Chapter 5:
Chapter 5- Guilt and Breakfast
104 Hz
⚠️ Content Warning: This chapter contains references to substance abuse and overdose, which may be distressing to some readers. Please proceed with caution.
**THREE YEARS AGO — BEFORE THE PRESENT**
The sirens had already stopped by the time the crowd thinned out.Flashing red and blue still painted the walls of the narrow alley where Kenji's house sat behind the store. Two police officers stood by the entrance of the shop, murmuring under their breath while paramedics carried a stretcher toward the ambulance.
A white sheet covered Kenji’s stepmother’s lifeless body as it was carried away.
Kenji didn’t say a word.
He stood behind one of the rooms in the convenience store, a broken bottle with pills scattered, staring down at his hands — shaking, pale, dusted with something white. Maybe flour. Maybe not.
There was still a faint echo of screaming in the walls. But the house was quiet now.
“So what happened?” one cop whispered in the other room.
“OD. Probably pills. Heart just stopped,” the other replied, voice low.
“Neighbors said she was using heavy stuff. Long-term.”
“You think her kid had anything to do with it?”
“Maybe. But we’ve got no evidence. Nothing concrete. No bruises, no prints, no confession. He just said that he came back home to see her like this. We tested his blood for anything, but came up empty. The woman’s not exactly a saint either.”
Kenji heard all of it — every word.
He didn’t move. He couldn’t.
The powder on his hands clung stubbornly to the sweat on his skin — like guilt refusing to wash away. His eyes flicked toward the back room where the body had been. Then toward the front, where the cops leaned against the doorframe, watching but not really watching.
And then —
A knock.
**THE PRESENT TIME**
Suddenly, the scene fractured — breaking like glass under a hammer.The morning light outside the store was soft. Almost unreal.
Kenji walked over, pulling open the glass door. Koji stood there with his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched from the sea breeze.
“You’re late,” Kenji muttered, forcing a grin. “I’ve been waiting forever.”Koji scratched his head. “Sorry. I was having breakfast.”
“Seriously? I thought you said we’d meet here,” Kenji said, surprised.
“I did. But Yumi kind of dragged me in. Made me eat something.” Kenji looked off to the side. “Wasn’t gonna say no to free food,”
Kenji’s smirk returned, more genuine this time. “You sly bastard. Already having sleepovers with the weird neighbor girl?”
Koji gave him a flat look and whacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t start fantasizing. She just gave me some rice and miso soup.”
“Right, right,” Kenji said, walking back inside. “Next time she feeds you, bring me some too. Freeloading’s more fun in pairs.”
Koji followed him in, glancing briefly at the worn floor, the humming fridge, the faint smell of instant noodles and cold dust. Something about the air felt off.
Kenji sat down, pouring cereal into a chipped bowl like nothing had happened.
Koji watched him. Something tightened in his throat, but he didn’t know why.
“Go ahead, sit,” Kenji said, mouth half-full. “I’ll finish up quick. Then we can head out.”
They sat at the small table by the window.
Kenji’s joking expression slowly faded into something more serious.His chopsticks hovered mid-air. His gaze dropped to the bowl, then lifted — hesitant, searching — to Koji, who was staring out the window in silence.
“…Did I make a mistake?” Kenji asked, barely above a whisper.Koji blinked, turning to him. “For what?”
Kenji didn’t look away this time. “You know what I’m talking about.”
A beat.
“You think I’m guilty… for what I did to her — my stepmother?”Suddenly, the room felt smaller.
The hum of the fridge, the ticking of a wall clock, the distant gulls outside — all faded.
Koji exhaled slowly, as he glance away.“…You are guilty for what you done,” he said.
Kenji’s eyes dropped to the table, to the spoon in his hand. His shoulders slumped under a weight only he could feel he said" You could've turned me in to the police. But why didn't you?"
“Because I also know how much you suffered,” Koji continued. “I remember. She would’ve never stopped. Not with you. Not with your dad.
If she was still here, your life wouldn’t be yours.”
He leaned back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling.“I’m not saying what you did was right. But it wasn’t for nothing either. You stopped it. You ended the suffering. For your dad. For yourself.”
Kenji stayed quiet, fists clenched in his lap.“We’re both guilty,” Koji added. “Not one of us is innocent. But we did what we did. And nothing’s going to change that. It’s already part of the past.”Kenji looked at him, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. The guilt didn’t vanish, but it softened.
“…Didn’t take you for a poet,” he muttered, nudging Koji’s arm. “I always thought you were just dumb.”
