Eldritch Space Hunter Five: VII - Deep Fried Calamari and the End of the World

The asteroid split, and a mechanism raised the large bomb from its center. Along the side was stenciled DEEP FRY and a string of numbers that probably only made sense to some government accountant or engineer.

Kenichi looked at his mechmote, the tired eye blinking. “It's now or never,” he said, holstering the thing.

“You got it,” the mechmote said in its neutral monotone.

He climbed up onto the back of the missile and tried to decide if he should sit, stand, or find some other way to ride the missile to its final destination. He saw a handhold and decided to just go with that. A green button flashed beside the handhold, so he pressed it.

The missile fired its engines, and with a lurch, fired out into space, away from its asteroid. There was a display by the handhold, and it flashed the message “HOMING.” Some of the thrusters adjusted the angle and trajectory of the missile, and Kenichi watched as in the distance, a large glob of something grew larger and larger. The autozoom gave him a glimpse of it. It was a writhing ball of tentacles, and one large eye that was, for the moment, not looking at him. It seemed to be peering at the battle between the Hunters and the Star Queen. The massive planet watched, its one eye almost showing a human level of concern for the battle that held its attention.

The display changed. “MAGNETIC CLOAKING.” Something rippled around the missile, and for a moment, Kenichi felt a strange sensation run through his body.

Then his helmet started ringing. Someone was calling him. He tapped the side of his helmet, hoping that would answer the call. It did.

Marumi's face appeared in the corner of his field of vision. She looked as if she had finished crying, her face a bit blotchy, but she had splashed some water on it so as to not look like she had just been crying.

“Kenichi,” she said.

“Yes?” he said.

A message appeared on his field of vision saying: “Unable to send messages at this time due to heavy magnetic interference. Receive mode only.”

Marumi squinted at the screen. “Oh,” she said. “It says that you can't respond. Well, that's okay.” She took a deep breath then let it out. “I just wanted to call to let you know that I'm sorry for how I behaved. I'm sorry for telling you that I never wanted to see you again. I overreacted.” She looked to the side, blushed a little. “I think I was just really upset about the flop at lunch, and you were easy enough to blame. I'm really sorry.” She looked down, fiddled with her hands, then looked up again. “I look forward to hearing what you had to say, if you'll still be willing to tell me. Also, I have plenty of that soup left, if you really did like it.” She smiled. “Just come back safe, okay?” She lingered for a moment then said. “Well, that's all I had to say. Bye.” Then she hung up.

Kenichi looked at his hand, the one clutching the handhold, then he looked to the giant tentacle planet that was fast approaching. He wished he had read more from that folder, knew how to turn this thing around, or otherwise get off of it. His basic understanding of physics told him that if he just let go, he would continue on the same trajectory he was currently on. Maybe he'd tail behind the missile and get cooked by the engines, or maybe he'd float along beside it until he smacked into Asturoth. Either way, even with the full force of his boot thrusters, the best he could do was orbit the Eldritch Planet until the missile exploded.

This was a one-way ticket.

He looked out to the universe. “Please,” he said to the vast swath of stars. “Give me a chance.”

Then the missile crashed into the side of the squid planet.

The force of the impact sent Kenichi flying off the missile where he skidded across the soft surface of Asturoth's face. Tentacles as big as trees writhed around him, but none imposed an immediate threat against him.

This missile had not exploded. Kenichi was still alive.

Then, like a sea shifting with the tide, the massive yellow eye that peered out into space watching the battle started to move. The vast pupil, the size of a moon, gravitated slowly until it was facing Kenichi. He stared into that abyss until it felt like his eyes started to hurt from the strain. Then the eye blinked and looked elsewhere, because even elder gods get eyestrain.

The tentacles near him started writhing angrily. Then his phone started to ring. He tapped the side of his helmet.

“Seltzer,” said the voice on the other line. The face of Katje appeared in his field of view. His mirror shades reflected back his communication device. “There seems to be something wrong with the detonation mechanism of the warhead.”

“Yeah,” said Kenichi. “Actually, I've been rethinking this whole thing. I'd like to, uh, come back to the station. I think maybe being a Space Hunter isn't for me. You know?”

He didn't get the same message from his viewscreen as before. Apparently, the magnetic distortion mechanism had stopped with the impact.

Katje tsked. “That's a very difficult request, you know,” he said. “We'd have to send someone to Asturoth to get you, and that would be a dangerous mission, as now he appears to be very irritated.”

Kenichi dodged a flailing tentacle. “You're telling me,” he said.

“It would almost certainly result in your rescuer dying. Even if you were to survive until a ship got there, the likelihood that it could take off again after picking you up is really small as well.”

Kenichi paced around the planet, stepping over the tentacles. “What are my options?” he said.

Katje twitched his nose. “Detonate the warhead manually, or die,” he said. Then he raised his eyebrows. “Oh,” he said. “I may be able to help you.”

“Yeah?” said Kenichi. “How?”

Katje looked around, then down, then back at Kenichi. “The details are complicated. You leave that part to me. But if you manually detonate the bomb, I promise that I'll get you off that planet, safe and sound.”

Kenichi nodded. “Deal,” he said. “What do I have to do to detonate it manually?”

The Felixian smiled. “Just open up the panel next to the handhold. There's a big red button there that says ‘Manual Detonation.’ It's hard to miss.”

“Okay,” said Kenichi. He started walking toward the missile.

“Just think of all the deaths we'll be preventing if we do this.”

Kenichi looked up at the mess of tentacles swarming around the missile. He grunted a vague acquiescence.

