Parties, Fame... and Crossfire

After the battle against the scorpion plague, the village erupted into applause.
They carried us on their shoulders—literally—chanting our names like we were some kind of medieval pop stars.

"Ren! Ren! Ren!"
"Evelyn! Evelyn!"
"Nymeris! Nymeris!"

Excuse me? Nymeris and Evelyn too? They just stood there watching while I did all the work!
Said with love, of course.

Although… I have to admit they both seemed to enjoy their moment of glory—well, one more than the other.
Evelyn shone like she was on a runway, smiling, waving, and puffing her chest out (literally and figuratively).
Nymeris, on the other hand, looked like she was going through the five stages of a nervous breakdown. She was so red I was afraid to touch her in case she exploded.

When we got back to the center of the village, Arnold—our friendly lumberjack with traumatic scorpion flashbacks—ran to greet us with open arms.

"Ohhh, thank the gods you’re safe!"
"Of course we are, what did you expect?" Evelyn replied, arching her back like she was posing for a statue.
"This calls for a celebration! We’ll have a feast!!"

The whole village responded with a war cry worthy of a peasant revolution:
"YEEEESSS!!"

Night fell as if someone had flipped the celestial light switch.
A huge bonfire crackled in the middle of the square, lighting up the happy faces of the villagers.
Music, laughter, rustic dances with a high risk of spraining something. The usual.

Evelyn, of course, was the life of the party.
Half the village was on her side (men whose jaws had dropped to the floor thanks to her cleavage), and the other half was against her (women whose glares could incinerate stone).
Her? Radiant.
Me? Hungry.
Is this girl always going to be like this…?

I approached one of the tables piled high with food. There were skewers glistening like they knew they were going to die deliciously.
I grabbed one. Deep bite.

"This is amazing!" I said with my mouth full.
"Right?" said an old lady who looked like my grandma… if my grandma wore an apron stained with viscera.

I nodded enthusiastically, grabbing three more skewers and inhaling them like air.
"I’m glad you like them. After all, we made this feast thanks to you," she added with a warm smile.
Too warm.

…
A shiver ran down my spine.

"Uh… ma’am, what are these skewers made of?"
"What do you mean, what? They’re scorpion!" she said as casually as talking about bread—"Grilled, they’re to die for, right, Mister Ren?"

A drop of cold sweat rolled down my forehead.
I swallowed. And also… scorpion, I guess.

"Hero Ren!" a little boy shouted, running up to me with eyes full of admiration. "Can you tell me how you defeated the monster?"
"Uh… well, you see…"

Do I tell him the truth? Or the “truth”? You know… the one that sounds better in history books.

"Axel!" Arnold intervened like a knight in lumberjack armor. "Don’t bother our hero. He must be exhausted after saving us all."
"Oh! Sorry, Mister Ren," the boy said before running off to join other kids playing with wooden swords and the very real risk of accidental decapitation.

"Thanks," I whispered to Arnold with a sigh of relief.
He just winked and handed me a cup of something that smelled suspiciously like medieval glue.

"Mister Ren, may I speak with you for a moment?" Arnold said, his tone a little more serious… though still smiling.
I hope Evelyn hasn’t broken something and left me to pay for it.

"Sure, go ahead," I replied, not entirely convinced.
"It’s about Nymeris," he said, glancing toward the bonfire thoughtfully.

"Nymeris?" I repeated, curious.
"That’s right. As you may have noticed, she’s a very reserved girl. Ever since I found her, I’ve raised her as my own daughter. But she’s never been good at socializing."

"I see…"

"I’d like to ask you a favor," he continued, locking eyes with me.
I think I know where this is going…

"I’d like you to let Nymeris join your group."
And there it is! Called it!

"I noticed that when she was with you, she seemed more… alive. Like a girl her age should be, you know? That’s why I want her to go with you. She has no future here among crops and manure."

Arnold really meant it. You could tell he cared about her.
And now he’d put me in a tough spot.
How the hell do I say no to a guy who can split logs with one hand…?