Koji snorted. “So are you.”
Kenji finally cracked a grin, leaning back in his chair. “Anyway… I called you over for a reason.”
“I figured out that much,” Koji said with a bit of tiredness in his voice.
“My dad’s getting out in three weeks,” Kenji said, scratching his neck.
“Figured we should pick up a few contracts. You wanna tag along?”Koji blinked, then smiled faintly. “Yeah. Haven’t seen him in a while.”
“Cool.”
Kenji leaned back, arms crossed behind his head.
For a moment, the room was still again.
But the silence didn’t feel so heavy anymore.
The narrow trail twisted through the mountain, swallowed by trees and mist. Koji stepped over a mossy rock, panting slightly from the climb.
“Where are you even taking me?” he asked, brushing a branch aside. “We came this deep just to bury a body or something?”
Kenji smirked. “One of the stores I contract for — it’s out near the next town. Hidden in the hills.”
The woods grew quieter as they moved deeper. Only the sound of cicadas and their footsteps filled the silence.
Then Kenji slowed down.“Hey… you remember this place?”
Koji stopped. Looked around.“…Yeah. We fought here that day.”
**FLASHBACK – YEARS AGO**
The trees were taller back then. Or maybe they just felt that way.Young Hana stood beneath the trees, scraped up and bruised on her knees, her flushed face shadowed by dark circles under her eyes. She flinched when Koji stepped into view.
“What happened to you?” he asked, eyes narrowing.
Hana paused, then smiled quickly. Too quickly.“Fell off the bike. Nothing serious.” She lied, hiding the truth.
Koji crouched beside her, brushing leaves from her shoulder. “Be more careful next time. Chain’s not fully fixed.”
She looked like she wanted to say something. Her lips parted, then closed.
Instead, she changed the subject.“Why… why did you call me here?”
Koji hesitated. His hand tightened over the handlebars of his old bike.“…To fix something. A mistake I made.”
A moment later, footsteps approached from the trail.
Kenji.
He walked into the clearing, frowning at the two of them.“Why the hell did you call me here?” His eyes landed on Hana, and his expression darkened. “Thought you stopped hanging out with her. After what she did.”
Hana shrank a little at his voice, guilt flashing across her face.
Kenji scoffed. “I thought we weren’t friends anymore.”
Koji looked at Hana, then back at Kenji. His voice was calmer than either of them expected.“There’s a fireworks festival in three days. I want you to come with us.”Kenji blinked.
“…Did you not hear what I just said?” he snapped, his voice rising. “We’re not friends. Has she already messed with your head that bad?”
Koji didn’t reply. He simply walked over and grabbed the back of Kenji’s shirt, stopping him as he turned to leave.
Kenji growled. “Let go.”
“No,” Koji said. “No more fake smiles. No more pretending.”
He met his eyes.
“I want something real. Three days from now, there’s a festival. Be there.”Kenji shoved him off. Hana stepped forward, concerned, but Koji held out a hand — don’t.
“I’m asking you once more,” Koji said, standing tall again. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
Kenji’s voice cracked, anger and something else — hurt — bleeding through.
“You spent two days with her and suddenly you're a hero?” He stepped forward. “You wanna play peacekeeper now? After everything?”
He shoved Koji again.
Koji shoved back.
The punches weren’t meant to hurt. Not really. They were angry, clumsy, fueled by confusion more than hate. Two boys crashing into each other because no one ever taught them how to talk.
Eventually, Kenji got the upper hand, pinning Koji to the dirt. His fist drew back.
“Stop!” Hana shouted, grabbing his wrist.
Everything froze.
Their breathing was ragged. Blood on lips. Dirt on clothes. But no more punches.
Kenji slowly sat back. The fire in his eyes faded, leaving only exhaustion.“…Why?” he asked, barely audible. “Why do you still want to be with me? I used you. I beat you. Lied about being your friend. So why?”
Koji sat up slowly. Spat out dirt.“Because I told you,” he said, voice hoarse. “I don’t want lies anymore. I know both of you used me. I’m not dumb. But I want to move past that.”He looked at Kenji, then at Hana.
“I want something that’s real. I want to be friends. Not fake. Not halfway. Real.”
He stood fully, wiping his face.“So just show up. Fireworks. Three days. That’s all I ask.”
Kenji stood, brushing dirt off his pants.“Fine. But don’t get the wrong idea. I’m only going to make up for what I did after that we go our separate ways.”
Koji smiled. “That’s good enough for me.”