“I'll stay on the line with you until you do it. For moral support.”

“Okay,” said Kenichi. He scrambled past some tentacles and started climbing the side of the missile. There he found the handhold. He saw a little knob beside it with a label that said “Panel Release.” This he turned, and the panel fell away. The big red button stared up at him like the eye of an angry elder god. “Found it,” he said. “Does it have a countdown or something?”

Katje removed his glasses. He held his eyes closed for a second. “I want you to look me in the eyes while you push the button.”

“Okay. But how long is the countdown?”

Katje opened his eyes. They were vibrant and purple. “Push the button,” he said. “You'll have all the time you need.”

“Okay,” said Kenichi. He met the gaze of the admiral and slapped his hand down on the button.

***

Marumi sat alone in the bar. C4N had offered to clean up the bowls of spaghetti soup, but she waved him away. He had some other repair project to work on in the back, so he gladly left. He was looking much nicer than when he had come in. Even though his eye still flickered, his entire chassis was looking so polished it almost looked new.

She peered out the window, wondering if she had said enough to Kenichi. Even though there was this little feeling in the back of her mind that he was trouble, or at least, had trouble following him, or maybe he just followed in the wake of trouble, she still felt a tiny bit of fondness for him. It wasn't really his fault that nobody liked the soup. It was her own fault for being hasty.

She poked at a meatball in a nearby bowl. She was nervous, anxiously awaiting his return. She'd never felt that way about any of the other Hunters, or even any of the other crew on the station. There was something special about Kenichi.

She looked out through the window again. As a child, she remembered wishing upon a star, looking up into a sea of blue gems suspended in the sky and whispering her hopes and dreams to the distant things. It was preposterous, she knew, as stars were just big nuclear reactors in the sky, and no more cared about your wishes than they did about what you had for dinner last night. Still, looking out the window now, she whispered her wish to the star that caught her eye.

Then it exploded.

She sat there silently, losing track of time, the tines of her fork resting in the broth. It was only when some people entered the bar that she realized that she had been sitting there in shock for quite some time.

“I could go for a drink,” Bunny said.

“Me too,” Riku said.

“I'm hungry,” Maka said.

“You're always hungry,” Hollis said.

“So are you,” she replied.

“I'd just like a cup of tea,” Elana muttered.

Marumi stood from the table and stepped behind the bar. “The usual?” she said, pouring whiskey into a glass and sliding it across the counter to Riku.

He looked down at glass, then at the barstool next to where he stood. The puppet still sat there. He gently nudged the glass back. “I'd like to try something different today,” he said.

Marumi nodded. She began to mix him up a drink.

“Your loss,” Bunny said, taking the glass of whiskey and, after tossing the puppet aside, sitting on the barstool. She drained the glass.

“Say, Captain,” Riku said. “Now that we've beaten the star children, what are your plans?”

Bunny wiped her mouth with her sleeve. “I'm going to retire while I still have most of my original parts.”

“Don't I know it,” said a robotic voice from the kitchen.

“What about you?” she asked Riku.

“Maybe go see the universe. Marguerite wanted to see the waterfalls on Trappist IV. I think I'll start there.”

Bunny nodded.

Maka and Hollis looked at the bowls of soup on one of the tables. Maka poked the meatball with a fork. Hollis scooped up one of the stars and some broth in a spoon. “Is it safe?” she asked him.

He sniffed it. “It seems safe,” he said. He took a sip. “Let me know if I start to look like I'm dying.” Then he took another spoonful. And another. “Wow,” he said. “It's actually pretty good.”

“I'll be the judge of that,” said Maka. She skewered the meatball on the fork and pulled the entire thing out of the soup. Then she took a huge bite. “Hmm,” she said. Then she swallowed. “Not bad.” She took another bite, and another. “It's actually pretty great.”

“High-five!” said Hollis.

She slapped him a high-five and the meatball fell off the fork, and into the bowl of soup.

Elana sat at the far edge of the bar, sipping a cup of Earl Grey tea. She was keeping her idle hands occupied by making another puppet. This one had black hair, like Kenichi, piercing blue eyes, like Kenichi, a green jumpsuit, like Kenichi, and she even embroidered the sleepy eye sigil he wore. She looked up from her work and saw the other puppet lying next to a few empty glasses on the bar. “What have you been up to?” she asked, picking it up and looking it over.

Marumi gave Riku a new drink. This one was in a curved glass, and its colors were gradations from orange to yellow, like a sunrise. He picked it up, examined it, then took a sip. “Not so bad,” he said. He looked at Bunny. “I've been spending too much time looking backwards,” he said. “It's nice to actually get to look forward to something.”

Bunny smiled, and for a moment, she looked like her headshot. “You know,” she said, “I've always wanted to see the waterfalls on Trappist IV.”

Riku grinned. “Well, I have two tickets.”

Marumi slid another whiskey across the bar for Bunny. She held it up, but stopped before drinking it. “Oh,” she said. She looked at Marumi. “Pour yourself one too, dear,” she said.

Marumi, a bit confused, poured herself a drink. She used the green bottle, green like her eyes, and poured the liquid into a small glass. “What are we toasting?” she said.

“This one's for Seltzer,” Bunny said, raising her glass. Riku raised his as did Marumi, though tears began to well in the corners of her eyes when she realized what this meant. Down the bar, Elana saw this, and so she raised her own cup of tea. Maka and Hollis raised their fork and spoon respectively.

“To Seltzer!” they all said before taking a drink.