I say, hoping that he didn't hear my conversation. I was too careless...

"I don't know why that matters, but I just came," he says while looking at me untouched. 

Luckily he didn't hear anything. At least probably. I don't know if he says the truth, but he doesn't look shocked or anything. So I have to guess that my secret is safe for the time being.

"Are you really fine?" Lionel asks.

"Yes, I am just talking with Sisli. Is your face ok? Let me check!"

I come nearer and heal the cut on his face by stroking my index finger over the cut in one stroke. While his wound sparkles golden, he takes a step back and turns to the side. 

"Thanks... when you want to eat something too. The others are cooking something.
I don't know if it is edible. But you can try." 

Then he disappears with a slightly red face in the bushes. Weird reaction. Maybe I was a bit too pushy.

"Finally something to eat. Yummy. Let's go!" Sisli shouts happily.

"Fine!" I say and walk back with Sisli on my shoulder.

Back in the camp. The others are sitting around a campfire over which they hang a cooking pot. I take a closer look. The soup, or whatever it should be, looks weirder and more disgusting than any potion I made.

"Come, eat. I cooked for us," Knox says while he already eats this greenish, creepy-looking soup.

"I think I am not hungry...," I say, a little nervous.

"You too? Lionel said the same! But Caspian, you should eat your soup," he says to Caspian, who is sitting on a stone with a big bowl of the soup in his hands.

"You know what, I think I am not hungry after all!" he says, very nervous.

"Come on, you should try," Knox says with an expectant look on his face.

"When you can eat it, it will definitely taste better than it looks... and smells..." Caspian says and gives in.

"Urrgh..." he shouts after taking a sip and falls back half conscious.

I jump to Caspian to check if he is fine. He is breathing, and it should not be more than a bit of food poisoning.

"I can't say he is right, but he is somehow fine, I think," I say to the others relieved, and step back.

"Silly human! It can't be that bad," Sisli says while she goes to Caspian's bowl, which has fallen to the ground, and takes a sip. 

Without a word, she falls backwards to the ground and becomes unconscious too. It's like her soul is silently leaving her body in disgust of the taste.

"Sisli…!" I shout and take her in my hands, as I don't want her to lie on the ground.

"It's not quite to Sisli's taste. Maybe we should eat something else," I say to Knox.

"Ok, then more is left for me," he says and goes on eating.

Since he does not seem to be offended, we eat some bread. Time flies and the night already begins. The campfire is the only light left in the darkness now.

"You can lie down; I will guard the camp first," Lionel says.

"Thanks, bro," says Caspian, who is conscious but still looking a bit unwell and lies down instantly.

Knox is already asleep and snores loudly. Sisli, who is lying on my shoulder, is about to fall asleep too. So I will have to help him out, as I don't want to sleep right now.

"I will guard the camp! I slept while driving, but as far as I know, you didn't sleep all the time. Let me do it. You can replace me later."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. go sleep a bit."

"Ok," he says while he sits down and leans with his sword in his hand on a tree.

"I will help you..." Sisli says, before she falls asleep.

I sit down before the fire, and the time goes by while I think and reflect on everything.

"What guilt and insecurity do you feel?" I say to myself loudly.

"What do you mean?" Lionel says and opens his eyes slowly.

"You are awake...?" I ask, shocked.

"Yes, I have a light sleep. What do you mean with your question?" he says.

"I will be direct with you. I have the feeling that you didn't tell me everything. At first you kind of pushed me to join the team. And then you mainly sway in the background, like you are observing everything. What's wrong?"

I should be the one observing! But in all this trouble I had no time to observe him more...

"It's complicated."

"I don't care. Tell me, or... I will leave the team!" I'm fibbing and turn around.

Come on, say something, or I really have to leave the team, I think nervously while he hesitates.

"It's my fault! I was there, the day the princess was kidnapped. On this day the king wanted me personally to guard the princess. It was a cloudy, dark, and silent night.
I guarded the door of the princess's chambers until I heard her screaming. I kicked the door in. But when I entered the room, a masked person was standing on the balcony with the princess in his arms. As I commanded him to release the princess, he said that he can't do that because the princess will be the sacrifice for the ritual of the mage of the north. He said that if I want to save her, I have to find the mage myself. I sprinted towards the kidnapper, but before I could reach him, he threw himself with the screaming princess over the balcony railing. As I looked down, both of them disappeared."

"And what happened then?"

"The king was about to strip off my title as he blamed me for my failure. But prince Cecil took the blame by claiming that he had sent me away and guarded his sister himself. As the king could not punish his only heir like this, he sent him to the border."

"And why isn't the king doing something to save his daughter? Couldn't he raise an army for that?"

"The army is fighting on the border, and officially he has appointed me, the hero, to save the princess. No one will question this, as I am blessed with the strength of the ancient gods and have defeated numerous enemies of the kingdom. But when I fail, my reputation will be greatly damaged, and the king can get rid of me easily. But that's not the main problem. Prince Cecil's hands are tied because of me. He treasures the princess very much, and as the only heir, he is important to the king. But the princess isn't. So we are the only hope for saving the princess."

Drama and intrigues! The novel I read was light entertainment. An adventure, a little fight, some romance, and a happy end in the sunset, but this...

"That is much shocking information. Is that why you're watching everything from the background? Out of caution?"

"Yes. I don't want to worry you all." 

"Don't worry, we will defeat the mage and save the princess."

"I hope so," he says.

However, he seems somewhat relieved after sharing all the information with me. 

In the next 5 days I thought a lot about our conversation and asked myself how I could secure the happy ending. Failure is not an option, but I couldn't find an answer so far. After our conversation Lionel seems somewhat relieved. So he seems a little more loose while traveling, but still tense.

Fortunately the rest of the journey to the dungeon was nearly without any disturbances. The only inconvenience is that since then, whenever I sleep, I have these dark dreams. The voices and images of a village burning in purple flames appear in my dreams and haunt me. 

It's night, and we built up our camp near the dungeon. We want to enter the dungeon in the next morning after some rest.

Lionel and Knox guard the camp. The others are already asleep.

So I close my eyes too, and my nightly torture begins...