"So, Mister Ren… what do you say? Will you accept Nymeris into your group?"
"No."
…
"So, Mister Ren… what do you say? Will you accept Nymeris into your group?"
"...No."
…
"Ahem… I’ll ask again, just in case it wasn’t clear," Arnold said, pulling out a small pouch of argens and handing it to me like we were making a shady deal under a bridge.
"So, Mister Ren… what do you say?"
"OF COURSE! How could I refuse someone as useful as Nymeris!" I exclaimed, smiling brightly as I counted the coins like they were holy candy.

Everything in life has a price, right?

Meanwhile… Evelyn was causing trouble.
"Reeeen! You have to try this wine, it’s amazing!" she yelled, waving an overflowing jug like it was a drunk’s maraca.

Just what I needed… drunk Evelyn.

I sighed so hard I scared away a passing butterfly.
While I lamented having such an irresponsible and excessively alcoholic teammate, I thought of someone else.
Nymeris.

I looked around, scanning the party, but she was nowhere in sight.
I slipped away from the noise, crossing the line where village gossip faded into silence… and there she was.
Sitting alone on a stone bench, gazing at the starry sky.

"Hey, Nymeris," I said, approaching her. "Why aren’t you celebrating with the others?"
"Ah! Mister Ren… you startled me…" she said, flustered.

Her face lit by the distant bonfire, her golden eyes shimmering in the darkness…
Yeah, Nymeris looked beautiful.
And me, being the idiot I am, just stared at her with a face that practically screamed I’m catching feelings.

She noticed my gaze. And her elf ears lit up like red traffic lights.

"Nymeris… I have to ask you something," I said, deliberately making it sound ambiguous.

Her cheeks grew even redder. At this rate, she was about to generate her own renewable energy source.

"Do you want to join Evelyn and me?"

She looked surprised. Clearly not what she was expecting.
Maybe because she thought she was useless. (Spoiler: she’s not. Well… not completely.)

But then…

"WHAAAAAT?! You’re marrying her?!" Evelyn yelled, dropping her jug to the ground. "Ren, you traitor! I want a dowry too!"

Evelyn stumbled out from behind a bush with a jug in hand and the expression of a tragic Greek heroine.

"What dowry?! She’s joining the group, not the wife catalog!" I shot back.
"Ahhh… that sounds worse," Evelyn said before tripping over nothing, crashing into a barrel, and getting stuck halfway with her legs in the air.

Silence.
I looked at Nymeris. She was still red. Maybe also from trying not to laugh.

"M-Mister Ren? Are you serious?"

She was quiet for a few seconds. Looked at the sky. Then lowered her gaze to the ground.
Her fingers gripped the hem of her dress like she was using it to gather courage.

"I’ve always wanted to be useful… but I never thought anyone would actually want me by their side," she said, both nervous and excited.
"Of course. So… what do you say?"
"Y-Yes! I’d love to!" she finally answered, joy and nervousness mixing as she clenched her fists.

"Perfect. We leave tomorrow."

Done. Mission accomplished. 1,000 argens from the deal… plus 3,000 from the quest. Not bad. Not bad.

I smiled to myself as the party’s echo filled the background and a shooting star crossed the sky.
And just like that… the group grew.

The party lasted late into the night.
Evelyn drank.
And drank.
And drank…
Until she collapsed like a voluptuous statue smelling of cheap wine.

The next morning, the village square looked like a post-apocalyptic battlefield.
Bodies everywhere.
People sprawled in impossible positions.
And some… naked.
For reasons I never wanted to investigate. Ever.

Evelyn was still asleep on a bench.
With the jug still in her hand.
A true champion.

"Hey, you! Wake up!" I said, giving her a couple of slaps.
Might as well take advantage…

She let out a couple of sleepy groans, completely KO. Yet she still had the strength to say the worst possible thing in that context.
"Yes, Ren… harder…"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT, YOU PERVERT?!"

Awkward silence. Birds flying away. An old lady giving me a weird look.

Behind me, Nymeris was already ready to go.
She carried a small case with her belongings, looking nervous—like it was her first day at school… a school of deadly survival, of course.

Arnold came over with his usual warm lumberjack smile.
"Well, it’s been a pleasure having you here. Come back anytime."
"And you, Nymeris, behave. And don’t cause them too much trouble, okay?" he added in a tone between father and tribal chief.

