The Diamond Fool (2)

What’s the secret to a successful heist?

The question lingered in my mind as I steered the yacht against the crashing waves of the ocean. It was a question that people in my line of work had been nagging me about for years, believing that learning my secrets would somehow let them imitate my success. I didn’t say a word of course—the crown fit too nicely, and though I had stolen almost everything that was worth stealing, I still had so much more to offer to the world. Or rather, the world still had so much to offer to me.

Everyone who meets me is always full of questions:

What’s next for the great Ace? Are you single? Can I be your protege? Is there really a secret sauce to all that you do?

Hold on, hold on, that’s a lot to answer. Why don’t we take it one step at a time, love?

Let’s start with “What’s next?”

Well, truthfully, I don’t know! Maybe I’ll take a small vacation to the Bahamas! After all, I do have to lay low after that whole diamond debacle.

Am I single?

Great question! Let’s say I’m married to the job for now… but if you’re the kind of person that can pull off an open back dress, well, I might be open to some PTO.

Can I be your protege?

Please refer to the previous answer.

Is there really a secret sauce?

Well, normally someone tells you that there is no shortcut or secret to life—It’s all about hard work, luck, and talent… Bullshit! There’s always a secret sauce, and if someone tells you otherwise, they’re lying to you. My secret sauce is simple, I call it:

“The Lowlife’s Commandments to Acing The Job!”

by Keisuke Takamura (Trademark pending).

A collection of rules I designed to pull off any heist: Jewelry! Artifacts! Nuclear launch codes! They could all be yours if you master these simple commandments. Oh? You don't believe me? Well, let’s start off with a simple example.

Commandment No.12 - Patience :

All good things come to those who wait,

for those who do not,

failure awaits

Catchy right? You see, the basis of any heist is the ability to have patience - The ability to wait for the right moment, for the right amount of time, for the right person. Let’s say you want to rob The Diamond Fool—a man with no patience would simply walk right up to it, grab it, and run. Terrible strategy by all means; Security would be on you like a hawk, your escape would easily be cut off, and you’d spend the rest of your life in prison…

But if you’re a man with patience, then time is yet another member of your crew. A man with patience spends months of training with Interpol, absorbing the skills and etiquette you’d need to act like an agent. A man with patience would take the time and effort to establish a new persona, build new relationships, and earn the trust of your coworkers. A man with patience would take advantage of that trust and spread rumors about a potential “heist”, getting you front row seats to the diamond in question. A man with patience would walk out of that heist like he was never there.

I’m sure you get the point, so let’s move on to another commandment.

Commandment No.10 - Awareness:

If you do not keep aware of your surroundings,

then your bags of bones,

the police will be finding

I have a talent, I know. But let’s not get off track! This commandment simply means that you have to be vigilant of your surroundings at all times, keeping an eye out for any danger that approaches you.

Let’s take my current situation for example: I’m currently on my private yacht, heading west of Europe on a grand escape. I turn to the left, and I see nothing but empty ocean waters reflecting the bright blue sky… Perfect. I turn to the right, and I see the patches of green decorating a small island far off in the distance… Stellar. I turn my head around and see a Dassault Rafale M fighter jet, thundering towards me as it paints the sky with its twin engines… Beatifu-

-wait. A Dassault Rafale fighter jet?

The Mirage screamed past the yacht, cutting the air above me as it sent shockwaves to the waters below. Latching onto the helm, I desperately fought for my footing from the vessel that was slamming me across like a rodeo bull. The fighter jet circled back around, welcoming three - no, five - other jets to its formation.

My heart sank to the ocean floor.

“Those can’t be for me, right? There’s no way…”

I scrambled to the cockpit, dumping out every closet, drawer, and chest I could get my hands on.

“Come on Keisuke, think! Where‘d you put the damn things… found them!”

Grabbing a pair of binoculars, I rushed back to the deck and peered down the general vicinity of the Rafales.

Oh no.

Approaching me at terminal velocity was a fleet of French warships - ready to lay waste to whatever stood in its path. I zoomed in on the leading ship…

Oh shit.

Soldiers, armed to the teeth, were assembled in a precise military formation on the vessel’s bow. I zoomed in again…

Oh fuck.

A turn to the side, a single step back, a hand raised to form a magnificent salute; In one synchronized motion, all the soldiers welcomed their superior: Agent Annie Hallaway.

