Chapter 26:
Laurels Journey
My name is Laurel Chastain this is my journey.
There are only three things anyone really needs to know about me.
I am a cursed child.
I come from a low standing noble family.
I don’t like people. For the most part, people don’t like me.
There was a time when it made sense to believe that there was hope I could change. That someday someone will save me. But change doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it happen on its own, you have to want it, you have to want to be better.
I lacked the will to change myself, because of that, I had decided to accept the pathetic version of me that I was.
Thankfully, I managed to realize this at a very young age, which saved me from the trouble of getting hurt.
As long as I can keep reading my books, the pain and regret will fade away eventually, and I can maybe go on living. That was the life I had resigned myself to.
Life was hard I could never leave my room. So, I spent all my time reading.
Unfortunately, when I turned fourteen, my parents found out I had an aptitude for magic, and I was sent to the academy. I did my best to avoid standing out. But I was an A grade witch, meaning I was supposed to be one of the elites.
I usually hid from my classmates in the library, this strategy worked well for two years, that was when I met her.
“Cookies are tasty!”
“Huh?”
She was an odd and spontaneous girl.
The cold, icky feeling I got from most people wasn’t around her. She had somehow managed to completely breakdown my territory. A type of magic that’s deeply connected to the soul and goddess.
It was as if she understood my very essence on a fundamental level.
Her name was Blake Everlyne. That day she told me she was looking for a senior to be her mentor.
At the time, I felt cornered and pressured into accepting her as my disciple. I thought if I accepted she’d leave me alone.
She did not.
She came to see me day in and day out.
Some days she would talk on and on. Other times we’d just sit in silence, it was a comfortable silence.
And over time I had grown rather fond of her.
Returning to the library every day expressly to meet up with my junior felt kind of pathetic… But if she’s coming here all the time, she must be a loner too. That thought process made me feel a little better.
Turns out I was wrong.
She has other friends.
“Hey sugo Laurel! Introduce yourself!” Blake beamed.
All I could do was stumble out a response, “O-oh, uh, I’m Laurel…”
The pink-haired girl smiled at me. “I am Fleta Walmslye, Duchess of Trylyl.”
The other pink haired girl offered a similar greeting. I think her name was Rose.
I froze.
I’m the weird one.
I know that and yet.
I know that and yet.
I know that and yet….
I am so lonely.
I wanted her to think about me and only me.
I can’t remember the rest of how my time with Everlyne’s friends went. I probably made them all feel uncomfortable.
I enjoy reading and writing books even though I HAVE NO TALENT FOR IT.
“Can I read your book?” Everlyne asked.
“Sure.”
She took the time to read the little stories I wrote.
Everlyne was my star in the night sky…
“This amazing!”
I know she’s lying, but hearing someone say that made me happy.
One day Everlyne asked me to do something impossible.
“All the stories I write are bad I can’t do it.”
“But I really do like reading your stories.”
“No, I won’t publish them!”
She asked me to publish my stupid poorly written stories?
I was fine with letting Everlyne see all the useless stories I wrote up. Even if she only ever told me they were good because she was being nice. I could live with that. But letting other people see was out of the question.
Everlyne tilted her head to the side in deep thought.
Finally, she nodded to herself.
“Okay then. They’re awful. All your stories are unbelievably boring, I only ever said they were good because I’m your friend,” she said casually.
My heart broke.
Even if she lacked emotional maturity, saying it so bluntly was a bit cruel.
“I guess you’re right deep down I know I’m mediocre at best…but you don’t need to say it like that.”
She then plopped herself down onto the flowery expanse. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way. Answer me this: why do you write?”
Why do I write?
“Because I—”
“I need an answer right now, Sugo Laurel!”
I’d never heard Everlyne raise her voice like that.
“—It’s because I love it!”
I love to write, “Not because I’m seeking acknowledgement or anything like that, though it feels nice when I’m praised, I write because I enjoy it…”
“If you enjoy it, if it makes you happy, don’t you think it’s selfish to keep that joy all to yourself?”
She scooped up the flowers made from the very essence of my soul and scattered them above us.
“If there’s even a chance one of your stories could make even one person halfway across the flat Earth happy too, shouldn’t you share it with them?”
I almost laughed. “My work could never make that kind of difference in the world…”
I’ve only ever written for myself. What would even be the point in believing a story I write could change the world?
“You don’t need to make a difference in the world just one person is enough.”
One person. One person… Just one person, huh?
“As if I could even accomplish something as simple as that… You said it yourself; my writing’s dull just like my personality. There’s no one—”
“You’re wrong about that!” She cut me off with a smug look on her face. “I can think of at least one person who infinitely loves your work! WHO LOVES THE ART THAT YOU CREATE WITH ALL THEIR HEART! This person is always looking forward to your next chapter. This person treasures every tiny detail of your story. This person doesn’t care if your story is full of holes. The person that loves your work more than anyone else, that person is yourself.
“Even if that’s true. I’m scared.” A crippling fear of what others think paralyzes me.
I know myself better than anyone else I’ve never really had any sort of creativity or gift. If anything, I was born cursed. Because of that, I can’t even make friends or leave the house.
“Okay why don’t we continue this discussion in person?”
“You don’t need to meet the real me!” I snapped.
“Hm? Why not?”
“T-The real me is…” I looked to the side, avoiding eye contact.
My light green hair swept across my face.
Everlyne gave me a playful pat on the head.
The me in front of her was simply a puppet. The real me had never left her room, could never leave.
“I like your dolls Sugo Laurel, but I’d love to meet the real you too someday. Is there a reason I can’t?”
So, she knows the “Me” in front of her right now isn’t the real me. The real me never left her room. The real me can never leave.
“To be honest. I hope you never meet the real me. The real me is a lot gloomier than the way I’ve been acting now, I’m bedridden and can’t leave the house, you might not find me that fun.”
Everlyne lacked the emotional maturity to fully grasp my pain.
“Is it because of your curse?”
Everlyne had deep knowledge on magic, blessings and curses. She had figured that out on her own as well?
“Maybe I was born into this world to suffer. To never know joy, to bring misery to my family, my whole life has been one big mistake.”
“But I’m happy with you being the only person who reads my stories.”
Why am I telling this to my junior, of all people?
Everlyne tilted her head to the side in confusion.
For one, I enjoyed her company.
“So, if I got rid of your curse, you’d be happy?”
“Huh…? What are you talking about? You can’t just get rid of a curse from the goddess! Blessings and curses are… it’s attached to your soul! Your very being! I’ve searched it’s not possible…”
“If you give me some time, I could probably figure it out. But there’s a catch.” Everlyne said confidently.
“A catch?”
“If you want me to help, get rid of your curse. You have to publish one of your books and let me come see the real you.”
That’s such a stupid request.
I felt true happiness for the first time in years. I didn’t believe Everlyne could cure my curse, it was impossible after all.
I didn’t believe there was a way to save me, but nonetheless I felt happy “…O-okay.”
This was the start of Laurel’s journey.
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