Chapter 20

To stay… What was my reason for wanting that? I couldn’t remember ever having a reason to stay, except the need to eat and pay my bills, which had always made me keep a job until I could no longer stand it. This time, I had decided to stay because I would create more mess if I left. Was that the reason that Selene had spoken about?

My thoughts strayed, and I barely listened as Karim explained the history of this world. He’d decided to give me a lecture so that I would better understand our quest, but even though he was usually fun to speak to, I couldn’t concentrate this time, and my thoughts soon strayed again. Could… Could the reason to stay be that I wanted to make this place a better one? Was it even true that I could? The cat had said so, but I’d never dared to believe it. Disappointment wasn’t fun, so it was better to be realistic, but what if that could be a reason to stay?

Karim stopped speaking and looked at me, concerned.

“You seem to be troubled by something, Rina”, he said softly.

He caught me by surprise, and I sighed.

“What is it?”, he continued.

I don’t know what made me say it, but I heard myself ask,

“Can I… Can I really make a difference in this world?”

He looked at me closely.

“Even Goddess doubted herself when she walked among us”

“She did…?”

I looked at him, surprised.

“She did, but she still resolved to make the right choices despite her doubts.”

“How?”

With gentle smile

and sword in my hand,

with love, care,

and an open heart.

With courage, fire,

and strength of arms,

I don’t regret

walking this path.

I stayed silent as he finished, contemplating his words.

“I wish it were that simple”, I whispered in the end.

“You don’t need to do it alone”, he smiled.

I shrugged, and he chuckled.

“What?”

“You are just like her…”

“Selene?”

He nodded.

“She is always willing to help others, but never accepts help herself.”

I stared at him. Was I like that? At least that would explain why it felt like we never reached each other, and all our interactions were awkward. But I didn’t know any other way of being. Asking for help and relying on others had never brought me anywhere.

He put a hand on my shoulder.

“Shall we finish for today?”

I nodded and left, wandering through the palace, trying to gather my thoughts. I soon became aware of the people’s looks and quiet whispers as I passed them. Did they already consider me their Goddess? The thought of them reacting like Aki was overwhelming and suffocating. I had no idea what I would do if that happened. Was that the price for making a difference? If so, it was a bigger price than I had expected, but I’d made my choice.

Somehow, my feet carried me to the temple I remembered from my first night. I recognised it, even in daylight. I looked at the marble figure of the Goddess and sighed. An ageless woman defending her people from an invisible blow, her shield held out and her sword raised high in the air. So that’s what I was supposed to become. That’s what they hoped for when they summoned me. I sighed and looked down. I wasn’t like that. Why had I come instead of her?

“My lady…?”

I recognised the voice and turned. It was Altea. She stood between the tall shrubs that decorated the temple yard, wearing a simple robe. She bowed.

“I am sorry if I intruded on you.”

I shook my head and tried to smile as I wondered what she wanted me to reply.

“You don’t disturb me…”

I only hoped she wouldn’t do something that would freak me out, like crying or grabbing my hands. She smiled.

“I wanted to show you our temple”, she said quietly, and I tried not to sigh. “Will you come with me?”

I had no other choice but to follow, and she led me between the tall columns until we entered a garden on the other side of the temple. The vegetation here looked wild and unkempt, and the only object of interest was a low mural depicting a young woman in a simple tunic walking on a stony path with a star shining above her head. I turned to Altea, confused why she had taken me here. She smiled.

“This is how we saw her in the beginning, but as time passed, people began seeing her as someone who protected us from evil rather than someone who taught us how to make the right choice”

She sat down on the grass, and I sat next to her and gazed quietly at the mural, wondering for the first time about who this Goddess was.