As Kenji walked off, Hana came beside Koji and helped him up.The sunset bathed the mountain in gold as they started walking down.“Why did you do that?” she asked.
Koji looked at the path ahead. “You were right. You were not the one lying to me — I was lying to myself. I didn’t want to face it. But now… I want to be brave just like you.”
She looked down. “I’m not brave.”
“You’re the bravest person I ever saw besides my mother.”She stopped, biting her lip. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d hate me, too. I thought you were like the others.”
Koji smiled faintly. “Maybe I was. But not anymore.”
“I used you.” Hana said, shame twisting her expression .
“I know. But that’s in the past. We can’t be stuck in it or be petty about it. Just… show me who you really are next time.”
They reached her home. Hana's face started panicking — she knew what would happen if her uncle saw him.
Hana tried to lie and say she could walk home by herself but Koji insisted on tagging along. As they reached her home—
Koji blinked at the large gate. “This your place? It’s huge.”
“Only the house is big,” Hana said quietly. “There’s nothing inside.”
She sighed in relief as the shadows stretched across the empty driveway. Her uncle wasn’t there yet.
“Thanks for today,” she said, and shut the door.
**PRESENT**
Koji and Kenji walked down the road. Koji stretched.“That was a long walk.”
“Yeah. Head back home. Get some rest,” Kenji said. “I’ve got more errands anyway.”
Koji waved and walked off.
The air felt strange.
His feet wandered — almost without thought — down a familiar street. His pace slowed.
Hana’s house.
Still standing. Still unchanged.
His heart sank.
The door creaked open.
An older woman stepped out. Hana’s aunt.
At first, she didn’t recognize him.
But then her eyes widened.“You…”
She stormed toward him, voice shaking with rage.
“You took everything from me. You took her from me! Now what — my life too? You should have died that day, not her!”
She slapped him hard across the face.“Get out. GET OUT. LEAVE THIS PLACE, YOU MONSTER!”
Koji stood frozen, shame crawling up his spine.
“I SAID GO!”
He turned and walked away, her voice echoing behind him.
The past was never buried.
It just waited for you to return.
**THREE YEARS AGO — BEFORE THE PRESENT**
The sirens had already stopped by the time the crowd thinned out.Flashing red and blue still painted the walls of the narrow alley where Kenji's house sat behind the store. Two police officers stood by the entrance of the shop, murmuring under their breath while paramedics carried a stretcher toward the ambulance.
A white sheet covered Kenji’s stepmother’s lifeless body as it was carried away.
Kenji didn’t say a word.
He stood behind one of the rooms in the convenience store, a broken bottle with pills scattered, staring down at his hands — shaking, pale, dusted with something white. Maybe flour. Maybe not.
There was still a faint echo of screaming in the walls. But the house was quiet now.
“So what happened?” one cop whispered in the other room.
“OD. Probably pills. Heart just stopped,” the other replied, voice low.
“Neighbors said she was using heavy stuff. Long-term.”
“You think her kid had anything to do with it?”
“Maybe. But we’ve got no evidence. Nothing concrete. No bruises, no prints, no confession. He just said that he came back home to see her like this. We tested his blood for anything, but came up empty. The woman’s not exactly a saint either.”
Kenji heard all of it — every word.
He didn’t move. He couldn’t.
The powder on his hands clung stubbornly to the sweat on his skin — like guilt refusing to wash away. His eyes flicked toward the back room where the body had been. Then toward the front, where the cops leaned against the doorframe, watching but not really watching.
And then —
A knock.
**THE PRESENT TIME**
Suddenly, the scene fractured — breaking like glass under a hammer.The morning light outside the store was soft. Almost unreal.
Kenji walked over, pulling open the glass door. Koji stood there with his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched from the sea breeze.
“You’re late,” Kenji muttered, forcing a grin. “I’ve been waiting forever.”Koji scratched his head. “Sorry. I was having breakfast.”
“Seriously? I thought you said we’d meet here,” Kenji said, surprised.
“I did. But Yumi kind of dragged me in. Made me eat something.” Kenji looked off to the side. “Wasn’t gonna say no to free food,”
Kenji’s smirk returned, more genuine this time. “You sly bastard. Already having sleepovers with the weird neighbor girl?”
Koji gave him a flat look and whacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t start fantasizing. She just gave me some rice and miso soup.”
“Right, right,” Kenji said, walking back inside. “Next time she feeds you, bring me some too. Freeloading’s more fun in pairs.”
Koji followed him in, glancing briefly at the worn floor, the humming fridge, the faint smell of instant noodles and cold dust. Something about the air felt off.
