Gambling with the Youth

“This sucks!” I complained as my stomach let out a growl.

“Why the pip didn't we think of demanding a supply of food after that last Gamble Showdown?” Rollnaldo moaned as he lagged behind me with his cart.

The two of us were hiking our way through a dense pine forest. After roughly an hour and a half since leaving Blackjack Crossing, our enthusiasm quickly faded, as we realized that we were completely unprepared and undersupplied for this journey.

Rollnaldo held up his map in one hand as he pulled his cart with the other. “According to this, there should be a town not far from here.”

“That's great, but we still don't have any money.”

He stopped and slapped the side of his cart. “All I need to do is make a couple of sales and we'll be eating steak and lobster tonight.”

Soon, we made it to a dirt path through the woods. Shortly after following it, we made it to a town that consisted of nothing, but log cabin structures.

“Let me show you how it's done.” Rollnaldo pulled his cart up to the town center, right beside a well. He dug through one of the boxes on his cart until he pulled out a large red fabric banner, which he staked into the ground with two long collapsible poles. Across the banner it read, ‘Authentic Matthew the Giant Twine Ball™ Merch’.

There was a cricket chirp as there wasn't a single person around.

“Maybe nobody wants to buy your junk.” I responded matter of factly.

“I already told you before, don't call it junk!” He snapped at me. “Have some patients. This town is relatively small, it won't be long until someone notices us.”

My stomach felt like it was on the verge of eating itself. If he didn't do something soon, I was contemplating going back out into the forest and foraging for berries or trying to eat some leaves…

Suddenly, there was a beacon of hope as three children approached us.

“Unc got that bussin loot or nah?” A ginger headed kid with a ramen hairstyle spoke.

“What?” Rollnaldo stared at the child in confusion.

“Whatchu selling, boomer.” Another kid with blonde hair said. This one also had a ramen haircut.

Rollnaldo nodded, seeming to understand now. “I only got the most authentic merch, all the way from Dice Town, the home of Matthew the World's Largest Twine Ball.” He began opening his crates one by one. “We got Matthew hats, Matthew t-shirts, Matthew action figures. We even got the official Matthew playset, featuring the Matthew Mobile™ and the Matthew Cave™. So, what can I interest you kids in?”

“Tch.” A third black ramen haired kid clicked his tongue at us. “Anyone with a brain can see this merch is cap.”

“No way, kid…” Rollnaldo started to sweat nervously, as these kids were onto him. “This merch is one hundred percent legit.”

“Ok boomer.” The black haired kid sneered at him.

“Yo, who let unc sell with that crusty polygonal body?" The blonde kid remarked, which got snickers from the other two kids.

Rollnaldo suddenly got an irritated look on his face. “You listen here you little pips. Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners?”

“They're just kids, Rollnaldo. Just ignore-.”

“Ayo, look at this brokey with no kicks. Unc looks like he gets his clothes from the lost and found.” The ginger kid interrupted me.

“Hey, that's not… well actually that's partially true…” I trailed off.

The group of kids continued hurling insults at us for about ten minutes straight, until finally getting bored and wandering off.

I shook my head. “I can't believe we just got bullied by a bunch of kids.”

“This isn't over. I'm not about to let those little pippers the best of me!” Rollnaldo kicked up some dirt in frustration.

“I get it, but they're just kids. Isn't it a bit petty to get back at them?”

He let out a bitter laugh. “No, not at all. Besides, I just remembered another way we can buy food.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How does getting revenge on some kids get us food… you're not suggesting we eat them, are you?”

“Don't be ridiculous.” He pointed at my sweatshirt pocket. “Do me a favor and pull out your player's card.”

I did as he said and took out the card. As I held it up, it displayed the hologram with my info again.

He gave a satisfied nod. “You see that section that says reward points? Those are points you earn from winning Gamble Showdowns. Those reward points can be redeemed for a number of prizes and you just so happen to be only fifty points away from a free meal voucher, which is valid at any restaurant in the kingdom.”

It dawned on me what he was getting at. “So you're suggesting that I challenge those kids to a Gamble Showdown and beat them to earn those remaining reward points.”

The two of us stared at one another with mischievous looks on our faces, as we let out a maniacal cackle together.

🎰🎰🎰

“Those little pips are over there!” Rollnaldo pointed with malice.

The three ramen haired boys were sitting under a pine tree on the edge of town, as they played with what appeared to be fidget spinners.

“Those kids screwed with the wrong people.” I concurred, as the two of us marched over, ready to teach these kids a lesson.

As we approached, they immediately took notice of us. “Sheeesh!” The Blonde haired kid let out an annoying high pitched sound.

Rollnaldo cringed. “What the pip did my ears just have the dissatisfaction of hearing?”

“Y'all boomers lurking harder than my shadow.” The ginger one roasted us.

I put my finger out and pointed at them assertively. “It's time you kids learn some respect. I'm challenging all of you to a Gamble Showdown!”

