Chapter 11: Warmth

It was late October outside—rainy, damp, and muddy. There was nothing pleasant about it. You could romanticize the weather when you were inside, behind a closed window, watching the raindrops trickle down to the windowsill. At such moments, it seemed like the world was a beautiful and peaceful place, and you felt as if you would forever remain behind that window, never having to face the outside.

Mom, mom. Will you read me a bedtime story?

Of course, dear. What story would you like to hear tonight?

About the valiant Antigone.

Sometimes your tastes scare me. But alright, let’s wait for your dad first.

He’ll be back soon.

Yes, soon. But for now, go put on your pajamas and get ready for bed.

....

....

....

.....

Dad....

Hey! What are you thinking about?

Oh, nothing. Just a bit tired. Let’s take a short break.

Some time had passed since my trial. I had managed to settle in reasonably well. Officially, Millisenta’s guest room was now my home! I wasn’t allowed to change the décor, but that wasn’t something I needed.

The most important thing was that my very strange life, filled with various events recently, had finally gained some stability.

I didn’t want to be a freeloader, but that wasn’t the plan. Lady Phoebe had arranged for me to help out at a local farm. It wasn’t exactly a dream job, but sometimes it was nice to work with your hands. I remembered how in my previous life, I had often thought about moving to the countryside and setting up my own farm. I dreamed of growing cherry tomatoes; my mom used to make the most delicious sun-dried tomatoes...

Sigh. I wonder if I’ll ever get to taste them again. Memories of home frequently popped into my head, but I tried not to dwell on them. I decided to let events unfold for a while and see where things would lead.

In addition to working on the farm, I trained with the young elves who would become the city’s future guard. Since I wasn’t particularly good at sports or physical activities, these sessions were challenging for me. It was also frustrating that despite their younger age, they seemed to excel far beyond me. Millisenta occasionally dropped by to check on my progress...

It was nice to watch her bright laughter when I struggled with something. She had also become my history teacher. Lady Phoebe decided it would be beneficial for me to understand how this world worked.

You were talking about the dwarves.

Don’t think too much of yourself, I remember everything. But seriously, let’s put the lessons aside and take a break.

You should be teaching me! I thought you would be excited.

Why would I be?

You’re such a fervent patriot; you cared so much about everything. I thought you’d be keen on drilling local propaganda into my poor brain. Yet here you are, sleeping through lessons.

Honestly, I wasn’t that good at school, and world history always put me to sleep.

The great and magnificent Millisenta turned out not to be so perfect after all.

I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.

Enough fooling around! I really am interested in learning about all these dwarves, goblins, and so on.

Well, I’m leaving. How boring!

Millisenta got up from the table and headed toward the kitchen. It felt incredibly unfair of her to do this to me. But I was glad we could mess around like this from time to time. After all, living under the same roof as her was wonderful.

Alright. Let’s put the lessons aside.

YAY! I’m glad you said it yourself; otherwise, I’d have had to ignore you for the rest of the day.

That’s not necessary; a lot can be learned through conversation.

But we definitely won’t be talking about geopolitics or anything super serious today.

Aww, you never like anything. So, what do you want to talk about?

Tell me about your life. You know, in your old world.

You already know all the important stuff.

I know your biography, but I don’t understand what kind of person you are.

In what sense?

Well, think about it. We’ve known each other for almost a month, I’ve had a chance to see you in different situations, observe you, and what I see... I don’t understand.

It would be easier if you asked more specific questions.

You look at yourself in the mirror? You have this face. I don’t know how to put it, but I’ve never seen such a sad and empty expression before.

My face is normal—just ordinary.

That’s not all. Despite looking like a storm cloud, you constantly joke, laugh a lot, get along well with children, and are very curious. You’re interested in so many things.

I don’t understand where you’re going with this.

I mean, you’re a very contradictory person. Even with my ability to read your thoughts, I don’t understand you at all. That’s why I want to get to know you better.

I don’t quite get your motives. To me, it seems like I’m just an ordinary person. Maybe a bit gloomy, but that’s about it. But I don’t even know... Where to start?

You can start from the very beginning.

If we’re talking about my birth, well... there was nothing special. Except that my grandfather gave me my name. I never really spoke with him since he passed away a couple of months after I was born. I never met either of my grandfathers, and honestly, I sometimes feel that emptiness because of it.

That’s sad. I’m sorry you didn’t get to spend time with them. For us, it’s a bit different. You know, we live long lives. So I’ve seen even my great-great-great-grandmother.

That must be cool, talking to such distant relatives.

I wouldn’t say it was a particularly interesting experience. She constantly insisted that I should find a husband soon rather than doing what I’m doing.

Oh, so you have that too!

I think the generational gap exists everywhere, just in different forms. But please, don’t change the subject and continue telling me about yourself.

