Together

It was dark in the Asan hotel room; the kids were asleep. Jayla, next to me, had her face pressed into the fabric of her bed, but murmured to me, “You okay?”

“Mm. Why’re you asking?”

“You cried out in your sleep. Was it…about them dying?”

Hardly. I stayed quiet, not answering.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Yes, it was, for writing this universe, but she didn’t know that. I answered dryly, “Sure.”

“I feel like I didn’t dream the right thing.” Jayla flopped over, staring at the ceiling. “I dreamed about those two soldiers.”

“You had to kill them.”

“No I didn’t…forget it. I’m going back to sleep.”

She said that, and closed her eyes, but her breathing didn’t get slower.

I got up, picked up my bed, and moved it closer to hers; laid back down and took her hand.

I’d helped this girl survive this time, at least, and maybe if I could comfort her it’d excise some of my sins.

Unexpectedly, it helped me fall asleep too.

When I woke up next, birds were chirping and light was filtering in through the high windows. The room was empty except for me and Jayla, who was slowly stirring awake, rubbing her eyes.

“Good morning,” I said.

“Mmnh. Where is everybody?”

“Probably down at breakfast.”

“Makes sense.” Jayla stretched and rolled off her bed. “I’m hungry. Thought I’d never feel hungry again after yesterday.”

“Me too.”

“To what?”

“To both.”

Jayla bit her lip and looked down.

“And it’s fine that we’re hungry,” I said, trying to convince myself more than anyone, “we’ve got to keep on living, we’ve got to eat.”

Downstairs there was an archway that led to a wide, airy room. Long tables were set up and spread with food, at which groups of more affluent-looking Asan chatted to each other. Our ramshackle group was all sitting at one table to the side. Some still looked unwell, poking at their food.

I sat down and poured myself a large bowl of stew, then took a bit of everything else since I’d never tried any of it in person. I was setting off on my own after this; I wanted to have a good amount of energy, and this was an all-you-could-eat setup, so why not take advantage. Jayla, watching me, seemed to get the courage to take a good amount for herself as well.

“Naomi,” Milo said, looking wan and sipping tea, “I wanted to talk to you about your future plans. We’ve—generally, as a group—decided to take it easy, try to blend in.”

“Endure what it’s like to live as a conquered Asan,” Jayla said.

Milo winced, but acquiesced, “Somewhat.” Speaking to me again: “You draw attention, so we’ll have to ask you to strike out on your own.”

“That’s fine,” I said. “I was already planning to do that.”

“I’m going with you,” Jayla said.

Oh shit, I’d been too nice to her and she’d imprinted on me.

“You can’t. Isn’t this your family?”

“Jayla, you’re almost an adult. If you want to, then just know the risks.”

“She shouldn’t come,” I said.

“I want to. I have to—” Jayla cut herself off. “Please.”

I’d really been intending to strike out alone. I didn’t know what I was doing, and so I really didn’t know how to lead someone else. Despite that, I found myself saying, “Okay. It’ll be dangerous, though.”

“I know.”

Of course she knew; her whole life had been dangerous. I couldn’t argue after that.

We ate well and got a little more sleep. At lunch, the Asan banded together to wish Jayla well, giving her encouragements and exhortations and pressing little gifts into her hands.

Jaden approached me after he talked to Jayla and put a small cloth pouch in my bag. I could hear a few coins rattling inside. “Where are you going?”

“I was thinking the capital city, Ky’an’th, if we can get there.” Ky’an’th was where my novel was set, so it was something like my home territory.

“Are you going to keep fighting?”

“Yeah. If I can and if it’s okay for Jayla.”

“Of course it’ll be okay for Jayla.” I wondered if he was going to elaborate but he just said, “Good luck to you too.”

There was a train station about four hours walk from Yesau that would take us to the capital. However, the ride was long, expensive, and scrutinized. They might not even let an Asan on.

“I’m fine taking the long way,” Jayla said, and I agreed. We decided to find a merchant or a traveler with their own way of transport to hitch a ride with.

In the middle of the day, the city was quieter than a city in Canada would ever be, as people rested away from the heat. However, the hottest period of the day—midafternoon—hadn’t yet occurred, and there were some in a hurry to get their business done—or to find shelter in the city.

A loud argument was taking place outside the merchants’ and travelers’ entrance between a guard and the owner of two wagons. Jayla and I had left the Asan quarter and gone around the wall; I held out my hand to stop about fifteen meters from the argument.

The wagon owner pushed his hair back out of his eyes, glaring at the guard. His hair was straight, black, and went down to the middle of his back; he had a peeling sunburn along his nose, which wrinkled as he furrowed his brow in distaste. “It says mixed-race.”

“That doesn’t apply to you people and you know it. You’ll just cause a public nuisance.”

“We’re travelers providing a public service, exactly who you want to let in!”

“Stop arguing. We don’t allow Koteran in our city.”

A small cluster of people dressed in pattern-printed cottons and silks were in the wagons and sitting on the edge, watching the argument. Their hair leaned towards the side of straight (long for men, short for women); their skin leaned towards the side of medium brown; but they had a vast internal variation even in their small group—to the extent that a girl with curly blonde hair was perched on the top of a wheel.

“Wow,” Jayla whispered to me. “Hey, you ever seen a Koteran show? I only saw them once before, when I was a little kid.”

Never in person, just like how I hadn’t seen an Asan in person before yesterday, but I knew quite a bit about the Koteran. That was the Ry’keth’s court magician’s ethnicity, after all.

“Yeah, a couple times,” I whispered back. “If they’re going the right way, let’s try and go with them.”