Should You Choose to Accept It

“YES!!” I cried. “Yes, I would!”

I was sobbing uncontrollably now.

“I should’ve listened to mom! Instead of making her sacrifices mean something, I left her with nothing but a body to bury!

"After all those ramens she sold, all those sacrifices she made—just so I could lie and make her think I was chasing my dreams… When all I did was settle for a so-called ‘proper job!’” Snot trailed down my nose unbidden, but I didn’t care. “All I could think about then… was living again. And this time actually living.”

The world slowed. The wind paused. Silence came, sudden and vast.

I wasn’t on the dragon’s back anymore. 

I was somewhere else now, over an ocean of blue.

“There, there,” the Devil purred. She floated, inverted in the air. “Doesn’t that feel better? Not lying to yourself?”

I didn’t answer. Couldn’t. I was a wreck.

“Who… who are you?” I finally managed between sniffles.

The grin she made was somewhere between radiant and unhinged.

“Why, the God of Comedy and Tragedy, of course!” she beamed.

I nodded along. I didn’t question it anymore.

“The name’s Malmagos! I had to pass through several metaphysical security checks just to get to Japan, y’know…”

“That… explains nothing,” I muttered deliriously, wiping snot off my face.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby!” she whined. “I haven’t even told you how difficult your second life is going to be!”

That shut me up. I sniffed, blinking, suddenly uneasy.

“See, I could have dropped you into a fully grown adult body in Sunlight’s capital. But one—that’s so borrriinnngggg. Two—I’m not exactly what you'd call generous. Girl’s got needs, y’know?”

I gulped.

“You’re being brought along to fix a very specific problem for me,” she said, beginning to pace mid-air. “Let’s call it... a familial thorn in my divine backside.”

The second she said 'backside' she gave her backside a slap as well, seemingly to drive home the point to me.

“It’s about my darling daughter—Malmitres.” She gave a theatrical sigh. “Though I guess she’s going by Daisy these days. Daisy’s in an orphanage, and although she doesn’t know it yet—she’s about to be possessed.”

“By… what, herself?”

“Bingo! See? That MBA you got was good for something! Don’t bother trying to understand the metaphysics, it’s a chore. But: you know why that is a bad, bad thing to let happen?”

“There are kids in the orphanage…?

“I don’t think she’s ready for such a gift yet.”

“…Oh.”

“I mean it. She’s going to ruin my rep—misrepresent me and everything I stand for! All these gods, all these religions, they just demonize me, and I hate that!”

Malmagos spun in mid-air, arms outstretched. 

“She’s all tragedy, no comedy! There needs to be balance, you know? She doesn’t have it. All she knows is kill, and kill, and kill again! It’s like a joke with no punchline! And yes, yes—I do love a good tragedy, but even I get tired of the same old act eventually.”

She scowled and folded her arms.

“Until such a day she learns balance, she cannot be allowed to roam the planes freely.”

Then her grin returned, all teeth and trouble.

“That’s where you come in. You need to make a pact with her.” She snapped her fingers, and a golden scroll materialized in her hand. Rather unceremoniously, she dropped it into mine. “You negotiated deals for others your whole life. Let’s see if you can finally make one for yourself.”

“Wh—wait, WHAT?! I can’t do this!”

“Why not?” she asked, head tilting. “You wanted to live your next life to the fullest, did you not? What better way to start than convincing a demigod to willingly chain herself?”

“Am… am I just a pawn to you?”

“You?” Her grin widened. “You’re not even a pawn. You’re the air between my hand and the pawn.”

“But… I can’t fight! I’m not as competent or as good as you think I am. You’re wrong about me. I’m not special.”

Her smile froze.

“You never stop making excuses, huh?” She chuckled dangerously. “You were given talent and wit, a mom who believed in you—and you hid all of it behind a blank, unassuming face and a fake bow. Like you are doing right now.”

“I’m not hiding—”

“AGAIN WITH THE EXCUSES!” she roared into my face.

The void convulsed.

“All your life you begged for permission to matter. And the moment you’re given power—you throw it away! Do you want to be pitied forever?!”

I stepped back. “I—I’m sorry—”

“Nope! You spent your whole life trying to save face. And I’ve had it!”

She raised a hand. I couldn’t move. The air solidified around me.

“Y’know, I was planning on you waking up in a normal, human body. Now?”

The hand came down.

“You’ll never be able to hide your face again.”

Pain unlike any other pain I’d experienced before surged through me.

My cheekbones pulled tight. My ears stretched and tore and reformed.

I screamed and screamed until I couldn’t remember a time when there wasn’t pain.

Eventually, I was let go.

I choked and struggled to hold back my saliva; I gripped my throat like it was the only thing keeping me anchored to life.

“You’ll be beautiful,” she whispered. “And they’ll hate you for it. An elf. A prodigy. A freak. You’ll be blamed. Feared. But never—ever—ignored.”

“What if I fail…? What if your daughter kills me? Kills the kids?”

“Well, then, I suppose that’s a possibility you’ll have at the back of your mind at all times.”

But she was already walking away, heels clicking on a non-existent floor.

“Tick, tick, tick, Endo~”

“Wait! WAIT!!”

\\

I awoke with a gasp. 

It felt like I was drowning and I’d finally breached the surface.

Hanging above me was wood. Not sterile hospital white, but actual timber. It looked straight out of a centuries-old cottage. It was so cold my breaths came out as pale mist.

And I could see the wood’s chips and indents clearly.

Which was… a problem. Because I’d worn glasses since high school.

So… that god really did it. She made good on her promise… and this wasn’t simply a morphine-induced craze!

Which meant… Oh god.