Alright, alright. My childhood was nothing special. It was an ordinary childhood. My family was neither rich nor poor. I don’t know what you call people like that, but we called them—average.

So, mediocre?

Never doubted you, thanks. But you know, I haven’t finished talking about my grandfather.

Was he some sort of special person?

Of course! I remember once finding old photos from his youth. He was incredibly handsome. Probably, girls must have been crazy about him.

Well, you know, if everything is as you say, it’s strange that he’s your grandfather.

Stop pretending; I know you like how I look.

Stop talking nonsense!

Haha. That was just a regular joke on my part, but Millisenta turned red. I wasn’t sure how to react, but I think I should add it to my list of victories.

So, about my grandfather. Obviously, I was only told the good things about him. He loved his family very much, especially my mother. Every day, he would wake up before everyone else to clean the shoes, prepare breakfast, work hard, and in general, everything he did, he did for others.

You had a great grandfather.

But he left this world by his own will.

What do you mean?

When I grew up a bit, I found out that on his birthday, he hanged himself.

How could that be? That’s a terrible sin! At least, it’s considered one here; is it normal in your world?

No, it’s a sin for us too.

But what happened? Everything seemed fine; he had a grandchild, and then this.

I don’t know what was going through his mind, but I often thought about his action afterward. And it seems to me that he burned out from the inside. He tried to make his desired reality match the actual one, even though he knew well that reality was nothing like he had imagined. He had a difficult relationship with my grandmother, and the day before his birthday, he even had a quarrel with my mother.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the corners of Millisenta’s eyes were a bit wet. Did my story really touch her so much?

Hey... What’s wrong?

It’s just...

She realized there was no point in hiding and started crying with all her might.

Nooo, why? It’s just a story about someone you don’t even know. He’s not even from your world...

It’s just so sad. He tried so hard for his family. Did so much, and in the end, he was alone on his birthday.

It’s sad, but that’s life. Things like this happen.

You speak as if it’s not a story about your grandfather but about someone else.

It’s not about that.

Then what is it?! That you’re just a callous and cruel person?!

Millisenta was now completely unable to control her tears. Honestly, I panicked. Tears from a girl are a weak spot for any man.

No. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. As I mentioned earlier, I thought a lot about what he did. And I realized that being angry or sad about it is not right. By doing so, I would be disrespecting what he believed in and loved most.

In truth, I didn’t fully understand what I wanted to say to her. I had indeed thought a lot about it. Taking one’s own life is the most desperate act a person can make in this world. But every thought I had on the subject always ended with the feeling that it wasn’t right to judge him for it. It seemed he wouldn’t have wanted it to be treated that way. I think he was just tired. His love hadn’t run out, his faith hadn’t run out, but his strength had.

Maybe we should talk about something else.

You know... I’m sorry. Now I understand why you have that expression on your face. Such horrors, and it’s just the beginning of your life.

Stop mocking my face. You should see yours right now!

I look wonderful in any form, and you’re the villain who made me cry. You should have thought a bit about what stories you were going to tell.

You have no idea how many times I regretted deciding to tell it. But you asked me yourself.

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for listening. I don’t know why I decided to tell you. I shared it with other people in my past world, but this time it feels different.

I’ve got an idea.

What?

Tomorrow, we’ll go to the Sacred Grove to perform a ritual in honor of your grandfather. I don’t know what your customs are, but in this world, his soul will be laid to rest and sent to another world with all the necessary honors.

Is that the enclosed area we passed by last week?

Yes.

But you said yourself that no one is allowed in there.

It seems you weren’t paying attention. It’s a forest where the souls of our ancestors live. They climb up the trees to the very sky and stay there in eternal blissful sleep. And of course, you can’t just enter and disturb their rest. But on the Festival of the Sun Lily, the spirits descend to us, and we can visit them.

Oh, I remember now. My world had similar rituals and festivals. But my grandfather wasn’t an elf at all.

I’ll talk to Lady Phoebe in the morning—she’ll surely be able to help us with this. She must, as we shouldn’t treat the souls of such good people in any other way.

It seems...

It's so strange. I never received understanding or support from the hundreds of people in my home world. There, I was like a stranger. I wasn’t needed by anyone. Not a single person showed the same incredible respect and empathy for my story. Not one person, except one elf.

An entity that might still just be a dream to me. An entity from another world. To which I am absolutely nobody. Accepted me into their home and embraced what was important to me with their heart. Without hesitation, without judgment, without doubts and misgivings, without any benefit.

Just like that... Just.

Ha. What irony. What irony.

You have tears.

No.

I can see them.

You’re mistaken.

Elves can see very far. My vision is better than yours.

But you’re mistaken.

Alright, maybe I’m mistaken.

While I was lost in my thoughts and emotions, trying to escape from the trap of feelings I had fallen into, I hadn’t even noticed how I ended up in Millisenta’s embrace.

It’s so... warm here.