Chapter 2: Kousei

I looked at the re-test papers I was just handed. I didn’t even have to look at the grade, the pitying look from the teacher was all I needed. I nodded my thanks and walked out of the classroom. School had just ended for vacation but all I could hear was ‘you failed,’ fading in and out of consciousness like a pendulum.

On the path of avoidance, they inevitably encounter their fate. It was the opening line of my essay and it felt all too real now. I opened my locker and pulled out my bag. There were some people left in the hallways, talking about who knows what. I didn’t bother, I just slipped past them all.

I had nearly reached the exit when a voice called out to me. A voice I've often associated with salvation, but this time, I felt incredibly weary.

“Kousei!” (幸征)

I turned around with trepidation and came face to face with my best friend, Yashinori. I decided to stay silent and simply nodded a greeting.

“Aw, don’t be like that, Kousei.” The big guy that he was, easily threw an arm around my shoulder with a grin. “I was just invited to karaoke, wanna come?”

Ah yes, karaoke. A staple of a high schooler’s life, complete with booze, drugs, making out. A place that didn’t fit the standards my parents thought of for me. “No thank you, Yashinori-kun. I’m a bit busy tonight.”

“Tcha, well, I’ll text you the address in case you still wanna come over.” He looked down and smiled before taking off. He disappeared behind a corner, no doubt to meet with the ones who invited him.

I waited for a moment, maybe two. Pointless, I concluded, before I turned around and headed towards the bus stop.

My family was really rich, but they came from poor backgrounds. Truly a rags to riches story, a fact they loved to spout whenever they could. They also flaunt it as much as they’re allowed to, which is a lot. A two floor penthouse overlooking the city, sure why not. Six cars of various companies and furnishings, but of course. A company that owns perhaps a quarter of the stock exchange, not entirely sure how they got that, but I’m sure it was completely legal.

Despite all that glitter and gold, they still wanted me to experience at least some hardships. Which, unfortunately, means I need to take the bus downtown. It was uneventful, to say the least. The world blurred by as my thoughts seemed to preoccupy themselves with what I had to inevitably show my parents. Perhaps I will get lucky tonight, and they won’t show up.

I chuckled at the empty words as I stepped off the bus. It was loud downtown. Cars, music, screaming, what have you. I didn’t like any of it, in fact, I hated all of it. The time it took for me to go from the bus stop to my house was always quick. I would keep my head down and make a beeline for the door, occasionally brushing past people.

Once inside though, I calmed down and a sort of melancholy washed over me. A sense of calmness that only arrives when you’ve come to terms with your own comeuppance. It lingered the entire way up and settled in my stomach when I finally plopped down on the couch.

Just as I was about to close my eyes, maybe fall into that dreamless void, my phone pinged. I pulled it out and blinked at the text message. My parents were delayed. I sighed and pulled myself up. They had recommended getting dinner without them, like usual, so I decided to head out.

As I marched through the streets, I thought of the contradictory nature of humans. Despite my parents' insistence on me roughing it out like they had to, they also insist on only dining at Michelin star restaurants. I couldn’t be bothered to think about the implications of that and merely went to such restaurants.

The one that I liked to frequent when I’m left alone like this is a quaint, almost hole in the wall, restaurant by the name of Wisteria Bough. The interior was very simplistic, almost rustic even, and the prices were very agreeable. The wallpaper was something to be desired though, very contrasting in nature one would comment.

The walls depicted a lovely European medieval setting, complete with a castle atop a hill and a rural city down below. What was of interest though, were the almost delicate wisteria trees that dotted the landscape. When asked, the owner would just laugh and proclaim that wisterias should belong everywhere.

I slid open the door and plopped myself down in a chair. A waiter noticed and soon came over.

“What would you like, dear customer?”

“I’ll have a number 42.” I replied tersely.

“Would you like a drink to go with your order?”

“Water.” The waiter bowed before disappearing.

Wisteria Bough was quite the controversial restaurant in many circles, much to the amusement of the owner. The Michelin Guide granted this restaurant a single star very begrudgingly due to its exceptional food, often praised as the best in the country if not the world. However, many fine diners deign to exclude this restaurant from high cuisine merely because of how simplistic the overall atmosphere is in the restaurant. Despite that, you still would occasionally see an elitist sitting amongst us peasants.

I smiled when I caught a glimpse of the waiter coming back with a decently sized bowl. The number 42 is the last item in the menu as it’s a surprise item. The owner will personally make it for you in hopes of making it a surprise and exciting. As such, it was probably the most ordered dish on the menu.

I thanked the waiter before glancing at the simple katsudon before me. I sighed with relief and took hearty bites. There is a slight hazard when it comes to ordering 42. If the boss was ever in a bad mood, nasty dishes could be placed in front of you. One time I had calamari dipped in peanut butter and mint tea sauce. It was incredibly gross looking yet it tasted pretty good. I have never looked at calamari the same ever since.

I finished my dinner with a satisfied prayer of thanks, paid for the bill and hurried out. While it was relatively early and summer time, the temperature had dropped considerably to a pleasant breeze. I felt comforted just a little as I brushed my way through the throngs of people, back to my house.

However, I walked slower on the way back. The clattering around me only seemed to get louder and louder, but my feet didn’t want to move any faster. I sympathized with myself, after all, I didn’t want to see those disappointed faces.

“Kousei, can you please come down for a second?” My mom called one day in the middle of primary school. I'd never heard that voice before, so I walked down with a little trepidation.

“Yeah, mom?” I asked as I walked into the living room. I was only met with my test results that I had gotten yesterday. It said 76% Correct. I looked back at her confused. That was good, right?

“You need to do better, Kousei.” She crouched down to look at me at eye level. “Your father and I didn’t get to where we are today because we got 76%, we got here because we got 100%, consistently.”