“He’s within our grasp! Get ready to fire the canons!”

Agent Meade stood right beside Annie, gnawing away at his fingers as he witnessed his superior officer abandon all reason.

“Agent Meade, you’re with me! Lower the launch, we’re going after him ourselves.”

“Y-yes, Ma’am!”

I sprinted back to the cockpit and slammed the throttles, launching the yacht forward.

“How the hell did they find me? And why is the damn military here? None of this makes sense unless… No, she couldn’t have… The Delta Protocol?!”

My mind drifted back to my time at Interpol. Most of their procedures and codes were of no interest to me, but I do recall the Delta Protocol uniquely standing out. In matters where national security was involved, a superior-ranking Interpol officer could temporarily take command of military resources, but there’s no way Annie could have invoked that, right? That stuff’s reserved for terrorists or military targets! She’d be crazy to -

BANG!

A blast tore through the side of the yacht, hurling me to starboard and knocking me out. Moments passed, and as I faded in and out of consciousness, I began to feel nauseous. A fierce rocking motion rolled through my body, followed by laps of water splashing across my face. My eyelids felt heavy, like someone had sewn them shut, but I pushed through the fatigue and finally came to. Though my vision blurred, I could vaguely make out two figures standing in front of me. It seems like they finally caught me…

Agent Meade, at the helm of the boat, was breathing sighs of relief while Annie was kneeling right over me, waiting for me to wake up.

“So, this is The Ace? This is the guy who’s been ruining my life for the past 5 years? Some snot-nosed kid?”

“Snot-nosed kid? Lady, we're the same age!”

“Hmph. Whatever, the only thing that matters is that I finally caught you.”

I shook my hands in anger and felt the bounds of tight metal clasping onto my skin. Ugh, handcuffs. These guys really are amateurs.

“Speaking of which, how did you guys find me?”

Annie smiled, reveling in the fact that she finally managed to pull one over me.

“Oh, it was easy - We knew the exact day you started working at Interpol, and figured there had to be some way you came into the country. So we looked into every plane, boat, train, and car that entered our borders that week. Of course, there was always a chance you’d use some unconventional route to get away, so just as a small precaution, I had my team comb through thousands of hours of security footage from wherever we could for that entire week, placing markers on anyone of a similar build and height to you. We marked about 7000 people who entered the country that week and fit your physical description. Thanks to the additional personnel from the Delta Protocol, we were able to place eyes on every suspect along with the vehicles that they came in. I personally staked out a few of those vehicles for weeks! Eventually one of our Agents who was monitoring you, suspect number 1043, getting into potential escape vehicle 345-Y. ”

Easy? Lady, nothing of what you said sounded easy! Are you insane?!

While Annie continued her yap session, I slid a paper clip from out of my collar and began to finick around with the handcuffs.

“All this for a measly diamond? Were the fighter jets really necessary?”

Annie pulled the diamond out of her back left pocket. I guess she managed to figure out where I was hiding it on the yacht, but something was off about it - A bright golden light flashed from the card, like some sort of beacon that was trying to send out a warning.

“This? This was just an excuse. The fighter jets were for you, you see—Ah!”

Annie dropped the card like she’d grabbed a live coal, shaking her hand in pain. Taking advantage of the situation, I released myself from the cuffs and tackled her to the ground. I struggled for control, reaching for the gun attached to her hip and firing off a stray shot in the process. Sparks flew off the helm of the boat as the bullet passed right through it, sending Agent Meade into a panic.

“Ma’am! I’ve lost control of the boat!”

The boat swerved left, putting us onto a collision course with a pile of stray rocks.

“Why…won’t you… just.. give up!”

Mustering every ounce of strength within her, Annie overpowered me and flipped me over. Even though both of us were aware of the fact that we were hurtling towards our impending deaths, neither of us wanted to give in.

“Ma’am?!”

Agent Meade’s sounds of panic grew as we neared the rocks. In the midst of our struggle, Annie and I both took a pause as we noticed the diamond flash with an ever-increasing intensity. The very next moment, the floor beneath us became encircled in a bright light that distorted the space around it.

We all closed our eyes, accepting our fates as the boat struck the rocks with an explosive force. A large flame emerged from the impact, and in its wake, what remained was a scatter of debris and a cloud of smoke.