Defending My Choices

"I arrived as requested."

The ocean breeze runs through a replacement mantle I obtained just before my arrival. Standing alone at the end of the balcony is Prudence with his arms crossed to the sea.

"You certainly have. I did not take you for a liar."

He turns and delivers a glare ready to kill. The wooden door closes behind me, leaving just the two of us here in the evening.

"However, I underestimated your foolishness!"

"I'm not aware of what you mean."

The shuffling of robes brings the king's advisor straight in front of my face. Dark hair waves violently both from the wind and from his rage.

"You bring a beast into this castle after murdering an entire tribe! Do you not realise the danger you have placed us in!?"

"She is not a fighter. I bring her as a means of keeping our people safe."

"There is your foolishness!"

He scrunches his face and balls his hands into fists, but I continue meeting his aggression head on. This indifference only serves to make this interaction less friendly.

"When a beast dies, its soul travels to one of its surviving allies."

Prudence is no longer yelling, his pride as a scholar likely coming to the front. This does not stop him from grinding his teeth.

"This unique transfer provides the recipient with greater strength. To have only one survivor is to have a beast capable of killing hundreds of knights alone!"

"Interesting…"

Peo was already a formidable threat on her own. There very well may be a possibility that she could now take on this entire castle. While an intriguing thought, I should probably limit the amount of killing I do amongst my beneficiaries.

"I kept quiet in front of His Majesty to save your dignity, but you must kill the beast this instant!"

"I'm afraid that I cannot do that."

"Huh!?"

He grabs my mantle and pulls my face towards his.

"See reason, Blessed Knight! You'll kill us all by harbouring this evil among us! Do your duty—"

Prudence falls silent with his eyes bulging from their sockets. Blood begins trailing out of his mouth.

"Y-You…"

"I'm being more than reasonable. Hence why you must die."

He looks down at the small blade protruding from his stomach. Blood seeps out from the wound and stains his robes red.

"Y-You defend…a beast...over your own people…!"

My face is void of emotion as I slowly drag Prudence towards the edge of the balcony. He tugs at the arm wrapped around his neck and kicks against the ground, but he lacks the strength to break my lock.

"I defend the girl? Somewhat, but not quite."

I stare out into open ocean as I proceed one treasonous step at a time.

"A decision was made, one that saw her life continuing while the others did not. In a way, it was a mistake."

The kicking becomes weaker and weaker while the taste of salt grows stronger.

"'Would you change the past if you could?' A mysterious scholar asked me this question once before."

I feel each and every knock against the stone floor, the sound echoing through my head. I still ignore the combination of scorn and fear from the man in my arms.

 "I gave him an answer I believed adamantly at the time, and that sentiment has not changed even once."

It was my bone and muscle that aimed. It was my finger that pulled the trigger. Changing this event, even if possible, would be an insult to myself. We fool ourselves into believing that all of these random lives mean anything to us for longer than a single instant, but I refuse to fall for that fantasy. Trying to undo their deaths would be no different than begging for forgiveness to people that you respect out of pity alone.

I pull Prudence over my shoulder and step atop the railing. Moisture from the sea washes through my hair as the world opens up in front of me. 

"I'm not defending her."

Saying it was for her would be nothing but an excuse. I cannot take back what I did, so I can only operate under the assumption that my decision will lead to the desired conclusion. Do not attempt to recall your last move. Simply continue the game knowing that this was the move you made. As long as you win, your move cannot be considered a failure.

"I'm defending myself."

I throw the king's most trusted advisor into the crashing waves below. There is no scream, no trail of blood. It was as if the man was never here.

"If she happens to survive as well, then good for her."

With my mantle blowing in the wind, I turn my back to the vast blue.

* * * * *

The door creaks as I leave the ocean breeze behind me. From the corner of my eye, I notice Peo standing against the wall with her hands resting in front of her.

"Did you hear all of that?"

A silent nod. Her gaze shifts from the floor to the lack of repentance on my face.

"Is this…okay?"

"Which part?"

Those green eyes are drawn to the door, or more specifically the merciless ocean just past it.

"I can…stay here?"

"The citizens here may not appreciate it, but that is the goal. We have food and shelter sorted as long as I stay on good terms with the king."

Once again, my hand moves on its own and places it atop the young girl's head. I've interacted with a few dogs in the past, but none were nearly as soft as this.

"I decided back then that I wanted you to live. I intend to take responsibility for that whim of mine."

"Even though…you had to kill them?"

"Their lives were of no importance to me."

Her ears twitch as I remove my hand and begin walking. I don't stop to make sure that she follows, but I have no need to be concerned. After a few seconds, she trots to my side with her heavy luggage knocking against her back.

"We should get some rest. I'm sure the king will have plenty for us to do tomorrow."

I only receive a quiet grunt, but that is more than enough. We continue in silence until I arrive at the door to my room. It's in the same condition that I left it in the night before.

"The bed is yours. I'll keep watch in the meantime. I still don't trust these knights."

Before I can move to sit against the wall, I'm stopped by a tug against my clothing. I turn back to find Peo looking up at me.

"I will…keep watch."

"You've had a rough day today, so you must rest."

"Grrr!"

I can't see her mouth through the thick silver scarf, but her eyes do a well enough job of showing her disagreement.

"C as well…must rest."

"There will be opportunities throughout the day for me to rest, you can watch me then."

"Grrr!"

Peo tugs harder against me, standing up on her toes to bring her eyes closer to mine.

"Aren't you stubborn…"

No matter what I say or what face I put on, she refuses to relent. In the end, I place my hands in the air as if being apprehended by the small girl.

"Fine, we'll trade shifts. You go first just in case the knights come to check on me. It would be problematic if they found me sleeping with you awake."

Peo eagerly nods and finally releases me. The young beast girl places her belongings against the wall and jumps up onto the window sill. She dangles her feet out above open waters below. For a moment, I thought I saw tears.

"Good night, Peo."

I don't expect a response as I lay atop the sheets. My eyes close for only a couple of seconds before I feel my consciousness drift away from exhaustion. In the final moment before darkness takes me, I hear her soft voice.

"Dream kindly…C."