Kenji sat down, pouring cereal into a chipped bowl like nothing had happened.
Koji watched him. Something tightened in his throat, but he didn’t know why.
“Go ahead, sit,” Kenji said, mouth half-full. “I’ll finish up quick. Then we can head out.”
They sat at the small table by the window.
Kenji’s joking expression slowly faded into something more serious.His chopsticks hovered mid-air. His gaze dropped to the bowl, then lifted — hesitant, searching — to Koji, who was staring out the window in silence.
“…Did I make a mistake?” Kenji asked, barely above a whisper.Koji blinked, turning to him. “For what?”
Kenji didn’t look away this time. “You know what I’m talking about.”
A beat.
“You think I’m guilty… for what I did to her — my stepmother?”Suddenly, the room felt smaller.
The hum of the fridge, the ticking of a wall clock, the distant gulls outside — all faded.
Koji exhaled slowly, as he glance away.“…You are guilty for what you done,” he said.
Kenji’s eyes dropped to the table, to the spoon in his hand. His shoulders slumped under a weight only he could feel he said" You could've turned me in to the police. But why didn't you?"
“Because I also know how much you suffered,” Koji continued. “I remember. She would’ve never stopped. Not with you. Not with your dad.
If she was still here, your life wouldn’t be yours.”
He leaned back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling.“I’m not saying what you did was right. But it wasn’t for nothing either. You stopped it. You ended the suffering. For your dad. For yourself.”
Kenji stayed quiet, fists clenched in his lap.“We’re both guilty,” Koji added. “Not one of us is innocent. But we did what we did. And nothing’s going to change that. It’s already part of the past.”Kenji looked at him, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. The guilt didn’t vanish, but it softened.
“…Didn’t take you for a poet,” he muttered, nudging Koji’s arm. “I always thought you were just dumb.”
Koji snorted. “So are you.”
Kenji finally cracked a grin, leaning back in his chair. “Anyway… I called you over for a reason.”
“I figured out that much,” Koji said with a bit of tiredness in his voice.
“My dad’s getting out in three weeks,” Kenji said, scratching his neck.
“Figured we should pick up a few contracts. You wanna tag along?”Koji blinked, then smiled faintly. “Yeah. Haven’t seen him in a while.”
“Cool.”
Kenji leaned back, arms crossed behind his head.
For a moment, the room was still again.
But the silence didn’t feel so heavy anymore.
The narrow trail twisted through the mountain, swallowed by trees and mist. Koji stepped over a mossy rock, panting slightly from the climb.
“Where are you even taking me?” he asked, brushing a branch aside. “We came this deep just to bury a body or something?”
Kenji smirked. “One of the stores I contract for — it’s out near the next town. Hidden in the hills.”
The woods grew quieter as they moved deeper. Only the sound of cicadas and their footsteps filled the silence.
Then Kenji slowed down.“Hey… you remember this place?”
Koji stopped. Looked around.“…Yeah. We fought here that day.”
**FLASHBACK – YEARS AGO**
The trees were taller back then. Or maybe they just felt that way.Young Hana stood beneath the trees, scraped up and bruised on her knees, her flushed face shadowed by dark circles under her eyes. She flinched when Koji stepped into view.
“What happened to you?” he asked, eyes narrowing.
Hana paused, then smiled quickly. Too quickly.“Fell off the bike. Nothing serious.” She lied, hiding the truth.
Koji crouched beside her, brushing leaves from her shoulder. “Be more careful next time. Chain’s not fully fixed.”
She looked like she wanted to say something. Her lips parted, then closed.
Instead, she changed the subject.“Why… why did you call me here?”
Koji hesitated. His hand tightened over the handlebars of his old bike.“…To fix something. A mistake I made.”
A moment later, footsteps approached from the trail.
Kenji.
He walked into the clearing, frowning at the two of them.“Why the hell did you call me here?” His eyes landed on Hana, and his expression darkened. “Thought you stopped hanging out with her. After what she did.”
Hana shrank a little at his voice, guilt flashing across her face.
Kenji scoffed. “I thought we weren’t friends anymore.”
Koji looked at Hana, then back at Kenji. His voice was calmer than either of them expected.“There’s a fireworks festival in three days. I want you to come with us.”Kenji blinked.
“…Did you not hear what I just said?” he snapped, his voice rising. “We’re not friends. Has she already messed with your head that bad?”
Koji didn’t reply. He simply walked over and grabbed the back of Kenji’s shirt, stopping him as he turned to leave.
Kenji growled. “Let go.”