“Touch grass, Unc.” They all laughed, not taking my challenge seriously.

“It's the law. You little jerks have to accept no matter what!” I pressed them.

“Ight, what you tryna cop if you win?” The black haired kid responded.

“Uh… that's a good question...” To be honest, they didn't really have anything I wanted. All I was after were the reward points. I thought for a moment, until something dawned on me. “Hey blondie, what size shoe do you wear?”

“Wouldn't you like to know.” He taunted me.

“Fine then if I win, I'm taking all three of your shoes… oh and I also want any allowance money you have on you.” Maybe shaking down a bunch of kids was a new low for me, but they had it coming.

“Bro’s chopped.” The ginger kid shook his head.

“Go ahead and pick the game you little pippers.” Rollnaldo ordered them.

The group of kids muttered amongst themselves for a moment, every once and a while they would let out a chuckle. Eventually the black haired kid turned to us to deliver their decision. “‘kay unc, we decided we're playing high roll. Three rolls for each player.”

“What game is that?” I consulted Rollnaldo, rather than these kids, since unlike them, I could actually understand him.

“It's a simple game where each player rolls the dice a set number of times, then adds up each of their rolls. The player with the highest total wins… wait a second if this is a dice game, where's their-.”

Rollnaldo was interrupted, as the ginger kid proceeded to pick him up and toss him. “No cap.”

Rollnaldo tumbled around in the dirt, until he landed face up on his four pipped side. “Hey, I didn't agree to-.”

The kid picked him up and tossed him again, completely ignoring him. This time he landed on a three.

“Seriously pipper this isn't-.”

For a third time the kid tossed Rollnaldo against his will. Now covered in dirt, he landed on a five.

“That equals twelve. Beat that boomer!” He gloated.

Next the black haired kid stepped up. “Time to flex on these boomers," he said as he tossed Rollnaldo again.

After three more times of tossing Rollnaldo against his will, the black haired kid ended with a score of six, four, three, equaling a total of thirteen. So far the black haired kid had the highest score.

Rollnaldo, who had given up trying to argue, sat silently with an irritated look on his face.

The blonde haired kid walked up to him and picked him up over his head. “Sheeesh!” He let that stupid noise out again. Three times in a row, he threw Rollnaldo as far and as hard as he could. After three rolls he managed to get a five, four, and a five, for a grand total of fourteen.

Rollnaldo, looking a bit sore, hobbled over to me. “You know what to do, Lucky.” He whispered. “Just try not to toss me too hard.”

As I lifted him up and prepared to toss him, I was suddenly interrupted by the three kids simultaneously shouting, “this ain't it chief.” They held their hands up while each of them glowed red, yellow, and blue.

“Pip!” Rollnaldo swore, as he began to glow as well. Once the aura subsided, he began to feel himself up and down, confused. “Nothing happ-.” His eyes became wide as he went silent.

“What's wrong?” I asked.

“This isn't good… I think those kids collectively used their gambling sorcery to get rid of my six side.”

Sure enough, as I spun him around, the side that typically had six dots on it was completely blank.

I slapped my forehead. “That means the only way I can win now is to roll a five, three times in a row.”

“No use holding back your gambling sorcery now. Give these pippin kids everything you got!” Rollnaldo encouraged me.

“You're right. We haven't lost yet!” I held out my hand and began to glow blue. My gambling sorcery only skewed the odds in my favor once per match, so after this first roll, I would be on my own for the next two.

Tossing Rollnaldo, he didn't even tumble, as he landed directly with his five pipped side facing up.

“Tch. That's cap.” The black haired kid complained.

“Nice, Lucky… just try not to give me a concussion on your next throw.” Rollnaldo coughed as he laid on his side.

I picked him up again. This time I had to depend on my own skill.

This game involves rolling a die, but these kids never specified how.

I chuckled to myself, as I tossed Rollnaldo up in the air as straight as I could with his five side facing up.

“Nah, you're cheesin’ for real, unc!” The ginger kid complained.

“Cry about it, kid.” I mocked him, as I picked up Rollnaldo again. Doing the exact same thing, I threw him up and once again he landed with his five side faced up.

The three kids hung their heads in defeat. “Bruh, we're cooked.” They simultaneously whine.

Both Rollnaldo and I jumped around in celebration, as we pointed and laughed.

“Go on, hand your shoes and allowances over.” I held out my hand.

“That's what you kids get when you pip with the wrong mother pippers… also your haircuts are stupid.” Rollnaldo gloated.

The kids glared at us with dirty looks as they reluctantly handed over their shoes and a couple handfuls of poker chips.

“You boomers are unironically cooked. On God. For real. For real.” The ginger kid made one final remark, as the group of them ran off.

Checking my players card, I was now up to two hundred and fifty reward points. That combined with the poker chips I shook those kids down for, Rollnaldo and I were going to be eating good tonight…