“Wha…what does consis…”

“No, listen to me.” She placed a firm grip on my shoulder and really looked into my eyes. I could only stare back, slightly scared. “Kousei. In order to get somewhere in the world, really somewhere, you need to be good. Better than anyone else. That’s how you stand out amongst all the others and eventually get a good job with lots of money. You want that, don’t you?”

There was a noise to my left and I looked up, unsure of what was happening. My dad peered down back at me with the same stern look. It was then that my life changed and I felt it behind their gaze, boring deep into my soul.

Ever since then, I’ve strived to become the best, with overwhelming success. But, my success doesn’t match my parents’ expectations. Still, I strive forward because I know of a future away from them, away from the problems that haunt my every hour.

With a click, I open the front door and collapse back on the couch. I liked this couch a lot, it was comfortable and always reliable. Sometimes the only reason I could get through the day was knowing that this couch was waiting for me. But just as I was about to relax and in a similar manner to before, a ping rang out from my phone.

I pulled it out, not wanting to delay the inevitable. The range of emotions I felt when I saw that text message was somewhat hard to describe. My parents were delayed until the very next day which meant more time to myself before it all comes bearing down. That relief went from happiness to sheer dread. Knowing my mom, it wouldn’t take them very long to find my test scores and even wake me up just to declare my failures.

The weight seemed to grab me from behind and pull me deep into the depths of the couch. It was almost as if I had been tied down by an anchor. In a blind panic I reached for one of the safest places I knew, Yashinori’s side.

“Kousei? You alright there?” His voice crackled through the phone. It was distorted by some very loud background noise.

“Yeah…could I come to the karaoke place?” I asked, almost tentatively.

“Really? Let’s go! Come on over, I’ll save a mic for you!” His voice seemed to fade away from the phone for a bit only to be interrupted by a roar. Yashinori’s voice came back with an evident smile. “Everyone’s excited to hear your singing voice. Come over, yeah?”

And just like that, I found myself on a bus heading toward the address Yashinori had sent earlier. It was as busy as usual yet it felt almost serene. A very unnatural silence, but serene nonetheless.

The world felt fuzzy, staticky even, as I stepped off the bus. The ground seemed to sink underneath my feet but was still solid enough to support my weight. The anchor was still cast off, bringing my shoulders further and further down, yet, I saw salvation ahead.

With a determined mind, I forged forward down a street my mother would’ve fainted at if she'd seen it and stopped at the karaoke place. I opened it without an ounce of hesitation and walked into the lobby, only to find Yashinori waiting with a big grin.

“Kousei! You came!” He walked over and gave me a clap on the back. “Come, come, we’re in room five. It’s got some pretty sweet digs for a karaoke room.”

“Sorry about coming so late, Yashinori-kun.” I stammered, a bit embarrassed.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s just fun to see you out and about.” His smile turned a little wicked. “Now, what can I do to hear you sing?”

I chuckled awkwardly at that. “Preferebly nothing. I don’t like singing all that much.”

“Exactly! So name your price.” He looked determined enough as he came to a stop in front of said room number five.

“100% on my test.” I don’t know why I said that. One second I was all determined, the next, a shuffling awkward mess. “Ha…sorry about that. Don’t worry about it.”

Yashinori’s face fell a little and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “So that’s the real reason you’re here? I get it, kind of breaking my heart here, but I get it. Hey, tell you what, I’ll pay you to sing a duo with me. How’s about that for a deal? We get to take the whole world by storm and be distracted from home worries all one fell swoop, how about it partner?”

I took a look at this outstretched hand then looked up at his genuine smile. A small laugh escaped my lips. “Sure, let’s take this world by storm.”

“Haha, shall we then?” He opened the door only to be greeted by a resounding cheer and then a sudden chant of ‘Kousei.’ “Looks like this little slice already loves you. Heh, shall we take it all as our next step?”

I remember stepping into the room with a big dopey grin, but after we got settled, things started to get a bit more stale. The pungent smells of alcohol and smoke clouded the room, almost to the point of choking. Interest in me as the new variable was quickly forgotten to small pleasures. Even my one guiding star seemed to have left me to mess around with a boy.

Any weight that I might have felt from the anchor was now drowned out by the parched feeling in my throat. I held it off, kept everything to myself and small, watching every little movement, even if it only garnered my attention for a split second. But, with every formation, it crumbles with constant undue pressure. I excused myself much to no one’s interest and ended up in the hallway.

I caught the glance of the employee who was seated in the lobby and gave me a pitying look. I could only stare back with blank eyes. Minutes passed like that, just me trying to catch my breath as well as my wits. I don’t know how much time passed by when Yashinori finally came out to look for me.

“Hey man, too much?” I nodded dumbly. “Thought as much. Hey, I completely understand if you just want to bail, the others too.” I nodded again. “Just…I suppose if it gets too much, my place is always open.”

“Yeah…yeah, okay.” I took another deep breath. “I might take you up on that offer. Say…I don’t know, sorry?”

“Yeah, I’ll tell them.” He paused and seemed to look into my soul. “We’ll be done around 10:30, got that?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Yashinori-kun.” My cheeks were a little flushed and I just felt miserable in general. “I’ll…I’ll get going. Thanks for inviting me though.”

“Of course. Best of luck.” He shot an encouraging smile before going back into the room.

I took another second to look at the door before making my way back to the bus stop. The bus just left so I had to wait a few more minutes until the next one. While I was waiting, a phone call interrupted by melancholy.

My parents. I picked up hesitantly, wondering of all the disasters that might come out of those speakers.

“96%.” My heart sank at the stern voice of my mother. “I thought you promised that you’d do better this time, that you would do better than all the rest. Did I mishear that?”