“No,” Koji said. “No more fake smiles. No more pretending.”
He met his eyes.
“I want something real. Three days from now, there’s a festival. Be there.”Kenji shoved him off. Hana stepped forward, concerned, but Koji held out a hand — don’t.
“I’m asking you once more,” Koji said, standing tall again. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
Kenji’s voice cracked, anger and something else — hurt — bleeding through.
“You spent two days with her and suddenly you're a hero?” He stepped forward. “You wanna play peacekeeper now? After everything?”
He shoved Koji again.
Koji shoved back.
The punches weren’t meant to hurt. Not really. They were angry, clumsy, fueled by confusion more than hate. Two boys crashing into each other because no one ever taught them how to talk.
Eventually, Kenji got the upper hand, pinning Koji to the dirt. His fist drew back.
“Stop!” Hana shouted, grabbing his wrist.
Everything froze.
Their breathing was ragged. Blood on lips. Dirt on clothes. But no more punches.
Kenji slowly sat back. The fire in his eyes faded, leaving only exhaustion.“…Why?” he asked, barely audible. “Why do you still want to be with me? I used you. I beat you. Lied about being your friend. So why?”
Koji sat up slowly. Spat out dirt.“Because I told you,” he said, voice hoarse. “I don’t want lies anymore. I know both of you used me. I’m not dumb. But I want to move past that.”He looked at Kenji, then at Hana.
“I want something that’s real. I want to be friends. Not fake. Not halfway. Real.”
He stood fully, wiping his face.“So just show up. Fireworks. Three days. That’s all I ask.”
Kenji stood, brushing dirt off his pants.“Fine. But don’t get the wrong idea. I’m only going to make up for what I did after that we go our separate ways.”
Koji smiled. “That’s good enough for me.”
As Kenji walked off, Hana came beside Koji and helped him up.The sunset bathed the mountain in gold as they started walking down.“Why did you do that?” she asked.
Koji looked at the path ahead. “You were right. You were not the one lying to me — I was lying to myself. I didn’t want to face it. But now… I want to be brave just like you.”
She looked down. “I’m not brave.”
“You’re the bravest person I ever saw besides my mother.”She stopped, biting her lip. “I’m sorry. I thought you’d hate me, too. I thought you were like the others.”
Koji smiled faintly. “Maybe I was. But not anymore.”
“I used you.” Hana said, shame twisting her expression .
“I know. But that’s in the past. We can’t be stuck in it or be petty about it. Just… show me who you really are next time.”
They reached her home. Hana's face started panicking — she knew what would happen if her uncle saw him.
Hana tried to lie and say she could walk home by herself but Koji insisted on tagging along. As they reached her home—
Koji blinked at the large gate. “This your place? It’s huge.”
“Only the house is big,” Hana said quietly. “There’s nothing inside.”
She sighed in relief as the shadows stretched across the empty driveway. Her uncle wasn’t there yet.
“Thanks for today,” she said, and shut the door.
**PRESENT**
Koji and Kenji walked down the road. Koji stretched.“That was a long walk.”
“Yeah. Head back home. Get some rest,” Kenji said. “I’ve got more errands anyway.”
Koji waved and walked off.
The air felt strange.
His feet wandered — almost without thought — down a familiar street. His pace slowed.
Hana’s house.
Still standing. Still unchanged.
His heart sank.
The door creaked open.
An older woman stepped out. Hana’s aunt.
At first, she didn’t recognize him.
But then her eyes widened.“You…”
She stormed toward him, voice shaking with rage.
“You took everything from me. You took her from me! Now what — my life too? You should have died that day, not her!”
She slapped him hard across the face.“Get out. GET OUT. LEAVE THIS PLACE, YOU MONSTER!”
Koji stood frozen, shame crawling up his spine.
“I SAID GO!”
He turned and walked away, her voice echoing behind him.
The past was never buried.
It just waited for you to return.
AUTHORS NOTE.
I need to clarify something for readers who might be confused. In this chapter, Kenji intentionally overdosed his abusive stepmother while she was half drunk. Because she was already known in the neighborhood for substance abuse, the police ruled it as an accident. Kenji wasn’t arrested since nothing showed up in his system.
The only two people who truly knew about this crime were Kenji and his stepmother. She’s no longer alive to speak of it, and Koji, despite knowing the truth, won’t hand his best friend over to the cops — even though it was a crime.
If you want hints about why Kenji did it, I’ve already dropped some information back in Chapter 3 during the penitentiary scene. Either way, it will all become clearer as the story progresses.
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