Nymeris nodded like a good girl who had just been adopted by two lunatics.

After the goodbyes, we set off back to Norwenthia.
And Evelyn?
Good question.

I had to carry her on my back like a sack of potatoes with boobs. There was no waking her up.

And the worst part…
It wasn’t the weight.
It wasn’t the snoring.
It wasn’t her elbow digging into my neck every three steps.
The worst part… was when she vomited on me.

It was my favorite outfit! My only outfit! But my favorite!!

Once we got to Norwenthia, we didn’t waste time.
We headed straight to the guild.

When we opened the doors, the first thing that hit us wasn’t the smell of stale beer and Level 2 adventurer sweat… but silence.

Everyone, who a second ago had been having a rave-worthy party with hyperactive orcs, stopped dead.
And stared.

"Hey," I greeted with a wave, awkward rockstar style.

"Welcome," Lyra and Lina said in unison from behind the counter.

Then came an explosion of shouting.
"REEEENNNN!"
"EVELYYYYYN!"
"NYMERIS!"
"LONG LIVE THE LORD OF THE SCORPIONS!"

What is wrong with these people…?

"Well done in Brisland," Lina said with a professional smile.
"The news has spread throughout the guild," Lyra added with a tone of this isn’t normal, but we’ll allow it.

"That’s the way, Lord of the Scorpions!" shouted an adventurer with crazed fan energy.
"Great job, Mister 3 Units!" said another.
"Where’s my Lady Evelyn?" asked a voice in the back with the tone of a devoted servant.

Hey, hey? WHO was the bastard that brought up the “3 units” thing again?

Lyra approached and handed me a pouch of coins with bureaucratic elegance.
"Here you go," she said politely.
"We hope you put it to good use," Lina added, in the voice of a sister reminding you not to blow it all on energy drinks.

Evelyn cracked open one eye.
Just one.
The minimum effort to continue contributing absolutely nothing to the group.
"I’m hungryyy…" she mumbled before falling back asleep in my arms.

I really should have left her in Brisland.

"By the way," I said, sounding both proud and cautious, "I’d like to add this girl here to our group."

I stepped aside so Nymeris could peek out.
"Uh… h-hi," she stammered, hands clasped in maximum-level shyness.

The whole guild melted in seconds.
"It’ll be our pleasure," Lina said sweetly.
"That’ll be 1,000 argens," Lyra finished with surgical precision.
"You’ll also need another bed, right?" Lina added, smiling in a way that screamed more charges incoming.

I’m not paying for another bed. No way.
"No, one bed is fine," I replied, handing over the 1000 argens with physical and emotional pain.

"Pervert…" Lyra muttered without looking at me.
"I heard that," I replied, also without looking at her.

After being adorably and ruthlessly robbed by the deadliest twins in the continent, I dragged Evelyn to our room like luggage with curves.
I let her drop onto the bed and she bounced like on an enchanted trampoline.

Focus, Ren. F-O-C-U-S.

"D-Do you… sleep together?" Nymeris asked, redder than a baked apple.
"That’s right, Nymeris. We sleep together… nice and close," I said, switching to demon-prank mode. "And you… will join us tonight."

I threw in some strange hand movements that suggested anything but innocence.

Nymeris started steaming from the ears. Literally.
"I’ll go find something to eat. You get settled in," I said, walking out with fake dignity before my self-control completely gave out.

What the hell am I going to do now? I’ve got a sexy demon goddess… and a hot elf who blushes easily…

I headed downstairs toward the counter.
But someone was already there.

A long, elegant blue robe decorated with stars and moons looked terribly familiar.

"Zaroth?" I asked, approaching.

The king’s advisor turned slightly.
"Ah, Ren. Just the one I was looking for," he said in a tone that was serious, almost solemn.
"Me? What for?"

Zaroth adjusted his cape with a dramatic gesture worthy of a magical opera.
"Come see me at the palace tomorrow. I’ll tell you there."

I looked at him suspiciously. I didn’t know if this was good or bad…
What I did know was that it seemed important.

And without another word… he turned and left, leaving behind a trail of mystery and fine fabric.