Regret and Reincarnation

“My name is Mimi Masaki. I was a senior in high school. I was always popular and never seemed to falter. I had everything…. But…. it seemed I had nothing. I don’t know… I thought everyone liked me for being talented. Instead, they liked me for the wrong reasons. Some for connections. Others for… Nefarious reasons. I was scared. But my drive for my studies and my parents’ approval. It was all I had. Such a fool I was. Nothing seemed to make my parents happy. My blooming talent to study and learn was a blessing and a curse. To become the top of my class meant absolutely nothing.”

“Nothing…” Mimi muttered.

“Why…?” She asked herself within her fractured mind. “I thought I had it all..” Her doubt began to infect her mind. A glimpse of her hands shaking. Doubt converted into sadness. Consciousness is nothing but a blur. White noise is all she can hear. Numb in all fibers of her being. Sadness festered within Mimi’s heart. Turning into something malicious. Anger. Pain.

Her heartbeats were all she could hear. Taking steady breaths only for them to be quickened by her anger.

“Senpai?” Mimi heard a voice in the void of her mind. “Senpai? Are you okay?” She kept hearing a familiar voice until Mimi awoke from her deafening trance. Their eyes met. It was Mimi junior, Nozomi. Small and petite, yet firm and comforting. Her voice soothed her darkened heart from worry.

“Senpai! Are you okay? You look pale.”

Knocked back into reality. Mimi took deep breaths trying to keep some semblance of composure.

“Y-yes.. I am okay. Just under the weather… There is much on my mind..”

“I understand! You have entrance exams in two months! You are incredible, Mimi!”

“Yeah… Thank you.. How is archery coming along?” Mimi asked.

“It’s great! I nailed a bullseye many times! I’m finally getting the hang of it!” elated, Nozomi jumps in joy. A smile so contagious Mimi smiled with her.

“Come on! We have to go!” Said Nozomi. She wrapped her arm against Mimi’s. Slowly bringing Mimi to her feet, Nozomi tries to take Mimi to the door of the classroom.

“What are you doing, Nozomi?” Mimi is taken aback by Nozomi’s pushing and shoving at the point of almost falling to her knees.

“We are going to the arcade of course! You have been gloomy all day! My treat! But you have to get something for my birthday! Promise?”

“I promise.” Mimi reassured Nozomi. The anxiety and fear escaped into the aether. Her mind sharp and light. A sense of ease she hasn’t felt a long time.

“Nozomi always knows how to calm me down.” Mimi thought. “What a friend I am..” She sighed heavily. Nozomi’s ears twitched for a second. Her posture slowly shifted to Mimi with stiffness in her muscle. Her fiery eyes rekindled with anger this time.

“I heard that sigh! I don’t wait to hear another sigh and any frowns! You are going to smile if that’s the last I do!”

“B-but - -”

“No buts! Come on! we got games to play!”

With twinkles in her eyes, Nozomi opens the door in enthusiasm. An anticipation of arcade sounds, drinks and snacks. Without warning, the classroom turns white. Everything disappears and they begin to fall. A funnel begins to form like they are being guided to a certain place.

“What's going on!?” Nozomi yelled out.

“I don’t know! This is strange! It is like we are being pulled somewhere else!” Frightened, Mimi reaches out to Nozomi. Lights move beside them at a remarkable speed. She looked to see that it was her classmates from different classes and years. Nevertheless Mimi tried to get closer but to no avail. She could change her trajectory.

“Mimi!” Nozomi yelled from the top of her lungs, but it would not change a thing. Mimi would leave the funnel-like path and go to a different path. She drifted away as her tears bled from her eyes.

“Why…? Why did I drift away…?” Mimi’s mind is shackled by sadness and by her own self loathing. Her eyes in a darkness she always had. The people who wished to use her. Yet, something felt so warm. She didn't know what it was, but it soothed her soul like the words of her friend, Nozomi. Glimpses of all the fun they had together. The times Mimi helped with her homework. Studying for tests. The constant pestering to join the archery club when she had so much talent. The karaoke. Singing despite her voice being atrocious. When Mimi opened her voice, she had such a mesmerizing voice where Nozomi watched in awe. Mimi felt uncomfortable but she kept going.

“I always wanted that type of voice. In a way, I'm envious. But I am happy you are my best friend. Thank you…”

She holds onto the sphere of light tightly. Little by little, the sphere of light enters her body. Mimi’s eyes cease her tears of pain, embracing the warmth of the sphere. Driven deeper into her body until it merges. A light so bright Mimi drifts into a deep sleep. Nothing by white.

“Warm… It’s so warm…”