Bitter and Sweet

We never reached a proper resolution. There was no forgiveness, no words of encouragement, no amends. At my words, Lae said nothing. I don't blame her, I'm not deserving of words. After that, I went on my way in search of proper food for us. We wouldn't survive the night comfortably with only berries in our stomach. And going on a hunt was the perfect way to escape the situation like the coward I am, but also to give Lae time for herself.

It was an hour and a half until I returned once again, this time with a bit of meat wrapped up in a rudimentary carry bag I made with leaves and vines. I quietly prepared our meal. Neither of us had any desire to engage in conversation. Eventually, the food was done, and just as quietly we had dinner. The meat was juicy, but I couldn't find it in me to enjoy it. 

During my search, I found no signs of threatening monsters, so we confidently put out the campfire and both went to sleep. I was tired, and I'm sure she was too. But despite it all, I have not been able to sleep. I'm turned, facing away from Lae, completely wrapped up in my thoughts. Some of them of guilt, regretting everything I have done thus far. Some of them of strategy, wondering how I could get much stronger so a similar tragedy never happened again.

As I was lost in my thoughts, I heard a faint sound coming from where Lae was sleeping. I could tell she stood up. And her steps slowly became louder as she got closer to me. Part of me believed she'd stab me in my sleep, if I'm being honest. Instead, she simply lied down beside, much closer than I expected. She pressed herself to my back, and wrapped an arm around me, catching em completely off-guard. "Are you asleep?" She whispered. Her voice was weak, like a weak animal's.

"Not yet." I responded, matching her volume.

"Good." She hugged me tighter. Her voice began to crack. "I'm sorry, Kenta."

"Don't be. You didn't say anything wrong." I reassured her. 

"No, Kenta. I did." She shook her head, her forehead rubbing against my back. "I was angry. I am angry. But I took it all out on you. You tried to protect everyone. You even almost died because of it. You did all you could. And all did was blame you for everything." She hugged me even tighter, as if she was holding onto me like a lifeline. "I'm sorry."

Hearing her apology made everything hurt even more. She doesn't know she's justified in taking her anger out on me. I have done nothing good for her. I have been alive in this world twice, and both times I have hurt her beyond repair. 

"I am the Hero. It was my job to protect your village. So don't-"

"Then we'll get stronger!" She shouted, her voice filled with emotion. "We'll get stronger, like you said you would. Both of us." Her voice began to crack. She sounded like she was in the verge of tears, but was doing her best to hold them in. "I don't want anyone else to feel like I am right now. Not ever. And if I can do something, anything, to prevent that, then I will."

I don't understand. Why doesn't she hate me? Why is she forgiving me? "Lae..."

She sniffled. "If being the Hero is too tough for you, then let's be heroes together."

Her words made my chest feel warm. Ever since I realized I was weaker than before... No, ever since I rewinded time to correct my wrongdoings, I forced myself to carry all the burden of being a hero by myself. I convinced it was my job, and mine only, to make everyone happy. I convinced myself that if I failed, it was doing them a disservice to them. I was not making up for the horrible things I did before. But I was never alone. Not before when I took it for granted. And not now.

I shifted my body, turning towards her. Even if it was dark, I could tell she was looking straight into my eyes. "Then let's do it. Let's both get stronger. Strong enough so we have no more regrets. Strong enough so we can kill the Demon Lord once and for all."

For the first time ever since her village was destroyed, Lae smiled. It wasn't a smile filled with confidence, nor was it a smile that dispelled all the hurt she was feeling deep within her. It was a smile that hoped that things maybe could get a bit brigher. "Yes... Let's." She embraced me once again, closing her eyes and pressing her head against my chest. 

"You don't have to stay like this, you know?" I murmurred sheepishly. Not even before the rewind I slept so close to her like this. But my words fell into deaf ears, as I could hear Lae's rhythmic breathing, the breathing of someone sound asleep. I gave up attempting to keep any distance. I guess I'll humor her, just for tonight. She needs it more than ever.

The morning sunlight shined between the sleeps, bringing a soft illumination to the clearing. I awakened, feeling completely rested. And to my surprise, Lae was no longer in my arms.

"Looks like somebody overslept. Didn't think the hero would be on the lazy side of things." I heard a teasing voice from nearby. It was Lae, sitting by a small fire. In front of her, were a couple leaves sprawled out on the floor. On them, were nuts, the same kind of berries as yesterday, and cooked turnips.

"Well, sorry for being tired." I pointed at the food. "Where did you get all that?"

"Oh, you know, you were just taking so long to wake up, I took it upon myself to get us some improvised breakfast. Not bad, if I do say so myself." She looked almost proud of her meal.

"It's very... green." I pointed out. Not a single meat in sight.

"Well, we neglected our veggies yesterday. I figured we should have some at least. I was only able to find turnips though. And nuts and berries again, I guess, but I know they aren't veggies."

I scooted over. "Hey, food is food. I don't mind." I took a bite of a turnip. It wasn't exactly a gourmet meal, but not bad at all. It seemed Lae had waited for me to wake up to eat, as she began to feast on what she prepared as well.

As we were about finished, I decided to say what has been on my mind. "... You look better today." I pointed out. Part of me didn't want to bring back such a sensitive topic again, but I need to know how she's feeling.

She looked down, a sad smile on her face. "I'm not exactly back at 100%, mind you. I... still miss everyone dearly." She raised her look, her smile becoming a little more genuine. "But I know they wouldn't want me to mope forever. So I refuse to stay down in the dumps."

And with that, she tood up, stretching her entire body. "But enough of that already. Now's not the time to grief. Once I'm stronger, I'll head back and give them the goodbye they deserve." She spun around, hands behind her back. "So I say we get going. If we hope to reach the capital before nightfall, we gotta move."

And so she began marching, humming a little tune to herself. I know she's trying her best to not think about everything that has happened, but I'm glad to see that joyful shine in her eyes. That's the Laelith I remember. Always joyous, cheeky, brimming with positivity to brighten everyone's day.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't rush-"

"Ouch!" Exclaimed Lae as she fell unceremoniously to the floor.

And then I remembered. "Ah, right. Your foot. Don't force yourself, you dunce. You're gonna hurt yourself more than you already are."

She stood up again. "I'm fine! I'm fine! I won't force it too much, I'll be okay. Besides... I kinda don't want you carrying me all over the place again." She pouted, her cheeks looking like a pair of pufferfish.

I snickered. Yeah, this was the usual Lae. And I wouldn't have her any other way.