The Lady In the Skirt

Aki, Lyra, and Bolto stared at the poorly disguised business lady. She shook her branches once again, emphasizing her bush-ness. They looked toward the current combat situation, attempting to ignore her.

"Let's just pretend she's not there." Aki whispered.

Only a few moments passed before a series of thuds approached them. The lady in the skirt had shuffled herself beside them, bouncing the briefcase she was sitting on without removing her behind from it. They sighed in unison as she began clearing her throat obnoxiously to get their attention.

"It's pretty hard to ignore her when she wants attention so badly." Lyra chuckled.

"It's obvious that you have seen through my immaculate disguise and wish to interfere." The lady said, pushing up her glasses. "I can't have that and therefore need you to sign this."

She handed each of them a piece of paper. It was a document for noninterference with the name Elenore J. Bibble signed at the bottom.

“Elenore J. Bibble?” Lyra read aloud, scrunching her nose.

“Oh,” Elenore purred, looking down her nose in smug happiness. “So my reputation precedes me.”

“No,” Aki said flatly. “We just read it off the paper.”

"Kael and I have gained a bit of a reputation. Knowing who we are, you must be itching to sign." She said, a pen floating in front of her, waiting to be taken.

"What happens if we don't sign?" Bolto asked.

"Then negotiations commence until we find a compromise." She smiled, the benign comment dripping with menacing connotation.

Aki looked beyond Elenore to see Haruto speaking with the System. She clutched the regeneration potion in her fist. She had made it for him, and it would be delivered.

“Haruto!” she shouted, raising a hand to wave.

A blur flew past her, followed by a thunderous crack that split the air. Aki blinked quickly, a cut appearing on her cheek. A splintered tree trunk next to her smoked from a barely seen impact.

Aki stared at the obliterated tree with wide eyes, cheeks puffed in fear. Elenore stood with her briefcase in hand, eyes unreadable behind her glasses. Almost immediately, Lyra had pulled two short-fused Roman candles from holsters at her hips, pointing them at Elenore.

“I won’t miss next time,” she said, brushing her hair back into place like nothing happened. “Now sign.”

"Whoa, now." Bolto said, stepping between them. "There's no need for that. We'll sign."

"At least one of you is responsible." Elenore pulled her briefcase behind her, and the pen floated toward him.

Bolto accepted the pen, twirling it in his fingers as he signed the document. He turned the paper around, showing the girls. Lyra stifled a snort, and Aki rolled her eyes, but a smirk tugged at her lips.

The pen was passed around, each one signing in turn. As the final signature was set, the pen disappeared, and Bolto collected the papers. He handed them to Elenore, who spread them with one hand, allowing her to read each at once.

“Tess Tickles… Anita Dump… Hugh Jass…” she said slowly, nodding to herself. “I am pleased we've reached a mutual understanding.” Her heels clicked as she began to walk away, humming smugly to herself.

"I'm surprised that worked." Aki said with a sigh. "She was scary."

"She said that she's that guy's partner. From the little I've seen of him, she'd have to be." Lyra agreed.

"So what's the plan?" Bolto asked. "Do we meet up with that guy? Help Homer and Lorien?"

"I think we should link up with Haruto. They seem to be after him and his floating eye." Aki said while avoiding Lyra's sly, judging gaze.

Their conversation halted as Elenore suddenly stopped, looking at the papers again. They watched for a few seconds as metaphorical gears turned in her head.

“Tess Tickles… Anita Dump… Hugh Jass…” she said, turning to run at them. “YOU ABSOLUTE CHILDREN!”

Lyra had already lit her Roman candles. Elenore ran serpentine, avoiding the burning balls that flew at her. They exploded in small bursts as they hit the ground. She bounced any that would hit their mark away with her briefcase.

She threw her briefcase forward. Lyra ducked to the side as it slammed into the ground like a hammer, revealing a retractable cord attached to the handle. Elenore whipped it around toward Aki and Bolto, forcing them to duck as it smashed through multiple trees on its way back to her.

“You think this is funny?” she snapped. “My signature was on those! You’ll pay for making a mockery of the Bibble name."

She held out her hand, a sewing needle appearing in it, like the pen before it. Her briefcase snapped open with a clack. Thread flowed from the case through the eye of the needle, tying itself off.

Bolto pulled a small toy-like carriage from his coat. He rolled up his sleeve to reveal a sectioned track attached to his arm. He rolled the little carriage's wheels back along the track, aiming his arm toward Elenore.

"As a voluntary member of the Aldam guard, I've deemed you a danger to its citizens." Bolto held his aim firm as the carriage in his hand struggled in his grip, trying to drive forward. "Come quietly and you won't be harmed."

"If only you would have signed properly." Elenore pulled at the needle in her hand; thread whistled as it unspooled from her briefcase. "You could have avoided this."

Bolto’s toy-like carriage let out a mechanical whirr, its tiny engine revving like it had something to prove. Lyra crouched low beside him, muttering under her breath as she checked her remaining fireworks.

“I can't tell what her job is,” Lyra whispered. "Office Sewer?"

“She breaks trees with a briefcase and dodges projectiles in heels,” Aki replied. “It could be a combat job.”

"It doesn't matter." Bolto said firmly. "We can get her appraised later.

Elenore narrowed her eyes as they spoke, adjusting her glasses with one gloved finger. “You’re misunderstanding the stakes,” she said, voice calm and level. “Let’s begin negotiations.”